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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?      Home login  
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 kevinmach
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 4
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?Page 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I think the answer to this question is obvious. If he is truly interested in you, of course he would continue to see you. But, I'd be careful with this:


hot & heavy make out session


It doesn't have to lead to sex, and I've been in that situation too. But that's kind of like giving someone a piece of chocolate, and after chewing on it for a second, telling them to spit it out.

Personally, I'd steer clear of this kind of stuff until you're ready to go there. It's not the same as sex, but depending about how heavy you're talking about, you're on the doorstep.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 5
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 4:54:44 PM
I would really hope that there is more to dating then hoping to get sex...



oh wait.... I forgot... to most there isn't....


I have found that most men don't want to wait anymore... sad state that we are in if sex is all we have in common with the opposite sex...
 YearoftheCat
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 6
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 4:59:24 PM
I'm curious to hear more guys speak up. I tend to go slow and nothing is a bigger turn-off to me than an expectation for sex. Like because he paid for a nice date or because it's date three. I have no "issues" nor do I play control games with sex. I just want it to feel right and I think that takes awhile.

Do guys who are grown-up really have a problem with waiting say, a month?
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 7
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 4:59:36 PM
2 dates? That's nothing. How long are we talking?

Do guys who are grown-up really have a problem with waiting say, a month?
As long as we actually get on outside and inside the bedroom and if the relationship is going to last for at the least, more than a month.
 Reno Simpson
Joined: 9/2/2006
Msg: 9
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 5:22:28 PM
I was seeing this girl quite a few years ago, really liked her.
Out of respect I was waiting for the right time to consummate our relationship, was only about a week we were going out but friends for longer. Anyways she ended up sleeping with a friend and now they are married, no BS.
Still a little butt-hurt about that one.

Other things have happened like this with different women, So I no longer wait out of respect, its lame but I don’t mind putting-out on the first date. lol
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 10
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 5:34:57 PM
WTF Melo???

My point... sex is not the only part of a relationship.... take time and build a friendship... caring and nurturing relationship.... then have sex....

I see so many people who jump in the sack after a few dates and wonder why they hate the person in a month... the didn't know the person...

sex is not a dating activity.... it is a relationship activity... something that you do with someone you care about... not something you do to get to know someone....

time on the phone and email does not equate to knowing someone... real time... in person... seeing them... seeing their expressions.... seeing how they react in situations.... that is knowing someone... we all know plenty of online BSer's who are nothing in person that they said they were online....
 freewillhunting
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 16
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:03:18 PM
I am answering this thread from the perspective of older people dating (i.e. 40+ as a rough guide).

Answer to the original question in the subject line - NO. It seems strange to even be having this discussion. If an older guy and a gal want to go out and there is no sex involved, that's great, its called FRIENDS. But expect that he will looking for another woman to date too.

Sex is natural in a relationship. I would not take a chance with a woman that wants to wait more then 3 or 4 dates. If she can not make up her mind about you by then, I would have questions about her. Does she not enjoy sex, does she use sex to control a guy, how many other rules does she have, etc. A major red flag for me.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 18
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:19:46 PM
LMAO.... the pot calling the kettle a name scorpio??? can you attempt to stick yours out anymore??? please...

or... oh wait... is that what you are looking for>????
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 20
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:31:49 PM
My thoughts only. I never try to speak for others.

I think she should wait - as long as she is ***able*** to wait.

If I like her a great deal - I may be trying to make her ***unable*** to wait all that long.

I personally would like nothing better than - for this sex “stuff” to somehow - revert back to what it use to be like.

All of this use to be “fun”. I had to heat her up - listen to “I am not that kind of girl” - turn the burners up - listen to “I am not that kind of girl” - turn on the afterburner .... 1st base ..... 2nd base .........

The fun is gone now. After being NOT-single for 33 years - it seems all the guy needs to do is ...... show up. It is sad. It all made me feel like “just some guy” - any guy. I stopped dating right after I started. I’ve been on one date in like the last 3.5 years. That “date” was headed in the very same direction and I just went home.

There is a HUGE difference in - just being another date - another guy - another pecker ...... or both being so damn hot nothing could stop it.

I’ll just wait until (if and when) I cross paths with a gal that ...... we can’t keep our hands off of each other and know full well we are going exclusive - no doubts - none.

