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 atitude man
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 1
Why women wont date seperated menPage 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Why wont women on this site date seperated men but yet they are seperated and will only date single men with this mantality what makes them think single men want to date seperated women when in fact it should not make a difference to anyone after all are we not all on here to meet someone is that not the point of a dating site . And maybe they havent gotten their devorce yet so how can they state single on there profile when in fact they are still legaly married .seperated men are single but with a piece of paper that makes them wait for the big D!
 raychass
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 2
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:18:27 PM
Well i can't speak for all women only myself ,but the reason i don't date separated men is because you are still married and i don't date married men. Even someone newly divorced i would have to think about whether or not i want to get into a potentially drama filled situation.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 3
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:37:45 PM
Sorry dude. Mr Happy may have to be on short rations until your divorce is actually final.

There ARE dating websites that cater to those who are only looking for sex and don't much care about marital status or whether dating will lead to a relationship.

For the most part, the women here seem to be looking for dating with a future. Experience ( or paying attention to other women's experiences)has shown them that dating a "separated" man is all to often dating WITHOUT a future. this is not to say he will reconcile with his wife necessarily, but there IS a grieving/healing process following a divorce that all too often gets pushed aside, due to fear of being alone, sexual anxiety, or to "prove" something(that they can find a new love, that it was the other person's fault, whatever!)and smart women know that this will come back to bite them in the ass.
Cindy O
 Heart Bandit
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 4
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:58:12 PM
I'd like to give the male perspective (at least mine) on this. I would not date a woman who is separated. There would be a lingering doubt in my mind about her going back to him. Now once her divorce is final, that would be fine.
 colorblindstar
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 5
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:00:09 PM
I mean really?...what is it about this strange 'mantality' about 'devorce' anyway???

Honestly!!!...*walks away shakin' her head*
 Gift Wrap
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 6
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:14:28 PM
So much rambling about a silly topic ... So difficult to read ... so much butchering of punctuation ... Head spinning ... overheating ...

Holy run-ons Batman!
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 7
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History
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:30:52 PM
Poor writing skills aside (which is tough for me, but I'm willing to give it a go), here's the reason *I* don't date separated men.

Many years ago, I dated a guy who was separated. I didn't know how newly separated he was until I was already quite infatuated with him. I fell hard for this guy....

His wife found out about me....started calling constantly...refused to let him see their daughter if I was around....guess what happened?

Yup. He went back to her. And I was devastated. End of story.

That is why *I* don't date separated men.

Personally, I have taken a year (and counting) after my last break-up to get involved with someone. We weren't married, but we were together for eight years, and had two children together. Although I've been lonely on occasion, I think I made the right decision in waiting. I am more sure of what I want in a relationship, and will not settle for less. There is a grieving process, a healing process, and a "getting to know me" process that's important after the death of a long term relationship.

Don't be in such a rush, being single isn't so bad. You get the whole bed to yourself, can do whatever you want whenever you want, and don't have to answer to anyone for the decisions you make.

My advice: slow down, rediscover yourself, and have some fun. When the time is right you'll meet someone that you want to pursue, and hopefully be ready to move on, free of baggage.

Have fun!
 The Belly
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 8
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:31:44 PM
op, I just ended a relationship with such a hypocrite!

In her profile she says she is separated, yet mail blocks must not be married!

She lives with her ex husband! And not the one she is separated from..
Yet tried to bash me for sharing an apartment with my ex wife, who has been my best friend for years. (no way for her to move in and free load)

She said she had a job, yet when she stayed with me for a week, she never went to work! Or had any money for food or even her own cigarettes.( free loader)

She spoke of how spiritual she was, but when I told her to get out she took off with some of my cloths and a few bucks, while I was at work no less.( thief and liar)

Said from the beginning that she didn't want me to have any drama in my life..( She brought enough for the two of us...)

So you see op, If I would have just excepted the things I saw and walked away I wouldn't have such wonderful memories of the person.lol.. And wouldn't be in need of some new cloths..

So be thankful for what you don't understand.. It may be for the better!

~Belly~
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 9
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:42:14 PM
Without going to the other concerns, no matter how much they reassure you that it won't happen there is a higher risk that they will get back with the "ex". Happens more than you think.
 backoftheque
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 10
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:44:43 PM
Sheesh Belly...some people are so hypocritical and crazy. Sorry things went so badly.

