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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > stay if sex is bad?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 saltyd0g
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 6
stay if sex is bad?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
To stay or go is a personal choice. Would you really want a complete stranger to tell you what to do?

If I wasn't inspried, I (personally) leave as it's not worth the effort. However, if you're motivated, in love, and have patience, then tell her that the sex was trully crap and needs lots of improvement. Perhaps she just been a wall flower and she's been waiting for the love of her life to bring her alive.
 MGA63
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 7
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:13:05 PM
If you're with someone you truly care about, and the sex is bad, you should look at two things....

1. Are you sure it's not you! Are you meeting his/her needs? Have you asked your partner what they like, what turns them on...
Have you taken time to "warm-up" your partner, most women need some pre-cursor to sex...I think it's called FOREPLAY, not sure...
SEX IS MORE THAN INTERCOURSE !!!!! Did you know this?
2. Just how emotionally connected are you? There is plenty of help out there for sexually disfunctional relationships... If you DO care, you'll take as much time as necessary to connect with him/her physically as well as emotionally...

As for the comments: "It's not worth the effort/hassle", this type of remark simply identifies people that have never enjoyed sex as anything other than a physical act (and probably a 30 second one at that). It is a very shallow and immature view point..

...it takes all types to make the world go round I guess..
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 10
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:29:24 PM
Bad sex? Nope. Had enough of that while I was married. My priorities now require some sort of excitement in that department. JMO
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 19
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/9/2007 1:06:28 AM
Most times things have to click to have great sex.... if the sex was bad...it can take a few times to learn your partner's body and what they like...stay/go...depends on how well you click otherwise and how much you like them as a person/partner...technique can always be improved upon and will also naturally with time with the same person...it is in and also the out of bed that you need to be concerned with...

Does size matter? Of course it does but so does technique! Great sex happens in the mind before between the sheets.

Usually if one person thinks the sex is bad the other does as well so maybe talk to her about it...find out what she likes and let her know what you like.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 21
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:46:45 AM
Yes.
But, it had better get better or it wont be for long.
 saltyd0g
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 34
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/10/2007 1:40:32 PM
As for the comments: "It's not worth the effort/hassle", this type of remark simply identifies people that have never enjoyed sex as anything other than a physical act (and probably a 30 second one at that). It is a very shallow and immature view point..


Really? So, you'd stay in a relationship solely based on the fact that the sex is bad?

