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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait ti      Home login  
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 MontrealMT
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 1
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hello everybody

I had a look at many of the threads but since there are 300+ I stopped at 25. My question to everyone but especially the women on POF is weather or not to tell a woman right away about a desire to be a cuckold (if you don't know what that is look it up on Wikepedia, they have a decent explanation), or wait till the relationship is well established before confessing this desire. Of course I realise that by posing the question I may hurt my chances with my match pool but I really would like your advice and also to know if some women on the site are openly into cuckoldry and would like that in their relationship. For me its not just fantasy it's something I would like maybe not right away but the possibility somewhere down the line in the relationship. Thank you in advance for your input, cheers.
 MermaidMafia
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 2
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:34:46 PM
Well this is definitely not the same old topic ;)

If it's more than just a fantasy and something you really want to happen, I think you should mention it pretty early on. Since she's the one expected to perform while you sit back and watch. Not something you can just spring on a lady after you're in a committed relationship, I think.
 MontrealMT
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 3
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:02:44 PM
Hey everybody…thanks for all your contributions so far even from you Toby. To Tina…I apologize for making you look something up.

I would like to say that I have the most respect for woman and that this sort of arrangement is in no way an attempt to demean the woman that I hopefully will build a life with. I could answer every diverging opinion here but I won’t. Posting in a public forum is a double edged sword. But I will say this, there are different strokes for different folks and that regardless of our cyber persona were still human being and I am a very respectful of others so I would hope you’ll temper your judgement in response to my question. Also this sort of arrangement is more common than you think…actually I think it would surprise you as it did me when I first started to learn about it a decade ago.

To everyone else, keep posting your two cents, I do appreciate it.
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:17:15 AM
I am with those who say to bring it up early...if not earlier lol. You probably should put it in your profile or at least something that hints that you are into something different. Also checking out more specialty sites is probably a good idea to broaden your chances of finding someone, but don't expect much luck on a site that concentrates on cuckolding because there aren't many single women who visit those to be honest. Instead the BDSM sites or "adult swinging sites" are usually a better choice for this type of relationship. When you go there, you need to be clear if you are looking for a cuckoldress or a hot wife though as the 2 terms are normally considered to be very different and with very different realities. On an added note, advertising for a "slut wife" probably isn't the way to go if you are looking for a cuckoldress.

In my experience, people often misunderstand the cuckolding lifestyle. It isn't about a woman being forced to sleep with many men at all...and it isn't about her being objectified or watched (although it can be)...and it isn't about many sexual partners (although it can be). My point? Well, directed at anyone who might be interested in an "alternative lifestyle choice" or "non-traditional lifestyle," please don't let the negative comments by those who don't fully understand what it is get you down or discourage you. There are too many individuals living in hiding and miserable with their chosen spouse because they were afraid to voice their desires. There is someone for everyone, it is just a matter of being honest and finding the right match!
 srqflaman
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 5
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:07:35 AM
People never cease to amaze me on these sites.....

But at least the guy is straightforward, which is refreshing in itself for sure.....

My experience is that most of the women are 'clickity-clicking' living vicariusly on the web anyway......still others seem addicted to attention, praise or friggen 'chitchat'.....

I suddenly have the need to go wash my hands......
 MontrealMT
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 6
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 10:05:50 AM
Hello everyone

First I wanted to say hello to Toby and say that I never wrote that I didnt want everyones input. Actually I believe I wrote somewhere that writing in a public forum is a double edged sword, meaning you get positive and negative. All I'm saying is if your opinion is negative it can still be respectful and I respect your point of view even if I dont share it and so far I don't think you've been intentionally disrespectful.

To be clear I'm not a sex crazed neanderthaal, actually I'm highly educated and intelligent and as I mentionned before, respecful of all people. Some have been curious about a few things so I thought I would answer some of those questions.

1. Did I write the add in order to attract response from women who might be interested? The answer is it wasnt my first objective but it was in the back of my mind and I wouldn't be disappointed if some "closest cuckoldresses" as someone put it, did contact me in private.

2. Some of you wanted to know if I was looking for more of a hotwife or more of a cuckold relationship. The answer is somewhere in between. In the 10 years or since I discovered this lifestyle which is a subculture of swinging, I've found chatting with real couples in the "scene" that every couple is different and every arrangement is as different as people are different. Not being someone very extreme, simply adventurous, I'm more middle of the road. I do know that I am not interested in swinging as I'm not really interested in more than one woman, with the exception of saying that I would, if it pleased my partner that I do so. Personally I would decribe myself as a voyeur from a very early age and then it evolved into a deep interest in cuckoldry.

