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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men an      Home login  
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 kay111
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 4
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Assume spells "makes and a.. out of u and me". I try not to assume things (doesn't always work), but ask questions instead. You might or might not get an honest answer, but at least you might find out why there is a lipstick in his car. Does he have a daughter, mother, aunt, co-worker he car pools with, that might have left it there? Go by your instincts and then ask a question (if it is not an innocent lipstick, at least he is a bit uncomfortable about it, one might think). Just my thought on the scenario. Same qith the cigarettes, could be true. A friend of mine had dropped her pack of cigarettes in my car at one time, and I don't smoke. It could have been misconstrued,......
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 5
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:28:00 AM
Let me see if i get this straight. The Op is "sort of seeing someone" and went out on a date with this guy anyways as a way of keeping her options open. Now she see lipstick in his car and is feeling funny about it, Why???????? What business is it of the Ops what the guy has in his car?. Even if the Op saw an open condom wrapper in the guys car, it's none of her business. One must assume that the guy had a life before going on this one date with the Op and i am guessing that his life will continue even after said date.

One date does not a relationship make, The guy did not ask you about things in your car, what's in his is none of your business. You like himand want to go on another date fine, But keep your nose out of who else he might be dating until you get to the point where you have some kind of exclusive talk.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 6
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:29:05 AM
I once gave my 21 year-old niece a ride to pick-up her car. She forgot a lip-liner in my car and being a tall girl, had the seat moved back. My girlfriend at the time was sure I was having an affair. All the signs of being a guy with "a significant other" are there, but in fairness I'd ask!
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 7
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:33:36 AM
"When women stop closing their eyes to all the warning signs just cause the guy is rich, or good looking or whatever, we would have alot less broken hearts"

WTF is that about, it was just one damn date, what warning signs are you talking about???????? The Op herself is already seeing someone else, should the guy see that as a huge red flag and not date her anymore?.

If the Op thinks it's ok to keep her options open and multi-date, why in the world should she be bothered if the person she is dating, might be dating someone else.

Talk about the Pot being put off by the kettle being black.


WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP TELLING THE OP TO ASK..... IT'S NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS WHOS LIPSTICK IS IN THE GUYS CAR. They only went out on one date people, what gives her the right to ask him anything about who else he may or may not be dating..... Did the Op tell him about this other guy she was seeing?????? I doubt that very much. If i am keeping my option open i should not be upset if the person i am dating is also doing the same thing.
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 11
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:21:29 AM
I'd ask him; I don't know about you, but I can sit around all day long making shit up in my head, that, by the end of the day, seems like the truth to me.

Then I go home mad over some imagined slight, fight with that wonderful man, and it's all cause I didn't just TALK to him before I started making shit up in my head.

By the way, god bless you Scotty for puttin up with my spasticity...

Fry
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:23:23 AM

Truth be told, I'm sort of seeing someone anyhow right now. Not seriously, but I am.
I wanted to keep my options open 'cause the last guy I dated I found out was actually seeing me on the side keeping it from his FIANCE'.


I think you have a big double standard. In the one side you are all paranoid about the lipstick and stuff, and in the other you are seeing other people. My advice, let it be, and if you go out with this guy again. Grab the whatever is from the other woman, smile at him, and ask, "do you wear it often." That way there's no pressure and if he tells you he tells you and if he doesn't, well you haven't offered you truth either.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:28:07 AM

Now, the reason why I brought this up, IS....I don't want to be in a situation where I am seeing someone who HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER. That's different from what I have with the other guy I'm seeing. I'm not committed. We're not exclusive. BUT I don't want to be someone's 'hollaback girl' or girl 'on the side'.


Still, double standard. You know how you are in your relationship. What if the guy told you, that yes he is going out with somebody else as well, nothing serious. Would you still go out with him?
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 16
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:23:50 AM
Hm, well, I don't wear a lot of make-up, myself, but I have dated a few men who do. It doesn't bother me in the least. I actually LIKE eyeliner on a man! I blame Adam Ant.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 18
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:33:23 AM
Did you ever think maybe its his lipliner- hey some crazy shit has happened.

Well truthfully- he was probably using either his wifes or his girlfriends
SUV- thats why her lipliner and her smokes were there. You see someone
and he sees someone- it all comes out in the wash.
It obviously did not bother you as you were into the kiss- so, yeah
another thread.

curlygrl~
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 19
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:13:54 AM
Since enough have been said about the double standard here, I would like to mention something interesting, and that is how, women have a way of marking what they consider their territory and how men, usually are clueless about this things, until another woman finds the one earring, or the lip liner, or the panties, or the clasp and so on. Now, is this done on purpose? Or done at a subconscious level? Men, have this happened to you? Women, what to you think?
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 21
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:32:19 AM
He is embracing his feminine side. He also wears bras and panties and thigh-high stockings. So far, he hasn't found anyone who will accept the fact that he's that way. He's be most flattered if you offered to do his cosmetics for a private photo session. A lot of babes just can't handle that. He's not a latent queer, by the way. He just really, really loves women and feminine things. Really. Love, Titus
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 23
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:23:53 AM
I'd just forget you ever saw it.

I like to turn it around, what if you spilled your purse and a condom fell out? What would you think if he was asking you about it? Just a thought.

If you do continue to see him and get to know him (this was the first time you met) and you do decide to be exclusive then I'd bet something would come out in conversation that would give the answer without even having to ask.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 24
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:31:10 AM
You are overreacting.

