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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?      Home login  
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 latenight9
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 1
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
That includes your ex-gfs or ex-wifes....Were they emotionally stable or neurotic, easy to be disturbed and how did they affect your emotional and mental life?....Did you ever hurt in the relationships?...Are you sane right now?....Tell me your story and make it short...
 stoney1
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 2
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/5/2007 2:27:25 PM
yes, very, I'm more careful, yes, yes. Short enough? lol
 TensawEagle1
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 7
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History
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/5/2007 3:20:50 PM
AsI look back on my ex now.

I find more peace in the home with my 2 kids. I think they do too.

She had a lot of issues tha two of us did not share. That bothered her that didn't me.

Not to make a long story short, however there were others of course...

Rick TensawEagle
 Dale-Allen
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 9
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:19:12 PM
Ok, I will make this short...I break off the rear view mirror, new day ahead! Other people have no effect on my perception on life or myself!
 seriously_submissive
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 10
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:27:25 AM
Ex-wife. Simply put, she could have been accused of false advertising. Actually her and her mom and dad as well. She and them showed me one thing up to the marriage, and upon being married, all three of them turned into something much different than what I had seen prior. The were seeking money and property. My family, (and please notice that I said family and not "I") owns a lot of property. When she filed for divorce, she laid claim to property that had been in our family for over 120 years.

Good news.........she was set straight by a very wise and patient Superior Court Judge. She got nothing. I got wise.

Did it hurt? Yes. Did it change me? Absolutely. Am I sane right now? Probably more than ever in my life. Mosts importantly, I am happy these days. And I enjoy my life as it is.
 Q37
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 11
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:31:51 AM
my x hurting me badly and it took me to find myself again before i could do anything else, so think twice
 classydetective
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 13
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/10/2007 1:11:59 PM
The experience made me more cautious for the next time, and more stronger.
 QUICKSILVER217
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 16
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/10/2007 3:21:44 PM
I gained a new appreciation for who I am and a realisation life is meant to be lived for all its ups and downs and best and most thankfully of all - the bad times do pass if you do something proactive...
 ec8717
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 18
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:56:59 PM
Ouch !!!! I shutter to think about the door on the you know what. I think I am a much better person because of all my ex's. I love having a man in my life, but I also know I can still enjoy life on my own if i don't have one
 cupholder
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 19
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 2:25:50 PM
You want it short?

They were crazy, and now I'm always expecting the worst. (even moreso than the girl before her made me)
 Mr-S-4u
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 20
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 3:04:30 PM
Increased my education and awareness of some of the "kinds" of people that are out there. I should have known better but I was so totally in love with her I refused to see while everyone else did. In fact, on our wedding day, her mom told me after the picture taking was done, that "If we ever broke up, that she (mom in law) knew that it would be her (ex) fault and that I would always be a part of the family regardless". The reason ? She had her first affair with a member of my wedding party and confessed it to her mom. Guess what... It went downhill from there.

I am grateful for our three amazing and beautiful daughter's and so that lessens the sting.

Lesson Learned: Caution & Eyes WIDE Open.
 Temptation50
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 21
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 3:25:24 PM
All relationships are a lesson in life.
I've learned alot,lost a little and for the most part came out a better person.
I would'nt want anyone to have a power to change who I am, so I don't, just made that choice.
 Dale-Allen
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 22
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 4:33:52 PM
Hell, I keep reading about the crazed ex's out there and how people are cautious now...I must have been the nut case in the relationships because I don't really have anything negative to say about old girlfriends...lol
 Dare to
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 23
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 4:42:09 PM
They made me realise what i don't/do want in a relationship and i'm now very good at spotting the red flags that indicate that type of behaviour. I learned to stand up for myself and to NOT shut up and put up with it.. I avoid men born under the star sign Gemini like the plague (i know...stupid but thats how it is now). The bad experiences I had with them make me appreciate the wonderful man i have now sooooo much more...
 CruizinSoCal
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 27
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:47:09 PM
I've never felt so alone as when I was with her. Everything was my fault. I litterally began to think the only thing that would make her happy was if I killed myself.

