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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do women date mutiple guys at once?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SparkintheDark
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 5
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?Page 1 of 43    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Why do women date multiple guys at once? I'll tell you why... because it's the smart thing to do in this day and age. Men date multiple women. We all date, until we connect with someone. What are you supposed to do in the meantime? Commit to one person you don't like??


 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 6
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:38:32 PM
Oye.

I haven't promised myself to anyone. I've made no commitments to anyone. No one has a say in how many or how few I date. Right now the number is ZERO, but that's hardly the point.
 IamMcLovinYo
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 7
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 2:07:41 AM
I believe that people date multiple people at once because they have low self esteem. From my experience, people who date a lot of people at once enjoy the attention and knowing that they must be desirable because so many men are interested. It also could be a maturity thing, where the person is afraid to get serious so he/she self sabotages potential relationships. I realize different people do things differently, but if your goal is a serious monogamous relationship, it is highly unlikely to get a good start from an open relationship. think about anniversaries...if you have a one year anniversary would you be comfortable with the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend was dating someone else during that year, even if just at the beginning. also, most people are easy, so making out, fooling around and even sex are not uncommon in just a few dates.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 9
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:28:59 AM

maybe because guys often control the initial stages of dating? they may or may not call even after saying that they like a woman and having a great date?

Guys control nothing in the dating process. Nip... nada... zip! LOL

They do it because they can! The same reason men do it... because we can!

If there is no MUTUAL discussion of exclusivity then all is fair game.

If she can't keep her facts together and is confusing you with someone else I would suggest that you acknowledge that she is too stupid to breed. call her on her bad behavior and then move on to the next... allowing her to get by with that just tells her you are a doormat.

Merry Christmas!
 Laurelei
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 11
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:08:51 AM
Quite simply, because men do. I don't know one man on this site, that I have spoken to, that is just focused on one girl... so why should I?

I, previously, dated only one man at a time, only to find that they didn't view dating like I did... a one-on-one relationship. I even hid my profile, while talking to each man... It was very frustrating when I found he forgot he was married, was dating other people and sometimes even openly discussed his dating dilemmas or plans with other woman or was inconveniently busy on a Saturday night. I wasted a lot of time and sat home quite a few nights... I decided I wouldn't be doing that anymore.

However, when I find the "one" I am searching for or we find each other... you can be guaranteed that he will be the only one...

I am finding that the old saying is true... "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince." So... mathematically and now for my own sanity (the fair is fair/good for the goose/gander mentality) I am just increasing my odds of finding "him".
And those "roses" that can be given on here are pretty telling... as are the "testimonials" women leave. If a man has a rose missing, or both... and they weren't sent to me... what does that say about me... am I second best? That doesn't sit well when he claims to be pursuing me.

And, as to knowing the correct information about you and a girl remembering who a she is talking to... make sure the girl knows your real first name (not just some made-up username) and make yourself unforgettable... What I mean by that is surprise her, be honest, keep your word, and reveal yourself through conversation... not in a high-drama, 20 questions game... simply put, be yourself.

My two pence...
-Laurel Lei
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 15
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 12:58:24 PM
annikagirl wrote:

Well i don't believe in sex before marriage so sex doesn't enter into dating for me.



Chastity is its own punishment.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 17
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:04:50 PM
Maybe they are confused by all of the women on your profile, maybe you should date younger women with better memories, maybe you should make more of an impression. There is always something that someone is going to biatch about.

If a woman wants to focus on one guy, men will allege that she is intent on snagging a husband or psychotically needy.

Most women that date more than one man are trying to make sure that there is some degree of compatibility with an individual before deciding to cull the others and stick to one guy.

If you don't like it, keep moving to the profile of someone who likes to date one guy at a time. Most of us have to go through many people that are unsuitable before we find someone with whom there is any potential.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 18
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:08:34 PM
jcolsa...I am so curious about the statement that women have a such a better market on line than men.

Really, as in how would you know this, since you are hmmm from the looks of it a man?

I see and hear plenty of threads and women lament how lousy dating in general is, and I haven't heard many say, well ya know, I always have the advantage of the internet.

Since you have made this statement, PLEASE explain how dating for men on the internet is so much less of an advantage for them???

As for the OP...

I have tried it both ways, getting to know one person at a time, only to find it was only ME who was doing the one at a time thing. Then I have also tried the multiple dating, that too hasn't been the greatest thing either.

As stated by Red and Blue, men have up and disappeared after wonderful dates, no word, no explination, NATHANG.... Hey, I am sure women do it too, don't get me wrong, don't date women, don't know what they do...

