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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why did they stop emailing me?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 3
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Why did they stop emailing me? Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Bobruinedthedate,
check out a little reflexology. Then afterwards, visualize massaging someones feet that are completely disfigured, course, or unkept. In terms of being intimate, feet are a region that are highly errogenous. There are more nerve endings in the bottom of the feet, than anywhere else in the body, yet they're cushioned, which diminishes impact on nerve endings. You can access these nerves through reflexology. Some women have fascinations/fixations for mens hands, some men have the same for womens feet, and there's nothing wrong with either. Feet get ignored too often, and giving a SO a foot massage, with any repetition, will help keep them relaxed. It's quite soothing.

OT
I find a lot of times, people have way too many options, and this might be particularly true with women. Just about the time your emails are flowing smoothly, they just dissappear, with little reasoning except that someone else came along. Who knows. I think it boils down to some people adopting new ways of dating and they may communicate with others without any real intent to actually meet.
Maybe their wife/momie took away their pc priviledges.


edit: Bob, I think you owe faour a foot massage
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 4
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Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/28/2007 11:46:07 AM

Then afterwards, visualize massaging someones feet that are completely disfigured, course, or unkept.


And if you paint your toes, and try to keep your feet nice, but they are just naturally ugly? Then what are you supposed to do?..lol

OT: If I "fade Away", it's usually because I've sensed they are just killing time, or they aren't that interested in me. Or, If I'm doing most of the work ( More writing, more frequent). Or, I lose interest for some reason or another. Or, I'm talking with someone else, who seems more interesting, and I don't have the time to devote to all of them, so I have to let someone(s) go.
Though, in many cases I try to just say this isn't going anywhere. Also, I admit to being afraid on occasion....
 txstarr
Joined: 7/16/2004
Msg: 5
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/28/2007 12:01:28 PM
i could not have worded it better than sherilyn70...its true if there just endless emails with no goals of meeting why continue chatting ..i have plenty of email friends ... due to my work schedule and type work i dont get alot of free time so i joined the site to expand my chance of meeting someone to date
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 6
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Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/28/2007 12:10:06 PM

And if you paint your toes, and try to keep your feet nice, but they are just naturally ugly? Then what are you supposed to do?..lol
Zangie, I think I foresee your delimma; you're [u] only[/u] supposed to paint the "toenails", silly . If you're painting "toes", that could seem a lil bit bizarre for some. Ugly feet? Ah, well, I think Bob really cares less for nice peds than some. Guess beauty is in the eyes of the reflexologist.

OT: As for my experiences with emails, it's often a means of discerning traits in others we find less than admirable or things that we're trying to avoid. For example, when i get signs of discord between, say, a woman and her ex, and I get a barrage of negative information designed to paint the ex as (ad infinitum/ad nauseum), that generally tells me her "pickers" off, meaning her decision making is skewed, and she then resorts to demeaning comments towards her ex (whatever) when it's finally run its course. Things have a way of repeating over time so when I get certain telltale signs, it's time to bail because if things go south, she'll be saying the same stuff about you when/if it does come to an end.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 8
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Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/28/2007 12:45:50 PM

Men are used to being rejected but not used to giving rejection. Women are used to giving rejection but not used to getting it.


Aw come on Ultimate Surgeon, I know you don't mean to generalize..but, sheesh, I really think both genders reject and get rejected. You seem to always be referring to a certain kind of woman with these statements, who I believe is in the minority. I don't keep track, but, I'm willing to bet, in my case, that it's lopsided to the side of being rejected, or even , depending on what you call rejection. If you mean just saying no to an offer for a date or sex, yea, maybe women do that more, but, that's because they are asked more. And rejection , at least for me, is really hard to do too. Since I'm in the "average" majority, I'm guessing more people are like me.

People are people. Some traits transcend gender issues.

Manerider..oops...silly me..that was what I was doing wrong?...teehee
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 10
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:54:57 PM
I think that some people aren't serious about meeting up or maybe they found someone that they liked better. Personally I wouldn't just disappear on someone. If I lost interest in someone, then I would make a brief comment stating that.
 commonman39
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 11
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/29/2007 12:02:19 AM
I've never just stopped emailing someone. But I'm new here so that might change.

