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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 1
New Ways for First DatesPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi everyone,

Well, I'm starting to meet people again after a bit of a dry spell. I've tried the "meet for coffee" approach, but it doesn't seem to work all that well. Conversations tend to be forced and, as one man I met said, feel more like an interview. Bars are too noisy, as is Dave and Buster's (though it's a fun place). I was wondering what has worked for you lately? Any ideas welcome!

 lyrical heart
Joined: 11/24/2004
Msg: 2
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:05:27 AM
Hmmmm, well I still prefer the meet for a coffee appoach. But then, I'm also the kind of person who gets right down to talking about the " big" subjects so that I can find out where the other person stands on issues that are important to me.

keep fishin' and you are likely to find someone who is able to communicate.

Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 3
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:31:20 AM
Going for a walk outdoors and talking was a nice way to meet one guy. We didn't click, but we actually had fun talking about stuff. I was housesitting at a friend's house and they have 13 acres of beautifully landscaped property. They got home sooner than I thought they were going to, and had no problem with us walking and sitting on their deck to talk. I wouldn't do that with just anyone, though...
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 4
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:20:52 AM
Do some activity where the focus is on something else besides each other. Make mud pies if you have to but avoid sitting across a table interviewing each other at all costs. Roller skate, bicycle, skate board. Wheel are good. Picnic in the park, bring a frisbee. Boating is good, canoe, paddle boat. Amusement park, go on some rides. Paint a painting together. Wander around an art gallery and make up your own names ofr the art. Take 20 dollar bills and hide them for kids to find, make their day. Join a protest, march together and then yell when everyone else does, run from the tear gas. Get a piece of rope and measure the distance between telephone poles along the street. Walk through the building center and compare tastes in fixtures and appliances. Spend an afternoon volunteering someplace. Get two copies of a play and read the parts aloud together. Grocery shopping. Mini golf. Go-carts. Make easter eggs. Just do anything but sit and ask each other questions.
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 5
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:56:25 AM
If you do face painting, take off your shirts so you don't get paint on them.
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 6
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 1:40:24 PM
LOL Topless face painting... I think that might be suited to a subsequent date. I like some of those other ideas, though. I never really was one for "dinner and a movie".

Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 7
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 1:42:08 PM
Darn, I was going to ask you out.
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 8
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/11/2005 2:10:06 PM

Talk about long distance! :-)

BTW it's not a good idea to use permanent markers for face painting.
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 9
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/13/2005 12:22:33 AM
I like your style! Speed Dating always sounded to me like exactly the wrong way to find Mr. Rightenough. There's no time to relax and be more like yourself than an interviewee.
Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 10
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/13/2005 4:10:41 AM
Find a mutuall intrest and go have fun! Why put limits on what you can do? Laughter goes a long way to relieve the nervous tension.
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 11
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/14/2005 4:10:00 AM
I like motion. To sit for a few minutes to get acquainted is fine, but find an excuse to get up and take your mind off the conversation. And motion can include a drive, too. Some of my most enjoyable conversations have been while behind the wheel.
Joined: 4/20/2005
Msg: 12
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/17/2005 8:48:09 AM
Hate to break it to you but Dates are interviews when you break it down.
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 13
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:02:21 PM
Dates as interviews...hmm...yes I suppose you are right, but then there are people who can conduct an interview without stressing out the applicant, so to speak. Since I'm not the best at that, a little distraction probably will go a long way. Just so long as the gorilla suit stays at home, I think it'll be ok. :0)
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 14
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:37:03 PM
A recent first date that I look back on as a lot of fun and with great memories was an evening out at an arcade.

We loaded up on tokens and played air hockey (I sooo ruled at 7 games to his 0 !!). We shot pool - OK maybe pool isn't my sport...but I still ruled at air hockey! We raced laps on Grand Prix race tracks, down hill slalom skied, and raced motorbikes. It was a total hoot, very relaxing - nothing wrong with a little competitive fun - playful banter, good natured trash-talking and the glint of playful eyes over the table.

