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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Can you see your younger self in the forums?      Home login  
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 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 2
Can you see your younger self in the forums?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
It's hard to resist the temptation to alert younggins...especially since I think it's fair to say that my life can effectively serve as a warning to others!
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 4
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:28:29 AM
I cannot see my younger self in the forums. I grew up an Overseas Brat, which caused problems for me of their own, and matured as a child of the Viet Nam Era, which caused others. I lived through assassinations, a miserable war, rejection by the society in general, and somehow survived the '60's intact...and, in fact, I even remember them. Well, most of them.

The "younger" people of today are not nearly as 'far along' as I was at their age (I say this having children of most of those age groups) and I wonder what that these forums will look like in 25 years, when they are asking these questions.
 firstlight
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 5
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:42:03 AM
Younger people today view the world in a different light than I did when I was their age.
For one thing when I was their age I was a young wife and mother, working a full time job, helped my mother and younger siblings at home, and volunteered in the community. I had been raised as a Catholic and was married to my high school sweet heart. I knew nothing of dating, thought you married for life, and thought that honesty was the best policy.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 6
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:59:41 AM
I DO see myself in some of the posts, and cringe that I was ever THAT naive. But I SO happy I'm over THAT amount of angst. I TRY not to say "Well, you're young, you'll realize later that..." but I HAVE done it a few times. I guess I'm just a wise crone now, I can't let my "wisdom" (har) be left unsaid.

I don't think my life is horrible without a man (well, I have many men, anyway--so without a "long term relationship"), so I don't think I am bitter about being "alone" , anyway. In fact, I NOW have my mom (widow) telling me "Now I understand why you have been single, it's so easy, and I can do anything I want any time I want!" Duh, mom. And I ALSO have my 30-yr-old niece saying, ""Candy, I'm beginning to think you had it right all the time." (She's having problems in her LTR)

I think I have it right, too.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 7
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:24:06 AM

Can you see your younger self in the forums?


OMG You expect me to remember that far back???????

Ok, it took awhile, and the answer is NO.. I had to grow up very quick, and some of these forum posts by the younger generation seem to be the minds of a pre-teen, JMO

 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 8
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:34:58 PM
Yes,
ALL of them.
LOL
 BBQ Spider
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 12
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 9:01:31 AM
God yes and it is driving me in-sane. Is there to be no progress? Ever?

I'm not perversely or otherwise satisfied, I'm sad for them.

Maybe this is just one more hoop to jump through, as part of the Middle Ages -- accepting as every generation has to, that the younguns have to learn it for themselves, and can't be told anything (just like me)

A young coworker announced a keen insight as though he were the first to ever notice: the stores get more crowded this time of year, making it harder for him to do His Christmas shopping.

He is already voting. He will be breeding soon. He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything.
(just like me)

:emoticon of aged person thumping head repeatedly into a wall:
 ~FishLipzzz~
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 13
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 9:32:41 AM

Just wondering if in the course of reading threads beyond this Old Folks Home called "Over 45", if you ever see posts by younger ones who remind you of yourself years ago ...


Very rarely. Some of the stuff that young people (and older people) have to deal with now in the dating world are things that I’ve either never had to deal with or didn’t run into until I was well into my 40’s and had started dating again after a long hiatus.

But then, waaaay back when I was young, I dated people who were already a part of my social network. We all treated each other with a lot more respect because we all knew one another and we had to see and interact with each other, in person, on a frequent basis. Getting to know someone from a profile, email communication and in isolation from other people, is completely different.
 pitbull pete
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 14
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 10:56:57 AM

Just wondering if in the course of reading threads beyond this Old Folks Home called "Over 45", if you ever see posts by younger ones who remind you of yourself years ago,


No cannot say that I do. Today I'm just as brash and ornery as when younger only difference is I'm wiser and much more dangerous.

Pete
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 15
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 11:22:58 AM
Unfortunately, yes I do occasionally see my younger self here.
The difference is I wrote down my woes in diaries. I would have died of embarrassment for anyone to read them. Now, they post for the whole world to see.

Edit: \/\/\/\/
DB, don't you remember all those angst-ridden diary entries? "He said" "I said"..which reminds me - must burn diaries. All I need is for my kid to read what an idiot I was about love..
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 16
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 11:38:25 AM
no, i can't say that i do.

but i think the dating process is different for the never-married.

if that makes sense at all...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 17
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 11:46:04 AM
Most of the non-combat posts on the forums are questions that people have about relationships that failed or are failing. I have to say that when I did have the experience of a failing relationship, I had a lot of the same questions in my own mind. In those days, however, I asked my friends, read all the books on psychology and interpersonal dynamics I could find, and spend loads of time analyzing my own experiences and trying to identify my own contributions to those results.

Here, the forums are an instant outlet for these questions, a form of interpersonal Google engine, that throws up a wealth of opinion from many people who have both the experience of failure and the same kinds of questions in mind. So, while I can see myself in the questions, I largely don't see myself much in the answers.

On some level, it would probably be more useful to the younger crowd to read a forum filled with posts of people who have come to terms with their experiences and responsibility for them rather than with people who are still living the experiences. However, I have to echo the sentiments of redarcangel in that everyone has to take a few lumps before they get to be able to understand the language and meaning of interpersonal relationships, and begin to learn from whatever actual knowledge is out there. In the case of my own kids I spent a lot of time trying to explain my own view about what is going on in the social scene, but I can always tell that while they listen carefully and think about it, they really don't understand what I am saying, and have even less ability to control their emotions to the extent needed to apply much of it.

