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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Married people on POF...      Home login  
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 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 1
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Married people on POF...Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Okay, I see this...


Sounds to me like he's married.....


...all of the time. I will admit from whatI read the experience on POF is different for men than it is for women. Do people here really spend that much time fending off the advances of married people, or encounter married person after married person?
Of people that I have met I am pretty certain that none of them were married... I think.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 2
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/7/2008 3:06:48 PM
Had one this morning....Marital Status read : Prefer not to Say.
He had IM me....and wanted to chat... I asked him straight out, are you married?, are you separated? living separately?, intending on divorce or separation?

His answer over and over was that He has not been with her in a year.

big deal... I didn't have sex with my EX for the last 7.5 years of our marriage...I was still married...and we were still in the same house...and living separately.

I told this guy that there was no reason for us to be in contact. I am not interested in a relationship with a married man.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 3
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/7/2008 7:50:43 PM
I couldn't agree more with albino dino....
Take em all, the whole lot of them.

Yes there are lots of married guys on here posing as single or seperated.
I have been contacted by a some of them and burned by one in particular.
He was an academy award winning actor. He has it down pat now, he was an expert at hiding it and manipulating. He came across as extremely sincere and caring.
Don't believe a word.
They will lie and lie and lie some more.
A big red flag......When it comes time to give up the digits or meet IRL they disappear off the face of the earth. Or they give you the mobile # and then never answer the phone or they can only talk when they are out and about. You don't realize it at first until you think about it.......they are never at home when they call you back.

I am sure there are lots of married women on here too.

Buyer beware.
 Radio_Gal
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 4
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:12:08 AM
I totally agree with u on this there are so many guys that say they r " married" or " have a wife" they dont acually do they just have a serious girlfriend who wont let up the chains or there bored of having sex with the same person all the time so they just try and get some on the side.... ugh not cool!~
 ~blue eyes~
Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 5
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:45:42 PM
I have had 4 wives or girlfriends call me asking me who I am. And I had never even met any of the guys, just brief email chats here and there. So I would say that it happends often.
The last one called last month and I hadn't spoken to the guy or anyone else really since I met my guy on here at the end of Sept.

People should really be more careful if they don't want to get caught.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 6
Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/24/2011 1:54:16 PM
I was chatting on-line ( POF ) with a local guy who pushed and pushed to meet him, but something told me to stave off his advances. I was right.
He finally admitted to me he was living with his wife and kids and STILL wanted to meet me.

He must be bloody joking!!

His messages became quite rude because of my rejection to the point where I simply blocked him. He then came back with different nicknames to simply insult me again and again! I continued to block him till he became fed-up!
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 7
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/24/2011 2:29:37 PM
I think there are FAR fewer married men out there than the story goes (I sometimes get grilled senseless by women trying to make sure I'm not married, even though I suggest we can meet anytime they want).

I also think there are far MORE married women out there than the story goes (LOTS simply disappear when mention is made of getting together for a cuppa or a glassa).

Don't know that it's all that different In Real Life, married looking for a different flower in a different field to play with. Some do it, most don't.

BTW, a woman friend told me a woman who insists on meeting for "a quiet dinner" without ever talking with the guy on the phone is most frequently married. To weed out those, it is best to suggest meeting at some public place close to where she lives in the bright light of day.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 8
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/27/2011 9:28:51 PM
Sorry but having an actual WIFE does mean you're married.
I dated a widower, um yeah, turns out she was still alive and still his wife.
I dated a man divorced for 2 years, um yeah, married but separated for less than a year.
I really hate to ask for someone's full legal name, social security#, home address and phone number to do a background check after 2 emails.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 9
Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/28/2011 4:08:35 PM
most dont have to be even married, just having psycho ex's that are still in the picture can be enough that are trying to worm their way back into the person's life again ur trying to see.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/28/2011 6:47:52 PM

I think there are FAR fewer married men out there than the story goes (I sometimes get grilled senseless by women trying to make sure I'm not married, even though I suggest we can meet anytime they want).

I also think there are far MORE married women out there than the story goes (LOTS simply disappear when mention is made of getting together for a cuppa or a glassa).