By the end of our games any nerves we had were gone, the ice was truly broken and we'd even developed a high-fiving, shoulder hugging cameraderie that made being together feel very comfortable and "right".

Hope that makes sense !

Oh...and did I mention I totally whipped his butt at air hockey? Me? Competitive? Nah!!
Joined: 4/30/2005
Msg: 15
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 5/23/2005 4:50:05 PM
mall walk is nice

safe too
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 16
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/17/2005 2:51:49 AM
What about a muesem? Since you should be moderatly quiet, but talking is certainly allowed I think that might work out nicely. Another good point, there is a whole building full of things to talk about so it doesn't get so awkward. I am gonna try this one next time I go out ;)
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 17
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/17/2005 6:14:36 AM
I like the go-cart idea, that sounds fun. And playing pool. An amusement park would be a good test--go on the scariest rides, see who screams the loudest! ;)

I think having fun is important and you're right, not making it seem like "an interview".

Good luck! :)

 Demander Vanheart
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 18
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/17/2005 7:47:41 PM
Ask him to come over and help you fix your car....
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 19
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/17/2005 8:28:10 PM
Margarita night, chips, salsa, maybe dinner, but not if the date bores you. Make sure the waiters know you and will flirt when things get real dull.

I don't think of a date as an interview. I don't care about the really big issues cause my life goes on no matter what. I figure I'd probably be out buying a drink that week any way so it isn't a waste of time, it's just a coupla hours outa my life. I know within the first 20 mins if I am interested in something sexual or substantial so after that it is just talking and preparing for the exit (or maybe how to transition into friendship.) No biggie.

Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 20
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/17/2005 9:07:37 PM
new ways? hmmmm would have thought all possible ways had already been used.

However, does he like to cook? He might like to cook you a nice dinner, much better than going to a crowded restaurant.
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 21
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/18/2005 4:29:17 PM
MM,,,one of my fav. dates was just bar hoping,,we hit every bar in town, we had both had very rough weeks at work. As we were venturing to each bar we would take a look at the crowds and groups of people out there fishing and made bets on to see who was trying to hook who,,lmao. What a night, had a great time, and the best laugh I personally got was a girl I worked with was at one bar,,as she decided to walk by she grabbed my ass,,lmao,,I just about jumped out of my skin thinking it was my date that did that,,never have I seen a guy laugh so hard in my life at that, he knew all along she was doing it, buggers!!!

Hey cofffee is great , just make it a Tim Horton's another most remeberable meeting as well!!! Not all coffee is bad for yeah!!!!!

Just keep trying find an interest that both have,,and go with it.

Personally would love to try an amusement park on a first date, zoo,,mm,,or just one that can continue from that first one to never having to even think about another first date ever!!!!
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 22
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/18/2005 4:42:53 PM
How about going to the video rental store and looking together for a movie to watch.
See if you taste in movies is the same.
P.S.don't rent "the Notebook" if he's looking at "Dodgeball".
 Nu West Guy
Joined: 5/15/2004
Msg: 23
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/20/2005 1:16:40 AM
Any thing that you both have a interest in ,something in common .where neither of you feel like your on stage . Lawn bowling for the elderly, getting thrown around in a mosh pit for the young one s ,for the awkward age , go to a pitch and put ,bring some spirits and let her watch your balls? Have fun kiddies s
Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 24
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/20/2005 8:57:50 AM
Nu West Guy is right, find a common like you both share. One girl I met once in my drama class wanted me to take her to learn how to shoot a weapon at a firing range. She told me it turned her on to have that much power in her hands. Wow, did that conjure images in my head lol

So I took her to a local gun store so she can try it. We had a blast and got to learn so much about each other. Just for the record I don't own or like weapons but my service background qualifies me to teach them.

This was the LAST place I ever expected to take a girl lol

Overall, I think you just met someone who did not know how to communicate with you at the coffee place. If it didn't work once there it may work a second time. Don't be afraid to try something again just cause it didn't the first time has nothing to do with the place itself but the person your with. No Chemistry it seemed.
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 25
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:43:36 AM
nice picnic in park or beach
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