I continue to be amazed at the whacky categorical judgments and generalizations I read here. Separated means living apart, nothing more. Legally separated, at least in the state where I live, means there is a written separation agreement and you are headed for divorce. I have met ladies that are not yet divorced that are past the rebound stage. I have also met ladies who are divorced that are still enmeshed with their ex-husband. These are things to explore right from the start when you meet someone new, not something to make snap conclusions about.
There's not a single post here that can NOT be characterized as wacky or judgmental or just plain crazy------depending purely upon the one viewing it. This post is no different and not to bash or blame but this thread began taking a slight left turn at Msg #3. We started on "rebound" guys and veered into guys who have "separated" listed as their status.
Those who are recently separated are probably the very worst potentials for anything other than "hanging out". If they're seeking comfort and don't disclose this or the one they "target" is foolish enough to become involved then there are bound to be hurt feelings. If they've been separated for years upon years and still haven't finalized a marriage that's also quite risky since it does suggest unresolved issues that if present will drag someone else into it all. This has been my experience with such people.
"Rebound" guys AND women who seek comfort are sometimes looking to replace the newly departed partner and hope against all reason someone new will help them heal or maybe even be the perfect replacement----or at least a suitable substitution. Sometimes they're just hoping if they focus on another person somehow their pain will lessen or disappear. This, of course, never happens.
When I first started online and this dating thing was new it seemed I attracted nothing but women JUST out of something and were looking to either go wild or score their first encounter. After discovering this with a few and one horrendous brief "relationship" I began asking the question "how long since your last serious relationship?" Anything less than two years after a marriage is finalized via divorce or I wasn't their first date since a break up then I'd simply decline their company. I based this entirely upon my own personal experiences with a divorce in 1996 as well as other LTR's in my life---so far it's worked very very well for me.
While it's tempting to think we can be helpful to those who are hurting we put ourselves into being the rebound person without knowing. Once we've been helpful and they're healed, ready to move onward and start living life again we're remembered fondly but not very often seen as a good future partner rather we become the very best friend they had, they couldn't have "made it" with us and are wished the best of luck in our own searches! LOL
Being on the rebound or trying to make someone our rebound relationship person almost never works out, more often than not with a lot of hurt feelings all around.