3. I wanted to answer that splendid beautiful Romanian sweetheart that so kindly posted on this thread about the use of the word slut. I didn't use the word in this forum because it is public and I think language is a powerful thing and can awake many emotions running the complete range from rage to extreme arousal. I also think the word can be used meaning different things and differs depending on the structure of the phrase it is in, the tone in which it is delivered and by whom. I also think that the word often mistakenly attributed to women and is a raw deal for those of the feminin gender. Let me explain. If a man sleeps around with many woman...if he is a nice guy or not ...he's described as a "Stud", meaning he is verile, manly, conquering, strong. A woman sleeps around weather she is nice or not will automatically have this label of slut used which is understood by the vast majority of the populations of the world to mean that she is, a woman of loose morals, uncontrolled, unpure, deviant, depraved. The word nymphomaniac is used for woman with a high sex drive but is rarely applied to men but would seem more appropriate given their general disposition to fornicate whenever possible (I don't exclude myself from this point of view in order not to seem like a hypocrite). There simply isn't another word that exist in the english language that describes a woman who is sexually empowered other then perhaps vixen but here again there seems to be undertones of deviousness. Anyway I've gone on long enough.

I look forward to reading more of your responses
 canhelpu2
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 7
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 10:45:54 AM
The only problem with this is that women may actually not mind your fetish, but I have a feeling many woudl not be honest for fear of being judged early on so they may so "no" and actually be open to it. Many women fear being judged, disrespected, or think they are being tested by the guy to see if she is off center and thus more likely to act out. Many of those women later on might express their openess to it once they feel thy can be sincere and not worry about the aforementioned possibilities.
 MontrealMT
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 8
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:39:53 AM
Hello everybody

Again I really want to thank everyone for their point of view so far. I was really impressed by the though put in to some of your posts. At this point most of you feel that I should mention it pretty early on and even right at the beginning. One person thought I should mention it specifically on my profile and another said I should mention I'm looking for someone open minded. I'm leaning towards editing my profile and putting something on it but I'm concerned that being too specific will scare off many potential matches. What do you guys think ?
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:28:33 AM

A Slut Wife generally is the term used when humiliation is part of the cuckold life, meaning the husband has little or no say in who she chooses for a bull or how many she chooses for that matter.

I feel the need to add though that this is not always true. Sometimes the men will aide in picking the bulls ect...but that is more of a "Hot wifeing situation." In a Cuckoldress situation, the woman is Domme and in control. Not all choose to be seens as a "Slut Wife" and therefore in a search I would leave the term out as it may exclude some women who might desire the lifestyle and also might turn off someone who may be new to the lifestyle. Some women choose only one or two long term Bulls/lovers for fluid bound safety sake (allowing them to safely allow the hubbies to partake in creampies). Their cucks/husbands are no less cucked and there are MANY other ways that humiliation can and does come into play.

On another note, I have heard of SLUT being used for an acronym standing for Sexually Liberated Unadulterated Temptress...
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 10
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:24:51 PM
Wow, I agree this is not the same old post...and way to revive it after all this time!!

Personally I'm not interested in it at all, I'm a one man woman, but to each their own. I think you should mention it in your profile outright...using the term and perhaps offering a link to a site that gives the definition you are meaning (wiki gives more then one definition so they might think you mean the current one, not the traditional one). Then there's no worrying about it as the relationship develops. I'm thinking people will wither be for it or against it so if it's a deal breaker kinda thing for you then make that known asap.

Since you started the post in 2007 what kind of responses have you had? You're still here so I take it you haven't found your one true cuckold lover.
 SportyLady59
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 11
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:09:51 AM
I think you should find a way to write this into your profile. I would want to know about something like this before building a relationship with a man. I have twice started relationships with men who told me of a must have sex act that I objected to before I ever met them in person. I was glad to have the opportunity to say "no, I'm not willing to do that" before I had put a lot of effort into the relationship.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 12
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:41:52 AM
I don't think there is anything wrong with being upfront about it.

But I would also say that choosing a woman who is very sexual would be the first best step. Someone who views sex as a physical need, not an emotional one. Choosing the right partner to work into the lifestyle is crucial.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 13
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:15:33 AM
all men real men want a hot wife, look at how many men want to share there wifes in the intimate encounter section
 taylortornado
Joined: 3/1/2011
Msg: 14
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/30/2011 7:03:21 PM
Do you think you can't satisfy a woman so you fantasize about other men having sex with her that can satisfy her needs? Is that what the cuckold fantasy is all about? Just curious about it.
 Ayman78
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 15
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:46:49 AM
"SweetKel" what is the turn off for you? Did his purposal make you think less of him as a man? Or was there concern about what other people may think of you and him?
 Sailasub2
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 16
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:30:22 PM
So did you get any responses with real interest? This thread is now 5 years old.