I have not been in and out of very many relationships. Mine have been INSTANT two way and they have lasted.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 22
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 8:38:28 PM
I'd definitely still date her if she won't sleep with me. I've been seeing my current girlfriend for four months, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I would have been open to the possibility of having sex. And I'm still in no rush to have sex; I wouldn't mind limiting it to cuddling and making out and literal sleeping together for as long as she wants.
 darklord666
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 26
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 11:10:45 PM
OP I think that's perfectly okay. No one should be pressured to have sex. Both parties have to be ready for it to happen or whats the point. But neither party should never tease or I guess make promises with it. When it happens, it happens.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 28
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 2:32:43 AM
Heck! if she held out, I think that it is a good sign that she has standards.
 Leadsled_324
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 31
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 7:09:48 AM
No,

I wouldn't hold it against her if she did not want to have sex with me right away. Some people do have morals and I respect that. If she is a really good person with a great personality as well as good looks, then there is more to her than her body. People are more complex than who they are in the bedroom, even if there is much importance placed on that these days. If two people click and enjoy each other's company, they should be able to wait and see where things go before taking the next step. Having sex right away is a bad thing in my opinion, i mean, sometimes things happen by accident that people have little control of (especially due to alcohol), but it's better to wait for the right person. I think that sex is an intimate connection between two people who have deep feelings for each other and not just a physical act. The best sex in my opinion, is had between two people who have known one another for a long while and are able to understand each other's minds and bodies. That way there is no difficulties or potential for problems to occur. It's all about being in sync basically.... I don't see that type of deep connection happening on even a 3rd date, but it does happen for some people.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 9:46:02 AM
hmm, I must be old fashioned....where I come from, this is a natural progression. Anticipation makes the sex better, b/c you didn't rush past the foreplay. Once you rush to the main event...then what do you do to be different? Introduce toys?

Its the sprint to the bed past the couch that makes people so bored so quick with a relationship...
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 38
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 2:24:39 PM
LMAO @ Ponygirl... that is why my IM's have been off... that and random penis pics popping up... geeez......
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 43
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 9:31:00 PM
No, of course I wouldn't hold it against her. I might a little frustrated, but I also might feel differently about her if she gave it up so early and so easily. I'd prefer for us to get to know each other a bit better before we go that far.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 44
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:39:15 PM

I haven't seen a lot of men saying that they would turn the woman down. Which is good, because they would be lying.
It is helpful, to never assume anything, that you do not know for a 100% fact. Have you questioned each and every man who posted on this forum, on this exact question?
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 48
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/18/2007 1:58:09 PM

It's cruel to tease, for heaven's sake!

but soo sooo much fun!
 mistressdolly
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 49
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/18/2007 4:18:13 PM
Some men won't have the will to wait.

On the other hand, some men enjoy being Teased and Denied or Denied altogether.

Stay true to your heart.

Simple.

Mistress Dolly
the orig.
 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 50
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Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:26:31 PM
Double Standard is right. After a couple of dates, if he proposes sex, he's not a keeper either.
 iamamaneater
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 54
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:26:14 AM
Why would anyone want to date these types in the first place? Strangely, they are popular with young men and the crowds of girls who want to hang out with them.

As for sex, I revert back to my old advice: do not date or sleep with them for two months if you want to be certain that they are just interested. Don't date guys or girls you hardly know--insist on meeting people at work, through social events, friends, etc. instead, and get to know them. Ask someone out on a date when you know you are seriously interested. The sex playmates can find each other at bars, in the street, backalleys, and hotels, and should not be rewarded with dating and sex. If you avoid them, you will not have a problem. These types enjoy stringing others along, playing games, and using dating and relationships for their own benefit. I had a female friend years ago who did it all the time, and the men went very fast with her, only to find themselves discarded along with the boyfriend and the others on the side, easily within less than two months or so, and she had at least 75 men in 7 years, and to my proper estimation (including the ones I never men), closer to 100 or so.
 BigJ_78
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 55
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:42:09 AM
2 dates is about my limit unless shes on her period or something.. No sex by the 3rd date, well, than thats it for that chick, I delete her #
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 56
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:55:40 AM
I had a female friend years ago who did it all the time, and the men went very fast with her, only to find themselves discarded along with the boyfriend and the others on the side, easily within less than two months or so,

I'm not sure I see the problem. In two months, I'm not going to fall in love with someone and all I would ever expect from having sex with someone, is sex. I think I'd find it difficult to see myself as ``discarded.'' After only two months, I'd think of it more like, ``Oh well.''

she had at least 75 men in 7 years, and to my proper estimation (including the ones I never men), closer to 100 or so.

At least when she's 80, she won't be wondering what she missed.
 charlieusn
Joined: 10/27/2010
Msg: 57
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 5/22/2012 11:34:22 AM
I wouldn't mind waiting for a couple more dates. I don't go out expecting sex on the x# date. I don't hold a woman to a double standard, what two consenting adults do is between them.
As pssst and peiganjan pointed out, if she's paying and wants me to put out well, guess I'm putting out. :)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 58
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:50:50 PM
If you sleep with me on the first or second date, I'll do it but I'll have no respect for you afterwards because you obviously have no respect for yourself.

Then you also would have no respect for yourself and she shouldn't have any respect for you, either. If she has no self-respect for sleeping with you on the first date, then by the same token, you have no self-respect for sleeping with her on the first date.
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