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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?      Home login  
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 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 3
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
It all depends on how well you interact with them.

If it's fine with you and everyone, try it out, and if you find it's uncomfortable then go work somewhere else.

If it does work out, it's a very good way to build a substantial relationship with him and his family, as well as understand the nature of his business and personality. You will get to see him both as a bf and as a businessman... not necessarily a bad thing, especially if this develops into something long term.

Just make sure you understand the ground rules. Family businesses are often very informal, without clear lines of management or decision-making. Basically, everyone pitches in and stuff gets done. They can be chaotic at times.

If you need clear lines of management, then make sure that you establish your needs up front.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 5
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 11/6/2007 6:05:13 PM
I agree. Work is just that. A place to earn a living. Pleasure, that can be found outside of work. Which is one reason you are on POF, correct? Get a job someplace else, and do not date your co-workers. You will be asking for trouble.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 6
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 11/6/2007 6:09:44 PM
If the mom, step dad, and ex-wife all love you being with him, they'll love it.
If he loves you spending all day AND night with him, with no breaks, AND he loves you spending all day with his mom, step dad, and ex-wife, AND he doesn't mind seeing all the customers leering at you and trying to feel you up, AND you don't mind seeing all the women hitting on him, AND you don't mind being told what to do all the time by him, AND you don't mind being told what to do all the time by his mom, his step dad, and his ex-wife, AND none of them ever get upset enough with him, that either he, or his mom, or his step dad, or his ex-wife try to get you to take sides, then it could be fun. Personally, I can see this relationship going very badly, very quickly. My flat-mate started working at the same place as me. After a few weeks, it was driving me up the wall that I never got any time away from her. If I was you, I would bite the bullet and look harder for a job with less possibilities for ending a relationship. Good relationships don't grow on trees, even if you're 20 and very good-looking.
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 11
I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:48:40 PM
I think you could have a lot of fun driving the ex-wife crazy.
Plus, free pancakes.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 14
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:33:52 PM
What your getting in to is a chance to really know his family and get paid for it.

How many of us hook up with someone only to find out later the family is a nightmare.

I say go for it. Learn what there is to learn and earn what you earn while doing it.
 kornbluth
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 16
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:13:24 AM

He is my boss and so is his mom, ex-wife, and step dad.... What exactly am I gettin into?

A damned hopeless mess, and you will wish you handn't.
 GbBengi
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 18
I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:07:47 PM
Once again, negativity aside, he could just want you, and want stability, so he gave you a job, to help with finances, and to be with and spend more time with you, if it does not work quit, get a new job, and stay together and be happy. Only wierdness I see is the ex working there, and hell, if hes taking care of a past woman and current women economically, you may have a good catch....... Means hes willing.........make sense?
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 19
I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:24:13 AM
you are setting yourself up for a load of issues, i would step back and really think this through, i would highly consider finding employment elsewere.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 20
I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:58:39 AM
Good God; I've never heard of such a strange working relationship. I think this is a powder keg. You need to get out quick. I'll bet my last dollar this ends up bad.

Being a waitress you can get a job somewhere else. This is going to end up very bad. The perfect storm.
 Terrible Flirt
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 21
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:57:11 PM
I bet this would be better than 90% of the reality TV out there. Call FOX now!
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 22
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:39:51 PM

considering the fact that his mom works there, his step dad, his daughter, and his ex-wife

Wow!! Sound like your BF really wants to keep it all in the family. Nepotism anyone??
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 24
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:30:28 AM

I just started working at my bf's restuarant in town.. Smittys.
And I was wondering if anyone thinks this will become a problem considering the fact that his mom works there, his step dad, his daughter, and his ex-wife.
Will there be some sort of weird atmosphere? He is my boss and so is his mom, ex-wife, and step dad.... What exactly am I gettin into?


I think most of the people who have replied have just seen too many movies.

This is what you have to keep in mind:

While you are at work, you do not make the rules. You can contribute, but if your boss tells you to do something, you get it done. However, working with your bf and his family opens the doors for more conflict than you normally would have if you spent those 8 hours of the day working elsewhere. So, while you remain professional in the work environment, remember to keep open communication flowing, so that work problems don't become home problems.

If you think you can handle this, then fantastic. If you don't think you can handle it, then please, do everybody a favor and find a job elsewhere so that it doesn't damage your relationship.
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 25
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I'm working at my bf's restaurant.. Is this a mistake?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:35:48 PM
I've worked at a restaurant and women were catty enough to eachother without one of them being the girlfriend of the owner. I can imagine what they are saying behind your back. Every day off you get, every good table you get, will be because your man runs the place, according to them anyway. It's a touchy situation. I'd make it clear to your Bf that you don't want any special treatment.
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