Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > New Years Dilemma      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 1
view profile
History
New Years DilemmaPage 1 of 1    
Sorry folks but this one has my head wrecked:
A good friend Helen is leaving for Australia. She's been terrible for contact the past 2 months apparently due to being so busy getting organised. Fair enough. But I was told very late in the day that her farewell party is tonight ie New Years!! I had already promised 2 friends who are moving back to Germany in a few days that I would be with them tonight in the city. Add to that, that a close friend Laura and the one who is leaving for Australia are no longer on speaking terms. I don't want to leave Laura on her own tonight as she's had a bad year.

Together with another friend Caroline who is also mates with Laura and Helen we agreed we would go to Helen's farewell tonight early and then go with Laura to the city and all celebrate. We also agreed we'd try and have lunch or a drink with Helen before she leaves. I called Helen today (as she didn't respond yesterday) to suggest this and her response was: the party won't start before 9 (which leaves us with little chance of getting in anywhere in the city afterwards) and she can't meet up any other time!

What would you do?
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
New Years Dilemma
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:38:29 AM
Thanks guys!
Well it wasn;t quite as bad as one days notice but a few weeks ago I agreed with friends to be in the city then another friend told me about Helen's party tonight. I had known though that Helen was leaving early Jan but she's been unreachable for a while ie I tried to contact her a few times to no avail which is what really annoys me and now she can't even compromise by letting me go early or meet us for a drink/lunch before she leaves...Still she's leaving for good to the other side of the world!

Caroline has changed her mind, doesn't know what she's doing and will probably go to Helen's for a while so it's just all arghhh...Why on New years??

My other friends who I intially agreed with are a bit up in the air as well but I can meet them another day before they go back to Germany. My main dilemma really boils down to combining being with Helen and Laura.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 3
view profile
History
New Years Dilemma
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:10:46 AM
If I understand your repost Helen did not even invite you, you were informed of the party by another friend. In any case, this or something else that arises, you keep the original plans, perhaps altering the time you stay, but only if you can do the new thing without making yourself insane or risking life and limb driving like Mario Andretti to get somewhere.

You are young, you are female, you need to learn now instead of it taking 20 years like it did with most of us, you will not be able to please everyone and you cannot fix the problems that other people make.

I am sure she has been busy but with cell phones, how hard is it to return a phone call? Return an e-mail? Tell her that you are sorry that things worked out this way, you will be looking forward to her e-mails, and you hope if she comes for a visit that she will give you more notice so that you do not already have plans the few hours she makes available to see you.

These were her choices, she should live with them. Sounds like Laura really needs a friend, sounds like Helen has many of them she blew off. Decision is not that hard although I do understand that it tests your loyalty, etc. And while I am sure that you like her and hate to see her go, won't your life be oh so much easier when the Helen/Laura dilemma no longer exists, sigh.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 4
view profile
History
New Years Dilemma
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:10:22 PM
Ha ha people want the news!!
Thanks for the advice btw!

Well due to a family dinner (as my brother leaves again tomorrow and my mum is working now) I ended up an hour later than planned at Helen's after getting lost and Caroline trying to help navigate me. I could feel some tension especially from another friend who obviously felt we were deserting Helen and the whole family were confused why we had to leave so soon/suddenly. I then drove us to a very angry Laura for half 11 and got us to the city just in time to do the whole Happy New years wishes in the pub!

Not quite the best of days but it could have been worse. I tried and indeed I'm learning to be more selfish.

:)
Thanks
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > New Years Dilemma