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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > After all the first's and then what?????      Home login  
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 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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After all the first's and then what?????Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Intellectual nut kicking can make you feel better but as far as something productive, you look and see if there were signs that this individual lacked integrity. You look at the things you learned about yourself during the relationship and you ultimately decide you are going to get over it and not let the man continue to hurt you by doing something like staying away from men or believing that the next guy cannot be trusted.

There is no such thing as a waste of time. You were happy for the time that you were in the relationship and I am sure there are ways you grew as a person that you do not recognize now because you are hurt and you are pissed.

Give yourself some time, appreciate the relationship for what it was, and revel in the knowledge that he was dumb enough to let you go. He did you a favor because you are now available when the right guy comes along.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 7
After all the first's and then what?????
Posted: 1/12/2008 5:41:30 PM
When I was much younger I have SLEPT with a guy on the first date. He invited me to his house. When I got back home there were those sweet messaged on my answering machine... GUESS WHAT HAS HAPPENED AFTER???????

We have been dating for 3,5 years exclusively, traveled the world together. He asked me to marry him. I was still in school and not ready. We eventually went in a separate directions... No arguing, screaming and crap. I have nothing less than great memories from that relationship. And YES I have SLEPT with him on the FIRST date...
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 16
After all the first's and then what?????
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:51:23 AM
"I took a risk and actually met with this man ,"

YES, that is what we call Dating. Is that not what most of us are here for? Are you insinuating that had you emailed back and forth for weeks or months or spent hours and hours on the phone, [and decided not to meet] that THAT would not have been a waste of time? You MIGHT be able to find out a great deal about someone by investing a great deal of time in communication BEFORE you meet. But what people SAY or write may not quite be accurate. The only REAL way to get to know someone [IMHO] is to spend time with them. Can't hide the real them quite as easily...

What if you had not had sex with him on the first date or at all? Would that make any difference? In the time you spent together, did you do other things than have sex? Weren't you learning about each other by spending time together? Could he have just decided by spending time together, that you two were not a "good fit" or one that was good enough for him? Does having sex with someone mean that they need to stick it out for 6 months at least? A year?

I am neither pointing fingers at either of you nor defending him. Maybe I haven't a clue here as the shortest relationship I have ever had was 2 years... just my 2 cents worth.
 toolbelt46
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 17
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After all the first's and then what?????
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:57:59 AM
it seems you never really get to know anyone fully until u meet. you can spend months chatting online or even on the phone, but until the rubber hits the road (you meet), the aura meter never starts ticking. that is what "chemistry" is all about. it's the questions between the questions on your wants and needs questionaire.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > After all the first's and then what?????