I do see why it would be a complaint and insult to get wrong information, especially when the cover up is soooo not good... Guess the poor girl needs much MORE practice..

Then once again from the female side of things, I too have been mistaken for someone elses info.... All you can say is WRONG PERSON... That usually makes the mistaker feel like an A$$...

Someone else said if and when people click, they will both give up the mulitples... I have always been respectful, and let the guy know what MY choice was, but what ever they felt for themselves was THEIR choice...

It does NOT feel good when they aren't honest and up front that you are one of many.

Good luck,
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 19
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:21:29 PM
jcolsa....

Ohhhh well thanks for the explination.

Yeah, well this maybe the only time the odds are in balance of females, well that and moving to the state of Alaska.

Ummmm I have to admit, I don't have the exact #'s, but I do know for a fact there are more single women than men at any given time. So at least if the odds don't balance out on a dating site, then there is always choke gag... REAL LIFE...

Anyway, thanks for the info, I have wondered why men said this before...

Merry Christmas...
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 20
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:25:32 PM

How can you possibly get to know a person and know if they are right for you if you are dating around????


Well.. lets see. I'm out with THEM on any given night. That night they have my undivided attention.. and I have theirs. We get to know eachother.. however people go about such things. Maybe.. nights later someone else has my undivided attention.

At worst.. maybe doing things that way means it takes a bit more time than usual to get to know people, but it's not a LOT of time.

If you can't keep details and info straight, then dating multiples isn't for you. That's cool. Your call, etc. Some folks can manage a plate like that, so they do.


And as long as you're willing to put up with it then you're nothing more than her cash cow for drinks, dinner and entertainment.


I adore the automatic assumption that someone dating around.. particularly a woman can't possibly be paying her own way.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 21
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:42:04 PM

I know I've yet to go on a date where the woman has even offered to pay for part of the night out. Now how could one not come to such a conclusion?


You could date each woman on the planet and if none of them pay or offer to pay, then your comment could be considered fact. If you ever manage it... let me know and I'll gladly rethink and edit my comment.

Until such time. Don't assume. Or generalize.
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 23
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:29:53 PM

I personally dont do it, and I dont get it either.....

maybe until you will experience a "disappearing" phenomenon a few times, or find out that a guy that *you* are seeing exclusively is also seeing others and doesn't think much of it. But as a previous poster said, whatever is suitable for you.


I have been the victim of the disappearing phenomena and I have also gone out with men who have multiple dated and used me as 'second fiddle'...sorry...I don't agree with it--I didn't like it being done to me and I won't do it 'just because I can' or because it's been done to me. If someone has my attention they get it all...you know immediately if you want to see them again. If you don't then you go on your way...if you do then I don't think it's appropritate to see other people.

Just my thoughts...
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 24
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:56:33 PM

So why do women date multiple men at once?


So why do you want to make this into a battle of the sexes deal? Some people date multiple opposite sex members at once. Others DON'T. And so it has always been.

Seems to me that those who do are insecure: what if they pick one, won't another one get away? And what if the *best* one gets away because you're already tied down to another. I'd think that if you had any sense of who you are, and what you want, you might be able to choose who among the suitors is likely to match, and just do that one. But that's me. Many many many of both sexes just have to keep bunches of irons in the fire.



 headtats1
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 29
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/27/2007 1:12:12 AM
ive been seeing a lady for4 weeks now, she seas that she is trying to find out how much she feals about me and shes looking forthe best option. my concerns are that when she meets up with a new fella, she usaly ends up on my door at 2 sometimes 3 in the morning. then we talk and have sex for up to 3/4 houres, its been like this for 4 weeks, only 3 nights we havent made love or sex, some times if she doesnt get anything out of the men then she will give them another chance, but she comes to me first. she seas that she feal relaxed and comfortable with me and injoys my company, if so why cant she stop doing what shes doing. igzample. she meet a new blook 1 week ago, rawchy texting the lot. this clown bosted about how endowed he was, so she hoohs up with him and gives him head, 3 minutes this clown blow. she got nothing, if thats not disrespectfull, i dont no what is but she was thinking of giveing himanother chance. i told her how could this be defining our relationship. shes out with another tonight. how long must this go on before i pull the pin and find a more serious lady, she keeps telling me i need to understand and give her more time
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 30
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:13:36 AM
Because not all of us are looking for our soulmate to settle down and live happily ever after with. Some of us just date for fun, no expectations, no strings. Some of us are happy being single but still like to have friends of the opposite sex to hang out with.
 minervablu
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 33
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 7:46:51 AM
Guess that's why it's called dating!
Dating is what I taught my kids (girl & boy) to do rather than get 'involved' before they knew what was up.

