Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into s      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!Page 1 of 45    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
There are two problems with that, you are getting into essentially the legislation of people's personal lives which no one wants and also, who decides intent, whether an individual was intentionally leading someone on or if he merely thought he was ready for a relationship and then discovered he wasn't? Many people are bitter and react just as badly in the case of the latter as they do those that intentionally fool them when they have no intention of getting into a relationship but want someone to have sex with and talk to.

This is a risk we all take, or we choose to remain alone. You need to learn to look out for signs that someone is not who he claims to be without becoming totally jaded and distrustful.
 HeartoGold50f
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 13
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:36:44 AM
I agree with this man totally~!
 HeartoGold50f
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 14
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:39:16 AM
NOT THE MAN above me but AGREE with 97FLS!!!
 secret_scott
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 18
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:42:52 AM
welshfuchsia....no disrespect but, try cutting back on the hair bleach...it's affecting your brain I believe...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 19
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:43:18 AM

what if a guy strings a woman along for months on the belief he loves her and she falls in love with him also and feels ok and ready to have a sexual encounter with him


Oh puhlease!

Let's crowd courts with more frivolous lawsuits. Let's allow unstable women (and men, mustn't be sexist) to file lawsuits against men/women to get revenge.

If a woman, or man, allows her/himself to be strung along for months, that says as much about the stringee as the stringer. And what woman holds out "months" before having sex? If she can wait that long, she should insist on marriage.

That's it! NO SEX UNTIL THE RING IS ON THE FINGER. Then, she can get emotionally reimbursed when she sticks it to him in the divorce.

Ya know, people used to be able to sue over broken engagements and "alienation of affection." Let's bring that back!
 HeartoGold50f
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 20
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:43:21 AM
IN MY OPINION and OTHER QUALITY females opinions....VENUS is a FREAK...and not the type of MAN who cares about women...he just says MEN ARE DOGS and get used to it! Shall women or children or a few men get used to ABUSE too, just because it happens??

You're somethin' else and love having that tough boy image...but you won't meet quality women who are into males who are emotionally, verbally abusive...makes me wonder about your childhood and where your father was?!
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:58:35 AM
Oh please.

Usually when its all over and you THINK clearly, you can see how and why you were played.

Consent is consent.Psst....you don't HAVE to have sex with anyone. If you took part in it you wanted it... Learn from it.
 BKLYNBOY1
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 27
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:02:07 AM
TRICKING ME INTO SEX??? WHERE DO I SIGN UP ???
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:06:32 AM
Wait! Wait!

According to OP's "logic" if one is "played" its ENTIRELY the other persons fault, there is no mutual responsibility....

So that means for example, A man dates a woman, she gets pregnant after telling him shes on BC, he has the right to refuse to support the child, make her have an abortion or put it up for adoption...After all he was tricked!!

Or

Say a needy, "nice" guy hooks up with a woman...She seems perfect, then she needs money,car,trips,homes..and he provides...After all she seems great. A few months later she dumps him.
Now remeber the guy had rose colored glasses on, he was rather needy, she seemed a perfect match....But she lied! It is not his fault at all!

But of course none of these examples are the other persons fault!! They are 100% "victims".


For christs sakes, is personal responsibility a thing of the past?
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 31
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:07:17 AM
Other than rape, for which there are already laws on the books, women are in control of when and for whom they spread their legs.

If they dont take the time to really get to know someone before sleeping with him then its their responsibility to accept the consequences of their actions.

Yet, further validation of the point that once you pass 18, there are no victims in matters of the heart, only volunteers.

From the guys perspective, maybe he was exactly who he said he was and she was just so horrible in the sack that he was completely turned off and never wanted to speak to her again.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 35
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:12:08 AM

IN MY OPINION and OTHER QUALITY females opinions....VENUS is a FREAK...and not the type of MAN who cares about women...he just says MEN ARE DOGS and get used to it!


Whoa! Wait a minute!

First, Venusfreak is female, not male. I looked at her profile twice just to make sure before I wrote this.