For me to keep talking with you and others I suspect there are a couple of things you can do.

1) Show interest in getting to know a person. I know people can be busy but if you're going to only send one message a week then you are showing a lack of interest. I understand being busy but if you have time to be on the site every night then you have time to respond to your messages as well. You will never find out if there is a common interest like that. It also leads me to wonder if you're talking to someone else that you like better and are just stringing me along in case that doesn't work out. I understand that women will be talking to different guys at the same time and I'm alright with that. But don't do it in a way that is just leading me on in case the other person doesn't work out for you. Thats just wrong.

2) Be honest with you're intentions. If there isn't a way you can be attracted to a guy then be upfront about it and say you would like to be "JUST FRIENDS." Some people will say ok and some will say no. It all depends on why you are hear. But don't lead people on.

3) And be willing to take a chance to take it to the next level. Whether that's meeting for the first time or a telephone conversation. If you aren't willing to at least talk on the phone then I'm not interested. I don't do the "INTERNET FRIENDS" thing. It's just not me.

Those are a couple of things, I'm sure there are more that I'm not thinking of right now.
 tallblonde111
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 14
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:15:22 AM

And that inability to accept that explanation gets just as old and lame. Some of us do get busy, some of us do have lives.


Most people can set aside at least 1-2 hours a week to check their email. There are 168 hours in a week. Suppose a person gets 8 hrs of sleep a night or 56 hrs of sleep a week. That means a person is awake for 112 hrs a week. Therefore 1-2 hrs out of a 112 hrs is very small amount of time. I have a full time job, have 2 kids, among other tasks. Yet I still usually have time to check my email at least 2-3 times a week. The only exceptions are things like being on vacation or having a family emergency etc.
 tallblonde111
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 17
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:36:49 AM
Apparently I put a lot more thought into first contact responses than you do... or even second. It would take me more than an hour or two if I responded to everything I got. A good email will take me about 10-20 minutes to write because I am a perfectionist and I also want to make sure that I say something of importance and invite the conversation to grow. I don't do one liners.


I put plenty of effort and thought into emails, but it doesn't take me 20 minutes to figure out what I want to say and reply to just 1 email. Spending more time on a email response doesn't necessary equal a better email. Even if it does take you more than 1-2 hrs a week to answer your emails, that would still be a very small amount of your time spent on replying to emails. Very few people get a ton of emails. If a person gets a lot of emails, many of these emails are poorly written or from people looking for sex. Most likely a person wouldn't respond to those emails.
 tallblonde111
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 19
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/31/2007 2:28:15 PM
So you are saying that you automatically know what to say right away and don't take your time to consider the wording or expound upon the conversation? If you're trying to send a message of any depth or substance, then yes, taking more time to develop generally does equate to a better email.


I'm not saying that I always know what I want to say right away. What I'm saying is that some people can generally figure out what they want to say faster than other people. That's not a bad thing.
 commonman39
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 21
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:17:59 PM
Well, one email a week isn't going to show me that you're interested. Especially if you're coming on the site every night to check emails. Like someone said, if you're interested you'll find the time. Even if it's just to say "Hey, I got your email but I'm a little to busy to reply right now."

That may or may not work depending on what I think of the person.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 23
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 11/1/2007 7:27:16 AM

Okay, this thread has gone way off topic now. :) It was not supposed to be about berating people for not having time to write emails or telling people what you thought they should and should do. I started this thread simply to share with those that always ask "why?" what was going through the heads of those that do stop emailing after a few emails back and forth.


No this thread hasn't gone off way topic. People have brought up revelant points. One of the reasons that people mentioned for ending email contact was being too busy. Sometimes stating that "I'm too busy" really means "I'm not interested in you".
 commonman39
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 24
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 11/1/2007 12:08:30 PM

Original: sherilyn70

I guess it depends on what you're discussing... like for example right now I have a pretty detailed email about Linux distributions. I'm not going to just jump in and say "Yeah, that's cool... so how about dinner?" back to him. Instead I'm going to formulate up a good response, answer a few of the detailed questions I was asked as well and then take the conversation to another level. I guess I'm just not impressed with 1 minute conversations, but hey, there's nothing wrong with it if you are. :) I also don't put up pictures from a womens clothing catalog in my profile.


