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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Being screwed over yet again?      Home login  
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 1
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Being screwed over yet again?Page 1 of 1    
Trying to weigh it up and be rational and fair.

I'm with my new guy since beginning december.
Today I noticed that some girl put photos up on two separate occasions about 2 weeks ago. In both lots there's pics of them looking very cosy in a club in town. I've been burnt before on several occasions so I'm just feeling my heart sink a bit...they could be just friends true...

Gah my head is wrecked!
I don't know what to do or think :(

An obvious one is to ask him straight out.I guess "eventually" I'll do that but I'm wondering should I put pics up of me and him or something and see what happens or is this just plain stupid? I guess it is. A more feasible thing is I might hold off temporarily to see does he drop her name in conversation...though then of course I'll be going nuts wondering about it...

I'm thinking back to how he didn't realise I was coming back to his after a party beginning february and insisted on going in to clean before I went into his appartment. The photos were posted a few days after this. He's wearing the same clothes and apparently was at some party til very late the night before and if I'm not mistaken he mentioned being in same said club before the party...This could mean something, maybe it doesn't. He does like to keep things ultra tidy.

I'm just thinking please not again. He's expressed some views against cheaters and people who mess others around and has told me in context of a conversation a few weeks back "there's no one else".

 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 2
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Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:29:43 AM
Be upfront, but not accusitory. These might be an ex. If it's a good pic of him, tell him you found some of him where he looks good (ignore the other woman) and just ask him when they were taken.

If he gets all defensive, then I would worry.
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
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Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:54:29 AM
Instead of playing mind games with yourself, trying to be a detective just ask him...]

If he is messen around with you, move on...
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:57:08 AM
If you haven't had "the talk," now may be a time to do it. You can always tell him that he looks like he is having fun in the pictures, when did you take them, the same way you would with a friend. This does not mean that you are accusing him of anything just curious about something in his life.

If you haven't established exclusivity and he gets defensive then as I said, you probably need to talk to him about whether or when he sees things going anywhere with you. If he really likes you, this won't chase him off, if he doesn't, you are better off finding out now than in the middle of April or June.
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 5
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Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:57:42 AM
Hi nordic..thanks for the advice. Yeah I couldn't understand why the other one got deleted. I put it in relationships because it's a thread pertaining to a relationship. I'm in a relationship with this guy. This forum makes most sense to me. There'll always be grey areas of course. I don't see how it's not fitting. Advice welcome.

Sorry was trying to keep the post brief...basically some girl posted photos of them on facebook. Not the first time. But of approx 6-8 photos, about half of them my boyfriend and this girl look very chummy. Ie in one photo she's on his lap and he has his arms wrapped around her, right under her breasts and one hand relaxed flat on her tummy. Another is a very couply looking photo with him all smiles and they have an arm around each other...

I'm a bad liar..I think I'll have difficulty coming up with some spool about these wonderful pics and then spinning this onto the topic of this girl so I guess if I'm going to ask I should ask directly...

Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 6
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Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 12:52:08 PM
Nothing fuels the flames of passion like the element of doubt.
You must play it totally cool. Say absolutely nothing to him about the other girl at all.
He allowed you to see the pictures for a reason.
Let him guess about why you're not so concerned about her.
 ~blue eyes~
Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 7
Being screwed over yet again?
Posted: 2/15/2008 1:21:24 PM
Your going to drive yourself crazy just wondering about it.
You should talk to him about it.
Have you both decided to be exclusive or is it just assumed?
If you have, just tell him hey I was on facebook the other day and I noticed these pictures and I'm not really comfortable with them, especially since she is not a friend you ever talked about, or something along those lines.
Your not going to be able to have a good healthy relationship if you can't talk to your partner about things.
I learned it the hard way and all of those people that go around say communication is the most important thing are absolutely right.
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