Now if you love, care about your partner, then your comment makes sense. However, there's nothing wrong with asking yourself if you love/care about your partner enough to make the effort. If your heart is not in it, then no amount of effort is going to make the sex good.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 37
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/10/2007 4:52:11 PM
Naaah,. you can re-train them.. Bad sex, usually comes from "bad teachers" Sex, the physical act, is merely 20% of the "total" sexual picture. when you take the mind, wire it through the soul, it becomes amplified many fold. it can then be channeled though any "standard plumbing" with great intensity. The trouble is, 70% of the populus is QUITE content with the 20% they glean from basic organ contact, and never strive to better themselves, or just plain don't know or can concieve that there's anything more..
The problem with most men is they think that hopping on and doing their version of Clarence Carter's song "Strokin" is going to make them ooOOOOoh SooOOOOOo memorable. Then, afterwards, they look at their partner and say "how was that, baby?"
If the answer is "well, that was pretty good,.. I almost came!" they think they've done great! Pity of that scenerio is.. most women think it actually WAS good...
You can usually ask a woman how many times she's climaxed in one sexual event, and the answer is normally 1-5. If you tell them it could be 20X that, they laugh and call you nuts, or start talking toys. But the ones that actually DO experience that, keep their mouths shut, because they don't want a line around the block waiting to have at their man as soon as they leave the house!
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 40
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:54:23 AM
Size- 5 or 6inches works for me. I don't like real big ones or very little ones. Foreplay the way your partner likes is very important. For a girl, she should have an "O" before pentration and then more during, because, most of us ladies are multi orgasmic. I am. I just had only 30 "O" s with my toys, usually its 40. I should enter this in the guiness book of records. It is very sad a beautiful girl like me, has no real man to share her sexually with and more.
Now the main subject. I am surprise how many ladies were not happy sexually happy when married. I was not either. My ex husband got Parkinson, the desease Michael J. Fox has our first year of marriage. He was 15 years older than me. It was the medication, not him, but he managed to have sex at least 3 times a week, for 10 years, up to our last month together. We used, pumps, herbs, vigra and shots. No the shots don't hurt he said. I learn how to do this in a doctors office. The pump worked best. The last month, we were together , sex didn't work and our marriage ended. Sex is extremely important to me and I really miss sex. Then my live in boyfriend of 5 years and I had a good sex life until he got into porn and cam girls and jerking off and our relationship died and he left to see other girls. The other girls were $1.99 and $2.99 a minute for him to jerk off on cam. He is on this site. A real loser. He has 69 in his user name. definely something me and him ever did or ever wanted to do. I guess he got spoiled by all your so call ladies who do ugh oral.
Sometimes, a couple don't have sexual chemistry. This is why I do horoscopes to determine this. No chemistry, and it is not likely to work . If their is chemisrty, then you must talk to your partner and find out what they like. This is why I am so up front and to out there with what I want. Because I know what works for me and what does not work.
NO, I would not stay if sex is bad or not happening at all, because that is just as bad as being single, where sex is bad and/ or not happening at all.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 41
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/11/2007 6:27:26 AM
BrightSideOfLife, yeah, I make myself laugh, especially with my last remark, the last sentence. I have been on pay per view tv, with my comedy, completely done at the moment and not really trying, and I get on 30 minute pay per view comedy tv,show. No pay for that. Some day and maybe some day a club near you. Scarey. Oh, enjoy some laughter about my unhappy life.
 nameismarcus
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 43
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/11/2007 8:22:43 PM
I'd have no problem staying if everything else was going great. There's more to a relationship than just sex. If you loved eating at McDonalds except for the mcgriddle would you stop eating there because you didn't like that one item?
 stephaniezowie
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 45
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:39:52 AM
i did a double take when i read that question.
wtf
how many ways can i define the word
NO
hell no
don't stay with bad sex.
what is wrong with you????
 simplicity42
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 53
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:54:59 PM
I had this problem before, and I didn't handle it very well. Instead of communicating, and telling him what was wrong, I said nothing and never talked to him again. He would call and want to spend time and hang out, but, I always had an excuse. The sex was so bad, I don't think there's nothing I could have said, that he could do to make it better, and I think that when your in you 40's you should kinda know certain things.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 69
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:26:24 AM
Good love-making is like 'cementing' relationship.
 PureLogic
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 75
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:32:51 PM

My last relationship (marriage) was this way and lasted 10 years. I tried and tried. The man claimed he had no sexual fantasies, or none he wanted to share, he never reciprocated oral, and his idea of sex was laying me on my stomach, doing the deed, getting off and going to do something or just going to sleep.
I tried asking him to watch porn, talk about things he liked sexually, anything! And it was a no go. Heaven forbid you catch him mastubating. *gasp* It was just something you didn't talk about.


Just wondering, if things were so bad...why'd you MARRY him?
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 83
stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:57:36 AM
I was in a mariage once in which the passion fizzled after some ED problems.
I think I could have made it work if he had tried to find alternative ways to please me, and kept up intimacy outside the bedroom.... but it didn't work out that way, and we divorced.

If it's just a matter of size, OP? If you are a communicative and creative person and he is as well, size shouldn't be an issue at all to your getting your fulfillment.
 beerchen
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 84
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stay if sex is bad?
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:16:16 AM
honey, been there, tried that.

let's just hold our thumbs up like you are givin ' thumbs up '. that was it. And stuck in the same position ( me on top) always... nah! And as I like to call it needed some help from the lil blue pill. ( nothing wrong if you at least try to do something about it)

I think i had found a mutilation of a sachsquash , who needed some major help in being ok with their emotions.
nope, never again!


Disclaimer: Not all men are left in the ironage stage. Therefore i applaud all gents who really give it their all . ED happens, and there are various reasons. But, if you notice that your gal is not getting what she needs.. please do seek help. For the population who could be my parent , kudos! Really.
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