Second, excuse me, but "OTHER QUALITY females"? Who gave you carte blanche to decide who is a QUALITY female? Is there a club that only QUALITY females can join and you are the elected Madam President?

I am a QUALITY female and I don't even know what the hell that entails.

Venus is saying that people are responsible for their own actions. Unless a woman is raped, she IS responsible for spreading her own legs. Every woman (or man) who has been duped by a slick talker saw signs but refused to acknowledge them.

If anything, women need to be taught to be more assertive and less gullible BEFORE the fact, not afterwards.

As for comparing buying a car to choosing a lover--the reputations of car salespeople (note the nonsexist language) are notoriously bad, so most people know to exhibit a little savvy on the car lot. Wise car shoppers check things out.

Personally, before I have sex, I refer to the Blue Book and take the man to the mechanic to make sure all of his parts are working. Then I take him for a test drive.

If he breaks down, I'll just junk him.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:36:32 AM
OK now its your "friend" (I am amazed at all the posts in these forums where its a "friend") HTF is one "mislead into sex"???

When we have sex with someone its usually because BOTH PEOPLE WANT TO!!!

Now if things don't work out, oh well.

I am now curious because your friend was "tricked" or "mislead" WHY did she do it??? Does she not like sex? Did she not want to have it?

You know as a woman I can tell you men get tired of the "You tricked me!" crap when it comes to sex.It sets womens lib back 50yrs every time a woman screams it. Men are more sexual beings (the physical) but supposedly we are supposed to be smarter.While they are thinking with the little head we are supposed to be using the big one.

Sex is mutually benificial/pleasurable in this day and age...And if a woman is having sex for reasons other than mutual satisfaction (The days are over where we were supposed to lie back and think of England!) Then I question the womans motives in having sex with said partner.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 44
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:42:23 AM

.i just think its unfair!


If your mother didn't teach this to you, let me, "Life is unfair."
 coolswimom
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 45
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:44:58 AM
Where have all the cowboys gone???
Damn.. guess me and welsh are one of the few who expect people to be generally straight up.. I dont personally think that there need to be laws against people who want to run sexualy rampant from one conquest to the next.. but If thats what your in it for and that is WHAT YOU ARE SAY SO!!! If you are such a STUD then dont be so chicken shit as to hide yourself behind a bunch of veiled promises to unsuspecting women. There is LOTS and LOTS of this going on on the internet as well as other places and IT sucks especially for those of us who are sincerly looking for a mate in life. And have children to raise in the process. This very thing caused me to add to my profile and be VERY specific about what I am looking for and NOT interested in . Im acctualy more in favor of the dont "date him gurl " websites. that post names and stories from women/men who have been victims of some of the worst o f them.. ..and altho I see room overblown ideas I also say that If you dont like that characterization about yourself .. then you may want to look at it some nad consider a change.. These people are "thieves of the heart" and really make it hard for guys that are straight up to get in the door.. those of you guys that are in the later catigory will appriciate that. .. a final comment .. Im not here to put down those who are only here for the play ( as long as they say so ) go for it have fun... nor am I here to pretend to be superior in anyway to them.. but I am supierior to those that LIE to and play head games with those of us who are sincerly seeking .. Ill stand on this anyday of the week!!!
 breezer2
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:46:09 AM
Ahhh being tricked into sex !!
Don't that take you back to your youth when you would tell Betty Ann anything she wanted to hear just to get in her pants and it usually took a while and hard work . Once there you realized it was just a conquest and then what ?

When you "Mature " everybody is suppose to be beyond that childish crap .
Life is a learning process and we sure don't need any more laws just my op.

Breezer
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 51
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:05:46 AM

and maybe should be seen as second class rape??


I've never heard of anything like this in my life. When he pulls his d!ck out, you know what's going on. If you don't want sex, you say no. If he won't stop and forces you into sex, THEN you go screaming rape. But don't go around trying to make men liable for rape when all that happened was that you didn't to use better judgment and keep your legs shut.

Though I don't think it happens that often, I think there's still too many women that claim rape when in actuality they regret sleeping with someone, and they want some way to justify the sexual act.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 53
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:12:42 AM

.but personally i perfer to use my wisdom from my very male dominated up bringing and conform to monogamy rather date what seems pologamists!


