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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is here the catch?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 1
Is here the catch?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have broke up with my BF very very recently. I talked to a girl who matches Russian girls with American guys. I am a Russian he wants to meet me based on what he wants. he is about 20 years older ( I originally liked boys in my age group) but can't totally exclude a possibility when it comes to mcuh older men. He wants a tall Russian lady.

who can speak good English. He told her he wants babies eventually and me too.

H is 52 y.o and never was married before and no kids ( his reason was focusing on his career and business).

I know you would advise to meet him face to face and check on chemistry level but based on her discriptions he would meet my GENERAL standards....

Is here a catch that he is 52 y.o. good looking, good job, never has beent married and no kids...

BEING SERIOUS HERE. I WAS RAISED IN A DIFFERENT CULTURE FOR ME IT IS MORE ABOUT BEING A GOOD WIFE AND MOM.. bUT I KNOW GUYS CAN BS YOU.


When I accepted my job with my univertsity I specified very clearly that they won't see me for a while around if I have babies. They were cool and gave me officially a year (PAID) of a maternity leave..We have in academia to negotiate a flexibility of those starnge issued. You can negotiate your spouse emplyment, ask them for tuition reimbursment. I never had a previlege to have a spouse and kids and I asked for a year of my possible maternity leave (100% payed ) and they signed it on the spot.
DO YOU THINK HE IS HONEST AND READY?

He claims he wants kids with the right girl and I do believe I meet his standards...
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:33:46 PM
OMG....LUCKY YOU...

What are you waiting for? You should be out getting a wedding dress...Hurry before he gets away.
 Rethickilous
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 3
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:45:31 PM
Brandie you are one weird chick. One forum you are talking about not being here for dating and your breast are size b. This forum you are talking about getting matched up with a 52 year old guy and how good your benefits from can be. This is hillarious.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 4
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:54:44 PM
T0 your question... Whatever I got t here by e-mail was truth. There were a couple of bad where people asked me about my chest...
Due to a nature of my work I am the one who always meets new folks and have those fund raising compains and social events. I am all over a place in a positive way. I am doing my proper charity work, fund raising and other activities. The fact that a lady match-maker came here is instantly was No surprise.

I have done a proper share of humanitarian missons on a way too short note all over the Globe....It doesn't surprise me in any way that all these dinamics is taking place...

TO ALL MY RESPECT HERE. WHEN YOU ARE CONSTANTLY FUNDRASING, TALK TO FOLKS, TRAVEL TO THE THIRD LEVEL COUNTRIES, TRY TO DATE IN BETWEEN (MOST BOYS ARE COOL WHE THEY SEE ALL THOSE PICS AND TICKETS). TRUST ME TALKING WITH A MATCH-MAKER ON YOUR CELL IS NO BIG DEAL.
I want to make a difference here before my primarily choise would become just simply being a good mom. It is not here yet and that is whu I am doing all my stuff.
Thanks!
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 5
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:11:13 PM
OP, I have read a lot of your posts and I am wondering why do your posts always pertain to "money" and what is wrong with America or American men (or Americans in general?) Why is that?
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 6
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:12:20 PM
I guess it is o.k if you have doubt me here. Yes, I always wanted to be a good wife and a mother and was social. English is my 3 rd language. I was given all thise humantiraian opportunities and I can't find still proper words in either language describing what hunger is for kids and war is. I guess my words can't describe that pain. Please forgive me.

But I am leaving here in the US and do believe I want to be a good mother and have kids. I l alos have a bunch of great American friends...
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 7
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:15:40 PM
I NEVER NEVER made a statement that here is somEthing wrong with this country. I had some strange dating experiences. BUT NO GENERALIZATION SHOULD BE APPLIED.
I WAS NOT TYING TO DATE GIRLS DUE TO MY SEX PREFERENCES AND MY REFLECTION WAS OF COURSE BASED ON GUYS.

I love this country and in 85% cases I have tears in my eyes whe I here the National Anthem.

I was used financily by American men. I am so sorry but I dated boys in their 30-s with good jobs but they had to tell me they didn't have money to buy me lunch , dinner. I was in the most weard situations why they tried to borrow money and asked for them. It does NOT make me unti American. I need to ask for a deep appology if someone feels so.

ONLY 3 MOMENTS WERE/WILL BE SPECIAL IN MY LIFE. THE FIRST 2 HAPPENED: i WAS GRANTTED MY DOCTORATE AND TOOK THE IMMIGRATION OATH. tHE THIRD ONE NEVED HAS HAPPENED YET i GUESS IT WOULD BE A BIRTH OF MY KIDS.

