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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? [CLOSED]      Home login  
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 Cntrygrl101
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 1
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? [CLOSED]Page 1 of 140    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Ok, Why is it I always find the guys that turn around and run when they find out I have a daughter? I really don't understand at all.. if they truly want me I am a package deal now. Its not my daughter's fault how she got here or who her sperm donor so to speak is. It is all fine and dandy if you go out with them for what they want, but when the child even gets mentioned... they turn and run the other way. I guess I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life, but hey I have her and she is my number one priority... if they don't like it.. oh well..Then they obviously do not know what kind of awonderful thing in both my self and my daughter that they could be missing out on.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 2
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 1:00:34 PM
If they turn tail and run when you mention your daughter, it's THEIR LOSS!!! There are plenty of men out there who would love to be a part of your life and will be a great step-dad to your daughter. Just keep
 Cntrygrl101
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 3
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 1:08:55 PM
But do you realize how boring and frustrating it gets fishing al lthe time.. It sometimes gets to the point where its not worth it anymore
 lonely052280
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 4
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 1:12:46 PM
trust me i feel you ! I know exactlly what you are talking about. I have the same problem and I am about to give up too. I guess this doesn't help thought does it
 GMCAcadia
Joined: 5/6/2004
Msg: 5
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 1:22:26 PM
Before I got married and had a child of my own, I dated a Single Mother and enjoyed it...
 gnix42
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 6
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 2:58:29 PM
I have been in the dating circuit since my son was 2. It hasn't always been easy tho. I think most men feel competition to be better than the real dad. Give me a break. If you're in their lives, you're better than they are. It's not a deal of "measuring up". It's how much you grow to love the woman and her child. Then the rest comes naturally.
 GMCAcadia
Joined: 5/6/2004
Msg: 7
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:01:12 PM
For me, I think I loved the child more than the mother when I dated a single mother... lol

Also it wasn't hard measuring up, the father had skipped the country, lord knows where he is or went...


I still see the kid from time to time as well...
 dhcracker
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 8
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:06:34 PM
Ever wondered why single women run from single fathers?

Its a two way street just thought I'd throw in that it seems to me single dads have a harder time finding willing women because everyone seems to think we are lacking and just out to find a mom. Maybe its the same but I am partial to my side haha ;)
 sxyeyz428
Joined: 3/6/2005
Msg: 9
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:25:28 PM
Yes it is boring and it is definitely frustrating....however just keep in mind having a father or father figure will not complete you or the childs life! Took me a while to figure that out but I figure when the time is right I will meet the man Im supposed to marry and the man that will be a solid male role model for my girls to look up to .... until then I am thoroughly enjoying the time I get to spend with my kids being a mom. A lot of things would be easier with a man around permanently....then again to think how time consuming it is to have a healthy relationship and set up the proper boundaries(disipline and the such) eh it just wears me thin lol Lastly but certainly not least all single parents must realize that happiness can not be found with someone else until it is found completely within yourself! Hang in there guys things could be worse right LOL
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 10
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:29:58 PM
well said
 GMoH
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 11
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 3:37:12 PM
Y'know... I don't have every "toy" I've ever wanted in life. I think I'm just going to quit working because I'm not making enough money to buy everything I want right now.

Like come on. Gimme a break. Chill out, relax, enjoy life. Do you want billions of meaningless relationships, or one that you can't live without? What's the rush to hurry into something that's just going to end? If you haven't met the right guy yet, big deal. Why talk about giving up just because it hasn't happened yet? Are you saying you want to be in crappy relationships with people who don't want to be around your children? I personally wouldn't want to be involved with someone like that myself, and the fact that they won't talk to me certainly isn't going to discourage me from finding someone who will make an excellent partner. Just relax... good things come to those who wait.
 Cntrygrl101
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 12
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 5:34:18 PM
I'm not saying I am going to give up completely.. I'm just going to sit back relax and figure out what is going on. I love myself and my daughter formost and if someone wants to join our love and happiness so be it. You know how girls always say they are fed up and are turning gay...well I feel the same, but honestly I don't think that I could ever do it. I guess I jsut feel like giving up sometimes.... but then again... like they say good things DO come to those who wait.. I have waited these 26 years, I guess I can wait a bit longer.
 darrellinocala
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 13
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 5:38:13 PM
Please read my profile.

Im a single dad with an 11yr. old girl. When I got divorced the X got my son who is 9 and havent seen him since they left Florida a year ago.

Yes I sure do want a long lasting loving relationship.

Please read mine.
 Shaps
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 14
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 7:45:09 PM
It's not just the kid that makes us run, it's upbringing, personality, and a tons of things.
I've dated 2 single moms, and everything was fine til there true colours came out.
I have no problem in dating a single mom, as long as we get along and she isn't gonna start thinking that I would do more for her kid then for her.
And as that guy said earlier, it is a 2 way street
 davidRN
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 15
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 8:05:47 PM
Any man who runs from a single mother is depriving himself of the most wonderful, genuine love and happiness and joy that can be experienced and if he does run he doesn't deserve to have the honor of being able to be part of their lives anyway!! If he runs he also runs away from knowing one of the most incredible people on earth-a single mother!! Unless a man accepts her children in every way, he doesn't deserve the honor of being in the children's or the mother's lives!!

