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 jrbogie
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 2
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Independence................................................................
 zebra210
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 7
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:21:07 AM

For a relationship to be long lasting and healthy what would you say are the attributes and ingredients to ensure this happens? Some relationships fail when people have nothing in common, cheat, lie or grow apart. What do you feel would be the "cement" in a relationship whether 3 weeks/ 3 months/3 years/3 decades old? What would make you think twice about playing the field again and wanting to stay with this person?


In order of priority,

Great sex,
Frequent sex,
and a good attitude about providing sex.
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 8
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:28:47 AM

Like not call him when he expects you to? If a man is used to the woman always running after him and she suddenly stops would this capture his interest again?


This would have the opposite effect on me. I would assume she was losing interest or simply unreliable and that would be the beginning of the end to the relationship. Back on topic, magic ingredients:

Chemistry
Trust
Honesty
Communication
Affection/Love
 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 10
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:22:33 AM
I think so Sassylilbaby.
Fail, as in a Fatal Attraction movie kinda failing.
Very badness. Bunny gets boiled. That's no good.
 rcuhljr
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 12
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 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 14
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:33:52 AM
1) Communication
2) Respect
3) Placing the relationship as something of primary importance
4) The ability to have time alone sometimes, without fear
5) Sexual compatibility


Those would be my top five ingredients in a healthy relationship.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 16
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:50:02 AM
there are two necessary ingredients: two healthy-minded people.

That's it. You can't ever make a good cake with good milk but bad eggs. Or bad milk and bad eggs. Unhealthy people can't fake healthy behavior for very long, they resort to what is their learned nature, so it doesn't matter what activity is in the relationship, its WHO is in the relationship. Everything else falls into place, then.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 17
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:56:46 AM
There are no magic ingredients the things that are listed are a good basis to build a life long partnership/marriage. Saying "magic" implies that as long as you have these things, the relationship takes care of itself.

I don't believe it should be "work", it's communication, problem solving, decision making and most of all commitment. That nothing that happens will come between you or tear your apart. Whether it's a situation inside or outside the relationship, that it's something for both of you to work toward a resolution. People often draw even closer when they've worked through challenges together.

To add to the "list" - Patience, gentleness, slow to anger, quick to forgive, shared values and priorities (a majority not necessarily 100%) and the "wow" factor. The times when you look at him/her, think of him/her and think wow, I'm so incredibly blessed to have this wonderful person in my life.
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 18
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:57:45 AM
Many of the things mentioned are important but there is only one thing that is the "cement" that the OP wanted... cement. By that, I mean a deep understanding of commitment on both parties. I believe that in the grander scheme, that is part of loving each other, so if you mentioned that and meant devotion as well then that's included. But very few people really understand what it means to be completely and utterly devoted to someone else and to really understand that your love for someone comes from you, not them. Therefore, it is your job to maintain it when you've made the commitment to do so.

And that, in my experience, is the hardest thing to find.
 Longboy11
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 19
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The short list:
Posted: 11/10/2007 11:13:54 AM
From me: someone who knows which end of a screwdriver is the working part! From her: a high limit on the VISA card.
 pjstang
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 21
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The short list:
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:07:36 AM
Longboy - Do you think she wants a high (I prefer NO) limit on the VISA so she can buy more ends for her battery operated screwdriver which I think every modern, progressive woman should own? Are you concerned about whether she knows the difference between a slot screwdriver and a phillip's head? How about square head and hex tips? Do they count?
 Slappy15767
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 22
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:38:32 AM
Don't ask me. Never had one. In fact, the looong relationships were the really shitty, unhealthy ones.

Two years with the thoroughly damaged girl who said she couldn't have an orgasm because her dad molested her. Priceless. Hated every goddamned minute, and still haven't figured out where my head was during that period.

So, how's that for an ingredient? "Your partner must have moved on from her bad experiences."
 Eno1975
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 23
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:45:31 AM
Some of you may recognize the comment- but it's stuck with me for years:


"Never fall out of love at the same time."


