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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?      Home login  
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 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 1
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I think women are much poorer sports about sexual rejection than men are.
Women tend to take it a lot harder than men because women don't try as much as men do and they think, since men are supposed to have sex with anyone, if a man won't have sex with her it's an insult.
I've seen some women get absolutely indignant and start calling names when a man rejects her approaches.
Have you ever failed to get a man you wanted into bed, how did you feel about it ?
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 2
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 5:05:47 AM
Put aside the feminine ego for a minute and fess up girls.
Don't hide behind the, " I don't need to do that " facade.
Sometime in your adult lives you've tried to make a pass at a guy and failed.
Did you get angry about it ?
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 3
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:16:16 AM
I can say that if I was to make a serious pass at someone I would have to be be pretty certain that all the signals he was giving out were green. Not that you are ever really sure just that there seems to be more positive signals that ambivalence towards me before I would put myself out there. Having said that there is something to the "I dont need to do that" factor as the large majority of men seem to put it out there quite quickly so I wouldnt have the opportunity as it is usually nullified because of that.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 4
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:00:19 AM

Women tend to take it a lot harder than men because women don't try as much as men do and they think, since men are supposed to have sex with anyone, if a man won't have sex with her it's an insult.

Yep... all of my grown-up, evolved, centered self instantly disappeared and I was reduced to a tight, angry, petulant knot of humanity internally wailing "what's wrong with ME???!!!" LMAO, good for character building.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:03:23 AM
I never propositioned many men I wasn't already dating, and the ones I did when I was real young never said no. Sorry, can't contribute.
 tallblonde111
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 6
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:26:40 AM
Let's face it. It is much easier for an average looking woman to have sex than it is for an average looking man. If I asked 10 single, good looking men "do you want to f-ck me". Maybe 2 or 3 men would turn me down, but I wouldn't get angry because the other 7 or 8 men would accept the offer.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 7
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:31:22 AM
Several years ago, in a deserted bar early in the morning, there was only me and a young woman who simply wasn't my type.
I won't say what type that is but she wasn't anywhere near it.
This girl came onto me so strong it was obvious what she wanted, but sorry I do have my standards.
When she finally got the clue that she wasn't going to get anywhere, she proceeded to insult me in the most vile way she could think of. Naturally, she called me gay, and even said I must be some sort of pervert. I've seen this sort of thing lots of times between women and the men who reject them.
Women are every bit as sexist in their attitudes towards men as men are supposed to be towards women, possibly even more.
Not only do a lot of women expect men to screw anything that moves, they are actually disappointed and frequently outraged if we don't, especially when it's not them.
And yes, women do have egos too, but that's another topic.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:35:02 AM
Plenty will throw it at you just for breathing.

Exactly!

Now if I ever got to a place where I'm in a relationship and my guy isn't willing to have sex, I would be hurt. No need for name calling, just a trip to the gym probably. Let's hope that never happens.

True, same here. I only get into relationships partly for the consistent supply of sex, most men don't want to deny me that - there's just too many other places to get it. And the gym is close to the top of the list...lol

Let's face it. It is much easier for an average looking woman to have sex than it is for an average looking man. If I asked 10 single, good looking men "do you want to f-ck me". Maybe 2 or 3 men would turn me down, but I wouldn't get angry because the other 7 or 8 men would accept the offer.

So very true.

Not only do a lot of women expect men to screw anything that moves, they are actually disappointed and frequently outraged if we don't, especially when it's not them.

I expect men to screw anything they're attracted to that moves (when completely sober, if drunk, it skews things a little). And I agree with the info in the posts above me, I can't get mad that one guy won't when another 15 will....sort of silly.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 9
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:24:04 AM

Who the heck is talking about total strangers here?!

My thought exactly. LOL. Wondering, do women not initiate sex?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:44:10 AM

Who the heck is talking about total strangers here?!

The op did, actually...
"Several years ago, in a deserted bar early in the morning, there was only me and a young woman who simply wasn't my type..."

People keep commenting that they do not ask strangers for sex....rejection can occur in a RELATIONSHIP too.

Yes, but in a relationship, there are consequences...if a woman's rejected in a relationship as we stated earlier, she can hit the gym and bounce back pretty quickly. Haha
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 11
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 10/31/2007 2:24:39 PM
Women tend to take it a lot harder than men because women don't try as much as men do

Cannot speak for the entire female population and thanks goodness for that ( ), but if I was a snap shot - you're right OP, you could say I didn't try as much as a man does.

Looking back, it was not on my cards to end up in bed when I met someone, so no hard feelings. I read it on another thread that spoke volumes to myself that it just must feel right for both parties when feeling fruity
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 12
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:57:56 AM
So, I think there are some conclusions we can deduce from the responses here.

Women almost never make any effort to initiate sex or a sexual relationship.
Of the few times they make any effort to initiate sex, they most usually do so within an already established relationship.

Women have almost no experience with sexual rejection.
Whenever a woman initiates sex at all, she is almost always successful.

Women who are confident of their physical appearance are convinced they can have sex with the overwhelming majority of men that she tried with , if she wanted.

