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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > “Viewed me” link on POF      Home login  
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 dingolover
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 8
“Viewed me” link on POFPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I check my "viewed me" link. I have messaged women who have viewed me. Gotten good response. Many women use it in hope that you will email them. Several have told me so. Had a few dates because im not afraid to message them. But lots of women are afraid to make first contact.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 15
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:51:46 PM
I frequently look at the viewed me link but never write anyone anymore because more often than not my messages go read/deleted without so much as a hello or anything. So I just figure if she's viwed me and if she thinks I'm worth talking to or getting to know she'll write me. At least that way the message won't get "read/deleted" as I reply to ALL of my messages.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 23
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:41:56 PM
I've seen it as well. There have been a few males who have 'viewed me' and never sent an email. I understand no one likes rejection, but in my mind, I feel if they view me, and don't even say hello, then they are not interested. Although this may not be the truth at all, and he may be afraid to hurt his pride, it ends up working against his advantage.

I sure wish the guys would just email and strike up a conversation, if they are interested. I've definitely taken the time in my profile, to leave them with Plenty of things to talk about. Something more than just a one liner, or a 'you look hot' message, which usually gets them deleted...

Still something I'll probably never understand...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 isTHISuserNametaken
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 25
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:06:41 PM
I look at a lot of profiles, and yes sometimes just to get some more insight from it due to what they posted in a forum. And from checking the "viewed me" link, I know many people are checking out my profile due to something I wrote.
As far as "fishing" goes, If I see that someone in my area has viewed me, then I take a look at their profile too, But no matter how I decide which profile to look at, I only respond to the ones that I honestly think would be a good match for me. But I figure if they "viewed me" already, there may be some interest there, on their part too, thus making it more likely that they will respond. And I did go out with one woman who responded to me, 'cause she saw that I had viewed her, but not responded yet. It was actually a pretty good first and last date! (long story - longer than the "relationship")
 luckymare
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 28
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/14/2007 9:10:14 AM
I always check the viewed me --- sometimes it is true ---they are just checking you out----then again are times that the guy would like you to make the First Move ----that& when someone makes me their favorite ----for curiosity sake I check them out ---if there is any interest on my part ---I send an email ----or put them on my fav list ---Ya know "Nothing Ventured/Nothing Gained Rule Applies Here ----What do you have to lose by being the first to contact someone ----Is that not why we are all here ---To make contact with others for our personal reasons of whether for friends/dating whatever. So lose the negative attitude & don't think the worst of those who view you.
 AwesomeNerd9
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 29
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:07:16 AM
I'm a big fan of the "viewed me" link. Like a lot of guys on here, I tend to use it as an indication of whether a girl may be interested or not. Most of friends are female, and I only know one that will take the initiative and talk to a guy she's interested in (IRL). The rest will flirt, flirt and flirt more until either she decides he's not interested or he asks her out. It'd be great if girls would add guys to their favorites list to flirt, but sadly, few do (at least few add me...) In that case I rely on the 'viewed me' to give me some sort of indication. Obviously, there will be that share of women who are no longer attracted after they read my profile for whatever reason, but it's useful to help narrow down the choices.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 36
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/15/2007 11:34:15 PM
Okay, I admit I'm pretty old fashioned, but experience has taught me that things work out much better for all involved if men make the initial email, and I don't. In this online environment, if I email a guy and he's not really that interested, there is a very good chance that he'll still welcome the interaction to feed his ego, and milk the whole thing for attention. I've been on what I thought was going to be a first "date" only to realize that this is what was happening. The guy will even initiate it by suggesting meeting up in person, but he won't actually be trying to date for real since he will have just freshly broken up with someone and just want to go on lots of dates to make themselves feel good, or vent about their ex or whatever. And sometimes he won't even fricken' pay for my coffee (at the start of the meet up), just to make sure I understand that they aren't that interested in me. Things would have been a lot easier if they had made that clear before I took the trouble to meet them in person. Seriously, I actually have had guys ask me to coffee and then had us split the cost for it at the cashier. Even if you're not attracted to the girl, that is just not classy.

So at least if the guy makes the first email, I know that he's not just trying to be a "nice guy," or isn't just flattered by the attention, or isn't just trying to just get a booty call out of the interaction and is actually interested. Women are different, so there is less risk of this problem with the reverse. Very rarely will a girl go out with a guy that she's not interested in just to be "nice" or to avoid saying no. If she agrees to meet in person, there is usually at least a little bit of interest there.