Summed up best when said ""be thankful for what you don't understand.. It may be for the better!""
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 11
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:48:33 PM
Sorry folks but you dont make sense to me!
You can go back to an ex if you are single or divorced too!!
 raychass
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 12
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:02:06 PM
For me the chance of going back to his wife is only one part of why i wont date married men . One is the fact that they are married and to me that's just wrong. Another part is that in a break up you have to give yourself sufficient time to heal . In my opinion a separated person or even a newly divorced one has not given themselves enough time on their own yet.
 who me noway
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 13
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:07:27 PM
For me, I won't date someone separated or "going through a divorce".
I think you change so much from when you separate, start the divorce and then when it is finaly and you start to become more familiar with "you".

I think (sorry guys) a number of men freak about getting separated or divorced and want to grab on to the first person they come across... is that love or just filling a void.

You need to take your time after you have a long relationship of any kind...

that way your less likely to repeat what you just went through.
 bridg317
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 14
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:13:04 PM
Ok, here is my opinion and my opinion only. I am separated and I feel that as long as you are NOT living with your future ex and because, of course, nobody on here knows the WHOLE story, they should not judge, they should give it a shot with someone, if they are attracted to that person. I have been separated for about 8 months now and there is drama, but nothing major. I will never take him back, and he knows that. i have met some men on here that is in a sticky situation and will never go back to a woman that has hurt him so much.

So if the woman is non-judgemental, and is willing to take a chance on you, then she is who you are waiting for. On this site there are alot of hypocrites and they are not married but in relationships just trying to be stupid.

As for the man who does not date separated women, you may not understand that she will never go back to him, and you may be missing out on someone who is real....
 Libertine154
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 15
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:24:06 PM
bridg317,

I felt the same way too when I was separated.

It's not a matter of judging someone; its a matter of "been there, done that." Besides, people need some time and space alone to heal after a divorce. I know you think I am full of sh1t.

Things will look different in a year. I promise you. And, anyway...what's the rush? Spend some time with just the new you. :)
 atitude man
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 16
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:31:45 PM
I happen to agree with Bridg317 she says it well
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 17
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:41:55 PM
Msg 12. While divorced people have been known to reconcile, more people reconcile during the separation period than after the divorce - especially "for the sake of the kids".
 justmeandmax
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 18
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:53:29 PM
Same reason I wouldn't date a seperated woman.
First, they would most likely be in rebound mode
Second, there could be a chance of them getting back with the spouse.
Third, the spouse could cause some real drama (that happens even after divorce sometimes)
And Forth and most importantly, They're not single
 Jewlsey
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 19
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:54:08 PM
Been there, done that - no thanks! Finish things with your last soul mate before trying to find another.
Jewlsey
 Scifigeekgal
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 20
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History
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:58:04 PM
I don't date separated men because they are STILL MARRIED! Duuh!! LOL. When they get officially DIVORCED then we can talk.
 D Dixie
Joined: 1/2/2007
Msg: 21
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History
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:01:42 PM
Its because many still have a stronger pull if not completely over. Many even if they dont go back still feel safe hitting the bedroom, logical cause they are still married. Dating someone fresh out of the shoot is also risky. Its a self safety that everyone has a choice. Thanks for at least not pretending that you are legal, thats a big plus.
 *Carpe_diem*
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 22
Why women wont date separated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:10:44 PM

Sorry folks but you dont make sense to me!
You can go back to an ex if you are single or divorced too!!
Thank you!!! Sorry Dub, they seem to forget that fact.

To some, it is a personal preference and that is quite alright with me. Hypocrisy is another matter entirely.
 laderidernpink
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 23
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History
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:14:04 PM
Cindy I totally agree with you. Thats exactly why I don't date separated men- there is always the possibility they will reconcile and there is definitely a healing/grieving healing process they need to complete. Teresa
 *Carpe_diem*
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 24
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:15:44 PM

A person who is seperated is very likely to have baggage.
And it is very possible for someone that has never been married to have baggage, try again.


In fact most women have kids and so have serious baggage.
Hmmm.. so, would it be OK to say that most men who have d!cks have serious baggage as well?

Geeze... good going on the stereotypes and generalizations man..
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 25
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:24:41 PM
A. They are still considered "married".
B. Some of them have a lot of issues to work through and really need some time to themselves to adjust and get it together.
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