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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?      Home login  
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 mio310
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 1
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Divorced men seem to always trade up to a younger and prettier wife with each divorce. Men become better looking as they age. Women under 30 seem to be able to get any man they want but after 30 a women who is a doctor is lucky to get a janitor for a boyfriend. Isnt it depressing to get a lower quality mate with each successive divorce? Isnt it embarrassing when your ex, friends, and family see the loser you had to settle for. Some women just give up and go to the Caribbean and hire black gigalo.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 2
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:55:51 PM
it's not embarrassing, because i'm not gonna have to settle for anyone.. i'd rather be happily alone than lonely with the wrong person
 mio310
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 3
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:57:31 PM
Why not secretly go to the Caribbean? No one will know.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 4
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:00:13 PM
"Why not secretly go to the Caribbean? No one will know."

lol, it's funny you say that.. i've been thinking over the past couple of months how nice it would be to move to Jamaica or some such place.. but for the slower less cluttered lifestyle and warmer clime.. hadn't thought of the *man* aspect... hmmmmmmm, bonus!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 5
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:06:16 PM
Lower quality? lol, oh my... what have you been smoking mio310?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:27:37 PM
So no woman will settle for YOU? Wow...what a surprise!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:28:39 PM
I guess it depends on what one considers quality. Many women that have been with someone that is purportedly socially superior may find that they are living a nightmarish existence. When they find a man that will treat them decently, it apparently does not matter what he does for a living. There are also men who could be anything they want and choose to work with their hands.

I have also known several men that have married the petite, pretty women only to find that their helplessness is a real pain in the ass when they have to carry them through the relationship. Some even find that you can't talk much to someone that is pretty but not the brightest bulb in the box, and it is all window dressing, so they choose more substantial partners that are not the arm candy.

Guess it all depends on how jaded you are and whether you are worried about how things look or whether you are happy. Maybe they picked a janitor because they don't like cleaning the house? Maybe if you were a janitor you could trade up.

St. Charles, would the distinguished guys include the balding ones with the pot bellies? I know many more women that even if their bodies are not what they used to be, are prettier and sexier because of the confidence and grace they acquire with age.
 winnie_bini
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 10
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:09:14 PM
Hell no! Why settle? Why settle down! Have a blast!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 11
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:11:39 PM
I'm beginning to wonder myself. It seems when you are the 2nd woman you are forced into a role of mediator and psychologist because your man cannot separate past from present. I feel as if my needs will never be met or at best placed last because the Ex and all her BS consumes him. Is love so easy to find that you can toss it aside because of what someone did to you 10 years ago? I don't expect every man to be exactly like my ex husband. I get so tired of being last. My Ex was abusive and convinced me I was a pathetic loser. Now I feel even worse. Two men in a row letting me know I am not enough to make them happy.
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 12
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:25:36 PM
Thats a joke a divorced woman knows that there a pit fall behind every corner and would be 5X more likely to be 5X more selective. Once bitten twice Shy not jump into the boiling pot from the boiling kettle. So you think divorcing women teaches them a lesson on what theyre missing
 fred2353
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 13
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:56:33 PM
OP, are you in touch with the real world ? Where do you get this from ? Do you watch lots of TV ?
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 14
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:01:31 AM
Mio, I have dated a divorced woman before. She's rather attractive, a good person. For me, the most important thing is that the woman is compatible with me not whether a paper contract that she signed saying she was married is valid or not. I don't want to be so quick to judge a woman just because she was divorced. I would want to know the reason, but I am more interested in how a woman treats me and not a label such as divorcee. With so many people divorced in North America, I can't believe you posted your post.
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 15
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:01:24 AM
I'm divorced....twice...I'll settle a bill, settle an argument, settle into a comfy seat and even settle down, but I will never settle on a man. No one should settle on a partner.