Hey, sweetie, although it might be too late for you to stop and salvage any seeming wisdom that you might possess, I suggest that you not say anything else.

Your logic is faulty and contradictory. Are men cavemen? And did your "male dominated" upbringing teach you that they are?

When did monogamy and polygamy enter into this conversation? What does it have to do with the issue at hand? The man who took advantage of your friend obviously wasn't a polygamist or he would have just moved her and all the other women in with him. He would not needed to lie about anything!


the world suffers too much greed and self graticfication and lacks alot of abstinence for the right partner..


Have you practiced abstinence? No? How will you explain that to your "right" partner" That you had to try out other men before you found the right one?


without sounding sexist...because iam full aware women also do this sort of thing to men also! but in my defense as a female maybe women are becoming more and more like cavemen..just to rebel against the sexe,s.


But that whole statement reeks of sexism. When women do "improper" sexual actions--they are only emulating men? Were women pure and innocent before being corrupted by males? It seems that although your upbringing was by wise males, all males are scum and responsible for all sexual impropriety and misconduct.

I am a feminist; I am the first to step forward and speak of the injustices of the patriarchy, but your seeming condemnation of men being the root of ALL evil is a bit off base.

They are only responsible for 99.9%.
 777shy
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 54
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:13:49 AM
I absolutely believe there should be laws against what I refer to as "psychological rape." To fraudulently claim one is looking for a longterm relationship, a partnership, a spouse, and utilize an "act" of "pretense" in that direction, only to sexually, if not monetarily also, steal from others, is indeed an act which should be prosecuted by law. And, I will go so far as to say, that if the victim's children have been involved, in the context of an individual warming up to the victim's children to increase the potency of his/her intended act of fraud, then compensation should be made for that abuse and thievery, as well.
 coolswimom
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 58
 carebear_90630
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:25:20 AM
Bottom line here Welsh, there is already enough of a problem of women having regrets after a sexual encounter. Some are claiming rape, case in point Kobe Bryant, some bimbo, wanted to sleep with a high profile person and saw a chance to make money.
If you make something like this a law, then all of a sudden you would have to have a written statement saying that you consented to a sexual encounter. Plus have to have a statement from the guy explaining all the stuff that was promised to you. If you are going to do that, it kind of takes the romance and spur of the moment lust that so often happens...
Also: if you are going to go to that extreme, then you might as well get married first...

Either you want physical contact or you don't, that is the chance all of us take, male and female, you don't think women lie, sneak and trick guys into getting what they want?
 breezer2
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:39:33 AM
I agree that there is and always will be pigs of both genders and so glad that God gave us a brain to think with even though when it comes to sex the brain is taken out of the equation all together.
After awhile of dating seems to me that everybody has already shown what their priorities are and some people think that sex will change the whole situation and it probably does but not in a positive way in most cases.
Oh and by all means lets let a judge decide our relationships that would further show we don't like using our brain , let someone else decide ....... Geeeeeeez.
If there were no underhanded , liars who would we buy cars from ?
But all and all those must be the guys that are getting all of the dates.... go figure!!

