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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?      Home login  
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 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 14
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
you could help her out a little ponie... start with...

"I noticed you updated your profile after you suggested we be exclusive. That seems to me like you are still looking."

BTW, there could simply be a misinterpretation here. He may be exclusive with you but still looking. You need to define things better in the relationship so that it is absolutely clear to both of you and you both agree on it.
 Rethickilous
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 19
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:33:21 AM
One thing i have notice about POF, its like a big candy shop. We go all around the world trying 40 different flavors, just to realize we liked the flavor we were already use too.

Sure, you could be an older woman that usually date cute middle aged accoutants from Long Island. You probably have even become close to marrying one a year ago. When you get on pof, you become a cougar, to jungle fever, to an exhibitionist after a bag full of drama..right back to balding accountants from Long Island.

Sure, you could be a middle aged accoutant that usually date women in their late 30's and even prefer a woman with a few extra pounds. When you are here for a month all of a something..you are into middle eastern woman, you want someone 20 years old, or instead of last year when you where marrriage minded. Now you just want to date, and most of the women are your daughters age. After five months and a lot of drama later you decide to go back to women in their late 30's with a few extra pounds.
That is why people change their profile on here like 200 times.
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 24
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2007 4:38:51 AM
Starline has a good point about how he is seeing someone, likes them but not ready to take the next step..some people really like the person they have just met [ and are not interested in seeing anyone else] but its early stages where they perhaps not sure how "concrete" the r/ship is just yet. So Could be your guy leaves it up 'just in case' , but isnt actually looking, or responding to anyone else...
A good thing to remember is that being exclusive is a good START to a strong, positive and completely trusting relationship, doesnt mean you are instantly in one

So my answer is it really depends where you two are at in time together.. It doesnt sound like long if you dont have a picture of him and need to go to his site to look at him ??

I wouldnt get the lynch mob out or accuse him of anything, just ask what his thoughts are about bothof you still having your profiles up. See what he says and go from there...

Maybe he's a forum junkie and wants to keep his info current for participants in that.

Another really good point. Could be he has friends he chats/talks to on that site only
The most important thing is has he changed his search criteria....if he hasnt, and its just photos that he has updated I wouldnt be too worried yet. As another poster on here said the answer to all of this is communication...


 His Eminence
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 34
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:04:08 PM
Sounds like a DUMB LITTLE RASCAL, to me....

Probably fully intends on being EXCLUSIVE!


...right up UNTIL, something better comes along!!
 His Eminence
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 35
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:14:08 PM
Perhaps he uses the NEW revised BILL CLINTON Dictionary ....

this could explain why your definition and his, regarding the word EXCLUSIVE,
could be entirely different...
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 46
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:41:30 PM
I'd update mine..lol
 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 50
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:33:35 PM
Unfortunately some people can be out of site out of mind types. I am usually the easy going type, when involved in a relationship, I've always been straight up on my profile about it as well. But ONLY when I've been exclusively commited do I mention it on my profile. If my commited partner cannot be straight on his profile about seeing me, I WALK AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!! My Bull shit barometer is waaaaay to good for the games.

I do not commit easily either and will always keep my options open until I am MUTUALLY commited. When I commit, I hit the not single/not looking, status and place on my profile that I do have a significant other and am just here for the forums. After that point, if I see he is still actively searching, I have a tendency to fall off the face of the earth as far as that person is concerned.

And...... there is no, "I need some time" and all that crap that goes along with it. We all know that "I need some time" is nothing more than chicken shit speak for....... I WANT TO GO F UCK SOMEBODY ELSE!!!

It is heartbreaking though, to invest in a relationship that is only one sided. It really makes you wonder if the other person was as exclusive as you were though doesn't it???

Sorry you're having such a hard time, it helps to talk to him about that. If he really cares he'll either change his profile to add that he is happily commited or you should walk away if you cannot handle the fact that he is seeing and quite possibly sleeping with others.

:))
Witchy
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 53
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:15:27 PM
OP, I am still confused why if you are in a committed relationship, you have dating posted on your profile, but that's not my business. Here is a little story for you, a few months back, someone who I dated briefly years ago got into contact with me here on POF, we had been chatting for a while, I won't lie, we had a tumultuous relationship. So here we are chatting away, him sending me these very deep and intense emails about how much he wants to try again and blah blah blah.

So I log in after reading a particularly thoughtful email from him, look at his profile and he had all new pictures up, when I asked him about it, he said he wanted me to see recent pictures of him and this was the fastest way to do it. Something just did not ring right there, my thought was he would ask for my personal email, instead of updating his profile, but that was his rationale.