Oh look, there it is again....
Dude, is there not one thread here that you can post in that doesn't have you implying
that women are no good?
You remind me of a 3rd grade boy with the "Girls are Gross" mentality.
Why does every thing have to be divided into genders?
There are obviously way too many married folks ~ men and women ~ out trying to get a piece on the side.
Maybe you can pull another stat out of your ass and prove your "thinkings".
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 11
Married people on POF...
Posted: 1/28/2011 8:26:54 PM
WWW ".....who insists on meeting for a "quiet dinner' without ever talking with the guy on the phone is most frequently married." I have to disagree with this as I don't like to do the 40 emails back and forth over 3 weeks followed by 2 weeks of telephone conversations. I like to meet rather quickly for coffee followed up with a lunch/brunch date shortly after. By rather quickly I mean a week or so of emails, maybe one phone call. My reason for this is I only want contact with one person at a time and why wait around to meet in person. I have found that those that want endless emails, IM's and phone calls only with no move to an actual meeting are the ones that are married, bored or aren't planning on EVER meeting you.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 12
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 4:10:25 AM

Oh look, there it is again....
Dude, is there not one thread here that you can post in that doesn't have you implying
that women are no good?
You remind me of a 3rd grade boy with the "Girls are Gross" mentality.
Why does every thing have to be divided into genders?
There are obviously way too many married folks ~ men and women ~ out trying to get a piece on the side.
Maybe you can pull another stat out of your ass and prove your "thinkings".


I've often wondered: if ten different married men are having affairs, who are they having affairs with? Ten different women, obviously! So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 13
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 12:50:03 PM

So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?

Maybe 2 or 3 of those men are doing the same woman? Maybe a couple of the men are having a same-sex affair?
Just guesses on my part.
What seems to be an occurrence with online dating is married men contacting unpartnered women,either concealing his status or doing the " It's a loveless marriage,but I can't get a divorce because..." I tell ya, some guys can get enough "I feel your pain" cred to pull off getting with a side piece that KNOWS he's married-apparently either complete deception or complete truth play well with some women. And then we do have the woman who chooses to be involved with married men because she knows she's never going to have to put up with having him completely in her life, in her house and underfoot. And the observations I'm making could equally apply to married women,but from all I hear, the balance of married men looking for a little on the side greatly outweighs the married women looking for an extramarital affair.
Cindy O
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 14
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 5:16:38 PM
from my experience, i would say any married men who have tried to contact me are the ones trying to engineer furtive, grubby online affairs.

they've been "careless" with the truth or played the "woe is me, stuck in a loveless marriage" card,
which is probably a lot of cr"p anyway.

or, instead of paying for porn they try for thrills on the cheap, with any woman who may be foolish or desperate enough to participate.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!...
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 15
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 6:23:34 PM
hahaha,

some of the men are having same sex affairs ! ? LMAO thats funny.
 americanwoman67
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 16
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/3/2011 3:05:01 PM
I guess they are on the "down low".
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 17
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/6/2011 7:33:53 PM

Okay, I see this...



Sounds to me like he's married.....



...all of the time. I will admit from whatI read the experience on POF is different for men than it is for women. Do people here really spend that much time fending off the advances of married people, or encounter married person after married person?
Of people that I have met I am pretty certain that none of them were married... I think.


Yes. I get approached by a *lot* of married men. I'm getting tired of it.

I have not heard men complain about this. Is it because married women do it less? Is it because the men don't care so they don't complain? Or is it that the married women find it so easy to find a (presumably) married guy that they don't need to bother unattached guys? I don't know.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 18
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/9/2011 11:33:17 PM
^^^^ well duh of course its because they don't even care if the woman is married or not.

if they can't get a single woman, then who cares if she's taken or married right?

u won't hear men complaing either way, and yes i don't think married women would cheat as much and if they did it would go under the radar more because they probably already have their FWB's on the side waiting readily for the call.

u know the sort's, the guy's who hang around who are these women's supposedely "guy friends". LMAO.

women can find a sex partner of any sex quicker than a guy could even if u gave him a head start lol.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 19
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/14/2011 5:33:50 PM
I've often wondered: if ten different married men are having affairs, who are they having affairs with? Ten different women, obviously! So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?