OP...I think you're touched and a bit odd.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 16
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:46:00 AM
No. Women don't have to settle. Some do. But no, we do not have to.
 shystacie
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 18
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:04:48 PM
ME TOO, I hear you girl, that's why I had to leave the first one I hate fighting EVERY day that makes me unhappy
 shystacie
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 19
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:07:18 PM
oops forgot to include the post from the other girl about her saying she would rather be alone and happy then settle for someone less then perfect
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 20
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:49:43 PM
Of COURSE divorced women should settle for any man that will take them - they have been cast aside by their previous spouse, and therefore are considered unworthy amongst the rest of male-dom.
Or they have THEMSELVES cast aside a perfectly good male bloke on some whim or fancy - they therefore are considered to be troublemakers and therefore self respecting males would not touch them with the proverbial 10 footer.
Therefore, they should consider themselves etremely lucky to find that ANY guy is prepared to take them , and so should be happy to settle for that guy, irrespective of his status.

What a question ... !

Ogs

Northern English oik











....... of course thats a load of bollox and therefore shouldbe disregarded: truth is that everyone has their standards , and you should not lower your standards out of desperation - dont "settle" for less !
 mio310
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 21
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:26:26 PM
The women who lower their expectations the fastest will be the ones who will find themselves in relationships that last. Women should understand that their assets are rapadily depreciateing while the guys assets are rapidly appreciating. Your husbands have willingly sacrificed half their assets for the opportunity to replace you with a younger female. Women obviously settle or they remain alone. I was asking how you deal with the embarrassment and depression that obviously accompanies having to settle for a guy you wouldnt even look at when you were under 30.
 mio310
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 22
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:16:24 PM
If you love your former hubby so much you should be happy that he landed a younger female. A lot of 50 yr old guys land twenty something females. Life is beautiful.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 23
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:26:51 PM
mio310 said: "Some women just give up and go to the Caribbean and hire black gigalo."


Hmmm.. Do they hire white gigalo's too??
 mio310
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 25
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:45:46 PM

Those who say they prefer to be alone rather to live with the donkey, lies



Very true. It is quite startling how rapidly women will adjust their standards downward to reflect their lowered market value as they age. ie 35 yr old female doctor might last 2 months of lonelines before she grabs a janitor because women are desperate to be validated as women above all else. Its sad and pathetic. The level of denial in this thread is almost criminal. Before these women settle for some janitor, they should think about how embarrassing it is for their kids and former spouse.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 26
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:13:46 AM
Dayum... I forgot all about living my life out of maintaining appearances for my former spouse.
How in the world did I possibly become so inconsiderate?????
... this OP is a hoot!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 28
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:16:42 AM
I checked the OP's history and he is consistent in all forums. southernlass has given you some good advice OP.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 30
Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:27:30 PM

Deluding yourself that women are desperate and can't find a suitable date/mate isn't going to help your own situation.

Actually he's trying to delude women. If he can get them all to believe his premise, then maybe he'll have a chance to get a date with something other than a crack whore. But I'd say it's a long shot even so.
Cindy O
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 31
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Do divorced women have to settle for any man that will take them?
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:55:51 PM
ok...i don't make a habit of responding to troll-created threads, but i couldn't resist this one


I was asking how you deal with the embarrassment and depression that obviously accompanies having to settle for a guy you wouldnt even look at when you were under 30.


in my 20s, i dated people much like the op. not until after i divorced 11 years ago, did i realize i could date a much higher quality of man. before my marriage at 28, i experienced embarrassment and depression because i felt that i had to settle for losers.

since i divorced, my s/os have included: a neurosurgeon, a psychology professor, an executive chef, a real estate developer and a thoroughbred trainer. with the exception of the last one, none of them truly measured up to the standards i need in a relationship. each lacked something ~ either a sense of humor, creativity, or the intellectual stimulation i can't live without. but i had no problem introducing them to friends and family. i couldn't say that before i turned 30.

in fact, i find myself holding out for a man who has primitive living skills. i have my own reasons for this and i see no reason to entertain thoughts of a romance with anyone who can't contribute to the kind of life i want to build.

anyway, do i look like i have to 'settle?'
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