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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?      Home login  
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 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 21
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Kirstie, all men like eating lasagna, there aren't any men who don't like lasagna. My point? What you said only applies to some men, and it depends on who they are having sex with. If a man is having sex with someone he believes he has tons of chemistry with and he is a very sensitive male, then he will fall for the woman. You're also assuming that women all get affected by sex the same way. That's just far from the truth. Plenty of women who have strong physical urges look for men to fulfill them. This man it seems enjoys you a lot as a friend, he enjoys you sexually and as a person, but he doesn't feel that ultimate connection to you. He is not really making love to you, he is having sex with you. If you were having intercourse with another man, it would possibly be a whole different ball game. I definitely feel something during sex if I really like the woman. If I don't feel a strong connection to her, then I don't, and the same applies to many women who are trying to get their needs met by picking up men..
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 24
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:40:39 PM

OK... so if they are in love... do they feel anything emotional?


I'm not sure it's fair to equate one with the other in males. Unlike the female of most species, the male of most species is capable of the act of sex without the feeling of love. How's that for a controversial statement? It should generate some conversation!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 27
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:02:49 PM
It depends. If the guy already has feelings for you, then they become intensified when he has sex with you. But if he just sees you as a friend and nothing more, then it's just sex with a friend. No feelings other than friendship.

There are some women who have an FWB and never feel anything for the guy, but in general, when it comes to FWBs, it's the woman who falls for the guy, and not the guy who falls for the girl.

I'd stick to proper dating in future. If a guy says he's not looking for a relationship, you can always say that you'll give it a month or two, as long as he's open to it. But IMHO, if he's not open to a relationship at all, you won't win him around by having sex with him. So make sure he's willing to consider a relationship, and date properly in future. Leave FWBs for those who haven't learned yet.

That's my $0.02
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 29
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:28:39 PM
I agree with this woman. Pixy seems very nice. She thinks you are hurting a part of yourself by staying with this man in this way. You need to start dating other men. But becareful about going into this FWB speech right away with them. You need to stop sleeping with this man and tell him you want a break from it right now and keep the friendship part. You need to cut yourself off from this a bit... You need another man, point blank. Actually, OP, you do know deep down that many of us men do sometimes connect on a major level with women we make love to, but you don't want to face the fact that you have fallen for him while having sex, and it makes you feel weak in that state, and he doesn't and looks stronger, and you feel bad. Be with a man who will make you feel good when you make love to him. Don't do this to yourself.
It's not so kind to your self-esteem...

Lots of love for the new year...
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 32
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:52:07 PM
Not all men are emotionless just like most women aren't emotionless. I made the near same mistake and now she just acts like it and nothing ever happened. Bummer too, I really like her but can't figure out why she's acting like this. I would say OP, be more careful in the future and make the next guy wait for IT and make certain he's the right one for you. Unless you want it to happen all over again or are into random sex.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 43
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:58:48 AM
lol Good question Kirstie. The short and cryptic answer is... what came first, the chicken or the egg? You seem to be saying that sleeping with someone should emotionally attach you to them. Which sounds weird to me. Men feel emotion when they have sex, such as love and affection, IF they felt that way about you BEFORE the sex. The sex doesnt CAUSE the emotion.

In conclusion, if the guy feels for you (in that way) before sex, it will definitely carry over INTO sex. However... if he doesnt, then its just pleasant sex to him. I thought it was the same with women. Is sex supposed to CAUSE feelings? lol Sounds kinda shallow to me.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 55
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:18:56 AM
Kirstie, you seem to look quite decent from looking at your profile. You don't have to be some petite girl to attract many men into your life. It is about attitude, and you are freely admitting that you are not having the most confidence in yourself, and you feel that he pays you some attention even if it's just sex, and you are not sure you will find more than that from the men out there. You're kind of scared; I understand, and many of us know the dating world can be scary sometimes. However, there are plenty of men who would love to have a warm-hearted, sweet, passionate girl. As far as confidence, it is a choice. Look, men want women and women want men. You don't need 1000% more confidence to master that. You just need to get out there and meet more guys and take your time.
You also feel kind of cheap, because he is sexing you, and you are saying "Aren't I worth more than that?" He is not having sex with you to insult you. He enjoys sharing with you physically, but just because he doesn't want you as his girlfriend doesn't mean his tastes applies to all men. Some man out there would really want you, but you are spending time with this guy. You seem too afraid to let this guy go and you are not sure where to go. Lift your chin up and show them you're a girl, and a great catch!

Ain't nothing wrong with the way you look for so many men, only the way you're thinking about yourself...
 sin2gether2
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 62
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:55:13 PM
Mr. Woods
I think that women feel emotionally connected by a sexual relationship. Men don't. It has nothing to do with Harlequin romance novels or Cosmo. It has nothing to do with the physical nature of sex for example a man being "inside" of us. I am a modern woman and I can't change my emotions. I would like to be able to have FWB but I can't. I get too attached. I think it has to do with the fact that we are controlled by a female brain. We have the capacity to be mothers. We respond to the chemicals in our brains in a different way than men ... to enable nurturing, loving behaviour. It is nature.
I'm not sure if men are lucky because they don't get easily attached from a sexual relationship. But then again .... we women must experience sex at a deeper level. This is possibly something some men will never know.
 quietcowboy
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 64
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:14:12 PM

I think that women feel emotionally connected by a sexual relationship. Men don't. It has nothing to do with Harlequin romance novels or Cosmo. It has nothing to do with the physical nature of sex for example a man being "inside" of us. I am a modern woman and I can't change my emotions. I would like to be able to have FWB but I can't. I get too attached. I think it has to do with the fact that we are controlled by a female brain. We have the capacity to be mothers. We respond to the chemicals in our brains in a different way than men ... to enable nurturing, loving behaviour. It is nature.
I'm not sure if men are lucky because they don't get easily attached from a sexual relationship. But then again .... we women must experience sex at a deeper level. This is possibly something some men will never know.


Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Read what the men said in this topic on FWB:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8498332.aspx
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 66
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:37:47 PM
I don't think it's a specific gender thing, but I do think it's sub-culturally/societally based. I think men are ALLOWED to not think about their emotions, and women are taught (by society) to GO by their emotions. I don't think that it's REALLY hard-wired due to having a Y-chromosome or not. And THAT is why you get both cold women using men for sex, and cold men using women for sex. And warm women who only make love, and warm men who only make love.

Really, a pair-bond *is* probably hard-wired into HUMANS (but NOT a life-long pair-bond, only about a 5-7 year one, until the kids are able to run for themselves).
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 71
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:13:13 AM
If the question is can men have sex with someone they do not love? The answer is yes. Can we have sex with someone we love? The answer is again yes. Can the having sex turn a man from just being physically attracted to you to in love with you? Yes and No. Sex can be the gateway to intimacy, but in the end it's that intimacy that makes a man fall in love. Sex alone will not do it.
 Bewildered100
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 74
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:15:21 AM
I read somewhere that while women need love to feel comfortable with sex, men need sex to feel comfortable falling in love.
 quietcowboy
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 76
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:24:23 AM
Something that has bothered me after reading many of the ladies post have been the statement of similar to "as soon as we had sex, he broke it off with me, I guess he got what he wanted". I know this is sometimes true, but many times it isn't. It can mean that the relationship has moved along to a decision point and whether there was sex or there wasn't sex, guess what he finally decided? But it seems that if there was sex well the reason he broke it off is "obvious".
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 80
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:09:11 AM

I think its different for women... its harder not to get emotionally involved.


It's biologically programmed into you. Almost impossible not to, for women. It's clear, though, that he likes you a lot. Depends on what you want out of this activity.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 85
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:27:46 AM
Either A) you are the most incredible romp in the sack this man has ever experienced or B) he does feel something because he has spent two years with you.

Now, I highly doubt its A) because if it were he would be professing his undying love for you... which means it must be B).

Perhaps you are just looking for words that have no meaning?

Perhaps if you need to hear something he is unwilling or unable to say, you should walk away and take whats left of your self respect with you?
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 88
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:47:15 AM
sometimes it's anger or hate. Like ever heard of a Hate Fuck? It's like intense too. It's not always love ya know.
 sandra19
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 95
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:12:55 PM
omg ..i kinda have the same kinda problem..its ridiculous ..and i dont think its coz u slept with him then ..he would of prolly said the same thing after a while ..some men just CANT comit or admit they have feeling ....and hey think of it this way ..u are still in his life ..and he still wants u there ..so that must mean something;) lol ...if he didnt care bout u he would of stopped talking to you long before ..just have patience and hopefully one day he will admit the obvious . good luck

to answer your question though ..Some men have no emotions what so ever ,,they are just animals in heat ....But i like to believe that most men do have feelings and emotions :)
 3ClubMonkey
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 101
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:45:29 PM
Emotion ... for sure. Lots of people seem to be afraid of emotions but they can be so empowering.

But you're 21 ... tell me this guy is close to your age, please.

The thing is, sex won't make a person love another, irrespective of gender. However, bad sex could break up a good relationship, even when the "Terminator" loves the lousy lover.

Sex isn't love. Having sex with someone you love isn't making love. Making love to/with someone you love ... now that's something. If you at the very least got to make love to this guy while you loved him, well, you got more out him than he did out of you. If you've come to the realization that there is no future, then end it now ... but then I always eat what I don't like first.

And to be totally lame, there's an expression about: "If you love someone, set them free" or something like that. The thing is, if he comes back to you, maybe he learned that he loves you. You do do a great deal together.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 114
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:47:02 AM


Ladies, you aren't the only ones with problems in life ( although it seems many to most to nearly all women seem to behave that way from my perspective) and it's not just about what you want and what you need and how you feel. Men actually have feelings too. Most of these men would actually show them sometimes if most to many to nearly all women could muster up even one shred of compassion or sympathy for what most men have to go through on a daily basis.


QFT.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 115
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:23:41 AM
Quoted for Truth. I'd write a little more if you weren't struggling so hard. I suggest reading Ultimateheartsurgeon's posts a few times, because there are gems of truth in them.


ve known more than one woman. Who thought HER feelings. Were the begin all/ end all of feelings. And feck everyone else's.


Welcome to the world of egocentric Western women. Not all of them are like that, but a good majority of them are.
 womanofpassion2007
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 129
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:14:57 AM
I'd say about 95% of them only feel physically....sex isn't an emotional experience like it is for women.....that's a fact and we might as well accept it.....If sex is going to attach you emotionally to a guy, just don't go there........
 womanofpassion2007
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 130
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:16:43 AM
That's deep. LOL
 ActiveGirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 133
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:02:04 AM
Nick,
Very well written. I totally agree with you ... I have seen this happen!

Domesticated men of course evetually have troubles in the erection dept because they turn into teddy bears.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 136
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:28:38 AM
Most of the time I consider it making love and not just sex. I can't get fully emotionally attached to a woman if I don't have sex with her. I date a woman because I like her. If there isn't sex after a while I start to think she just doesn't like me and the interest and emotional attachment decreases and ends eventually.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 141
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:21:37 PM
Well if he is in a long term monogamus realtionshipw ith you he may very well love you. The sex is not the problem he has commitment issues or just does not know hwo to say he loves you and only wants to be withy ou. you should lay down the law and say he has to be your boyfriend or it ends. YOu have been dating too long to be in an open relationship.
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