So back on topic, I figure that if a man has "viewed me" and has not bothered to email, then it's just an indication that he isn't interested. Therefore, I find it the opposite of flattering, because something in my profile turned them off (or they just clicked on my picture for some other reason in the first place). I would not email someone who has viewed me and not emailed me. I may email a man or put a man on my favourites who hasn't been on my viewed me list, just to make sure that they have a chance to see my profile though. If there really are men who view but are too shy to make the first move or too afraid of rejection (and I'm starting to think there actually are some, from some of the people I've talked to), it's not a big loss to me, because they're not really my type anyway. I am much more attracted to the bolder type.
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 37
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/16/2007 12:15:44 AM
cowtrucker said:

I sure wish the guys would just email and strike up a conversation, if they are interested. I've definitely taken the time in my profile, to leave them with Plenty of things to talk about. Something more than just a one liner, or a 'you look hot' message, which usually gets them deleted...


The problem is the guy can't just send you a well-written email and start a conversation. He has to send well-written emails to 10-20 women in hopes that one of them will want to converse. Many have decided that it's just not worth the effort. That's why you get "you look hot" (low effort) and dead air (no effort).
 debbywebby32
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 42
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:28:41 PM
i look for many reasons, they may have added a new photo, or updated there profile. after viewing a profile from an old contact that i emailed back n forth a few times and i decided it wasent worth following, he emailed me again and i said...havent we been done this road before??? his response was then stop looking at me . needless to say he has blocked me so i wont be caught looking at him
 northernmiss
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 44
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/17/2007 9:24:57 PM

One of these days someone is going to hit that viewed me button and its going to be Jerry Springer or Dr Phil, what then?


that is easy...ya message them, meet them, dig up all kinds of dirt, then write a book, do the talk show circuit and retire.

Viewed me is just another tool, but users will always try to "game" the system.
 Black_Hockey_Guy
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 48
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:26:42 AM
Definitely find the "viewed me" link useful. I put a lot of thought into what I wrote in my profile and if someone has viewed me, hopefully they will have actually read it. If I read theirs/their forum posts and there actually are quite a few common interests/attitudes, I'm a LOT more likley to contact them than by making a "cold call". If I can see that there really isn't a good match, then I don't contact them...no harm no foul.

As far as ladies making the first contact.....HELLO...it's 2007...the days of men ALWAYS having to initiate contact goes back to the dinosaur days of my Mom's generation and the idea of being "courted" and "chased" which (at least if you really don't know the person...which is the case on on-line dating...is just a game). I definitely have a romantic streak & have no problem "courting" (for lack of a better word) someone I've actually MET in person and am genuinely are interested in, but I'm not going to play games (or waste someone's time) if they are essentially still almost a total stranger. Besides, I honestly and strongly believe that you have to have a friendship before you can have anything else, IMO

Also in regard to women making the first contact, I prefer women who have some independence, backbone, and are not afraid to say what's on their mind or go after what they like. So I have absolutely no problem with women contacting me (in fact it's almost a plus) as long as they have taken the time to actually read my profile and not just look at the pic.

Just my .02 cents...

Dave aka BHG
 BKLYNBOY1
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 50
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:51:20 AM
we are so shy it would be nice for a change if a woman made first contact
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 51
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/18/2007 11:37:53 AM
I would think that something in the main picture got their attention. Once having had a closer look and maybe some other info in the profile ... yep, they take two steps backwards. Nothing wrong with that, everyone's choice, just like window-shopping, yet not purchasing.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 53
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/19/2007 4:58:40 PM
Ya know Ms Artistic that "viewed me" section is a GREAT way to at least say hello----I've done it numerous times. There's no harm in paying a compliment or if they truly interest you see if they'd like to chat or email a bit with you.

There's no one reason for anyone viewing anothers profile but if you like who's checked you 0ut it doesn't hurt to at least make an effort.
 ZooteeNyc
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 57
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/22/2007 7:48:40 PM
Hi,
I don't think because someone clicks on your profile they are automatically interested..like many have said they may check your profile and realize that there is not much in common or changed their mind. I also found myself checking the same guy out over and over again, because he keeps changing his picture or I just didn’t remember I checked him out the week before.

I personally believe if a guy is interested he would just send a short message. If they can't get past saying "Hi", then I don't think we would hit it off anyways.

I believe the guys in the very first row are people who have checked you out in the PAST, but are online now. The photos below are people who have just checked you out, starting with the most recent, but that doesn't mean they are not online they may still be online.

Well, hoped that helped....
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 63
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:52:37 PM
I do tend to check it, personally. Partly out of curiosity, partly to see if maybe there might be some sort of connection with the people who are looking at my profile, if I feel there might be, I'll send a basic message. Though I must say that so far there have only been a few that I've felt there might be any sort of connection, and none have responded to my messages, sometimes "Read", sometimes "Unread/Deleted", but most of the times "Read/Deleted". Rejection isn't easy to deal with, even when you've dealt with it more than success, but I keep on.

