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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female f      Home login  
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 Name_Taken
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 3
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friendPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Should you worry about what?
 mamacujo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 6
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:35:07 AM
Look at you, your beautiful.
You have to be able to trust him, I wonder though how he'd feel if it was reversed?
Whats going to happen between them is going to happen, so stop worring about it and keep busy while they are out and about. Listen to your intution and have faith in your man until he gives you reason not to.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:54:46 AM
You are jealous. Get over it. If anything would get them together would be that.
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 18
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/11/2007 12:31:22 PM
Do you trust him? Do you trust what he tells you? Do you believe he will be faithful to you? If the answer to these questions is no, then you have some relationship issues you have to sort out.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with having a healthy friendship with somebody of the opposite sex. I have friends, both male and female. If one day my world started falling apart and I could only call one person, that one person would be a close female friend of mine. However we have very healthy relationship boundaries and it is very clear to both of us that we are just friends.

If the roles were reversed, how would you feel? If you had a genuine friend who happened to be a guy, and your boyfriend had a problem with it, how would you respond to that? Would you think he was being overly protective or worrying about something silly? Or would you want to work through the issue and not lose any relationships in the process?
 Queen_Mab
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 20
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/11/2007 5:33:50 PM
Your boyfriend of six months should be worried that you have a profile up stating that you are single. As far as having a close friend of the opposite sex, this is not a relationship that has developed since the two of you have been dating ~~ they have been friends for 13 years and it is quite unreasonable for you to have issues with their over a decade friendship. Factor in that she is the one who wanted to stay friends when your boyfriend had a crush on her, so obviously her intent is to remain friends, nothing more.

If I were you, having only met this woman one time, I would make an attempt to get to know her. The only personal observation you shared about her is that she is pretty. Take the time to actually get to know her instead of fretting about whether or not you should be worried about her friendship with your boyfriend.

On a personal note, I have several male friends and my best friend is a man I've known since Junior High. There is nothing sexual between my best friend and I, we really do love each other like siblings. It's amusing to us when people jump to the wrong conclusions about our relationships or act like petty shrews out of their own insecurities.
 SOFIA
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 28
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:27:59 AM
call me old fashion or just downright senseable, of course you should worry, he had and still does i bet have feeling for this girl, helloooooooooooooo,, answer this question and you will have answered your own question, if this girl was to come on to him or like him more than just a friend would he recipocate??????????????

why is he going out with her alone at times when he has you?????

good luck dear
 SOFIA
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 29
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:32:10 AM
helloooooooooooooo!! your missing one important part of this story, the boyfriend had feeling for this girl and still does i would bet.

otherwise there is nothing wrong in having a good friend in the opposite sex, and yes, it seems lover's come and go these days but best friends are for life
 vbxtc
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 45
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/14/2007 5:06:24 AM
I'd say it really depends on the situation. I was with someone for almost 8 years, we were engaged at one time, and she's still my best friend. We're close and I think we always will be. My girlfriend understands this and so far it hasn't been much of a problem outside of the usual early anxiety. But I know she trusts me and I respect that trust, in fact I think it's brought us closer.
 NFPexec
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 47
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:51:56 AM
Years ago when I was in my 20s I started dating a guy and everytime he mentioned a friend, it was a female. I was insecure and the situation made me crazy until i started to meet the friends. One in particular seemed extremely close to him and he would tell me how pretty she was and how he couldn't understand why she was dating, etc. I tried to keep my feelings in check after he told me that he asked her out several times when they were in college. She repeatedly turned him down. Finally he suggested we all meet in the Village for lunch. I was apprehensive but I decided to go knowing in advance that I would hate her! When I met her she was so friendly and funny and unaffected, I could see why he was so "crazy" about her. More importantly, I also saw that they were truly good friends and nothing else. He wanted a more personal relationship, she didn't and he accepted that to save a great friendship. He even had the key to her apartment so he could check on things when she went home to Connecticut. After that initial meeting, I was never concerned about their friendship again. In fact, I came to realize that all the women that were his friends were NOT the problem, it was the women he met at work, walking down the street, in his building, etc.
 Destiny_Chariot
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 48
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:18:13 AM
This post caught my eye when logging on to the site because of I what I experienced 5 years ago.

My best friend had what I and everyone around her thought to be a happy 29 year marriage. I met a man that I really cared about and we became engaged. I asked my best friend of 20 years to be my maid of honor and she accepted. She had known my fiancé' for about 12 years. She knew him much longer than I and they were friends.
I never thought twice about it when her husband was out of town or fishing or doing something else and my friend and my fiancé' would spend time together.

It was shocking when I learned that she left her 29 year marriage and my betrothed left me to be with her.

I am not saying that this is your situation. But let's look at some facts here.
You and your man live together. I will assume that means that you are in a committed
relationship. I'm understanding from you that your man does not include you in weekly social outings witch include this woman. You said that this woman barely spoke to you and that she felt uncomfortable in your presence. Your man told you that he was in love with her at one time in his past but she rejected his love and they remained friends. Your man told you that he would not give her up because he has love for her.

