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Show ALL Forums  > Florida  > Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 NeyNeySmiles
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 1
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Are there any men left that REALLY know how to treat a lady right? Where have all the good men gone? I myself am an incredible woman and loving mother with good values and a great sense of humor. I just need someone who'll love, appreciate and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. They say karma always comes back to you. All I give out is good karma. When will the great wheel of karma come back to me?
 NeyNeySmiles
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 2
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:05:49 AM
Ooops typo... Chivalry is what I meant to say.
 rowdysheis
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 3
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/29/2008 1:03:04 PM
There are lots of good men out there. Karma happens in its own time. You can't rush it. I've been married 5 times. #4 marriage was wonderful and, wouldn't you know it, he died. The other four ended in divorce. People make plans and God laughs. You never know when you will meet the person of your dreams. Recently, I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful man on POF. He treats me with the same love, kindness and consideration that my late husband did and I adore him. I never thought I would be lucky enough to find someone who would treat me so lovingly again. I was wrong. There are men like my Jeff out there. You just have to be open to finding them. Oh, and by the way, Jeff didn't have a photo on his profile, and I never write to someone without a photo. This time I not only wrote to him without a photo, I wrote to him first! There was something about his profile that touched my heart and made me want to get to know this man. Follow your heart and your gut. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn't, don't. I wish you the very best. Just remember, at your age I had only been married once also. If it's worth having, it's worth waiting for.
 littlephishy
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 4
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:13:31 PM
Chivalry is not dead my dear. It is alive and well but listed as an endangered species. It's habitat has been slowly diminishing over the last 100yrs with the advent of television, pornography, the internet, womans liberation certainly didn't help and a host of 1000 other things, but most of all blame the parents and lack of proper parental oversight that has led to the near extinction of a once honored trait amongst men. What's even worse is the fact that the youth of today, our little ba$tard gangsta's and the whole hip hop culture is going to wreak total havoc on society is 10-20yrs, (not that they haven't a real good start on it now) by then the only Chivalry left in America will only be seen in the Zoos. Just another slow work day....LOL...........
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 5
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 4:02:31 PM
OMG blame hip hop? Come on get real. There were problems before and yes hip hop reflects what is there. True kids do follow it and live it. BUT the problems begin in the home. Too many young women having and raising babies with no father figure around. These kids grow up and repeat the same mistakes.

When hip hop first came out it had a positive vibe. The early artists spoke of what happened in their day to day lives. There may have been some cursing but no where near the extent it is now. Now it is all about getting laid, high and dancing. But then most of the music out there is. I like the music but I know it's not a true reflection of how all people live. Kids don't know that unless they are taught that. Rock n roll when it came out was blamed for ruining society as well. The rockers were all about sex, drugs, and rock n roll. It's basically the way music for young people has always been. It's about rebellion.

As a teacher I make it a point that ANY time a young person shows good manners to point it out and say ''wow'' and let them know I appreciate that. It is rare. AND cursing has become the norm. It is out of control. People have no filter anymore with their mouths. My own daughter who is 20 embarrasses me when we go out anywhere. Her mouth is filthy but that is the way her friends talk. UGH. Kids talk anyways they wish around adults and for the most part are not corrected. They have no respect for authority or adults. And it's not a black thing, it is across the board. Today I had to explain to a few kids about a question on a test we had yesterday. Instead of saying a character in a book won a boxing match because he was ''hit in the groin'' or ''below belt'' as the book stated, they wrote, "he got hit in the nuts....balls...dick...cock" and thought nothing was wrong with stating that in a test.

I know i'm off topic of chivalry but I think good manners goes hand in hand with it.
 snapperman7430069
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 6
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:42:05 PM
Raider, I don't think he was blaming hip-hop...reread his post.
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 7
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:56:53 PM
nah just saying that hip hop culture was ruining society....it's more rap than hip hop that puts down women by the way
 snapperman7430069
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 8
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:02:14 PM
To me, it's irregardless.

Lack of upbringing-parts of our society and many other factors all contribute to it.

We're a dying breed. ;)
 littlephishy
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 9
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:20:13 PM

OMG blame hip hop? Come on get real.