Please do not be so cruel...
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 8
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:17:54 PM
OP, you didn't answer my question. You don't seem very pleased with American men or
Americans for that matter, if you are that unhappy here, why do you stay? And why are there always financial undertones to all of your posts? My personal thought is this, for someone who speaks so much about humanitarian efforts you seem awfully concerned about money. Why is that? Are you a citizen?
 Rethickilous
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 9
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:26:20 PM
Wow! You typed in perfect english on your other threads. Something does not add up..ma! I think you are a scam artist your stories are conflicting.
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 10
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:55:58 PM
OK, OP, since you have not addressed my questions and you, yet again, reference money, what do you think we are all thinking?

I have to tell you, I have a real issue with golddiggers, why? I have been working since I was 15, started paying rent at 16 and have always worked very hard. I make around $100K a year now and you know what? I earn every penny, I bust my chops, every single day and I didn't graduate from college. I think what you need to understand is this, America is the land of opportunity, not the land of opportunists. If you want honest advice from people who have worked their entire life to make a better life for themselves, you need to come clean and tell us all what it is that you are looking for and frankley why do you exsude such a sense of entitlement? I think a lot of people here are really trying to understand you, but you sound very materialistic and it is not going over well.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 11
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:21:15 PM
It comes to a degree of not being able or be able to set up your boundaries... Whare seeing someone exclsuively amd he males 50 K (younow he was not lying because Isaw hi s pay stubs...)


When you ask him to go out" for soup and sandwich" on my part...

Some reasons (very obejctive that were immediatley accepted on his part) makes me all a meteralistic lady?


I M AM NOT SURE WHAT WE QUESTION HERE, MY ENGLISH (THIRD LANGUAGE), MY IMMIGRATION OATH, AN EX WHO MADE 50 K BUT WAS NOT WILLING TO BUY ME SANDWICH, AN OLDER MAN WHOM i NEVER EVEN MET, MY DESIrE TO HAVE KIDS? Not sure.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 12
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History
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:39:42 PM
Somethings just -ie about this whole thing. I've read three of the OP starter threads and JMO.....strictly attention seeking.....IF she is a college professor as she states, making so much money, doing humanitarian things, so involved and interactive in fund raising.....
WHAT THE HECK IS SHE DOING ON A FREE SINGLES SITE?
WHERE DOES SHE FIND THE TIME?
AND WHY ARE ALL THE ELIGABLE, WELL EDUCATED, RICH MEN SHE COMES IN CONTACT WITH NOT MEZMERIZED WITH HER BEAUTY AND WHISKING HER OFF HER PRETTY LITTLE FEET?

Something just isn't right here......... Thou do protect to much.

If one notices, amongst all the protest, she has many compliments on how grand she is.

What does the fact she speaks 3 languages have to do with the subject topics, or how much money she makes, or the fact she negotiated a year off to have a baby, when not even married, in her contract, or her other attributes have to do with .......he's 52, never been married, no children, referred to me from a match maker but I've not met him and is he a good catch? phooy I say...something smells like fish...dead ones. [-X

Sorry for the bluntness, other posters.....but I tend to call a spade a spade.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 13
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:47:17 AM
I am very sad that some people were not trying to answer my question INSTEAD they started to question my work and fund raising compains and charity events and why I am here (because there are a lot of professionals here and they do because nature of their work),

they started to question my linguistic statements (yes, for some people especially in this country Engslih is not always first language and in case you are not comfortable with my grammar some people noticed it before on POF I explain why)

then some started to question terms on my contract ( in academia people very often negotiate very flexible things and it not uncommon). Because having kids is important to me I negotiated a year of a payed maternity leave (it was questions as well).

Not to mention my singles status (that was also questioned) as some other things.

Yes I did talk to a match-maker very recently who highly advertised this man to me and I hav't met him (that statement also was questioned)

I also was questioned what I am doing on this FREE site. I guess here are thousands of members and they also enjoy it.

IF YOU CAN'T RELATE TO SOME THINGS BY YOURSELF DO NOT SUSPECT DEAD FISH. i HAD THE RIGHT TO ASK A QUESTION BUT INSTEAD PEOPLE STARTED TO QUESTION THAT i AM SAYING THE TRUTH.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 14

Posted: 9/23/2007 5:29:24 AM
.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 15
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:36:30 AM
Charity and fundraising were never mentioned before (except this thread). Because some people started to shift gears in the wrong direction instead of answering my question. I am not sure in what way situations that I have posted were so unique and unusual. If you need to know what I ask there it is an OP.

Specifically to Rock Chick wouuld be all happy to date a guy (who is you commited) BF) who doesn't have money to go with you for soup and sandwich and tell it to you staright to your face? Yes I did post such things before and I am not sure what suddenly made me all so materialistic and financialy demanding.
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 16
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:30:28 AM

Yes I did post such things before and I am not sure what suddenly made me all so materialistic and financialy demanding



OP, it is not suddenly that you appear this way. Every one of your posts, that you initiate, includes the topic of money. The reason people think you are materialistic and financially demanding is because that is how you are painting yourself in your posts.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 17
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History
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:13:51 PM
OP, regarding your past BF making 50K. Like the above poster said, he may have paid his mortgage or rent out of his last check, he may have children from a previous marriage he pays support to, he may be paying off a divorce settlement to an ex, had a major medical bill he didn't have insurance coverage so it became personal pay or he may be paying off school loans. Any number of reasons why he might have been short cash wise at the moment.

