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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > What do you tell the kids?      Home login  
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 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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What do you tell the kids?Page 1 of 1    
I guess it depends on whether the child is a boy or girl or whether you have primed the kid for this conversation. The man I was with for the better part of a year had concerns in this area but where we started having a problem was his failure to grasp that he had to start talking to his daughter, 8 at the time, about having a relationship before he could in any way spring me on her, and he was just never ready to do that, he didn't want to deal with it.

Without knowing what your relationship with the child is, it is difficult to give you advice, i.e. sit and have a chat about mommy dating. Have you dated before? Did you ask your child whether he/she liked the X? We need a great deal more information about your child and your situation before we can comment.

As far as your guy, the 7-year-old will eventually get over it and don't think the 10-year-old is jazzed just because he hasn't said anything. This is hard for kids because they are kids and they do not want to share, period, no matter how old, or even if they like the SO. And saying that it isn't going to happen is not too bright either, because if you were to get married, he just told one hell of a whopper.

So, to answer your question, you could have "a talk," you could go out to dinner or some type of other short outing and introduce him as a friend, 'this is Bill he is going to go to dinner with us,' then if he/she asks, you can tell the child that you are dating. Wouldn't even say the word boyfriend for quite a while.

I just can't help wondering after reading thread after thread on this and similar/related topics why dating is so different from the other relationships we bring into our kids' lives. If you had met a new girlfriend at work, would you be like 'now Tommy, I met this new lady at work, her name is Marcia, she is now my friend and I surely do hope you will like her.' Maybe if we were a little more natural about the whole dating process the kids would be too.
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