As to the general population on the forums, no, I don't try to warn them about things. In the end, what do I know anyway. Most people figure it out their own way after they take a few hits, and their way is almost certainly not my way.
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 18
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 11:49:29 AM
^^I've given up advising young posters, RG. They just get angry and start arguing with you - it's like dealing with cyber-teens and I've got the real deal at home.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 19
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 11:54:50 AM
GOOD POINT, Friendly Free Spirit ... I GOTTA go thru my papers and destroy ... must destroy all implication (or proof) that Mom was an emotional mess occasionally!!! yeah ... I'll have to do that! cuz, otherwise, THEY'll have to read all that garbage!

maybe I should have my computer's memory scrubbed clean, too ... yeah ...

now THERE'S A GOOD NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ... clean the emotional fuzziness and vulnerability proof from my house!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 20
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 12:04:25 PM
Well, what happens when you were born old? That would be me. I feel a little left out of this discussion. Of course I have been left out of many discussions irregardless of how old I was. That has been the story of my life. Excuse me while I go find my dentures.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 21
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 12:07:45 PM

Well, what happens when you were born old? That would be me.


Well, you could make a female version of Benjamin Button and get fabulously rich.
 rosebuds57
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 22
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 12:11:05 PM
FFS don't burn your diaries. Your daughter will really appreciate them someday. I have my mother's five year diary from when she was a young woman in the late 30's early 40's. It is such a treasure and I cherish that I have it. The words she has written about her experiences from a time when I did not exist give me a different view of her than as just my mom. They show me that she was a woman first, with views that were not so different to mine when I was young, even though we were generations apart.

OT: Yes, I do see my younger self in some of the posts here. For me it is a reminder that there "aint nothin' new under the sun".....and the assurance that even when you think things aren't so great.....this too shall pass.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 23
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 1:18:00 PM
It was reading my mom's diaries after my dad died that convinced me to burn mine. . . . *Very* difficult to watch an over fifties woman regress to a teenager dating, lol! ("He only brought her because he knew I'd be there. . . .")("I hate Lola, hate hate hate her!")(etc). This a woman who was cogent and powerful in every other area of her real life. Go figure.

 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 24
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 1:29:58 PM

It was reading my mom's diaries after my dad died that convinced me to burn mine. . . . *Very* difficult to watch an over fifties woman regress to a teenager dating, lol! ("He only brought her because he knew I'd be there. . . .")("I hate Lola, hate hate hate her!")(etc). This a woman who was cogent and powerful in every other area of her real life. Go figure

Wooby, you've just convinced me! Sorry Rosebuds, but ..the diaries are fire fodder..lol..
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 25
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Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 1:31:59 PM
still having kids in the teens and young 20's, i know this is a very different world. i try to teach them to get out of the box, read between the lines, find common underlying denominators. usually what i have said comes to flower a few years later.

on the forums, i deliberately mention my lymes, adoption, acoa, etc. so people in those situtations can contact me. they often do. sometimes the kids and sometimes the parents. sometimes those with similar disablities or situations. for the most part though, i attract the thinkers and the dreamers, because i am "conceptual". when they get to know me in real life, they find i have a very strong sense of humor. in real life, that is what attracts a lot of the younger kids to my door. they can talk to me, as long as not my three. they are still proving they are "independent". those are the hardest years for a mom, especially an older mom. you wonder if you will live to "see the day". but, they must lead their own lives. i can't take their inventories for them and must balance what i can teach or give with what they are just not ready yet to learn. it works both ways. my kids teach me about "today's world". not a pretty picture or maybe we just get to see more of it with the media than before.
 andso.itgoes
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 26
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 2:13:48 PM
Same with having children. As much as I'd like to spare them the pain of my mistakes by sharing my experience - they are not always interested to listen. I didn't listen so well at that age either. Perspective and circumstances can be different even if the situation sounds similar. Even as much older adults we don't always ask for advice because we really want advice. And when it comes right down to it, I really don't know a hell of a lot more than I did at 18.
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 27
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 2:20:29 PM
I do.....and it helps me balance my view on them. I was one of those that dressed very provocative and heck sometimes still do......The difference the younger generation is smarter, quicker and most know what they want. They are more friendly to their friends....and are more aware of politics, religion and the news. I have seen them set goals and reach them easier and quicker than my generation. Not everything about the younger ones is bad.....in fact I see a lot of good. They younger generation isn't so afraid to try on new things. Their generation isn't perfect but neither was ours. I am hearing the same moans and groans as I did in my younger years....
 wishingwell555
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 28
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 5:29:33 PM
No I don't have the impulse to warn anyone.
Everyone has to live their own life, make their own mistakes,
and Hopefully learn from them.
 bodypro8
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 29
Can you see your younger self in the forums?
Posted: 12/13/2009 6:23:00 PM
I have absolutely no desire to waste my spittle on young people. I didn't listen, why should they? Do you really suppose that wisdom is transferable? I can't even always use the wisdom I have learned myself because it doesn't transfer. Unless you superimpose some kind of ersatz "wisdom" onto situations that only appear to be familiar.

That's how you end up being close minded. I do see a lot of folks playing that game in these forums. The old man on the mountain kind of thing.

I survived my mistakes and excesses, you stub your own toes buddy. I don't care much. Unless I know you enough to care.

There was some old fool that always had the same "message" in an AA meeting I used to frequent. "You young people don't have to go down the road I did..."

I was always thinking, "Shut up old man. You had your fun..."

He was in his late fifties. I couldn't stand the guy.

In closing: I wish I was dead already. There's a little wisdom for you.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Can you see your younger self in the forums?