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 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 2
dating and HIVPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
In a word?.....NO! If you have a disease that could seriously affect me, then why would you even consider a relationship? Go get checked out and wait till you get the resullts. Use pretection from now on. Don't put someone elses life in danger.
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 5
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dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:05:48 AM
Would I date someone I knew had HIV? HELL NO!!!!

Look, the bottom line here is that if you're sexually active simply go get tested. Once a month, once a quarter, twice a year etc.

Obtain testing not only for HIV but for all STD's that offer a test. And women, don't assume that during you're yearly your gynecologist is automatically going to test....they don't. Simply request testing.

In the event you are unable to afford testing, your local County or City Health Dept. often times offer HIV as well as STD testing free of charge. Take better care of your privates then what you do your home or vehicles.
 zenny163
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 6
dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:45:30 AM
Would i date someone with HIV if i knew-no no no and did i say NO,yes i might fall inmlove with them but there is no way i am risking my life,my future and my joy for someone like that.If i was still 18 and thought relationships were everlasting maybe but now after all the games and stints pple pull in relationships there is no way i am risking my life for so called Love.
 playful-kitten
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 7
dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:48:35 AM
I have a close friend that is hiv positive, we date as friends but no sex. there is still no cure for HIV/AIDS. People still die as a result of it. They live longer then they did in the 80's but people still die.

If you are worried you should go get a blood test and then go again 6 months later. Protect yourself at all times.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 8
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dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:45:30 AM
I'd date such a person. I'd kiss them if we both didn't have a cut. But I don't think I'd have sex with them. People don't even like breathing second-hand smoke. Why should sex be different?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 15
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dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 3:34:33 PM
No. My health is too important to me to take that level of risk. I have young children I wish to see grow up.
Although I have no issues befriending someone with HIV there would be no intimacy.
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 28
dating and HIV
Posted: 11/28/2007 5:20:26 PM
Some things put people at higher risk for HIV. The equation is: risk equals exposure times virus over resistence. That means that if your mucous membranes (vaginal, anal) are intact; i.e., there is no pre-existing infection, it reduces your risk. If you are having unprotected sex many times with an infected person, that increases your risk. So does being on the receiving end because it gives the virus more of a chance to get in. If you are in the first three months of infection, there is a 50% chance of passing it on. So a guy with herpes having unprotected vaginal sex with a woman who was recently infected is at higher risk.

People seroconvert after 9 - 12 weeks, so after a scare, you need to wait to get an accurate test. For other STIs, the testing period varies. Most men will have symptoms of gonorrhea in a few days to a week. Most women (and 50% of men) will have no symptoms of chlamydia. So the woman who started the thread needs to get to a clinic and get tested. If she has a bacterial infection, antibiotics will take care of it.

Lots of people continue to have sex when they have HIV. They tell their partners and use condoms consistently. It's a very personal decision, but it has to be an informed one.
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 29
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dating and HIV
Posted: 8/7/2008 8:57:15 PM
my brother has HIV :(:(
 xxXKageXxx
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 30
dating and HIV
Posted: 8/7/2008 11:02:00 PM
Humans, as animals, tend to have this silly thing programed into them for self preservation, and having sex with someone who could pass a virus onto them that could kill them is normally against the instinct of self preservation.

If you got aids/hiv and want a relationship with someone, I suggest going to groups for those who are HIV positive and those who have aids. Very few people without such a virus would actually want to date someone with it.

I also suggest sterilization if you partner with another person with aids, because bringing a child into the world with the potential of giving them aids wouldn't be a good thing.

Also, keep condoms on hands at all times, or refuse to have sex. Sex is not, and never should be a game of Russian roulette. Stay safe!
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 31
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dating and HIV
Posted: 8/8/2008 4:25:37 AM
Was it Ben Franklin who said that people spend 80% of their time worrying about problems that never happen?

My advice would be to wait until a problem gets here before you have it.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 34
dating and HIV
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:55:30 AM
^^^ to you, YouGotMail, for sharing your story!


But use a condom anyway, and don't have sex with losers, because you never know...


This is the most unintelligent remark in this entire thread. Sad cause it started out so smart...."But use a condom...."
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 35
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dating and HIV
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:26:44 AM
I think it is both amusing and scary that we have had all this information about this Disease for the last 3 decades and yet there are so many people that are still so ignorant about it!!
Universal Precautions......
Anyone has the potential to have AIDS/HIV. Doesnt matter their age, what they look like, how well they dress, what they do for a living, etc...So always keep that in the back of your mind!!
Use a condom ALWAYS!!!! If you dont have a condom..Dont have sex!!
Get tested yourself regularly!!