David
 moondreamer1977
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 16
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 8:33:15 PM
I don't find it so much being a single mom that makes the men tuck tail and run as it is the fact that I can't and won't just drop everything and go at their whim. Single men without kids or custody of their kids especially don't understand what it takes to be a single parent. You have to find a babysitter and that also means time away from your child that you may not be willing to give up at that moment. I totally agree with David though, if they can't completely accept me and my daughter, they're the ones missing out. My kid is wonderful and naturally I think I am too. I think those guys have an issue with being the complete object of your affection. They're not competing with your ex, they're competing with your child and don't want to give up that much attention. Finally though, I'm finding more single dad's out there that understand my situation and thank the good Lord for them. They've become wonderful friends. Everything happens for a reason, so don't count the ones that run, count the ones that stay because they're the ones that matter.
 emc
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 17
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 8:43:34 PM
Somethings not right here.

I would think single guys in your age group who are looking for a long term/permanent kind of relationship wouldn't be turning tail and running with your news. In fact I would guess most guys expect it. I can only guess then that you're not talking about POF guys.

Are you talking about guys in clubs or other social settings. If that's the case then most of the guys in that particular situation aren't looking for something serious right then and there so it's almost understandable then that in those types of situations most would view having a child as an inconvenience and will move on.
 emc
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 18
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 8:56:11 PM
To moondreamer1977

"....Single men without kids or custody of their kids especially don't understand what it takes to be a single parent...."

In defence of single guys - that's a pretty wild exaggeration or oversimplification isn't it? Some guys were raised by single moms, some have sisters who are single moms, some have friends who are single moms, some have staff who are single moms. We've coached kids, trained kids, babysat kids......etc. and we're fully aware of the demands that raising a child entails.

I've heard single moms say that same thing you did 100 times and every time I do I cringe. I don't know a single guy over 25 who doesn't understand what it takes.
 daddysret
Joined: 4/23/2004
Msg: 19
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 9:24:06 PM
I guess that's where Im different. I'll ONLY date mothers. A childless person just doesnt get it when the child has to come first.
 Cntrygrl101
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 20
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 9:32:42 PM
: Somethings not right here.

I would think single guys in your age group who are looking for a long term/permanent kind of relationship wouldn't be turning tail and running with your news. In fact I would guess most guys expect it. I can only guess then that you're not talking about POF guys.

Are you talking about guys in clubs or other social settings. If that's the case then most of the guys in that particular situation aren't looking for something serious right then and there so it's almost understandable then that in those types of situations most would view having a child as an inconvenience and will move on.


Actually i am not sure about POF guys since i have only been on this web site for about 3 or 4 days. I am hoping that they aren't but you just never know. As for meeting them in the bars and what not.. I don't do it because when i go out.. I go to dance not to get drunk and see who i can take home for the night. I am a genuine girl and I would like to find that genuine guy which i know are not at the bars and such....
 GMoH
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 21
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 9:34:33 PM
daddysret: I disagree. When I wasn't a father, I had a friend who was. I fully understood when he couldn't hang out with us because of his child. I didn't expect him to ditch his child for me... nor would I ditch my child for someone, nor expect anyone else to ditch their child for me. Children always have, and always will come first.
 420 guy
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 22
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/23/2005 10:19:02 PM
personally i have never changed my mind about a chick because she has kids, kids can be pretty cool at times. anyguy that would skip a chick jus cause she has kids in my opinion is dumb, cause you never know who your "one" will be
 nixxy
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 23
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/24/2005 5:00:35 AM
does this seriously bother you?

granted I was 15 when i had my daughter, so i cannot remember life before her..but..its never once actually hurt or even bothered me if a man walks away at mention of her. I laugh. Obviously, not someone I want to be involved in. And if I didnt have a child, it wouldnt have worked out in the end anyway, if hes that type of person.
 katehopeeden
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 24
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/24/2005 7:36:34 AM
I agree, their loss.
I always tell who ever I am dating that I have children... What mom doesn't talk about her kids?? But, I don't introduce the guy I am seeing to my kids unless something serious has been established. I don't want men coming and going in my daughters' lives. So unless the guy I am seeing is serious about where the relationship is going, then he never meets my girls.
~H
 Chatpilot
Joined: 9/5/2004
Msg: 25
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/24/2005 2:19:00 PM
i've never dismissed a woman based on whether she has children or not. It really makes no difference to me. Years ago I dated a woman with whome I got very serious. I became very attached to her daughter and when we broke up I was pretty sad though.

So I agree with keeping the guys away from the children until you're sure things will work out.
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