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 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 10
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does the internet make people more picky?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
People want what they want and are attracted to what they're attracted to...here or in real life. When someone puts their 'wish' list on their profile I doubt they are saying that they will only accept these attributes...it's a wish list for goodness sake. They are putting down basic things that attract them or what they are hoping to find. I'm still trying to find Sean Connerry from 10 years ago, but I think I missed the boat!

Some things are deal breakers, but I don't think that they all are...I agree with the poster above who said she won't settle. I know what I want and am comfy with for certain aspects of a partner...I can almost guarantee I would not be happy long term if I ignored them...therefore, they are deal breakers. Many other things are just things I prefer.
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 15
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 12:55:18 AM
I know what you're driving at ganon, but I think most people have the requisites there as a wish list not a definitive 'you absoluetly must have'....as noted...some things will be definite and some won't.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 16
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 2:44:34 AM
Gannon

Lets have some fun.

You caut and paste a few of the more ridiculous demands and we will see which paticular rock and movie stars these grils have turned down.

Eg If she's after under age 50 then she's turnd donw all of the Rolling Stones, and Rod Stewart, and Clint Eastwood.

Over 158 cm hieght and she's turned down Heath Ledger and Tom Cruise.
 amazon60
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 18
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 3:44:08 AM
Internet dating seems to foster high expectations. If you give the mind room to imagine then it will run away with itself. We not only want the perfect person we are also uber picky when we met people off the internet, because our mind has already created this perfect person in our minds. It can be very difficult.....
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 23
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:25:56 AM
The things I have looked for have not changed from meeting strangers in person to meeting them on the internet. The only difference is I can state up frong what it is I'm looking for so that the guys that don't meet those requirements can avoid rejection. If a guy I met in person wasn't taller than me I still rejected him, I just had to go about it differently. If he wasn't intelligent enough I still ran for the hills as soon as he walked away from me. I can remember being told "you'd look great if you lost 10 pounds" by a guy I wanted to go out with back in the 90s (when I was a size 8!!). If he'd had a profile on here he could have stated that you must not be 10 pounds overweight and we could have avoided that situation.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 26
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 6:17:41 AM
Two people quoted Rowdy's post and the ridiculous component of that is obviously neither read her profile or really understood what she said which was if she finds an individual that treats her properly SHE will lavish love and affection on them, duh.

If you are finding people with a laundry list then move on to someone that does not have one. Perhaps the problem is not the general attitudes of people on the Internet but the kind of people you seek out based on the profiles upon which you click.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 28
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 6:29:31 PM
No. However, it allows them to identify and choose their targets more carefully.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 32
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/28/2007 8:48:28 PM

the funny thing is they look for good lookin guys

Not this girl. I like mine a little on the heavy side and tall. I like a man with character and not a pretty face. But he does need to know how to smile.
 SILady10306
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 35
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 1:24:34 PM
Everyone has their criteria of what they want in a mate whether in person or on the net. It's just on the net, it's obvious what that criteria is. Yes, I do think we are pickier on the net.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 36
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 1:30:57 PM
You know what I think the internet does... It creates an environment of, if I caught this fish, then I can do even better... So it is a major catch and release program in so many ways...

It would be nice if a person actually had the time to get to know the other, and vise versa, instead of looking for that just a bit more perfect than the last...
 -=PapiChulo=-
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 37
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:15:59 PM

but we all know, logically, the perfect person doesnt exist.


Oh, they exist. But will you ever have the chance of meeting and marrying one? Extremely doubtful. In fact, I think the proabability of getting struck by lightening is far greater. Women want their fairy tale prince charming, men want their "perfect 10." Those that have set their standards too high will remain trapped in their fantasies, and their reality will suffer.

Perhaps that is why there are few success stories where the end result was marriage. For those who only want to play the field though, it's a blessing. For me personally, the internet is just another tool that allows for social networking. I do not place much stock in it though.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 39
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:41:48 PM
Dang PapiChulo, I just want someone that is employed and breathing... Should I lower my standards????



Seriously, I did get a good dose of women on the forums that state they deserve, and will not settle for less... Holy heavens, can someone break out crowns for this little princes...
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 41
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:42:51 PM
Yes. Many people have a long list of requirements that eliminate most potential dates or they will reject someone because of a minor reason. Even if you meet someone's list of requirements, many people still think they can find someone better because they are so many people on various dating sites.



