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 AUTHOR
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 11
What have you learned from online dating ?Page 1 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I have learned that the ladies at the singles clubs really AREN'T as ugly as I thought
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 14
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:22:54 PM
What i have learned is alot of people either outright lie or omit critical pieces of the puzzle. Putting does not smoke in a profile does NOT mean TRYING TO QUIT. Divorced in a profile does not mean we are still married, he left me. Etc. I can be open and honest. I have nothing to hide. All one has to do is ask me. Why the others i have met can not do the same? Good question............
 Nachogirlfriend
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 15
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:25:24 PM
I have learned to blow up the picture BEFORE responding to an email.
Also that when a man writes a profile and DOESN'T say he is single or divorced it usually means he is married.

~T~
 superlaf
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 20
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:55:37 PM
I agree w/ much of what you say, but have also learned that online dating is just about as reliable as "real life". There are liars and cheats everywhere... so I expect nothing different on line. I've met some super people here... and a couple shmucks, but all's fair in this game. It just takes time and common sense to sort'em out!

I remain optimistic that eventually I'll meet my match... maybe in real life, maybe here? Who knows?
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 28
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:10:00 PM
that Steve is a really nice man
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 37
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:44:58 PM
Ding, Ding, Ding!

We have a winner!


Belly, kudos. Come claim your prize.
 MsTennis
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 39
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:02:19 PM
I learned that you have to really weed out the frogs from the princes. And furthmore...I might have passed up alot of princes...you never know!!!!
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 49
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 11:55:48 PM
I've learned that if you post even a reasonably ok photo on p of f, dozens of guys will write to you immeadiately. Most of them will be looking for a hook-up, but won't admit that until a few emails back and forth. Some of the guys will be looking for a girlfriend, but they'll be 20 years younger or older than me, or will have nothing at all in common with me, for instance, they will love sports and monster trucks, staying home on weekends and live in rural new hampshire, but will write to me in downtown boston, a girl who works 65 hours a week, likes travel, art museums, theatre, etc., just because they liked my photo.( Then they will post on the forums that no one ever responds to their emails.)


I deal with this by sending photos only to the guys i contact, and usually send out only a few messages at a time, so I have time to correspond with the guys who answer me. I've met a few nice people like this.

Obviously, this means for the guys that a thoughtful profile is the key. It probably makes more sense for the guys, who seem to greatly outnumber the ladies, to put thought into their profile, rather than send long introductory emails that never get answered. Some nice girl in your neighborhood will find you eventually!
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 50
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/15/2008 2:20:07 AM
I have learned that ' ladies'[if they truly are*] that post no pic, treat showing their pic as if they are giving away their virginity. Thus I move onto profiles that post a pic
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 65
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:19:24 PM
Pictures! None of those anachronisms will substitute a couple of face and full body pictures!
 40Chev
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 81
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:43:07 PM
1) I haven't had a match since Superman died

2) Patience (Monty; patience)

3) To shut off my "Viewed a profile" thingy

4) That the odds are pretty good if I find someone of interest - it's not reciprocal

5) POF has an odd sense of geography - matches from the next state will show up - yet it skips over the lady 10 miles down the road in the next town.

6) I get more matches if I dial down the age group about a decade or so

7) Noone seems to be able to answer my query about "If opposites attract - why do sites insist on matching us up?"

8) I'm not getting any younger

9) Attraction seems to be directly proportional to distance

10) The forums aren't nearly as fun as they used to be
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 90
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:55:18 AM
What have I learned from online dating?
Bad ways
A belligerent attitude
A warped sense of humor
That there must be something wrong with me
that being half a couple IS NOT necessary to my personal happiness and wellbeing.
That you don't have to be crazy to do online dating but it sure as hell helps.
That I've met some fascinating people and made some wonderful friends( not just online but real world interactions) that I'd never have met otherwise.I trace back some of my current social enjoyments to meeting guys from dating sites.
That finding a new SO in middle age is difficult. There are factors at work, and some that have stopped working( like the need to reproduce and develop a family unit)that are kind of unique to 45+ to oh say, 70+.
I've discovered a streak of pure cussedness I didn't know I had...
Cindy O
 catch22_
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 93
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:53:53 PM
what did i learn? .........not a damn thing!
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 106
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/18/2008 7:54:06 PM
That a couple of reasonable assumptions that I had about online dating when I started, were completely wrong.

