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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How long does it take to get over a relationship?      Home login  
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 Jebby16
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 2
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Sounds like the love bug bit you pretty hard on the ass. I've been in a similar situation and can relate to what you're going through. It seems like you may have latched on pretty hard but oh well, you're only human and love can cloud your vision...

It's obvious you just wants to be friends. Now you're like "one of the girls" to her if she's just joking and hanging at the mall.

You can't really blame her for what's happened. You're both young and finding your way. You both are just on different tracks.

I believe what's making this more difficult for you is the constant contact you have with her. You need to stop texting her. Don't call her. Minimize your contact with her. It's the only way you're going to get over her faster.

Years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend, I was in the same boat you're in. I quit my job ( I had just finished school the timing couldn't have been better). I didn't see her for like six months. Very difficult time for me but I was focused on my new job and starting over.

A mutual friend of ours called me for lunch and my ex was there. I felt all giddy and stupid at first but realized that my feelings weren't really there anymore. I had moved on without even really realizing.

Take time off from her. Don't see, text, email, or talk to her. Get her out of your life. This isn't forever....but just for a while until you've gotten over it. Good luck.

ok, I need a
 JLarsson
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 3
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2007 3:12:15 AM
These things happen. Quiting that job, if it is just a job might not be the worst thing for you. Don't mess up your life though. Find something better first. It is easy to mess up that first great relationship. You want it so bad that you sqeeze it until it dies. It's hard to find the right bounderies. As far as getting over it. I hope never. When your old and wrinkled and have grand kids to pester you'll always have x. That girl you thought was so great until you met the one that was so much greater, and the one that was the one after that. Give or take a dozen. Only a few really lucky saps get it right the first time. So take heart. Your not alone out there.

joe
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 7
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2007 9:42:00 AM
Depends on the relationship. If you are really in love, awhile.
 Sweet J-me Baby
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 8
How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2007 12:24:38 PM
You're right, it does depend on the relationship. For both of my long-term relationships, one ended on a sour note, the other one ended because of his job taking him out of the country with little hope that he would come back, but we both very much still loved each other.

From the time these relationships ended to the time I actually felt like dating and being in another relationship was a solid two years for both. I needed time to first heal, then to rediscover myself and just spend time enjoying life without getting into another serious relationship.

I have friends who can end one relationship and start dating others right away. I am not like that at all. Only once I can truly give my heart to somebody else, do I even try getting out there again and seeing other people.
 babs16
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 9
How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2007 3:03:54 PM
Hi
Just thought I would comment. You are not alone don't feel bad, and everyone is different. You need to mourn as long as it takes you, becauuse it is a legitimate loss. I have been broken up with my last relationship for 8 months now, and I still wake up every morning and think about him. With time, I have gotten better and am not so depressed anymore, but he is still in my thoughts ver often. Hope it doesn't take you as long as it is taking me, b ut there is no right or wrong amount of time, some people for more deeply than others. Good luck, just thought I would share.


Babs
 Who.Me
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 14
How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2007 7:58:15 AM
I sure can relate...it took me almost 2 years to get over my ex....I find there really isn't anything you can do to hurry the healing process...it just takes time.

Finding someone new is not the right thing to do, how can you offer yourself to someone if you're in love with another?
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 15
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2007 8:25:35 AM
AS a rule, I understand one month alone, per year of involvement, to recover from the relational distress associated with a breakup, give or take, depending on the level of frustration or anxiety.
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 16
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2007 8:47:20 AM
Im really surprised this hasnt come up. There is a old saying "Dont dip your pen in company ink!" Dating somebody you work with almost always results in big problems. You didnt really say if you work directly with her or not but I would limit contact to work only issues! Outside of that have no contact of any kind with her!
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 17
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How long does it take to get over a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2007 9:08:39 AM
A second thing to consider I should have added to my original post is to make sure your you concentrate on your job! I owned a business for 20 years and I actually fired one not because of a relationship with a co-worker, but for performance issues that no doubt the underlying cause of the issues was the on again off again relationship with the co-worker.
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