Personally, I think we should be picky whether on the internet or not...after all, we are looking for someone to perhaps spend the rest of our lives with...we should never settle to just not be alone...I would rather be alone, than settle.


It is okay NOT to settle WHEN you have reasonable standards. But many people on POF and other dating sites have unrealistic expectations.
 mystery author
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 42
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:48:32 PM
Personally, I think we should be picky whether on the internet or not...after all, we are looking for someone to perhaps spend the rest of our lives with...we should never settle to just not be alone...I would rather be alone, than settle.
 BamaBob
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 44
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:10:31 PM
I know that what I read on some profiles of even very pretty divas seems so high and mighty that I immediately flip over to the next page. When I see one that talks about travels, elegant restaurants and reeks of luxury I just figure they're gold diggers. If they fall for my simplistic life style and have some class and similar looks and build to me then I'm game. Don't get me wrong, I'd date the diva's and society chicks with pleasure! But, I'm not going to suck up to them and go broke doing it. If they can't come down to my level it's just tough because I'm either not will or not capable of climbing up to them if their pedestal is too high. Too, absolutely no freaks...if they don't have at least a hint of morality I'm out of there!
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 45
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:18:41 PM
I refuse to settle for less than a man who treats me the way I should be treated and who let's me lavish love, affection and attention on him.

People need to read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman....

One of the other posters is right, that quote is a VERY egocentric statement... the problem is that people who think like that don't realize the wound they are carrying.


I know that what I read on some profiles of even very pretty divas seems so high and mighty that I immediately flip over to the next page. When I see one that talks about travels, elegant restaurants and reeks of luxury I just figure they're gold diggers.

I'm a fairly good looking and successful guy and I can give a woman those things and those Diva's don't give me the time of day... but when you see them at an event they hook up with guys who are no where near what these Divas are asking for and most of these guys coudn't tell the difference between a soup spoon and a teaspoon and they certainly couldnt buy their way out of the valet parking. Superficial is as superficial does.

To thine own self be true and if they don't recognize your value then just keep fishing...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 46
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:23:47 PM
The internet is just that, the internet. It doesn't change people or their behaviors, just facilitates certain ones.

People who continue to "shop" around will always be looking. There are men and women like that and the internet didn't cause that behavior.

The internet does present an opportunity to have a wider variety of contacts. Whether you take advantage of that or not, you still have to meet people and "date", spend time together to establish a relationship with someone.

It is called a dating site, most sites like this are. It's really more of a "meeting" place, you don't actually date here, unless someone's into the cyber thing.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 47
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:37:04 PM
I don't think it makes us more picky. I just think it exposes us to a much wider range of people we would never be interested in even if we met them in real life. It's just that the obviousness of the the whole dating site format and the limited information that can be conveyed in a profile makes a lot of people suddenly think that they would be a match for a whole lot of people that in real life would obviously not be a match. For example, a lot of old guys (I mean, over 50) suddenly think they have a chance with me because they find me on a dating site. It might feel like to the old guy that I'm being extra picky when I say I'm not interested right away. It may even feel like that to me, if I spend a lot of my time gently and politely rejecting a lot of people. And I wind up thinking "oh, am I being too picky?" But in real life these people would have never bothered to approach in the first place! It would never even enter my mind to put them in the potential date category, but on here, because we're all on a dating site, suddenly every one is thrown into the potential date category with everyone else, because everyone knows everyone else is looking. If you are starting to feel like the people of the opposite sex that you are trying to contact are being too picky because of the internet, ask yourself if you would have even bothered to approach that person if you met them in a lineup in a grocery store, and whether you would have had a better chance there. I doubt it.
 3ClubMonkey
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 48
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:00:29 PM
Bud, it doesn't make them more picky, it makes them unrealistic.

Women who thought they were popular before, find out that they're in incredible demand. Many women, if they were to reply to all the men that contact them, would need to make this a full time job and that I know for sure, I've seen it live.