Here is the thing, when I am really into someone and have a lot of interest in them, the last thing on my mind is updating my profile. I would be more likely to communicate with this person and reveal more information about myself privately, but that is just me.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 54
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/25/2007 5:37:57 PM
I change the body of mine all the time. The only problem I would have with the fella would be if he changed it from "not single/not looking" to single/divorced/or widowed. . . .

Again: everyone's different. As soon as I am aware that there's something "going on," I put up not single/not looking, because I don't talk romantically with multiples. It's NOT a requirement that he do the same. The one single time my account here became an issue, I gave him my password. Irony: he'd deleted his profile, but was, in fact, courting elsewhere, lol!

If you can't trust your own gut, perhaps it's too early to be cyber-looking. . . . .?


 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 55
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:39:34 PM
well, since you don't mention what changes he made to his profile, i'd say there's not much advice you can really get from here that's not of the suspicious or permissive type.
 Mzzzy
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 56
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:17:18 PM
What's good for the goose is sure enough good for the gander.Same thing happened to me. My fella put on all new pics,needless to say they were ones I took of him.Well we ain't together anymore and I took new pics too..two can play that game..I wish him the best of luck.
 finandfine
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 57
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:29:25 PM
This is why I feel that anyone that is on this or any other dating site and you meet someone and you become exclusive' or just dating stage you are no longer single at all, you are in a relationship.
Never mind hiding your profile and using the excuse your only here for the forums as it is total bull.. s***t you are only fooling your self.

YOU DELETE YOUR PROFILE TOTALLY..

Anything less then that your still shopping and thats all there is to it.

Not only are you not giving your relationship a true chance nor are you being loyal or true to him/her or your self, you still shopping, like it or not

For those of you that say: oh I have met so many good Friendships on POF or what ever dating site.. If there good friends, well I'm shire by now they have your home email address by now, if not make a page of your self on a friends network like myspace, or facebook or any of those sites as I think you have no right being on a dating site at all.

Be it your saying: friends, forum or what ever you what to call it as your lying it your self as well as your partner and every one else.

Dating site are for people looking for something there missing or want.

The people that say there only here for the forums, news flash, your praying on the unfortunate one's and you no longer rate as far as knowing truly were that other single poster is coming from, bieist never mind the fact you no long fit in these forum you no longer have an unbiased opinion. (Still Shopping)

The way I see it if you stay for the forums you to are still shopping for something better....
Think I'm wrong thats fine, bottom line I know many people that were happily married and one of them were posting on dating sites and it was to be just something they liked to do... Guess what my friends, one of them up an left the wife/husband, children as well as everything they built together, all for some guy or woman they met on the so called forums on dating sites.

The people that are no longer looking for someone, close you account as your plugging up the COMPATIBILITY and SEARCH pages and using up values bandwidth, as well as bogging the system down for one s lone guy that runs this, space and storage... its bad enough we have profile on here that are dead as the user's have not logged in in over a year, this you don't know till you add them to your list.. Anyway you look at it, it's bad news.
 kssinglemom
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 58
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:42:32 PM
Funny this should show up right when I had the same thing happen to me. He stressed that he wanted only me and no one else. He wanted to make plans for Christmas and a cruise next year. I went to email him and discovered that he had added several new favorites. Yes I came right out and asked him why he was doing that and his response was. "Well you are the only one that I have met"...So much for the exclusive and I have updated my profile and pictures... Good for the goose, good for gander...I already have my answer...
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 60
What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 10/7/2007 9:18:31 PM
computerJoannie:

It raised a red flag. trust your instincts.

I was offered the same quick deal by a guy. He has been blowing me off since. He only gets serious when I put his head on the chopping block. The minute I forgive him then he's running away again. He only seems interested in me when I not easily obtainable.

J.
 finandfine
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 62
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 10/8/2007 7:15:44 PM
000firefighter


I see your on the same page and have received


Then again hay: there/s the odd one out
 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 66
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What would you do if the person you are seeing updates their profile?
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:53:11 AM
well, the original poster never said what changes were made to her man's profile and she admitted that she's new to online dating. i'd say that all the advice she got in this forum about being suspicious and all that is probably off the mark. all she said was that he updated the profile and changed pictures. the only posts that seem to make sense are ones that suggest that he likes to post in the forums.

sheesh, paranoid bunch we have here, people. change is usually good.
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