1) That participating in online dating would result in significant real dating. I was actually concerned that having too many first contacts outstanding would result in awkward scheduling/time problems. Seems kind of silly now.

2) That some writing skill and a good profile would be a significant advantage.

The forums have been enlightening. Some of it useful. Some entertaining. A great deal is depressing. Narrow minded attitudes, particularly the notion that anyone who has lived their life differently is broken and, therefore, undateable are much more prevalent than I expected.

More from viewing profiles than forums:

1) Racism is alive and well. Excluding people with marked racial preferences seemed like a good idea until I noticed how many people this excluded.

2) Discrimination based on religion or lack of religion is far more common than I expected, even in California. I expected this in the Midwest. But California?

Silly things like the average female height being two inches shorter than I thought. Kind of a bummer for tall guys like me.
 4408joseph
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 110
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Thoughts on online dating ?
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:53:18 AM
I tell it how it is in my profile.... I've considered POF to be BLIND dates... I even would consider meeting someone without a picture...

The dates NEVER look like their pics... One stated she was 5'7" average, and was really like 5'2" with an azz so big it had it's own zip code.


I have to say that overall, I'm disappointed when most men claim to be 6'1 and when they show up they are MAYBE 5'10" at MOST......


and yes I hear this all the time from my POF female buddies...

I tell ya... My buddies in the REAL world only add a couple inches where you can catch them in that lie in the locker-room...

I really don't understand the height and weight lie..


 sambucadawg66
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 114
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:54:44 AM
people want the world, yet they complain that it's spinning!
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 115
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/22/2008 7:11:28 PM
I have learned that there are many beautiful women needing companionship. Many divorced women trying to find new love. Online dating is not just for lonely and desperate unattractive people.
 _JAFO_
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 122
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:16:09 AM
I learned that when a man wants to meet right away it has nothing to do with his high level of attraction to the individual. He doesn't want to "waste" more time than he has to if it looks like she's not going to put out. What it really means is that he's in a big azz hurry. He's in a hurry to size her up. He's in a hurry to "strike." He's also in a hurry to move on the the next woman. ...so many women, so little time.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 123
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:51:45 AM
1. People are too picky. They have a large list of requirements, they will reject someone because of a lame reason, or they always think they can find someone better.
2. Have unrealistic expectations for the first date/meet. They expect instant chemistry with a person that they have talked to by email or phone, but haven't seen yet.
3. People lie about many things such as height, weight, age, profession, martial status etc
4. People are rude. They stop talking to you without any notice when they lose interest. At least send an email or text message telling the other person that there is no connection.
5. Internet dating is an ego boost for some people. They want the attention from getting many emails, but they aren't seriously interested in dating anyone.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 128
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 1:17:49 PM
i myself have learned not to expect too much from the first few dates with one person (if it gets that far, depending on MUTUAL goals & expectations),.. and that Good Things Take TIME *sigh*
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 149
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:05:23 AM
When it's typed in their profile ...wants a woman who will "take risks communicating" and to say what she's "actually thinking"............... you either keep your mouth shut or run when you see this. Please, take my advice. lol.

The person who says, "I have NO baggage, I don't expect you to either". This is always interesting.......unless you happen to be 5 years old, everyone has baggage if you've lived long enough that is. It's all in how you carry this baggage and NOT live IN it. IMHO.

I have learned that people put up 25 year old pictures, but it doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to see that when you come upon one of them.

*jldude* - What does the *j* represent? Jaded? Speak for yourself

Edit to add: *curveyone* (below)- re the "must love dogs/cats" .........well, I will only hazard to guess that they want to narrow their dating pool down even more than they already have once you have concluded reading their profile.~grins~ I have dogs, I don't expect anyone to love them either. lol.
 robk1969
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 152
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:24:28 PM
Couple of points first:


1] My idea of "average " or a "a few extra lbs" and others ideas of "average and " a few extra lbs " is two very different things . If you are as round ,as you are tall ,then Darlin , you are not "average "or "a few extra lbs ". If you have so many chins that your head is shaped like a pineapple ,you are not "average " or " a few extra lbs" My profile states clearly BBW { a term I hate .See # 4} , but at least I am honest.


