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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 2
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The Bam Theory....Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Both would be nice...
But I do feel even with the BAM...
You still need to go slow to build that foundation...

Sometimes the Bam can make you blind to things that may affect your relationship down the road.
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 5
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 1:36:42 AM
(Awwww. Poor Topjack - it's ok hon, we still love you.)

OT... Oh yeah, I totally believe in 'The Bam'. Felt it the second I first looked into his eyes. I literally felt as if the ground I'd stood on had shifted. Kinda scary, actually. If it tanks, it's really gonna hurt.
 comforter
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 6
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:31:21 AM
The BAM Theory is a trainwreck. Its more of lust where in you fail to understand what your whole meeting is about. Instead you succumb to your body's desire. The firecrotch, the blue eyes, the nice lips. At this moment, all what you're thinking about is: Is he/she going to take you to the bedroom and continuing whispering lies in my ears which I would love to hear at this time anyway?
You only start to utter the "If I had known" after disaster finds another victim.
I suggest that you watch the movie "Night of Terror"
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 7
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:31:25 AM
I am a firm believer in > instant or nothing.

If you know yourself - it goes way way past lust right off the bat.

When I see a Pam Anderson type - sex comes to mind and nothing else.

When I see a female that gets my attention - sex/lust don’t even cross my mind. My thinking skips that part and goes to day dreaming about just being around her.

My “relationships” - in terms of lasting are far far longer than average. They have all been an instant two way match.

Anything past a two way match .......... someone is trying to rationalize > settling.

In a real two way match - both sides know it at once. They then go about making it happen.
 comforter
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 9
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 11:34:41 AM
Romantic at heart, always , everyday. That's what you are. Nona37
 comforter
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 10
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 11:44:23 AM
The Bam theory or Love at first sight is for kids around 10-17. That's the time when hormonal influences plays a huge art in your sexual and mental development.
Its only good in the movies, even then it hurt. I like to know people better to see how comatible we are. Its aways painful when relationship ends unless it was spelt out in the first place as a mere fling. Even that the "Hey, Lady, it was nice to know you, but I got to move on...is horrible, horrible".

So BAM is an expression for I'm not really into you, I just wanted some piece...
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 13
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The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/18/2007 6:58:54 PM
BAM works. I've seen it. But it generally works, when it's BAM for one person, and the other person feels BAM as well, or is a one-person dater. If one person feels BAM, and the other person doesn't quite feel it, and is a serial dater, then it's WHAM, BAM, ON TO THE NEXT ONE. Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. It needs to be mutual, or one can be BAM, and the other is a one-person dater, for it to get anywhere.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 11/19/2007 2:25:00 PM
They do happen. They are very dangerous. But they are the best relationships when both wake up from the daze.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 16
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:55:54 AM
It is kind of dangerous. But does it happen? Yes. But here's the problem, when the Bam moment happens to a woman is one thing. When it happens to the guy, not good. Why, because the moment the guy loses control of the situation, the girl gets tired of him.
Now, all my long relationships were Bam moments to the girl.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 19
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:36:04 PM
We dont know if/when/how, we will be hit with that intense love/connection for another person. I have had this happen the first time our eyes met and it was mutual and other times it has been an attraction that grew into a great love. I have been lucky enough to recognize and experience this at different points in my life. Sometimes the time/space and person were right and other times it was not. Regardless, if you follow your heart and listen to your head, you can totally enjoy what beauty lies in being in love.
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 20
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The Bam Theory....
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:08:14 PM
I have tried the friend theory with girls that I didn't feel "BAM" about and it didn't work for me. But that is also because I was, and still am, actually looking for that "BAM". I don't think the BAM thing is lust only, but it is extremely physically based and fickle. So it is probably more dangerous, but that is conjecture on my part.
 cutensxy
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 21
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The Bam Theory....
Posted: 1/19/2008 11:36:55 PM
I find getting BAMed invigorating, exhilirating and titilating. Unfortunately the euphoria derived from getting BAMed has always been a short term high, and unless there is some common interest ie. mutual respect, common ideals, rewarding sex etc... it is unlikely a relationship will develop.

I really believe, in order for a relationship to flourish, you must be friends as well as lovers. What I'm not sure about; What should come first, the friendship or the lover's, or does it matter which comes first?
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