Well, who says you have to answer that email first and wait to take the conversation to the next level? Why not think about your response but in the mean time send him another email that takes the conversation to the next level. No one is telling you to jump in and say "Yeah, that's cool...so how about dinner?" back at him.

I'm going to stop messaging this lady I've been talking to for the past couple of days because when we have IM'd it's only been for a couple of minutes at a time by her choice. She always has to go. The few messages that she sent me were pretty short and barely gave anything for me to talk about. Now today she has been online quite a bit and I haven't heard from her yet either through IM or messaging. To me she is showing a severe lack of interest. I'm not saying I need someone to be talking to me all the time but you could at least talk to me for a little bit if you were interested.

And I won't tell her that I'm not going to message her anymore because every time I've messaged someone and said I'm not going to talk to you anymore because you don't seem interested they get this holier than though attitude saying how dare you not want to talk to and I'm tired of it.

And I think it's a good thing that you don't have pictures with the clothing section of a womans catalog on your profile. I generally pass them by.
 commonman39
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 26
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 11/1/2007 1:55:24 PM

ORIGINAL sherilyn70:
I am curious where you think I should take this conversation to if I don't discuss with him the common interest we share? :) This topic actually is one of the reasons I contacted him intially and is the reason I will continue to do so for now. I will not claim to be the greatest at making small chit chat or meaningless conversation and I suspect by his profile that he is not either and is much like me. How do two people that aren't into "so how was your day?" go about taking a conversation further without discussing something complicated or deep?


I don't know. Don't you have other common interests? If you don't know then try finding out and talk about those. Heck, I'm not great at making any kind of conversation but I manage to get by somehow. No one says you have to do the how is the weather small talk but you don't have to go into the why do nice guys/gals finish last conversations either.
 commonman39
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 27
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 11/1/2007 1:58:22 PM

Original: browneyegurl99

don't wait for the men to ask you if you like him...damn just ask him !here let me help you ...it would do us(women) some good for makin the first move for once...Be bold!


Exactly. Some guys love that. I know there will be some that say no way. But there is nothing wrong with a little aggressiveness from a lady.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 28
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 11/1/2007 2:21:16 PM
Top Ten Reasons people stop emailing:
10. Caught by their parents
9.Caught by their spouse.
8. broke parole, back in the joint.
7.Forgot their password, can't get into the site
6.Computers at library tied up by stupid people actually trying to do research and learn stuff...
5.Cat ate their mouse
4. Dog buried their laptop
3.computer eaten by aliens
2.computer stolen by flying monkeys
1. Fell off chair, hit head, has amnesia.
Hell, if I had a nickel for every email fade out, every one date wonder, every IM fight, every contact that started on the internet and went nowhere, I could buy DONALD TRUMP, and have him goldplated...
It happens, it goes with the territory, it's an internet thing, it is what it is(how in the WORLD did that piece of meaningless circular rhetoric find its' way into the language anyway?)
Pattern? yeah I see a pattern...the most common reasons for me to stop emailing someone contacted via a dating site,are realizing that either by virtue of practical matters( time, geographical distance) or a sense that we really AREN'T "on the same page",or simply an expiration of inspiration.
Cindy O
 ahola
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 30
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:09:47 PM
..correct me if i'm wrong but this is the nineties & beyond!!..

it is time for women to freely express their opinions without catorgizing themselves ..

step up!!..go big or go home is sound advice..Imao

especially when it comes to dating or even meeting people..
 toshiba48
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 33
Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 3/1/2012 7:31:56 PM
sorry folks,,,, first time in/on forums,, prob wrong 'page' or topic,,,,, how do i get a party to remove me from her lists, ie. fav's, want to meet, all the rest,,,, nice lady but a pest,, sorry for interupting main topic,,,, best in 2012,,, ciao,,
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 35
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Why did they stop emailing me?
Posted: 3/2/2012 11:15:47 AM
Wow, thanx for starting this thread, now i know why women contact me, but will not meet irl.....once again all we can say is, it is what it is......
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