Though women may understand, intellectually, they have almost no experience with what men go through to find a sex partner.

Now, am I wrong about any of this ?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 13
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 11:09:10 AM
So...do you think that men just reject it occassionally because they can?? LOL

Not unless they like to tempt fate.

Ironically the women who have never been sexually rejected and have no clue what it's like are the most insensitive and rude when they reject men's advances.

Do you mean strangers that proposition? Because yes, I can be rude when it's assumed that i'll be like..."ok" when someone I've never met asks me if I want to have sex. I would assume men SHOULD feel the same about people off the street.

Actually, rejecting a woman sexually might be a good strategy to get her to want you even more. Women always want what they can't have.

Naahh we know how to stack our odds, and we also have a lot of options. I am sure that's frustrating for men to know and watch.

I don't know where some women get the idea that all men will sleep with any women any time. I couldn't never have sex with a woman I found repulsive or a woman I didn't feel an emotional connection with.

Of course you wouldn't sleep with someone you weren't into, but most men would sleep with everyone else...should they be offered it, especially in their younger years. Even men who don't want to sleep with just anyone will admit there was a time they once did.

I have been rejected sexually before. But usually it is because I want it before a guy is ready. So it just means that I have to wait a few more weeks.

There's an endangered species...not many of them aren't ready after the first 10 minutes.

Now, am I wrong about any of this ?

That about sums it up, Np.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 14
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 11:32:47 AM

Women almost never make any effort to initiate sex or a sexual relationship.
Of the few times they make any effort to initiate sex, they most usually do so within an already established relationship.


ANd this is news to you? A large majority of women are not looking for indiscriminate sex for a variety of reasons that I reallyhope I dont have to point out. Even women who are having casual sex are generally ahving it with men that they have some sort of history with.


Women have almost no experience with sexual rejection.
Whenever a woman initiates sex at all, she is almost always successful.


Are you really surprised by this? Look around you and see the behaviour of males and you will see why this is the case, Its not really our fault due to the fact that a very large portion of men are "available" for sex.


Women who are confident of their physical appearance are convinced they can have sex with the overwhelming majority of men that she tried with , if she wanted.


I refer you to my reply above. A large majority of men that are interested in having sex will have sex with a woman that is attractive. I am not talking a relationship but sex.


Though women may understand, intellectually, they have almost no experience with what men go through to find a sex partner.


I think we can intellectually but since men continue to flood the market with fast and easy sex this is generally not an issue for many women. But on the same note many women aent just looking for a sex partner more of a relationship so I personally dont spend too much time thinking about how hard it is for a guy to get a casual lay.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 15
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:06:15 PM
Now this is what I really believe.

Women seek out sex partners just as much as men do.
Women initiate sex just as much as men do.
You don't call it that, you don't like admitting to it, but you do it none the less.

Women are no more successful at finding sex partners as men are. That is, with someone they would want to have sex with.
If the success rate for finding sex with a DESIREABLE PARTNER were compared between men and women overall, they would be almost identical.

Men are every bit as picky about who their partners are as women .
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 16
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:49:43 PM
I'm afraid I have to disagree.
I have seen plenty of women who have no problem having sex with less than desirable partners. I have had sex with women who have admitted there was someone else they really wanted to be with but couldn't get or wasn't available ( don't ask how, just go with it OK ). And, they initiated it !
If both men and women restricted themselves to ONLY those people who were the most desirable, almost no one would ever have any sex at all.
Both men and women compromise in who they can get, they do it all the time.

Both men and women initiate sex at an equal frequency. In fact, I would say women are the actual initiators of sex almost all the time. Women initiate sex in a different more subtle way and do so far earlier. Most men don't realize it when it's happening.
 stephaniezowie
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 17
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:21:57 AM
i can't say i have been sexually rejected, but i have had guys who say oh no we do not click during a chat session
and hey that is cool.
i don't get hurt by the truth.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:39:43 AM
Unsure where you get your stats, but ok. It sounds like an opinion, which everyone is welcome to one. I've had sex with exactly as many men as I've found desirable for sex. Note I need more than a pretty person to be able to have sex, so we may be disagreeing on the term 'desirable'. I don't argue that I've initiated sex with a person I'm with... I guess I'm unclear as to whether you're referring to finding sex in a relationship or finding sex outside of a relationship. If its inside, then I have experience in that realm and can say yes we were equal. We were both happy to have sex whenever the other person wanted it. If you're speaking of outside a relationship, I can't comment. I've never attempted an initiation simply because it was unnecessary.

Totally with Icene on that...agree 100%, same here.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 11:17:34 AM
I reject you. You can't have sex with me this weekend. Sorry.

You cannot be rejected by someone who didn't ask, which is why most of us haven't. We've asked people we knew would say yes, or just been on a good wavelength with someone we were involved with where no one had to ask, it just starts.

The odds are that more men initiate sex than women, and more men initiate sex with strangers than women (even if a woman sees someone she'd like to sleep with, most like to get to know them a bit first and can navigate the result if they do), so it's entirely possible a man could be rejected daily and women could almost avoid rejection altogether.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 20
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 11:50:38 AM

I don't disagree with this. I was just adding a bit of humor.