LOL....I had to go back and read my own post....Bellydancer, Where in the world did I blame hip hop for the present situation with Chivalry? .......LOL.....Get Real?????
 shipoker55
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 10
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/31/2008 8:42:27 AM
I believe chivalry is dead....and women are to blame for it!!............... JMO
 mercedesredgirl
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 11
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:47:02 AM
Good karma will come back to you 10 fold when you least expect it~~~!!!!!
 Nightwing66
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 12
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/31/2008 11:01:46 AM
Were one to read the other threads on this topic, the conclusion might be that many men are quite ready to demonstrate good manners when they know it will not be used against them or thrown back in their faces. Once they are in a relationship/friendship, for instance.

The ones that ARE 'indiscrimantly' chivalrous have learned that there are some women who will display one or both of the negative repercussions mentioned above. Realizing that both genders have members that were not raised w/ proper manners tends to take the sting out of such rebukes.

It often seems that women bemoaning the lack of 'chivalry' are really wondering why the vast majority of men (strangers) they encounter are no longer extremely accomodating & generous towards themselves, as perhaps they were used to in their younger days.

Adjusting to one's changing 'worth' in the dating world (as perceived by others) is always a tough thing to do. Some do it w/ a toupe or plastic surgery...some w/ a shiny new Corvette.

Choosing someone to date by how he comports himself & how he treats you is probably going to net you a more decent man than just picking someone you are attracted to & hoping that he might turn into the fabled Knight somewhere down the road.
 jasmine_07
Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:11:16 PM
I never do this...but I have to interject here. There is NEVER an excuse for bad manners, no matter how it is taken or you are treated. Good manners always win in the end and I have never heard of one instance where GOOD manners ever hurt anyone. Ever hear of "Pay Forward" or "Do unto others, as you would have done unto you"?
Questions?
 bigshrek
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 14
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:47:15 AM
Geez, yeah...during the 90's there were so many MZ.'s that would berate you if you DID open a door for them...it was kinda funny, even the 80's punk rock chix with purple & green hair liked it if you opened a door for 'em and then all these MZ Thing's popped up and were totally anti-manners.

Y'all keep changing all the rules, THAT is why we're so confused!!

we need a smiley where the lil fella is banging his head against a wall
 FLwoman
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 15
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:51:51 AM
It's not dead....just confused! I feel for the men who don't know if the woman will get pissed if he opens the door for her.
I have 2 sons that are now 20 and 22 and I taught them right WITHOUT a father figure around. They know how to be gentlemen and their girlfriends are always complimenting me on what wonderful cooks they are, how clean they are, they can fold towels correctly, etc and also be men and take care of them as they should.
Your ship will come in and a wonderful man is worth the wait. The rest of the men you have to wade through are just practice.
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:40:56 AM
It is interesting that the OP is no longer on the site. I wonder if she found her knight and is now "off the market" or if she just gave up.
 Hazel-Ize216
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 17
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:08:12 PM
Chivalry is not dead....never was and never will be. If you can define, comprehend and focus on "mind control", then.... ___________________....
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 18
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/18/2008 3:31:42 AM
I feel for the men who don't know if the woman will get pissed if he opens the door for her.

A long time ago (25+ years) I was up the steps of the state capitol building in Colorado. About half way up I noticed the clacking of heels behind me and as I listed the pace stayed about the same as mine and I figured she was about 10-12' behind me.

When I reached the doors I pulled it open and stepped to the side to allow the "lady" to enter first. The lady almost took my head off by growling "You dont have to open the door for me because I'm a woman!" to which I replied "I didn't, I opened the door for you because I'm a gentleman!" And as she stood there with her mouth hanging open I politely walked through the door and let it close.

The moral of the story is: To thine own self be true. If you're the kind of man who opens doors and holds chairs then do so and not worry about what the woman will think. If your being a gentleman pisses her off then she has issues (demonstrated by her lack of graciousness) you dont want to deal with. OTOH if you dont normally open doors and hold chairs then look for a woman who doesn't care.


