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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....      Home login  
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 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am now 48 and never in my life have I had hard time attracting men, I am saying that not because I am vain, I meet hundreds of people face to face every day. Why then am I on a Dating Web, because the field that I am in with my profession the majority of these people are women, and I don't have alot of free time, for 24 years I was married up until 4 years ago. It made sense to try a dating web site, But I have a big problem unless you meet me face to face without talking to me the phone first forget it. I have a what you might call a raspy voice, some love it and others don't. I don't smoke it is the voice that god gave me. I met a man about a year ago he was the only person that I have met that had so much in common with me, I had that gut feeling this could be my soul mate we emailed for a long time before we talked he emailed alot and was feeling the same and then he heard my voice and that was it. I know why care sounds like a shallow man, I agree, and after some time I forgot all about him. Then a year later on this web he pops up as one of my compatibilty matches with the highest percentage rate. So I emaileed him didnt mention anything about 1 year ago. He emailed me back and he did not know it was me again he was responsive so I thought this time I was going to have him see me face to face we arranged to meet which I had about a 2 hour drive but it was worth it to me I felt if he could see me I could get him to see differently well I had emergency with job I had to get to which meant I was going to be late I tried to get every women that I know to call talk brief but no one would, so I had to call and you know the rest of story. I know this sounds like I am desperate all the drama but not at all, it has been that gut feeling tugging on me, I feel like he was the one. What do I do?
 pretty greeneyes
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 2
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:08:29 PM
I can understand to a point. The voice can be a deal breaker.
Next time let them know you have a raspy voice before you talk to them or just talk via IM, chat, e-mail till you meet in person.
I remember when net dating was new I talked with this guy over the phone a few times. He had a great voice when we met face to face the voice was all he had going for him. We all have what we like or dislike.
 Rethickilous
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 3
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:11:45 PM
I met the guy that I thought was the right one. I never felt this way before in my life. I was not in love with him but I felt he emodied everything I ever liked about a guy. Needless to say, I blew it big time. He asked me would I stop talking to guys on pof and be exclusive I said no..I want to continue talking. I thought that he would still go out with me even though I wanted to fish around.

Big F###kin mistake. He dropped my black a@@ss# like a hot potatoe. Now there is a hole in my heart. The sad part is I didnt even get to sleep with the guy. He wouldnt even hang around after I told him. I would like to keep fishing and be friends with benefits. So, I didnt even get laid from him. It's a shame, because he looked like he would of been really good in bed.

The problem is I am dating more and more guys from online and offline. However, he was the one..and he's gone.
 redhead363
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 4
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:50:05 PM
I met my guy on this site....we e-d back and forth a couple of times and he gave me his number (telling me later that he always had the woman make the first call)...so I did....and I got his voicemail...he has an odd voice....not really masculine, but not girly either....anyway...he hates it too....he's a retired firefighter and has made some training films and claimed to sound like a girl. But I love him and it has never been an issue for me...hell....I don't like my voice either....if I sounded to the world the way I do to myself....I would be a singing sensation!!!!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 5
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:25:11 AM
OP, I understand that you think this guy is wonderful. But how well do you really know him? Do you know everything about him? Maybe he isn't so perfect.

Also, a few threads have been done on the POF Compatibility Matches. Lots of posters complained that the matches were way off. Some met for dates, and it wasn't happening, ever. Don't worry about the matches. They mean nothing

He probably found your voice grating. If you don't like someone's voice, it's not something you can change about yourself, and she can't change either, anymore than a guy who is 5' can become a 6'. So usually it just ends up annoying you. It's much better to call it quits, in my opinion.

FYI, I love a raspy voice. Mariella Frostrup used to drive me wild whenever she was on the "goggle box". So not everyone feels that way.
 Kickn1Backā„¢
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 6
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/26/2007 7:20:58 PM
A voice does not make a person. I would say he was pretty damn shallow. I wouldn't care if you sounded like Chewbacca, I would of met with ya. Besides, I got a perfect solution for a raspy voice, I will lubricate your voicebox free of charge.


KB
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 7
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:02:48 PM
I have a deep voice, definitely not one of those high pitched girly valley girl types. Heck I even sing Alto and Tenor! My web-style isnt that great, and between that and my voice on first phone calls, I dont get very far usually. This is why I am starting to think that actually getting out and having people SEE me before they hear me or see emails might be more effective, since nowadays most people dont have a huge problem with how I look. Actually I get a lot more people (both undesirable and more desirable) talking to me while I'm out than I ever do on here.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 8
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 6:07:44 AM
hi happyfree..... be patient till you talk to one that says "ooh, you have a sexy voice..." (when i was younger i always thought i sounded like one of my 3 brothers
it's a nice/warm feeling when a gnetleman says that to you! i have this Brooklyn-born, california -raised, attitude kinda voice.... good luck & hugs...
 Sturdavint
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 9
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:42:56 AM
Face it, the man of your dreams should not be put off by your voice, which means, this guy was not really the man of your dreams now was it?
 vhdc
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 10
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:33:20 PM

What do I do?
nothing!
I admit to being an auditory person (for some it's hands, feet, legs or what have you). In the end it's the whole package and the voice for many is a part of that package. You may not be his cup of tea but I'm sure someone would love to have you on their arm.
 vhdc
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 11
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 3:07:18 PM
^^^^^ Why some mothers eat their young.
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 12
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 4:54:48 PM
^^^^^^Listen to the man, honey!

If he doesn't like your voice, then he simply wasn't 'the one'. Also - you really need to meet someone in person BEFORE you can decide something like that - it HAS to be MUTUAL DECISION.

I don't have a raspy voice, but I do have a bit of a deep voice for a gal. You have no many times I've had to hear "You should do phone sex - you'd make a fortune!" Hmmmm. Yeah. Great. That's what I want out of life.

Be grateful you sound like Kim Carnes and not Betty Boop I say!
 Terrible Flirt
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
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The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:43:03 PM
Hey OP, sorry to hear of your pitfall on the road to romance. Unless your voice is just sonicly painful to the guys ears, I don't understand why a mere preference would stop him from meeting someone he clicked with otherwise. It makes no sense to me.

I never really used to have an opinion on the raspy-voiced-woman thing until I got to work with one. She's very attractive and, I have to say, her voice just adds to her appeal. I think the rasp in her voice actually causes her speak more softly in a way, maybe to avoid sounding harsh or something. It's sweet.

As for your dilemma, maybe there's nothing to be done with this guy. After all, he's probably now even more resolved than before that your voice is a problem area for him. For the other fellas you might get to know online I would suggest that maybe you mention in your profile that you have a sexy wisp of a rasp to your voice. At least there will be no shock to it when you finally do speak with them.
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