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Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?      Home login  
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 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 1
Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?Page 1 of 1    
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.

Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite,
Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep
breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the
sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus . . . I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls
himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a
look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to
his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock
it" and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife Jess comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned . .. . You left your wheelchair at the pub again."
 thatguy276
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 2
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Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:45:51 AM
A guy goes into a bar and orders 20 shots of tequila. The bartender says, "Boy Sam, you must be celebrating something." The guy says to the bartender, "Yes, John, I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender then tells him, "Sam if you're still standing when you finish the last one I'll give you one on the house. We'll make it a 21 gun salute." Sam looks at the bartender and says, "No John, if 20 don't wash the taste out of my mouth, I don't think one more's gonna do much good."
 cornflowerblue
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 3
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History
Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?
Posted: 11/9/2007 10:43:10 AM
Ok, i only need to hear part of the punchline to get me giggling....

Johnny was late for school... Teacher asks why, Johnny says he was skateboarding, lost control going down the hill and ran right up a cat's a$$hole.

Teacher admonishes, "Rectum, Johnny, Rectum"
Johnny says:

Rectum.... damn near killed him!
Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?