Women pick guys off these venues.
 algodondeazucar
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 51
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:49:06 PM
It gives us the false impression of having too many options, and we start trying to decide which one is better...just like a catalogue. It´s a boost for the ego but real life is different.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 54
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:54:19 AM
Well, I think from the posts of some males on here, some are put off by females having a ton on their list. It might lead some of the men to think that female might be very demanding, or he might think he just might not match what the female has, or she may find something he's missing on the list. Who knows? Of course, women should put somethings down as to what they want, but if there are so many things on there, less men might approach the woman. I have had an experience where a woman wrote to me that I wouldn't have written normally, because she had a lot on her list, and I just thought I wouldn't match up with the list thing, maybe.
The woman thought I was pretty awesome, and if she didn't approach me we wouldn't have met. I am not a demanding person, I am down-to-Earth, and I like my woman to be that way, and a long list makes me sometimes think there is a good chance that woman is not like that, and I might overlook someone. But, yes, woman should be somewhat picky, and lots of men are really not be in their fishing net. I don't dispute that. I just don't read a long, huge profile with a huge list of things. It's way over the top for me.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 56
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:13:14 AM
I do believe that a person has to have a certain personality to entertain seriously finding a date online. A person has fewer people to consider in a non-online dating environment. Online makes it more convenient while serving several purposes. Do I believe online dating is realistic? For the most part. But I do believe there are people who might pursue a person online that may not otherwise. As far as being picky. Why would I want to place myself in a worst situation then before. Not necessarily referring to material things rather emotionally and so forth. The same may go for others. Although I am not chosen as a favorite to women on this site. I can say if I were I would definitely delete those who I were not interested in. It is my choice that I would not think twice about exercising.
 Ashari
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 57
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does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:27:09 AM
I think that the Internet works on a number of levels with regard to dating and meeting people.

Does the internet make people more picky? is a good question.

An earlier posting i read made reference to 8O% of communication being Non Verbal Communication - this is a very true observation, so by the removal of the NVC cues in order to facilitate a meeting of like minded persons the writer has to be much more specific in their needs and requirements. Example - if a person is out socialising they tend to gravitate to an environment with other like minded people which is what drew them to the venue in the first place - therefore one can assume some communality of interest whether it be that the venue plays music which you both like or provides some other form of enterntainment in which you both share an interest. So by specifying ones likes and dislikes , needs and requirements it should - if the person reads your profile [ and doesn't just look at the picture(s) which some guys - can't comment on women here- blatantly do] start to eliminate people with whom you have little or nothing in common and attract those of a like minded ilk, if they happen across your profile.

Also in, or at a venue, you exchange eye contact and are able to make a visual appraisal which is an option often not available on line. Therefore if you are not visually attracted to the 4ft 4" or 6ft Adonis [one man's meat is another man's poison here] making his way towards you, you can convey that before the person approaches you, by looking away, not engaging in eye contact, flirting or the hasty retreat to the loo; again this is not an option on line so sometimes people can feel rejected.

To extrapolate on this point further the Internet allows dreams and hopes to flourish, sometimes unrealistically - people chat on line or in the many different formats available and will often do this for weeks/months before meeting during which time feelings of attraction can develop. Quite often when the couple finally meet one or other is diappointed because the pictures used on the site have been airbrushed or are 10 years out of date - still them but considerably younger, slimmer etc and people are deceptive about themselves and or their circumstances.

Also the net i believe makes infidelity an easier option and the posting by 'my10centsin' describes a scenario i have heard many times before. I don't know what the answer to that is as human nature being what it is some people are never satisfied. All i would suggest is that before embarking on any encounter that you try to discuss and lay the ground rules by which the relationship will run.

Finally, i think the Internet allows people to draw up an idealised version of what they would like and what they wouldn't. If you read and respond to a profile and you are clearly not what the person has specified don't be too surprised, hurt and disappointed if you are rejected - move on, get over it, there are PLENTY OF FISH in the sea.

Have a Blessed 2008 all.

much love Ash
 oregonmeetsmesa
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 63
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:42:42 AM
I believe so,so many seem to be playing top that last caller.I person, people are not that picky,ones personality overrides looks within seconds,here maybe you don't get that chance.Then by the time you learned of the nitty gritty its to late you already like the person
 Tigress
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 66
does the internet make people more picky?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:23:48 PM
Since we have the space to write it down in black and white and a large audience, it doesn't hurt to ASK!

I don't think that people expect that they will find someone with ALL thier perfect specifications, but with some luck, you'll get someone with SOME of the qualities you want!
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