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 AUTHOR
Your ExPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
no, cause it will do you no good.

all your doing, is transfering you anger and hate and bad feelings onto them.
this leads to a circle.
you piss them off, later they think its ok to dump all thier crappyness onto you, and ruin your day.

it always comes back to you.

its best to realize, its just over... so move on.
the past is done, so leave it as it is. doesnt matter what happend, its done.
just move on.

eventually, everything that felt so important, that moment you wanted to dump all your crap onto them...
will seem kinda "distant", like "why did I ever feel that way".
till some day, its just gone.
so let it go.
 gigigrongbell
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 9
Your Ex
Posted: 12/16/2007 8:09:47 PM
Verzen - She was probably the dignified one in the exchange then. How does that feel?
 gigigrongbell
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 12
Your Ex
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:17:07 PM
The OP poses a good question. Should you say what you feel?

Once the relationship is over, you need to move past the feelings. Time for healing and regrouping. Once that has happened, our exes should not be able to get to us the way they did when we still had an emotional investment in them.

It's a very classy person that does not engage their ex in yelling or personal attacks. I have several friends who steam from their ears because they cannot elicit bad behaviour from their exes. Makes them mad as hell.

I do understand your anger, but those issues are in the past, the time to do something about them was then, not now.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Your Ex
Posted: 12/16/2007 10:59:44 PM
You usually should not say what you really feel to your ex. It often does neither of you any good and perpetuates the negative stuff between you. I'm generally a well-mannered and even-keeled person... every once in a while, if they aren't getting something, I'll let it rip. But it will be strategic, for a purpose, not a moment where I "lost it".

But you should move that energy. I am a huge believer in saying out loud (lol, sometimes VERY loud) all of the mean, nasty, completely unevolved, totally unfair and definitely non-pc "stuff" I am feeling... but NOT to the person. I pick an object and tell it like it is. Very therapeutic and does not hurt my ex-relationship. (RegalRose... I don't get headaches or stomach aches when I do this)
 Lfsabch
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 17
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History
Your Ex
Posted: 12/16/2007 11:52:42 PM
i went with the say what you feel group, and sure it totally burned and obliterated any bridge between us but in the end thats what i wanted, that way it would sway her from coming back after what she did,

if you hold back you may only hurt yourself but the best thing to do is show them how much better you are without them
 Lixiette
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 24
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History
Your Ex
Posted: 12/17/2007 7:28:43 AM
If you have a child together, it is better to work things out between you an your ex. Whenever children come into the picture, you are no longer allowed to think only for yourself anymore.
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