After I left - the only other option was suicide - the mental abuse continued, only not as often and the focus shifted to my failures as a father to our son.

I'm as close to sane as I'll ever get right now! LOL!!

Actually, things really began to turn around for me when I honestly admitted my own failures. While I was working on myself something within me changed about her. I began to see her as broken and actually feel somewhat sorry for her.

The reality is she is blind to herself and I don't think it's something she chose. I think she is broken and can't see the effect she has on other people and it's really sad.
 KFGuy
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 28
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History
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/20/2007 2:14:56 PM
She educated me................

I have now learned how to identify psychopaths and therefore am able to avoid them now

lol
 HomerJS49
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 29
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/20/2007 3:01:07 PM
Wow. I supported her emotionally for 20+ years. Totally gave it my ALL. Everything over and over every time she came back. Now she has a new guy and the part that hurts the most is how she can just brush it all aside like it was NOTHING. Sometimes feels like my whole body is in a vice...
 Vintage Bike Guy
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 30
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/20/2007 3:11:13 PM
After Dating the women that I have known,I NEVER EVER WANTED TO KNOW ANOTHER WOMAN AGAIN!!!
 wickedlovely
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 31
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/20/2007 3:57:33 PM
Yeah, what princess-fifi said! I've learned to stand up for myself, be more cautious and less niave. Looking for similar qualities/values is big too. I used to think because, my ex and I were largely opposites that it made us a good team, and it did to some degree but it was just too difficult.
 Denver_Forever
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 32
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/20/2007 4:10:46 PM
My ex was the cruelest person i ever met. While she was pregnant with our daughter she would threaten to have an abortion everytime she would get angry at me. Not to mention the way she would treat her other 3 children. In the end, she was diagnosed with "narcisstic personality disorder" and lost all 5 of her kids. 1 went to grandparents, 3 went to foster homes, and my daughter has been with me full time (sole custody) for the past 3 years. As much as i worry about what it will be like for my daughter to not grow up with a mother, i am very greatful that her real mother will have no influence on her or be able to teach her the hatred that is in her. I've been single for 4 years now, and am just beginning to lose the fear that the next person i meet will end up being just like she was.
 Ottpilgrim
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 33
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/22/2007 5:02:58 PM
Whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Every ex has a story and learning the morals of each has helped me turn into the man I am today. Notice how I haven't really answered the question, lol
 fouthempire
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 35
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:38:11 PM
I cant even speak without it being attributed to my ex's. They changed me for the better.
 Designs4u
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 37
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/25/2007 6:00:09 PM
Wow i'd really love to say I was a macho on this one but heay af6ter23 years lets face it your not only inlove its like part of you so needless to say when we divorced it was like a large part of me was missing for quite awhile.I wasn't the type to seek sultice in anohters arms Iprefered to wait and see what came of it.WellI did about 2 monthsafterward I got into another relationship that lasted over 8 years.but Idon,t think i'd gotten over then first yet so when rhis one ended I promisied myself i'd wait at least 3 years.Wahoo did and am loving life also the children I got to take care of..The most importantant thing to me is I GOT TO LEARN something new>>>>>>Gary
 gpb1953
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 38
Men: How did your ex-s affect you emotionally and mentally?
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:26:01 PM
I’ve only had one serious relationship. It began when I was 16 yrs old & ended when I was 50. We were married for 30 yrs & the 1st 20 were very, very good. The last 10 were very, very challenging. In the end I lost my wife to addictions but she lost much, much more … including her career, her family, her self respect and almost her life. You see she has attempted to end it on 3 different occasions.

Naturally it affected me both mentally & emotionally but it also has made me a stronger, more committed individual. Committed to turning the page & moving on with my life. Am I sane? Yes, I’m happy to say that I am. However, had I not found the courage to file for a divorce I’m not so sure that would be the case.

How did it change me? Well, I find it much harder to trust people today but I also try much harder to enjoy each & every day. I give thanks every day for the blessings in my life … my children, my grandchildren and my small circle of close friends. And I pray. I pray that some day I will get 2nd chance to share my life with someone special.

Gary
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