Actually, the method I use for people who view me is the same for the people who I view first as well.
 iamhal9000
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 67
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:12:50 AM
Do I use it? Only to see if anyone ever looks at my profile, or if it's worth keeping on here...
 exrescue
Joined: 10/24/2007
Msg: 68
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:37:43 AM
well because most of the time women are looking for that ken doll type,rich and all that stuff and if dont fit that mold then ,they just dont read or just read and deleat
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 69
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:05:06 AM
I do look at the viewed me,but like several have said it could be for many different reasons. One Issue I have with not only it but online dating sites in general is I live in a small town and the biggest percentage of them live too far away. Even if I am interested I dont bother to contact them.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 70
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:53:36 AM
The “Viewed me” link on POF is an IQ Test. Nothing less. Nothing more.



 quo_vadis
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 71
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:34:04 PM
original poster,
regarding the viewed me feature, i have mine set to notify others if i have looked at their profile. i see no reason to hide it. moreover, i can recall several instances where i have viewed the profile of a woman who, through all outward appearances seemed attractive, wellgroomed and cultured, only to find a profile with absolutely no substantive content in it. e.g. "i will fill this out later" or "i like to have fun, looking around, lets see what happens" and so on. i like giving them the benefit of the doubt that they are not the type to put zero effort into their interpersonal interactions, and if they like the cut of my picture, and check me out, perhaps they might find something in my profile that interests them enough to start a conversation. that said, if she is attractive enough, she will likely have more visitors to her profile than she could ever speak to. and if they are truly too lazy to put any effort into dating but would rather place all the responsibility on my shoulders, i wouldnt be happy in their company anyway. conversations, dating, and life with another person is a two-way street, and both sides must contribute their share.
to those ladies with the type of profile i am describing who may be reading this message, i would suggest taking a moment and filling yours out. you might be delighted at how doing so will improve the quality of messages you receive, unless you prefer shallow or confused comments. thanks and good luck.
 bigjim391
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 73
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 3/20/2008 9:21:07 AM
Excellent question/topic!

In reading the varied responses, I find it quite interesting how different people understand the WHO VIEWED ME function differently.

IMHO, if you look at it in its basic form, as some have already stated, WHO VIEWED ME is meaningless in and of itself. The act of VIEWING A PROFILE is not any overt or covert, or any other kind of, "message" to the profile owner. Since, the only way to see if you may be interested in a person is to click their pic or screenname link and read their profile, why would this act alone have any significance??

In my style, the act of adding a profile to my FAVORITES is an overt act of interest, by me, in the profile owner. If the profile owner interprets this act as intended by me, they then evaluate any interest on their own part in me by viewing my profile and then adding ME to their FAVORITES or, of course, perhaps sending me a message. If the interest is not mutual, they would move on, or in some cases, perhaps REMOVE ME from their WHO ADDED YOU list. This, of course, plainly sends the "I'm not interested" message, which many people, men or women, are reluctant to state outright.

My own personal style is to wait for the woman of interest to send me a message. For me, this tells me something about that woman, that I find attractive . . . she is aggressive. She goes for what she wants. This is the type of woman I am personally interested in . . . and I am certainly willing to take it from there.

I have read numerous opinions by others here asking why someone would add them to their favorites list, but not send a message. I say, they just DID send you a message. If you want to carry the interest to the next level, without being so bold as to initiate a message exchange, simply ADD THEM to YOUR favorites list. Now you have sent THEM a message back! That message is "The door is open" . . . !!

Many people here, men or women, do not have the time to answer personally, all the messages to them. Some may have the time, but choose not to send back " not interested" messages. These other techniques are "messages" in and of themselves, and are certainly worthy alternatives, should you wish to utilize them.
 jon525
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 75
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 3/20/2008 9:48:58 AM
Well Beautiful,
I work it both ways sometimes.
I like to say hi and chat with you for a while.
Sometimes I just see who is looking at me and say hi back.
What's interesting to me is how many woman won't say hi back.
Jon
 veloise
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 76
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 3/20/2008 10:10:40 AM
In my experience, the "viewed me" link is one of the best parts of this site. (Others use that as a price point.)

If someone new views me, I return the favor. And if his profile seems worthwhile, I'll say hello. (Gotta work on this shyness problem.)

Meeting my first POF'er candidate this weekend, all because of the above process.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 77
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“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 3/20/2008 11:19:43 AM
msg #5: "This option is a carrot to get the bunny hopping...turn it OFF.."

Forgive my ignorance....I guess I'm still a minnow....So if you turn this off, you can view profiles and the person viewed will be none the wiser? Like peeking through a crack in their window blinds rather than opening the front door to see whose there?


~ds~
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