I think that using the word cuckold may turn some women off. Unless you are really looking for slut wife that sleeps around with many men you may want to use other language. Talking about strong women that take control or that you are open to polyamory but are primarily a one woman man yourself is more likely to get women interested. Many women seem to fear the idea of being a slut but might be open to having one extramaritial lover at a time.

Also, you may want to check out Fetlife.com, Bondage.com and collarme.com to meet like minded people.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 17
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:53:47 AM
the way that label is used today, only means 'hot wife'(one of the most popular )
as far as all the people on here crying about this
well, it is not your cup of tea,The OP has every right to ask the question!!
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 18
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 5/24/2012 3:16:58 PM
Why all the close minded insulting responses. This guy asked an honest question and deserves an honest answer, not some attack on his character.

I think you should put as much information on your profile as you can. Keep in mind that the more information you share the better the chance you have of finding a match. If a woman is going to be turned off by the type of relationship your looking for, do you really want to have her finding that out on your 2nd, 3rd or 4th date?
 Tallyh0e
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 19
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 5/28/2012 6:46:13 PM
Hmm Interesting. Too each their own.
 MakeUTingle
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 20
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 8/16/2012 12:17:51 PM
I would dearly love to be married to a cuckoldress. I have to agree with those who advise in favor of quickly stating that interest to a prospective mate...while that will filter out lots of women that might have been interested in you, that would be part of the process of getting to what you really want (if that is a "must have" for you). Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 21
Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 8/16/2012 12:34:28 PM
If it is a mandatory requirement for you to have a happy and fulfilled sex life, you should bring it up early on in the getting to know each other phase. If the issue sex did not come up earlier, bring it up at the point in when the relationship is about to become physical, something like: Before we jump into it, can we talk about a few things?

And I do agree with some other posters, no need to insult the OP with snide comments here, just because you don't share his preferences.
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 22
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 8/16/2012 9:17:44 PM
Great topic. Well done on your honesty too. Encouraging open discussion about differing sexual desires is great. Note the amount of people who refer to it as 'normal' or not.
Were you to engage with me on this site, I would encourage you to discuss sex and sexuality with me. I want to know what i'm letting myself in for.
Of course there are women who match your desires. To attract them, change up your profile & 'allude' to your desires. Any woman who is also into it, will read between the lines.
Good luck in your search..Now to find myself a good Dom...hahaha
nb: I wouldn't be encouraging people to use wikkipedia as a resource.
 DANQQ4DA1
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 23
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 10/7/2012 5:55:35 AM
Audrianna, its total submission. So you would pick the guy or guys and all the when and wheres. Everything would be totally in your hands.
 G41978
Joined: 10/2/2012
Msg: 24
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:38:25 AM
I posted that in my own profile. A person needs to know what they are getting into
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 25
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Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 10/29/2013 6:18:45 AM

If the feelings are genuine she wouldn't break up with me because when someone has genuine feelings for someone they don't break up with someone simply because they aren't into the fetish. They either make an effort to try to understand and try it or simply say, sorry but I just can't get into that.

The problem with this tactic is the other person will feel blindsided and under a lot of pressure to accept and embrace the fetish, or risk losing a relationship where there's been time, money and emotional investments made. If you're upfront about it you minimize those risks.

How many MARRIED couples do you know where the husband cross dresses, and once he revealed that desire to his wife, she left, took the kids, and dragged him through the courts, vilifying him to all their friends and family members because he HAS TO BE GAY (I don't have a problem with anyone being gay, btw), or seriously mentally f*cked up to want to wear women's clothing (um.. women wear women's clothing every day.. does that mean we are seriously mentally f*cked up too?).

I'm pretty open minded. Seriously open minded. There are things I wouldn't be able to accept and I would want to know about them before I got involved with someone, because no matter how much I cared for them I just wouldn't be able to participate in their kink/fetish. I'm not sure I could even be generous enough to support them in their pursuit of it with someone else (never been in that specific situation, so can't say definitively how I would react). As I said, there are limits for me.

Oh.. and as many relationships you hear about breaking up for things like this, there are a few that weather that sh*t storm and carry on stronger than ever.
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