Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Checklist      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
History
The ChecklistPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Op the difference is that on POF the list is written out for all to see in RL it is in our heads where it cannot be seen but the end result is the same. Here you can just not respond to an email or after a few just fade away and in RL you can choose to not make eye contact, be detached in your mannerisms or physically avoid a person. Same behaviour different medium......

Having said that there is this strange thought process on here that if you have a profile you are somehow obligated to respond to anyone and everyone that contacts you even if they havent read your profile or if they have they are such a mismatch on many different levels or if thye have sent some sketchy message that barely constitutes contact. I somehow dont think these people will run after a stranger in the street demanding reciprocation to their advancement yet on here they do it all the time.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
The Checklist
Posted: 11/5/2007 2:20:45 PM
Who gives a fvck!

Most women I've gone out with specifically indicated that they would not go out with a man with facial hair. They had to eat their words.
 Herding_Cats
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 22
The Checklist
Posted: 11/5/2007 4:17:27 PM

Most women I've gone out with specifically indicated that they would not go out with a man with facial hair. They had to eat their words.


Um... I take it the date went well then...

I know I'm getting a visual.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 24
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 6:44:37 AM
Living where I live, I add things to the checklist such as:

- You must have teeth (and more than one)

- You must not wear bib overalls 99% of the time and must not consider dressing up as putting on a white t-shirt under the bibs

- You must not ask me to go coon hunting as a first date

But hey, I am just kinda picky.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 26
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:13:34 PM

what if your perfect match has a different skin color, you wont accept them?


If someone rejects another person because of skin color, how could it be a "perfect" match?

What if someone rejects another person because he/she is stupid? Is that stupidism?
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 27
view profile
History
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:18:22 PM
A good friend of mine said he just wanted a woman who pissed him off 60 % instead of the 80 + % Strangely, i can relate.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 28
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:20:55 PM
Well I have one too, but it has much more to do with what will make or break a relationship.
 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 33
view profile
History
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:27:33 PM
Hmmmm Checklist versus Deal Breakers would hope I would that most of the deal breakers are pretty much generally presumed but the more people I meet the less I assume. The old ars out of you and me concept. Makes me think how much is really necessary on introduction. In the last half or the "game" I tend to think of saving time and preselection more and more. Dateing can be fun don't get me wrong it just seems like a lot more work than it used to be.
#1 Still goes to Chemistry. Old isn't dead. I do have preferences. Mine are pleaseing masculine voice, heavy beard but usually clean shaven, hair neatly trimmed and probably off the collar with no comb overs but bald is fine, no menaceing tats, no peirceings, probably a bit taller and heavier, no overwhelming oders, and I am kind of like strong arms but not a bodybuilder.
#2 Be independent. It is fine to live with family or friends to live with in your means but pay your own way. That means houseing, utilities, clothes, food, entertainment, and definately support your own kids. I see how you treat your parents as how you are going to treat me so no passing the buck here.
#3 A car of some type is preferable but if you are adept at cabs and mass transit or are willing to show up on time in good condition by all means walk or bike occassionally. I personally appreciate a nice ride on a motercycle as recreation but if it is your primary identity or your car is I am not going to be in love with your wheels. I am past the point I want to walk everywhere and I am not packing home the things I need on my back. Nobody rides for free with me.
#4 Contribute to the economy doing something you like that is legal. A job is preferable but if you are retired or disabled you have paid your dues. It would be nice if it was something you didn't live and breathe but take pride in doing it well. I have done the waiting wife thing so I want a guy who is home more nights than he's gone. I have also done the widow thing so I would like a reasonable expectation you are going to come home. You do get bonus points for contributeing to the greater good in service to country but that alone does not make you a hero.
#5 I don't buy starting over. Have some history but don't make me pay for it. I admire experience. Doesn't all have to be good but if you are a chronic screw up, repeat your mistakes, or pick your poison you strike out with me. I am coming to the table without huge assets but not emty handed so after spending most of my adult life doing my job and someone elses I think I have a pretty good track record and deserve someone equally responsible. I am not bringing you any economic or emotional ball and chain either so be ready to move forward.
# 6 Don't ask me to abandon my life to join yours. I have an identity and I am not picking up and moving to totally new people and places unknown and being cookie cuttered into your soulmate definition. Yea I will consider nuetral ground or useing the best of both our worlds but I get to keep my stuff, my people , and my general lifestyle.
#7 Be ready to focus on making this relationship work without makeing it feel like a chore. I won't make you a last or even second priority so be prepard to do the same.
Hey you all read my posts there could be others but this gets the general you got to give to get attitude across.........Don't give up....Good luck.
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 36
The Checklist
Posted: 11/6/2007 6:45:01 PM
Let's face it..everyone has a check list.....even the OP. Some are perhaps not as visible as others, i.e. they are not spelled out. But they exist....you have little things based on prior
experience that you look for.
It is human nature. For instance....how many of you guys complain about the extra weight..you obviously pursue someone based on a picture that you can accept......sometimes, to find that the object of your attention has mislead you.
That is just the beginning.......we all have a list. Most of us just don't whine about it all the time. If no one is paying you attention.......there is a reason. Have you listened to what others have advised? Do you come on here with a legitimate question......only to ignore the responses? I certainly hope not. But the truth is......sometimes we are our own worst enemies. We don't listen or we hold out for that "perfect " person to see us as "perfect.
I, for instance, honestly feel that I am destined to meet Mr. Right.....and I'm making myself available in a lot of arenas. However, if I don't, it won't be the end of the world. I still date and have made it just fine for 33+ years. I would like to have a special person for the "Golden Years"...but I just might have to continue the way things are now.
I just think that most men are mistaken about women only looking at looks/money...I know that there are some people that are that shallow......but not the masses. And let's face it...while I'm not looking for someone to support me........I have no intention of supporting anyone else. Relationships are meant to be partnerships.
Bottom line.....we have to take responsibility for what happens to us.
Becca
 beerchen
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
History
The Checklist
Posted: 11/7/2007 2:51:21 AM
Hmm. legit checklists?