Obviously, no woman is capable of having sex with more than one man. And married men *only* have affairs with married women, never with single women. So, it's impossible that more married men are having affairs than married women. It just doesn't add up. It's like saying there are more married men than there are married women, right?

Um, I know grade school kids who can see the flaw in this thinking

If it's any comfort to you, the percentages of married women having affairs is increasing and getting closer to the percentage of married men having affairs. Meanwhile, it really shouldn't be hard to figure this out, just think a little.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 20
Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/2/2011 6:17:24 PM
There are tons of marrieds in online dating sites...both sexes.

Men dont complain about it as often because generally they dont get hit on like women do, so when a married woman approaches it isnt an insult, even if morally they dont agree or go along with it.

I lost count how many times in chat I weeded out married men. And I was not assuming, Id tell them I figured they were married and they would confess. lol

I have chatted with men though that were ticked at how many married women they had run into...seems we are becoming more and more equal everyday. 'yay'
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 21
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/3/2011 11:51:34 AM
I'm not sure what's up with the "married" thing. People do have lives, families, friends, jobs, other commitments. I don't think it's fair to expect someone you've just met/started dating to put you at the top of the list.

I dated someone who all my friends SWORE was married. HAD to be...because he didn't conform to their ideas of how someone should behave. I actually had someone "figure it out" - he must be married to a flight attendant, who was out of town when he was with me, that's it!!!!! Silly. He was divorced, just like he said.

I don't know if it's because just about every woman over the age of 30 I know who has dated, has come across a married guy pretending to be single...? I myself went out a couple of times with one of them, a while back. Maybe it's just hyper-vigilance?
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 22
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/9/2011 11:20:12 AM
I've come across married women on here.

There's two main groups I encounter.

There's those who try to hide the fact that they're married. Or give me the whole "well, it's over" bit. They tend to try and keep the relationship low key. They don't want people knowing. And that doesn't work for me.
And of course, there's all those who are just cheating. They admit they're married, and don't want their husband to know.

Others I've come across are married, and tell me upfront. Their husband knows that they are on here seeking another relationship, they're open about it. And I admire that. I've chatted with the husbands of couple, and when I know that the husband really is being kept in the loop, I have no problem seeing the woman.
 pomzz
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 23
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 1:57:46 AM
Some of you need to lighten up a bit. If two consenting adults who just may happen to be married to someone else, decide they want to hook up for a little NSA fun then that is their own business. People stay married for a multitude of reasons one component of that being sex. Seldom are both partners in a marriage on exactly the same page when it comes to sex though. One will usually desire more or less than the other. This is where the "****-buddy" comes in to fill a void. The problem arises however if an emotional attachment forms with the NSA partner. That's when it becomes a very slippery slope.
A good friend who happens to be very religious (but not the preachy type) once gave me a very good piece of advice when I confided in him that I was considering an extra-marital fling with a women I had recently met. He simply said "Why would you want to complicate your life with that?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 24
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:17:25 AM
What causes folks here, and elsewhere, to "darken down" about affairs, is that it involves deception. MOST of us want a real relationship that will work in the light of day. The vitriol you are bound to see comes as a direct result of the LYING that in usually involved in dealing with cheats.
The "two consenting adults" who you postulate would not be lying to each other, perhaps, but they would be, to their spouses. That does make them LIARS, and as such, not people I would trust in any situation.
Yes, it IS their own business, and if I knew about someone having an affair (I hate that term, it seems to be designed to make the sordid, selfish acts look like a graceful, carefree and innocent little indulgence. "Fling" is a likewise insipid cover-up name for disgusting behavior), I would not intervene unless they were impinging on my life by it. But I will always challenge anyone who publicly claims that lying, and cheating are things to be found even remotely acceptable.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 25
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:24:45 AM
By the way, the apparent statistical anomaly mentioned a long while back (more men having affairs than women) isn't hard to understand. By definition, the person in those PARTICULAR statistics, who is defined as having the affair, is the married one. It comes from the common fact that married people who are cheating, often DON'T tell the person they are cheating with, that they are married. In those situations, it could be accurately said that only the MARRIED person is having an affair.
Therefore, looking only from the perspective of married people cheating, it is quite possible to have one sex do more of it than the other, without resorting to things like same-sex cheating, or one woman being the sex-object of many married men, to make the math work.
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