That is the only constant I can think of- through the rest of the subjective commentary. Not to say it's not insightful- but unfortunately no matter what you do these days it's so easy to move on I think a person has to consider that we spent 4 billion years or so evolving as a promiscuous species.


Eno.
 hotdave73
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 24
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:54:11 AM
Friendship is the most important quality. It combines everything else everyone wrote (except for sex)and it includes: your ability to accept the others faults and you desire to make the other person happy.
If you don't marry you best friend, you'd better make every possible stride to ensure you become best friends.
 Moto Monkey
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 25
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:08:54 PM
The main thing for a long relationship is that both people like the idea of a long relationship. They have to have an idea looking ahead that seems worth whatever problems might arise. That usually manifests as devotion, or taking satisfaction in belonging together in some grand sense that endures. Given that shared ideal, the next quality would be accord, or the ability to get along well. The minutes that make up the days that make up the years have to be enjoyable each one , so that at any given moment, for the most part, the two people enjoy how they relate. It is what they would choose to do given all other possibilities. Lastly, the woman has to look hot when she waxes my motorcycle.
 TheOneWho_
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 26
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:19:24 PM
Most important:
The ability to resolve problems.

Without that, you're so screwed.
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 28
The short list:
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:38:56 PM

How much space should 2 healthy people in a relationship give between contacting each other? Do guys get fed up if they hear from their woman every day?


I don't mind the daily contact (unless its phone calls after 2 am!), it shows a sweet loving side that I like.


So if reversing the situation would these ingredients cause a relationship to most likely fail?

mistrust
possessiveness
anger
resentment
jealousy


The most damaging of the list above would be mistrust and anger. The others relate to insecurity, a trait that I have seen in most of my relationships......easily sorted out by showing more love and affection (reassurance).
 ORCAANNA
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 29
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:43:59 PM
Interests, respect,loyalty, love, purpose.
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 30
The short list:
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:46:03 PM
You have to have fun together. I don't think you need to be together 24/7. But when you are you need to enjoy each other.
 Zeanah59
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 31
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:21:18 PM
Attraction
Compatibility
Affection
Not being Selfish
Doing things together...dating never stops
Romance
Sex & Spontaneity
Passion
Open to New Adventures
The "Little Things" done for the other
Sharing Responsibilities
One's Own Space...sometimes
Trust...not Easily Jealous
Not being Controlling
Forgiveness
Saying You're Sorry
Laughter
and last but not least...Jewelry!
 Stove Top
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 32
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:34:00 PM
I totally agree chelsea_hou: when you're having fun and enjoy being with each other, then all the other stuff just kinda falls into place.
 redredwine
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 33
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:48:17 PM
you should do a lot of worshipping your man and doing whatever he says.
lol

playin of course.

I think timing actually has something to do with it.. beyond that, you both have to like each other and be willing to work things out, even when problems come up, or when the sparkle starts to fade a little, then you gotta add some spark
 Prometheus258
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 34
What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:50:24 PM
I have to agree with Dave. Friendship is so important. Long after looks fade, desire deminishes and the kids move out, you have to look each other in the eye and truly enjoy each others company. Frienship is key.
 esad
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 35
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:04:05 PM

For a relationship to be long lasting and healthy what would you say are the attributes and ingredients to ensure this happens?

This is a dating site. We are single people*. Isn’t this a little bit like asking a group of life-long vegetarians what it takes to make a perfect hamburger ?


* Yes, i know there are folks here who are widows and widowers, and a few who have hung out for the forums after finding a mate.
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 36
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What would you say were the magic ingredients to a healthy long lasting relationship?
Posted: 11/13/2007 11:34:38 AM
One could just take all the qualities of those who are divorced and reverse them, because the vegetarians are almost certain to get the perfect hamburger wrong.

Ok, so it's maybe not the best solution, but it's something as a start.
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