How about allergies.
If somebody is severely allergic say to cats or dogs, i think that would be a problem, since i couldnt' expect a guy to give up their pet buddy ( at least early on)

How about the typical : lying , cheating, stealing. ?
While there are various forms of this and all people say a lie ( however small or large) from time to time. The extreme forms absolutely crush the deal.

How about people who are not truely single.
Legit as far as my opinion goes. Don't approach me if you are not done with another relationship, or are dating in multiples. That's a faux pas in my eye. I'm worth at least to be the single attraction in the guys dating life.

ok. there goes my thoughts before i go on a rampage ( yep slightly bitter about some lies right now).

Anyhew, good luck fishing !
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 47
view profile
History
The Checklist
Posted: 11/7/2007 4:47:37 PM
I think each person has their own type of checklist, some narrow, some broad. I don't have a "Mr. Perfect" checklist, just what I'd like to have in my mate. And nothing that I am looking for, I wouldn't expect any different that my mate is looking for as well.

I'm not specific on height, weight, hair, skin tone, ethnic background, finances, car, house, geographical location, etc. What I am picky on, is that they are Male, the fact that they will want to be with me, will treat me right, will not wander off and sample other pastures, can support themselves, do have their past/current baggage in check, and have things in common with me. I hope that is not too much to ask for...

I've got my life, career, and past in order, don't think I fell off the ugly truck, can support myself, and yet I'm still single...

So what's your next question?

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 49
The Checklist
Posted: 11/7/2007 8:08:00 PM
I prefer a girl to have a checklist.
If she's looking for something I'm not,
then I don't want to waste her time or mine.

Not bothered by it either.
I don't gage myself by someone else's list.
Have my own.
LOL

Mine would be :
1) No checklist
(just kidding)

2) open, understanding, easy to talk to.
but opinionated enuff to tell me to get stuffed.
(hey sometimes us guys need to hear it)

3) confident in herself.

4) but doesn't take herself too serious and can be joked with.
And dish it back. (comes in handy on waterballoon tuesdays)

5) feminine. Not girly or frillie. Though both are. Something else.
Something etheral. I've seen girls working on cars with grease on their
hands and still be very feminine.
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 52
The Checklist
Posted: 11/8/2007 9:57:29 AM
OP, like your last post and it made me think of some deal breakers that you would never even think about being on a checklist...something that came out of left field.
Assuming that you have met someone you truly enjoy....things are moving along really well then all of a sudden out of their mouth comes...
Something really cruel and racist.
You find out they don't vote. (I had a co-worker that didn't register to vote because she didn't want to have jury duty...2 strikes in my book!)
They have been disconnected from their family for years.
They have some really kinky sexual perversion.
Bottom line, it is hard to get to know someone. It takes time and energy and if you see red flags up front....you best adhere to them. Again, I'm older....lots of experience with life,
people, dating ...the whole works; however, I can tell that I am still surprised!
Enjoyed the thread.
Becca
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 56
view profile
History
The Checklist
Posted: 11/9/2007 12:07:50 AM

I have GOT to start asking the length/width of thepenis thing. I totally forgot about that. That definately is important!
Men would happily put it on our profiles. But then all the women would think we only want sex.

You need to ask for length and circumference.
6" length & 4" circumference. About the size of a hot dog sausage.
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 62
The Checklist
Posted: 11/10/2007 12:08:50 AM
I've read milli0ns of profiles and I've never seen a checklist quite as hardcore as the OP shows... methinks that is not an ACTUAL checklist on ONE profile, but a combination of bits and pieces you've seen on various profiles.

Actually, come to think of it, I've never seen a profile where a girl specifies what kind of car you should drive or how much your house should be worth.

That being said, I think listing a few things that are VERY important to you is one thing, but the lists I find to be a turn off are the laundry lists of things a person DOESN'T want:

Don't be short, don't have bad hygiene, don't still be in love with your ex, don't be a player, don't show up late, etc etc.

These are generally all things that NOBODY wants, but by listing them all you're just showing how jaded and bitter you are.

That's the kind of list no one wants to read.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Checklist