I agree:

I would have to agree with this and just from another perspective I can't begin to account for how many times I have seen "Athletic" being used in a very wrong way. Athletic for starters does not mean "thin", this is why "thin" is another option to choose from, not to mention how many times I have seen this used and thought... that should really be a "few extra pounds" choice.


Separated still means married , in my opinion


I can't really agree with this:

From a legal perspective it is somewhat accurate but being legally seperated where both parties have no intention of making amends is hardly married. I have been seperated for about 15 months, for a variety of reasons we have not completed the paperwork as of yet, one of them really is that neither of us are in any hurry to re-marry so the paperwork is merely a formality at this point. If you had suggested that a couple that had only been seperated for a couple of months were still married I might be inclined to agree with you .


8] What does rarely mean ? Folks will go on and on about how they drink "rarely " and yet the first place they want to meet you is at a bar . I have no issue with a drink or two ,but if ya are bellying up to the bar and drinking until closing ,then to me that doesn't mean "rarely .


I hear ya on this one and to some degree I think its a database issue with the site for not having some of the key words for such descriptions, such as "occasionally" smoker. The options sound like "I smoke once a month", "I smoke 8 packs a day", I don't smoke". Another thought that came to mind with this comment was... Can you confirm this person goes out and drinks like this 3+ times per week? Or is this just a person getting carried away due to not getting out very often?


I have learned through online dating that children equals baggage


Sadly this term has been in use for a long time, far longer than computers have been around.

Okay here is the very little I have learned from online dating:

1. Most men view online dating as a place to get lucky (thanks for making an already complex scenario that much more difficult).

2. Online dating has turned into the equivelant of a job search, you submit your "resume" out for review, it gets a glance at best against a very wide assortment of local applicants. If you get lucky, that really cool paper you used and the very clean font you picked get's noticed and you then may make it to a "chat interview". During the chat interview you are generally drilled for the most common concerns; Marital status, height, weight , addtional photo requests, current job status etc. Providing this goes well you may advance to the next interview stage; the telephone interview, during this phase many of the previous questions will be gone over again but in more detail and finally if all goes well it may evolve into the actual interview in person process. All in all, I am not entirely decided on the whole "online dating" thingy as of yet. I do like the fact that I can do some screening of who I meet etc. just not sure if I like where it is heading. I would not be surprised with how technolgy is progressing in areas such as "biometrics" to see my grandchildren one day simply allowing for DNA analysis to manage the entire process...

3. I have learned that there are a lot more beautiful people local to me than I realized and that if nothing else it's not a bad place to meet up with people I would most likely otherwise have never bumped into.

4. I have also learned that I am a very poor self promoter!

Cheers!
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 175
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:07:48 PM
'psychotic'??^^^ SO Blessed What a woman told you on a date she has 'kidney failure'? and, omg,op, "after all those e-mails, and phone calls, and a whole 35mile drive to dinner with her she tells you... HOW DARE she Be HUMAN.... (you not only mention this poor woman in your post, but in detail in your profile-truely classless- MAYBE the woman (who was Brave enough to think she could TELL you) needed a KIND person to socialize with? thank God she didnt tell you after you were in a serious relationship with her!! you said "that women who have major diseases "shouldn't even be dating".... that is so sad... you are sad.... i have already posted in this thread before, but when i was reading through it to see other PoFr's answers, i am really dissapointed that you sound/talk like you do... how very narrow-minded... What have I learned from on-line dating? just like in 'real-Life', there are miserable women AND men out there^^^ Hugs to all...
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 179
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:40:54 PM
Mr. LD.. you need to Chill, and re-read what You wrote/write... you WERE speaking about this womans' "kidney failure"... NOT "a major disease that could kill you".... and NO i Did Not say its 'perfectly ok for a woman to deceive'. Now, for YOUR benefit & ****ing, you are taking things out of context and twisting things around... I said "that there W-O-M-E-N and MEN both ONLINE and in 'real-Life' who make it rough/deceive.... you need to think before you open your mouth & type.... i will choose not to get nasty & insulting like you, for its obviously something you can't see that you do... shame on you...
 jon525
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 181
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What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:30:12 AM
I hope you never get sick.
I have a rare and uncurable blood condition, you can't catch it from me and my pictures don't show it. But the bottom line is it still killing me. Those of us that are not perfect find it interesting just how many people reject us. I do tell those I date and because it is so personal I might weight till the first date. Wait till 15 doctors tell you your dieing and see how you feel?
Jon
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