I am certainly not an expert on love advice. I saw all the signs but gave the benefit of doughty and trusted both parties in my situation. I think that you probably do trust your man even if he has earned it or not but why should you trust this woman?

Do you think that if this woman changed her mind and decided that she was ready for a relationship with your man that he would leave you for her?

I think that if your answer is even a "maybe" and given the above circumstances that I would be very cautious.

Maybe you should make it a point to join them on their outings. Tell your man that you would like to get to know his friend better. If your man does not welcome your company than run baby run as fast as you can.

I can truly emphasize your situation and wish you luck
 TS_69er
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 57
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/14/2007 4:48:51 PM
as long as hes not "tapping her ass" dont worry about it
 MrWine
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 61
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:35:02 PM
I have a number of great female friends, one for 30 years. If someone I dated tried to tell me that I should not see these friends, or see them less often or see them only under certain conditions, it would be a big red flag re insecurity and control issues
 texasbilly
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 64
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:02:01 PM
One of my closest Dearest friends is a female. We had one date many years ago it was like going out with my sister. Anything but romantic We have both had bad luck in love and can freely discuss anything. Actually we root for each other. ALL I can say is never turn your back on or ignore a friend because a true friend will still be there long after failed relationships. And if this is the man for you then you have a new friend as well. Good Luck.
 TonyAlmeda
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 66
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 8:54:32 PM
he's fu cking her, dont kid your self OP
 texasbilly
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 67
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 10:09:22 PM
OP obviously the last 2 A$$H0les are Physic Or extreamly insecure
 Vixen08
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 70
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:14:58 PM
Since she told him they should just remain friends I think if this female friend wanted your man she would have grabbed him before you came along Id say try not to worry ...ask to go out with them more often and observe how they look and talk and interact with each other if it bothers you.
 texasbilly
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 71
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:40:31 AM
OK true enough in your reply. Although we have ALL experienced those who really do react that way.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 75
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:43:19 PM
I don't think it's a problem unless he's specifically trying to separate you from her, spend time with her without you on purpose, etc...

If everyone knows about everyone, there should be no secrets - that type thing.

I have male friends, and naturally if I date a guy not only do they meet him, they end up getting along and hanging out at times as they're all guys. It's only natural. Same with female friends of guys I date, eventually we end up doing girls nights out or we all go out in groups or whatever.

If he's preventing you two from becoming friends (unless you don't want to or it bothers you), then yeah I think it's a problem.
 vbxtc
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 89
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/17/2007 9:03:07 PM
You either trust him or you don't...and if you don't he shouldn't be your "boyfriend".
 bigshrek
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 93
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 1/19/2008 1:43:04 PM
how good an actress are you??

If you can manage to project a little excitement and you REALLY want to know how he feels...after you've had some good sex, look at him, smile, and say "You know, I've been wondering what it would be like if we got your friend in here with us..." and then watch his response. Play it up to the hilt....and you'll have your answer as to what exactly his & her have for a relationship. Question him about her in a way that shows that YOU are interested in HER...and he'll likely answer you honestly about a lot of things.

but be prepared for the worst, just in case.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 96
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 2/9/2008 5:12:13 PM
If it hasnt happened in 13 years.................chances are its not going to!!

she was his friend before you came into the picture...so you shouldnt worry about it!

I think one should be more cautious of "friends" that come along after you are in his life.
 babyboo221
Joined: 5/26/2010
Msg: 97
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 6/6/2012 10:16:20 AM
you should be worried don't sound rite . my bf done the same thing but I caught him staring her down and looking her ass and get a hard when she is around . both her and him said I was seeing stuff , maybe I'm thinking bout it too much but when her and her ex bf came over to drink , I told my bf that if he didn't drop the shit , I was going to bust everything to her ex bf and then he straighten up . But when there around each other he gets really happy and when she don't text him back or not talk to him for a couple days he goes off the deep end until he gets ahold of her . what does that sound like to you but they dated 2 years ago and had sex 1 time .
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 101
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:04:22 PM
Why dont you have any male friends?
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 102
Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 6/11/2012 3:35:33 PM
well If it were me I'd ask to go too. No one should have secret friends or friends that you are not allowed to see.

something isn't right and there is trouble ahead. If he respected you he'd include you. This isn't as magical as you think it is.
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 104
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Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 6/12/2012 2:53:11 PM
you should worry all my female friends are ex's and past fwb.even when i was in the friend zone and they just wanted to hangout we would have so much fun and i could care less if they were not feeling me because i would still have relationships with other females. they felt comfortable going to lounges and clubs knowing im not checking for them anymore and checking for every other girl in the club,then when your in a happy relationship and they remember how much fun you were having a platonic frienship they start to wonder if they regret the decision.then one day they hangout and they talk bout how much they like each other company then you have the awkward moment and it just happens.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend