Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Aurora772
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 7
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
OP, I think you're talking about something different than just persistence. This guy feels like you are now "his", which means he's gone from trying to get your attention to assuming that he has your heart! Slow down there, mister. The first might be charming; the latter is a red flag.
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:54:13 PM
My personal favorite is when you tell someone, very politely, that you're not interested and thank them, but you want to move on....whatever. I hate it when they ask...why...what have I done...if only you'd meet me...don't you understand...I think we'd be perfect together.

Another for me...calling me hun or babe right off. I'm not one to use endearments on people unless there's truly something there...I detest feeling somthered and like I'm being backed into a corner, so to speak.
 TheReason_
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 10
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:55:53 PM
I have a few people i've met on here on my msn. As a rule I never contact them when they come on. If they are on and they want to talk I figure they'll hit me up. I don't want to be one of those people who say hi every time someone logs on, that would be annoying.

I rarely IM people here as well, for the same reason.

 Eric48
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 11
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:40:50 PM
It sucks being popular I guess guess ... but fortunately for me, I don't have that problem.

I just need you to look someone up for me in your phone book there ... and maybe if you get a chance later (when you can get away from your new husband) a recipe for Swedish meatballs.

 nogo3
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 15
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:35:43 AM
i can't understand why so many people complain about unwanted types of received emails when that little block button is on all emails.
learn to use the block button

 kariharte
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 18
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:51:56 AM
I'd say a turn off and I changed my profile to be more specific as to how I view the whole getting to know someone.

It seems to go over some people's heads though (or they never read the profile before contacting me).

Some persistance in real life has paid off for s few guys who I was initially not interested in, but usually that's because we were thrown together in social settings enough by well meaning friends and got to know each other better.

I like to give many people a chance if they seem to have similar interests even if physically I am not attracted right away. But being too pushy, not paying attention to what I am saying and not being able to get into an easy flow conversation all adds up to me finally having to say 'not interested, best of luck'... I rarely feel the need to block as if they try to pursue after that I just get real blunt, but not nasty as that is not needed and just opens up an opportunity for a 'smear fest'.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:57:09 AM
Yes, it IS annoying....but...there are a lot of desperately needy people out here. Go to your "email settings" and block IMs. Then be VERY selective to whom you give an alternative internet messaging ID.
There's a vast difference between being persistent and being a control freak.
 janaaz1
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 22
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:41:08 AM
Listen to Aurora772. The man continually gives great advice. He really does seem to have excellent insight when he gives his opinions. I've noticed this in many of the threads he's responded to......
 BDRT
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 24
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:54:53 AM

OP, I think you're talking about something different than just persistence. This guy feels like you are now "his", which means he's gone from trying to get your attention to assuming that he has your heart! Slow down there, mister. The first might be charming; the latter is a red flag.

Exactly! And more often than not, these men are not sincere, turn out to be scammers, or some other type of person you just really DON'T want to meet.
 blaqquesylk
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 25
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:56:56 AM
I once met a guy who was very handsome, retired and promised to "give" me everything. At first the attention was nice but then it moved on to being pushy. No he didn't give me anything, i'm not materialistic. It was just a turn-off because he was coming on to strong too soon.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 26
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 9/30/2018 7:15:25 PM
Most of the time it's a turn-off because it's from someone you're not interested in. Just the word choice "persistent" implies a nuisance, like a telemarketer. If it's someone I'm into, then it's not "persistent", it's "interested" or some other flattering adjective.

I have a co-worker who fits that description. He's so adamant about wanting me to go out to some club with him, so much so that other co-workers have mentioned to me, "Wow, he sounds very eager." I keep declining and he keeps asking me out. It's annoying, weird and very unattractive, even though the guy himself is physically attractive and I used to have hugest crush on him when he first started working there over a year ago. I feel like responding, "Go ask someone else." I'm sure it's not hard to find a woman to go to a club with you when you look like him...unless your approach, behavior and game are just terrible.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 27
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 9/30/2018 10:57:45 PM
To be honest when I first started this online dating thing I did need a bit of a push.
I’d been asked several times by various men but kept declining.
Several were persistent but one guy text me one day when all I had planned was a visit to Costa. He drove quite the distance to see me and we had a good couple of hours chat....there....the spell was broken
He was a kinda pushy guy but I liked that.
I need someone strong to match me.

Pests however need squatting :)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/1/2018 4:20:39 PM
Persistence with women never netted me a thing. So, it was once, and I was done. Besides, no one ever told me any different. I was told to not be pushy. Nothing else was working at the time, so it was worth trying. That netted me nothing. Now I just don't give a hoot.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 29
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/2/2018 7:13:02 AM
What you are talking about is stalkers. Um, no, we don't like stalkers. Are you crazy?!
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/2/2018 7:22:16 AM
Sisaa the reason you think it implies nuisance is those guys who use it don't know what their doing.

Your out on a date with a guy, he asks you stick around and continue enjoying the night together instead of just ending the date. You got nothing going on the next day, and sitting at home watching your favorite show or being with someone who wants to be around you, spend time with you and showing it by inviting you to stay and do things. Let me guess your grabbing your bowl of ice cream watching the netflix show thinking God he was a pest, wish he wouldn't call me or ask me again? He won't ever he gave you an opportunity and you don't like a guy who is persistent good call.

No I think since you are into him and he gave you a good pitch with his "persuasive" charm and showing interest in the real you that your happy to oblige since you have an open schedule and damn he is fun to be with. Now how are you liking persistent attitude.

It's not the persistence it's the guys who think they know how to use and when their timing is off, they don't have the ability with communication to increase your attraction so they fail.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/2/2018 9:00:03 AM
I knew a man who was so persistent that I finally married him.

;-)
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/2/2018 7:43:32 PM

Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?


Persistent?
Or pestering?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/2/2018 8:20:00 PM
Multi-level marketing comes to mind...
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2018 10:51:40 AM

I knew a man who was so persistent that I finally married him



^^^ His persistence was rewarded , the man was lucky & became " closer " to you ^^^

*lyrics - " How soft a whisper can get, when you walked through a crowded space..
............... He heard every word you said, and remembered that..
............... EVERYDAY, he got a little closer to you..

CLOSER TO YOU by the Wallflowers ..
> turn it up ^
heart /sun
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2018 1:24:52 PM
I tend to have more anxiety over the idea of meeting someone so there's a fine line where persistance is concerned. A guy needs to be just persistant enough to convince me he's interested but not pushy if I tell him I'm not interested. I do not have the confidence to initiate anything on my own so persistance will pay off with the right guy.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2018 2:24:16 PM
I say what I mean, and mean what I say.

Don't believe me when I say no, and you are just going to piss me off.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2018 2:34:29 PM
msg#31:
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Message: I knew a man who was so persistent that I finally married him.


Just to be clear, we were both at a place in our lives where we were looking for a long term commitment. I enjoyed being persuaded that he was the real deal.
If I had not been interested, of course it would have been a turn-off at some point if my 'NO' fell on deaf ears. Have had that as well. Not fun.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2018 6:54:34 PM
I hate being annoyed by someone who doesn't understand no.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 39
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 10/19/2018 10:18:08 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE&t=95s
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?