Breeze
 777shy
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 67
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:43:27 AM
You're entitled to your opinion...but, I'll stick with mine. Unless online dating sites are really nothing more than means to a negative end, at least negative for the individual who'd been duped into believing the site was actually a legitimate venue for meeting the potential love of his/her life, then the online dating concept needs to be thoroughly overhauled, and those who are using it for deceptive and fraudulent means, need to be prosecuted (as should all fraudulent use of digital communication). On the other hand, if the site's concept is simply free sex, then it needs to be advertised as such...and nothing more...thereby avoiding the illegalities of false advertising.
 KountMacula
Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 73
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:02:21 AM
That is the stupidest ting I have ever heard! First off.... How could you possibly legislate that? I've got a better idea. Why not employ a dating license, along with a background check and a compulsory I.Q. and aptitude test. That way you could ensure people not only date within their own social strata, but also NOT BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GET TRICKED INTO HAVING SEX!!
Look... people lie, it's just that simple. YOur job as an adult is to sift through the bullshit and get to the truth. Men and women both lie to the oppsite sex for personal gain of some kind or another. Wigs, Hair coloring, control-top panty hose,high heels, make-up, implants etc... All used to make women look better, and to 'trick' people into thinking that you really lookthis way. Because men are visually stimulated ,these enhancements work....well. We know it's smoke and mirrors, but we're guys and for the most part we accept it.That is in no way all that women do to deceive men, but I digress.
As a man I'm confident that I can speak for a good number of other guys and say, when I do see someone who I am sexually attracted to, I would love to just say" Hey there. How are you. My name is "Phillip", and I would really,really,really like tohave sex w/ you as soon as possible please." Yeah right!! That ain't gonna happen !!As men we all know that, so we employ alternate methodology in order to achieve our goals. Movies, wine and dine, sweet talk, etc...Unfortunately, some lie to get the girl. As unsavory, and duplicitous as it is, and I agree that itis, you'vebeen blessed enough to make past the 11th grade you should knowbetter than to listen to everything a suitor says. If I go to a prostitute and she says that I don't need a condom because she's'clean', and I end up w/ a venerial disease as a result, who's really at fault? Me!! because I suspended my own good judgemnet, first by going to a hooker in the first place, and then actaully believeing her.
If you go to bed with a guy who tells you everything you want to hear, and you go for it without checking him out first. If you think w/ your emotions instead of your brain, and overlook things that you probably shouldn't...well ,I own a private island in the South Pacific, I live in a castle, and I'm looking for a wife to share my 300million dollar fortune with.What do ya say??
In other words "Don't be a dumbass"Getting mad at a guy for lying to get sex is like getting mad at a woman for being 'catty'. All women aren't catty,but if you get enough of them together in one place.... Similarly with men. All men don't lie, but if you run across enough, you'll find liars. Its up to YOU and only YOU to figure out who' who.

Also, easing up on that peroxide might attract a differnt brand of man to you as well. No offense, but you have stripper hair. THink about it.
 rsx11s
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 74
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:03:00 AM
What's interesting is if you change the word "sex" to "money" there are already laws against it.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 77
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:09:43 AM
At the risk of being politically incorrect, I must point out that there is another possible explanation for behavior like that--one that would make conviction very difficult.

It could be that after months of wooing, the person might not have actually gotten what he or she hoped for during the sexual encounter. Sometimes people discover that they're just not compatible. It can be very hard to tell someone that it's not working for you, and even harder for a person to hear. Add to that the belief among women that if a man ejaculates he must have been satisfied. That is simply not true.

A guy who's spent time and money and energy, only to find that things aren't what he'd hoped for in bed, can act pretty sh*tty and might say something hurtful to break it off. He might want to paint himself as the bad guy so that the woman can save face and he won't be pressured to come back when it's clearly over to him. (I've known more than one man who had that strategy.)

If you are of the belief that sexual pleasure is the most precious gift that you can give, it can be devastating to give it to someone who doesn't appreciate it or want more. But that doesn't necessarily mean that he or she used you, even while claiming it was all she or he was doing after the fact. For all you know the person is walking away just as bitter and disappointed as you. The person might be hating you for stringing him or her along as well.

Rejection stinks no matter when it occurs. There are plenty of women out there who appear to take glee in making men feel like crap by shooting them down. Shouldn't there be a law against that too?

I understand that rejection is especially hard after the oxytocin kicks in and a woman feels like she's finally set for life--only to have the rug pulled out from under her. I think situations like this are more like a kid's badly skinned knee. The answer is not to pass laws against running. Some reassurance that the "wronged" person is valued and valuable, loved and lovable, desired and desirable, will go a long way toward restoring a woman's self confidence and helping her to get over the feelings of devastation.

Rallying the troops to promote further hate toward men (yes, you claim that it's only some men who act that way, but in fact you can't tell who "those" men are beforehand so we're all tagged) only makes brutal rejections more likely on both sides. After all, if a guy is guilty of deliberate cruelty like that, why would he bother if wasn't harboring some serious hatred toward women?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!