To me dating means no commitment and no explanations.

If you're dating a woman and she can't keep your stats correct then maybe it's time to move on.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 35
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 6:48:17 PM
Well for myself..

I have my crass moments... If'n I'm boffing the guy... I shall not use the term 'dating'... depending on who is asking... I'll use something more colorful.

If'n I'm going to clubs, movies, concerts.. any social-y events with him (or him and him)... i calls it Dating.

I've had too much sugar today...
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 36
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 8:47:16 PM
It's called... dating

dating is getting to know someone... it's a part of "courting", a way to find out if you are compatible.

That's all

Now some people seem to think dating means having sex. It doesn't... having sex is having sex.

If someone wants to get to know several people and find out which of those several people he/she might actually want to commit to I can't think of a better way to do it than to date. That's the whole point of it.

Otherwise it's not dating, it's serial monogamy. Until there is a commitment between 2 people they are free to see as many other people as they want to. That's what SINGLE means, NOT committed. Might be none, might be a hundred.
 isTHISuserNametaken
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 39
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:41:06 PM
I've had the very some problem with women Red & Blue, It works both ways.
 HeartoGold50f
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 40
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:43:45 AM
Not alllll women do...just as not allllllllll men do either. I think when you want a relationship with someone, the cards need to be on the table on both sides..dont' u? There have to be certain boundaries, agreements...to always be honest, forthright. Some can't do that. Some try and slip up..and it can be forgiven maybe? But I don't tolerate much when someone promises me something and does another thing. I was told..."Oh..but we made that pact a while ago!" See his way out? I mean to him...maybe the next day, we should repeat the promise or sign papers? LUDICROUS! lol

I'm like YOU...I can't be honest with myself or others if I'm dating or seeing someone else. I met someone who wanted to date me...asked me to agree not to date anyone else. Then I found he HAD been dating others, then later had someone living with him! That really breeches trust!

If there are trust issues...forget even a good friendship then right? My 19 yr old son, a sophmore in college, told me the same about his gf. of 2 yrs. He would never cheat on her he told me; but she gives the impression she is honest, then he caught her in lying about seeing someone, and then saw with his own eyes her with him! He broke up with her and is seeing someone new. Now she is upset, hurt, and even her Mother called to talk with my son openly. My son told her Mom, that his gf...her daughter had lied to him. Hes very open like I am though, direct, upfront. Her Mother feels badly and doesn't want them apart. HE told her she is unsure of what she wants, and needs time to decide things for her own life...then maybe. I think thats wise! (Just sharing examples here to help you see its not women, vs. men!) I say its about HONESTY! Those with class, integrity and nothing to hide, are honest. Nobody is perfect...but HONESTY, TRUST is the foundation for any friendship, relationship or marriage.

So it happens between 2, its not just women or all men...it depends on WHO you're dating. If they aren't honest in little things, wait and see, they aren't in big things either!
 desertspider
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 42
[Why do women date mutiple guys at once?]
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:07:09 AM
Spider Lady a say you not date, you are taking hostages. Just because you bought a dinner does n ot mean you own the lady. Sound like these are smart ladies that keep their options open.
 clarinetchic
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 47
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:05:02 PM
Speaking as one who has done this, I don't see the issue. I personally like to have options. When you meet someone for the first time, there is so much pressure to make that first impression. I will give someone a chance and go out with them a few times. Although there are first and last dates too. So, don't criticize us for doing something you guys have been doing for years. When the shoe is on the other foot, it doesn't feel so good does it?
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 48
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:29:21 PM
Because I smoke.
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 49
Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:44:16 PM
So many men ... so little time!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 50
Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:05:13 PM
^^^^^^^ (Because I smoke was just as funny....LMAO)


So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time? It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it...


~OT~ I don't multi-date or frenzy-date anymore, but I sure miss the days when I did. I used to make it clear: I'm dating, not looking for anything physical or long-term. If that wasn't OK, they were free to motivate elsewhere. I didn't usually get the "turn and run" in return for that honesty, most of the time I'd date someone several times or even one for a long time under the condition, we were both free to see others. I didn't want anything long term, love, permanence, etc. Now I'm older, I can't even fathom dating one man ~ two or more ~ I don't have the patience or the interest. But should I reach that point, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Socializing with the opposite sex doesn't mean long-term to me, those are few and far between and are exceptionally difficult to find. The older I get, the less likely it is I'll ever "settle down." Geez, I guess what I do without dating is being "settled".....LOL I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person if you are honest about it. That's how you discover who you might wish to be with on a more one-on-one basis in my mind. But then again, I don't date ~ so what do I know???
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