Three very simple rules to keep peace of mind!!
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
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dating and HIV
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:30:15 AM

Does anyone know what percentage of the population has AIDS/HIV? I heard on the Gill Deacon show that 30% of the population in my country has it...


I think you misheard what was said, and it was likely the percentage he was speaking about was for herpes, not HIV, since the number cited here in the states is usually stated as roughly 1 in 4 having herpes. HIV has a substantially smaller percentage.

As for the OP, according to him he had unprotected sex on exactly ONE occasion, and already he is worried that he has HIV!? That's one hell of a paranoid leap, and makes me wonder if that person should be dating, or at least sleeping with, anyone at all. As always, get yourself tested, and get yourself educated about what is out there. Otherwise you're coming from a position of ignorance.


But use a condom anyway, and don't have sex with losers, because you never know...


And yet another example of ignorance, as if you can line a group of people up and pick out who has HIV, or any other STD!
 anazdaddy
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 37
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dating and HIV
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:33:22 AM
I thought I was probably the least picky person on earth when it came to requirements, but heck, I guess I even draw a line. I could befriend someone with HIV,but I couldn't be in a sexual relationship with someone with it. I like living and the thought of possibly contracting AIDS just doesn't sound like a very fulfilling life for me. I feel terrible for people who have HIV, who are still healthy and productive and want to have normal relationships. It cannot be a fun life, that is for sure.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 38
dating and HIV
Posted: 2/11/2009 8:06:11 AM
No....I've lost wonderful friends to this disease......who have left behind grieving children, parents, grandchildren, and others they loved. Watching your friends die from it is quite enough for me. And the treatment drugs don't seem to keep women alive as long as men....especially women of color.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 39
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dating and HIV
Posted: 2/11/2009 10:22:33 PM

If you really liked someone could you see yourself dating or even marrying them?


OP: HIV or any other incurable STD is a permanent deal-breaker.

Marriage is the last thing you should be worried about now. Go and have a full STD panel done to check for diseases. Do what your doctor tells you after that. Good luck with everything.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 40
dating and HIV
Posted: 2/13/2009 3:42:33 PM
Sorry, Fox, to correct you, but at least four of my friends who eventually died from HIV/AIDS didn't have any symptoms for SEVERAL YEARS........

And by that time, the men they believe they contracted the disease from were ALREADY DEAD!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 41
dating and HIV
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:37:16 AM
Good luck finding someone to love....You got mail.

I personally would not take the risk.
 HIV_STRAIGHT_GUY
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 43
dating and HIV
Posted: 12/17/2011 6:52:54 AM

So...essentially you are saying that those with STD's and HIV should only date one another?? LMAO



I as a HIV positive person would have to say YES!!! If there is any chance of an uninfected person being infected I would think it wise to make it so there was no chance ... i.e. date amongst your own!!!
 HIV_STRAIGHT_GUY
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 44
dating and HIV
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:02:40 AM

It cannot be a fun life, that is for sure.


TRU DAT!!! Ahhhhh yes, the stigma and ignorance!!!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 46
dating and HIV
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:56:32 PM
HIV is too High of a risk. That's the big one that scares me beyond all the other stds out there.
 NYDistrict14
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 47
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dating and HIV
Posted: 12/17/2011 8:43:25 PM
I'd rather live alone than date someone with HIV. Good God.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 48
dating and HIV
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:35:58 PM
This is an extremely touchy subject for me. I've seen some scary stuff due to my career. No, I would not and it makes my choice to be celibate all those years make a whole lot of sense.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 49
dating and HIV
Posted: 12/19/2011 4:16:59 AM
Personally, no.

I have children and I have a responsibility to them to do all I can to protect myself. There is no way I would be intimate with someone who had a disease which is contagious through certain activities and potentially could claim my health and life.

I would have no problem being their friend - but I would never be their lover.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 50
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dating and HIV
Posted: 12/19/2011 10:38:25 AM
HIV wouldnt really bother me as theres no actual evidence that it can be transmitted sexually anyway. And theres thousands of case studies where after decades of regular unprotected sex only one half of a couple still fails a HIV test

Something like herpes, gonorhea (SP?) or hepatitis though would be a no no
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