I figured that, but felt the need to address it anyway and be annoying. lol

One other difference between many ladies and men is when a girl is at home feeling very horny she doesn't have this overbearing need to feed the desire. She'd rather ignore it or do it herself than find some guy to satisfy the urge.

I believe masturbation is feeding the desire, although utilitarian. The ignoring part, I don't relate to (well I don't relate to sex with toys or partnerless sex either, but I digress).

Men on the other hand would almost always prefer to do it with a partner. We'd probably be much happier if we could be content self satisfying ourselves.

Perhaps men are more willing to do it with a partner because masturbating is so overdone for them? Could be that it's just mundane in comparison because it's more convenient and so common.

And of course there are exceptions to every rule. A good single mother friend of mine (who lives out of state) is pissed because she can't find normal guys who are willing to supply a booty call. She doesn't want a relationship -- just safe steady stable sex from a guy that won't go mental on her.

I am the same...when single I like a nice safe accessible place to get my sex (even if dating and looking for more elsewhere). I don't sleep with the guys I might want to date seriously, and I don't date seriously the person who I sleep with. Maybe guys go mental because they can't fathom a woman wanting just sex...or maybe sleeping with strangers poses a higher risk of getting a fruitcake. I generally just call an ex - that way there's no chance of anything else happening since there was already an attempt and a breakup, I know I'm attracted and can trust them, and I don't have to deal with the hassle of sugar coating anything.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 21
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:04:39 PM
It's amazing to me...
When I say both men and women initiate sex equally as much, the women hate that.
When I say that women have initiated sex with me when I wasn't their 1st. pick, women hate that.
When I say that women can and do pick up strangers in bars for sex because it's happened to me, women hate that.
When I say that both men and women are equally as prejudiced and stereotype each other equally as much, women hate that.
Frankly, I don't usually go for the most attractive women. I find attractive women intimidating and boring for the most part ( that is physically attractive in the socially recognized " babe " tradition ) . My personal experience is that less attractive women are more interesting as people. Admittedly, most of my friends don't understand my personal tastes. So tell all your plainer sisters they always have a chance with me.
The idea that only attractive women get any attention from men is a myth.
The idea that women only seek out sex within the confines of a relationship is a myth.
But in my opinion, men are much better at handling sexual rejection than women are.
Oh well.. No man ever did anything right, no woman ever did anything wrong ( unless another woman finds it ).
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 22
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How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:20:31 PM
Nipolean... if a tree fell in the forest, would a man still be wrong? lmao
I think some women disagree with some of your conclusions and other women disagree with some of your other conclusions... rather than all disagreeing with all of your conclusions. Their "truth" is based on their life experience or their delusion.
I happen to agree with your conclusions, but perhaps I am just the exception that makes the rule.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 23
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 1:05:18 PM
Nipolean, I agree with you to some extent. I don't think all women or men do anything, there are degrees and gray area to that.

Yes, some women initiate sex with strangers in bars, but WAY less than men normally do, just as some men initiate sex within a relationship, but not all. Women might want to proposition a stranger, but most are more attracted to someone they know a little beforehand, maybe to feel more comfortable or to gauge their chance of rejection. We might land that guy too, but we don't beeline and cold call typically.

Men are more cold callers when it comes to this type of thing, that's all - so their chances of rejection are higher. It's more about the mindset of men vs women and their different approaches and where they aim to get what they want than it is about the gender stats.

I don't think women hate anything, a few didn't really understand the logic, but I didn't see anywhere women were outright saying they hated anything.
 windowshopping04
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 24
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/10/2007 9:57:24 PM
Can't provide data about rejections from men I have just met... it's never happened because I've never propositioned someone I've just met for no-strings strange... chances are, if I had, it would not have been rejected (as stated before, most of us, male or female, tend to choose targets which we believe to be obtainable if our judgment is not impaired by alcohol or other substances)...

However, within the confines of relationships, there have been several times that I initiated sex and was rejected. I was not angry with the men in these cases - everyone has the right to reject advances. However, when it got to the point where I was the only one ever making advances and all advances were rejected, logically I knew that the relationship was over and emotionally I felt hurt, grief over the loss of the relationship, and a huge load of self-doubt about my attractiveness or lack thereof.

Being rejected sucks. Doesn't matter whether you're male or female. But how you deal with it can define who you become. It can build character. It can motivate change.

Alternatively, one can decide that he/she is perfect, find fault with anyone who rejects him/her for any reason, whine about it endlessly to others, and become embittered, jaded, negative, depressed, spiteful, polarized, and generally toxic.

Seems like an easy choice, huh?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 26
How do women feel about being sexually rejected ?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:03:47 AM
Never have just gone looking for a sexual partner. Have looked around for a partner, knowing that at some point it's likely to be sexual, and thank god for that, lol! From time to time one gets rejected when looking for sex with a partner. For me, the only time it was consistent was in the last part of my last marriage, after he'd started his affair (guess he was being true to her). It was unpleasant, indeed devastating. Took me a good five years to recover. I would *hate* to ever be in that place again. Ever.


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