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 MacGyverRI
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 3
left feeling usedPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Move on, she's not interested since you've been had too easily. Next time don't be too friendly and you really need to treat the girl like crap since it's well documented that they all seem to love it when they have a challenge.


Women don't like the so-called nice guys so find a jerk you know and emulate him! Never call when you're supposed to, stick them w/ the dinner check and then they will chase you!

j/k, or not...
 1brnsuga
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 13
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left feeling used
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:17:18 PM
I am so sorry that happend to you..being a counslor, you should have notices that she had lots, and lots, and lots of baggage. Use your intelligence next time, one should not need 'worshiping' from anyone its's a sign for desaster, because you loose your self in trying to be all you can be for someone else!
Relationships cannot be very healthy if one of the two has unresolved issues that unresolved, especially relationships. That should have been your first sign to save yourself from all the BS that you've been thrown. With all that you say she has done to you...where does the LOVE com in...what could you possibly LOVE about the person you are with. How satisfying is the relationship you are in.
Listen, we all have choices, you made a CHOICE to be eoth this person...now chose to chalk it up to experience and move on. Tere are soooo many good women that have thier own life established and would love the addition of a nice, caring affectionat man such a yourself...

So, what are you soing tonight... (JUST KIDDING)
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 18
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left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:58:55 AM
LOL cocytus You read my mind as thats exactly my thoughts! Another thought I had is he tried to play personal counselor with her and it blew up in his face!
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 20
left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:48:08 AM

Its a shame its happened and i do feel sympathetic, but as a counsler, shouldn't you have realized/seen any of the signs that were there to begin with ?


People on here don't seem to realize you can take courses through the mail or online to be a counselor. Being a counselor doesn't imply any certain level of education, other than learning what you need to become a counselor. Anyone can do that. We aren't talking about a psychologist here.
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 25
left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:59:58 AM
Maybe your girlfriend found out about the wife you are talking about in your other thread.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 36
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left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:57:53 AM
I had to re-read this several times......HUH?

But I think I get the gist of it...you worshiped some woman and she used you.

Here's the first little hint for you....despite what some say, REAL women do NOT want to be worshiped--we don't want to be placed on a pedestal and waited on hand and foot. We don't want some guy who comes running to us at the drop of a hat, pays for everything, and bows down to our every whim.
REAL women, when they are with a guy who really cares about them, give as much as they receive. If you are doing all of these things for her and she isn't giving anything back, then it's a one-sided relationship. You aren't being a "nice guy," you are being a doormat. To her, you're like an abused dog--You get kicked, beaten down, tossed aside, but still you're doing everything imaginable to make her happy and please her in the hopes that just once she'll look your way and toss you a bone, or some scraps from the table. And I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen.

Stop trying to contact her, stop trying to get back with her. Why would you want to have that garbage in your life? Counselor or not, you really should look into seeking either a psychiatrist or licensed therapist.

As far as dating--you really need to take some time to yourself, to heal. Don't jump back into the dating scene just yet--you come across as being too defensive and angry. When you are truly ready to date again, take things SLOWLY. Get to really KNOW the girl you are with; I know a lot of guys like you who fall too quickly.
Watch out for any signs of extreme emotional or mental problems: for example, if she brings up any of her exes constantly, and how horribly they treated her; if she has been abused and expects you to "rescue" her; if she starts making emotional or financial demands, and uses manipulation, guilt trips, etc. to get her way.

It is NOT your job to rescue any woman from a bad situation, it is NOT your job to try and turn her life around; and most importantly, it is NOT your job to be the sole emotional and financial supporter in any woman's life! A woman who is truly mature and ready for a relationship should enjoy spending time with you but still be able to take care of herself.

Good luck!
 ExecutiveBiker
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 37
left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:01:31 AM
No decent counselor would let ANYONE else make them feel any particular way ... we all know that no one can hurt us emotionally unless we let them ... I am happy every day whether I get cut off in traffic, my dog dies, or my bills are overdue ... Sad is a choice. Recognize an emotion and MOVE ON!

Smile Smile Smile!!

Jonny
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 39
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left feeling used
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:12:20 AM
Iwant2meet... SO what you are saying that where you live there is no ethical rules of NOT getting involved with your patients?

Here in the US you can't get involved with your patients, or former patients, because that will cause you to lose your licensing...

One of the very reasons this can happen is because patients are considered vulnerable, and that the counselor, dr, therapist knows this patients weaknesses, and how emotionally vulnerable they are... As well, it is common for a patient to look upon their counselor as some sort of knight in shining armour. Thus the ethical rules...

Ms gonzofanmel hit the nail on the head.

It is NOT YOUR JOB as a partner to save this girl and her baby. As a counselor, sure, you are supposed to direct her into emotionally healthy relationships... However since when did having someone worship the girl become an emotionally healthy relationship?

You also hit the nail on the head when you said your emotions were clouded, only it was clouded the moment you thought it was ok to get involved with an emotional broken PATIENT!!!!!!!!!

Take some of the advice that is positive, which IS stay out of any relationships until you get some help, and are emotionally ready for someone that isn't a patient...
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