If you were hungry and wanted company, you could have offered to cook for the two of you or offered to treat him this time. Since it appeared to be your suggestion to get a sandwich, you should have offered to treat.

Surely if you believe in equal pay for women, you believe in equality, if you ask for the date? The one extending the invitation usually pays.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 18
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:29:21 PM
Yes, folks I have offered to pay right on the spot!!!! He said: "No". I have seen his financial documents such as pay stubs (detailed version), morgage bill, 2 credit card statements. He was in a shower and all these stuff was on a kitchen table (and when I was cleaning a table after a home dinner during one of our dates I have noticed it). So, I believe I was pretty clear what he made, spends and etc. And there was no any child support or emergencies ( I have asked and got a clear "No" answer).

I am not sure what ia a reason for speculation but I dated him exclusively and again knew that there was no student loans (as somoone above suggested) because he simply never went to college. When I post an OP I had enough objective info.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 19
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 3:55:59 PM
That is funny. He didn't know that I saw the papers because he was taking a shower. I bever mentiond that. But anyway thanks for the good laugh on Russian hookers!!!
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 20
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:14:31 PM
Beasue it is psycology 101. Mots people are going to look on that stuff when it right on fron their face. When you date a man do you want to use your opportunities what they in fromt of your face to find further info and learn where you stand. Would you like to think about marry a guy who is having issues would they be financial or of any other matter that would be disturbing for you? Or you would perefer not to take a look on papers that is right in your face when it comes (in my case) money and in some cases to kids out of wed-lock and some STDs.


It is a basic right to protect yourself and know the truth. But I know folks will say here when my love in unconditional" I never would make a judgement on his totally messed credit card statements, STDs, drug habbits (if I find an evidence). Please admit in some cases it does take place. Some boys do also leave cheating eveidences but you always may choose to stand by your man no matter what. And blaim othe people who actually see stuff in front of their face and read it...
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 21
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:42:41 PM
To Rock Chick: I guess you are trying to convinece everyone here that you wouldn't take on look on all those papers of they were right into your face. You would just totally trust unconditionally to awhatever a person tells you ( and you know him for only about 3 months) and Never never would be taking a look there.

Yes, yes there was a copy of his medical record also because you he just had his annual physical. I already here :" It is so private, it is between him and his primary care physician. "How did I dear to even read it". It was there and I would guess that 85 % of people would do it if only they would be given an opportunity.

Do you know thta there were a quite a bit info from his Doc (and I never blaimed him and not judging him). But he told me he wanted babies and all put me under impression that he couldn't really have them.


Sad, sad. He wanted but couldn't I run his script to a couple of folks (MDs) and pretty much got the answer " it may be a very long journey in terms of babies". But I guess if I wouldn't find it know I would have to face all that evetually. I was with him for only 3 months. I wish him all the best but due to oppinions of 2 MDs he is pretty dead in terms of future kids, I nnevr had a strength to tell it to him.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 22
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History
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:50:54 PM
Personally I think you became a nuisance and he turned you down for eating out because he was ready to move on and you were not taking the hint.

As for you looking through his personal business papers when he was in the shower, that is totally unacceptable and NO MOST PEOPLE DON'T SNOOP THROUGH OTHERS THINGS. If I had a guy looking through my personal papers, in my home, while I was taking a show......HE WOULD BE HISTORY ON THE SPOT....I think he realized you had character flaws and was ready to end the relationship........

Here's hoping you find your MONEY MACHINE and live the rest of your life......well enough said........
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 23
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:53:54 PM
The direct question here to Ms. Rocky: '" Would you walk away not looking from the info that was traigt in your face" because you thought it was not ethical and you didn't have moral right to look in there. I am talking about banking accounts and medical records.

Have you ever thought that he left it on purpose and wanted me to face it before it was way too far in relationship? He was a very smart guy and I can not exclude it as a possibilty.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 24
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History
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:04:02 PM
I bet she's looking for a rich, marriage licence so she can stay permanently in the USA....Anyone want to lay a wager?
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 25
Is here the catch?
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:12:55 PM
I have been in this county for 8 years my immigration was done through work. I dated a cool guy when I was in college and he was MD ( dermatology). It was bout a 1 years 3 months or so... He proposled in Vegas. I was 26 then and I never wanted to merry him because I was all about other things. He was only 6 years older right after the school... Now you, folks, are all about me and some sort of permanent documents and willing to marry a wealthy boy. Hello, I already had that chance and did not care and do not care. I guess we are all 100% honest and so ethical and never never will take a look on any one paper stuff.
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