It was a first date. You also say you are "sort of seeing" someone. Doesnt he have the right to maybe be doing the same?

I assume he has dated as well...Maybe his last date left it. Last week, Last month, last year. Maybe it fell out of a purse last night, last week, last year and he just found it...

Maybe it belonged to a sister, daughter, mother....

I'd be curious,but its really none of your business. Enjoy the dates.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:22:47 PM
I am with Kat on this one.......nice novel but the question is why even worry about it?

I have had women in my cars, on my Harley, over to my house and yes, in my bedroom and there were things around from past relationships still there......and you point is?

If we are exclusive and in a relationship, then all those things get put away or trashed as needed, but until then, many things were gifts, or essentials left there to make it easier when over at my place, or in my car or on the back of my bike.

None of this is to flaunt anything or to let you know that others are in the picture, but more of an over sight that someone else may have been at one time, and they have not been removed yet. This is just a first date, not a commitment to exclusivity, or a player in any fashion.

Just my opinion......
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 2:06:45 PM

NOT = 'Oh, you're doing a double standard" or "Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black"...I asked for thoughts, opinions and advice on THE LIPSTICK IN THE TRUCK...


You could have spared us of the novel, and have simply asked. But quite frankly you set yourself up for this kind of response.
 IThought UWereAHandpuppet
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 40
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 12:38:57 PM
Just make sure he does not wear the same shoe size as you! I hate when that happens!
 barry1817
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 44
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:19:49 PM
You are sort of seeing another person and have problems that he might also be sort of seeing somebody else.

Seems to be an unrealistic expectation that he must not be seeing anybody but you can be sorta seeing others.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 45
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:23:23 PM

This may be a no brainer to many of you. I'm going to try and keep it brief


GAWD!!!...keeping it brief would have been..
"went on a date with a guy..got in his vehicle and saw a womans lipliner there...what should I think??"

to which I would have replied....WHY DIDNT YOU ASK HIMABOUT IT!!!

Could have been his sisters, his moms, his daughters best friends room mates dog walker.......or left from a date he had with someone...

and since you are already"kinda" seeing someone else anyway........why would you care if he was too?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 46
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:41:03 PM
Sheesh, people!
OK you had one date with the guy and saw a lipstick or whatever. So? I will suggest that you file that information away, and if you continue to see this man, keep in mind that though there MAY very well be a rational explanation, that it belonged to someone either family or platonic associated, lipstick is still not routine "guy stuff". Given the number of personal male acquaintances I've seen of late dye their hair, it may well be that males using cosmetics will also become a standard procedure.
Given the higher mobility of the dating populace, what with the internet and the ease of jumping on the Xway and hitting the bars in a town 40 miles away, meeting/dating someone who has a spouse or SO is simply an inherent risk. If that's unacceptable, people,get the fork OFF the internet and only date people who live in YOUR neighborhood and that you've known all your life. Or don't date at all. As for the OP also having dated or spent time with another man, so freakin what? As long as she hasn't promised exclusivity, why is it wrong for her to be getting to know a couple of different men?
Or is it a "whaa, she has 2 men interested and I have no men interested,it's not fair so I'm gonna raise hell about it"?
OP, again, I would certainly NOT call it a red flag but it is kind of noteworthy.
Cindy O
 funnychk
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 47
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:36:28 PM
"I'm going to try to keep it brief"......................doesn't seem like you tried to hard there!

Time after time people go on and on and on about something that can be summed up in a few sentences. What gives?
 funnychk
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 48
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:38:00 PM
Rian, That was an awesome post!! couldn't have put it any better myself!

Power to you!
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 51
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:24:42 PM
Hmmmm Maybe you should have asked about it! Maybe hes like me and has 2 teenage daughters. I know for a fact right now there is ear rings and lord knows what else in my SUV LOL
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 52
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:32:47 PM
What I would have done was picked it up, looked at it and asked "This yours?" just to see his reaction. Understand, if you actually do something like this,you must keep a straight face and deadpan expression,as if it was a perfectly rational topic of conversation. No letting YOUR expression tip him off as to whether there is a WRONG answer.
Of course I don't let myself get all wound up about a guy until he shows himself to be WORTH getting wound up about. I pretty much always keep in the back of my mind the possibility that the guy might be a cheater, a gameplayer, or just plain lying about his life. I don't mean to imply that I EXPECT that, far from it!just that I keep the possibility in mind. Sort of an optimistic cynicism I guess...
Cindy O
 Goodnight MoonFish
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 55
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:38:53 PM
AHHHHHHHH!

Plain and simple. In the Queen's English.

Ask him about it.

I cannot for the life of me understand when people just do not come out and ask the questions that need asking. No wonder there is a huge multi-million dollar industry based on improving communication between men and women.

Without making a big deal over it, you could have just casually asked if the lipliner belonged to somebody close to him.

Done and Done. No wondering or guessing who it belongs to. Geez
 Hot Buttered Soul
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 60
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:36:16 PM
I love how people who are dating are never to have friends or contact with people of the opposite sex. The lipstick could've come from anyone.. Doesn't necessarily mean that other person was anymore invold than you are. Does the controlling, insecure, jealousy never end?

And by the way.. This was a first date right? What right have you to say about any aspect of his life or whom he spends it with. Perhaps you should spend a little more time entertaining yourself, then you wouldn't be bothered things about what everyone else is doing.

And you're seeing someone to 'keep your options open' Let me give you advice.. if you're going to play around.. tend your own business, you haven't earned the right to infringe on others business.
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