I believe chivalry is dead....and women are to blame for it!!............... JMO

Yeah, that's manly. Blame someone else for your actions.
 Love=Insanity
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 19
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:23:21 PM
Chivalry is definately not dead, but it is on life support. I don't believe in karma at all neyneysmiles, but I do believe that if you're a good person on this earth God will make a place for you in Heaven. I pride myself on being a gentlemen. I love being respectful to others. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, showing women that I appreciate them makes me feel good about myself. That's why I do it. I'm teaching my nephew as well so that chivalry will live on and not die out.
 Nephilim
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 20
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History
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:24:42 PM
Chivalry as its common meaning never really existed except in works of fiction. So, I suppose, it couldn't be dead, just as the nuclear(nucular) family of 1950's television never existed. Chivalry in its literal meaning was some pretty harsh stuff. I don't think any of us would really like the "manners" of the people of the middle ages unless you yearn for the days of institutionalized rape and torture. I guess it is always ok to complain that you aren't getting what you want, but I wouldn't use the past as any guide for the way we should conduct ourselves in the present. The idealized medieval past is just as obnoxious as the anti-feminist idealized 1950s fiction, unless you really want me to have the car door open for you on your way back to the kitchen.

I have never really met a woman who really wanted a "nice guy" anyway. The only people who say that and mean it are the affluent and hardcore religious types.

Oh and Kharma is another misused concept. Kharma is a religious concept that has to do with how you move along your path to becoming a Brahman. So, by definition punishment won't come until the next life. I think the concept you want is what goes around comes around, or the christian concept of do unto others.. or a wiccan concept.

But I suppose there is no harm in saying whatever comes to mind, no matter how the meaning you convey has nothing to do with the words you use and you wish things were like a fictional past. Guys should be more chivilric like the knights were and the family should be more like the Cleavers were. So Hare Krishna, may peace be upon you, god bless and goodnight.
 Titleist429
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 21
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:29:23 PM
Assuming we're discussing the modern concept of chivalry (what I tend to think of as an old-fashioned Southern gentleman), then chivalry is not dead at all.

I've been in this area of Florida a couple of weeks now, and I treat all ladies as my momma raised me to; polite, courteous, open doors, always say ma'am, etc. No problem; either the ladies expect that treatment, or appreciate, or just accept it because I am of 'that age'. Regardless, no problems thus far.
 AlligatorAlley
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 22
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:13:08 PM
While not dead, chivalry is definately not healthy.

There is a huge flaw in the whole concept of chivalry. It assumes that women are weak, incapable, and unable to do things for themselves.

This is diametrically opposed to two generations of feminism that has taught us that women are strong, intelligent, and capable.

So, a genteel and mannerly gesture of opening a car door can be horrible misinterpreted into "I can open my own damned car door you chauvinist **stard!"

Yeah, that's been said to me.

Chivalry is a real tough dilemma for men.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 23
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:41:06 PM
^^^^^^ And again I say... her lack of graciousness should in no way impact your willingness to be who you are.

I dont care how independent she is (and that phrase is a whole 'nother discussion), for her to condem a gesture simply because it was performed by a "man" speaks to emotional issues she carries that self aware men need to run away from.

You ever open a door for a man? How about escorting a male customer from his hotel to your car in the rain and you open the door for him... Have you EVER heard a man say "I can open my own damned car door you chauvinist **stard!" Nope. Men would just say thank you (they might think a little wierd but they would say thank you). Same thing at a resturant... you can hold a door open for another man and he'll just say thanks and walk in. We accept the gesture graciously.

And these so called "independent women" when they are out with their girl friends do they call them chauvinist **stards when they open the door for them? No, absolutely not!

A woman who lacks basic graciousness is not independent, rather she is something else entirely.
 littlephishy
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 24
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:20:59 PM

A woman who lacks basic graciousness is not independent, rather she is something else entirely


Ya, she is something else. She's a B1tch...... .........And probably has a purse full of medication that doesn't work....
 FLwoman
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 25
Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:39:12 AM
I absolutely AGREE with the men that have commented after that stupid comment made above by...well you know who you are....you are not independant but rather insecure, you are not a feminist but a freak.
Women like you give the rest of us a bad name and confuse the crap out of men that are just being kind and gracious. They are putting their best foot forward and you are stepping on it....too bad you didn't just trip over it and fall on your face!
My 2 sons beat other men up just to get to the door first to open it for women and the elderly...does that make them bad?? Not at all........and no one has ever told them off whilst they do this simple yet kind act.
GOD...you are such a B!TCH ^^^^^^
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