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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong righ      Home login  
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 ns
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 1
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? (says he has feelings for you right away, wants you to trust him, etc.)
Do you assume they are just desperate for a relationship with ANYONE? That they are in love with the idea of love?
Do you think they might not be well?
Excluding any reasons having to do with sex what are your thoughts on this?

Do you think that most times when someone "falls in love" this easily they can fall out love just as easily? (going from one extreme to the other)
 musicianfriend
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 2
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:51:15 PM
What about when two people meet and they both have everything in common. There is an instant attraction between them both.

Still going on 4-5 months later. Getting better. Hard at first because your not sure what is going on. But still working.

Love at first site? Perhaps it is true. Maybe it is fate we are together. Its too perfect.
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 5
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:09:24 PM
I dated a guy who told me on the first date that he loved me. He asked me to marry him. It was very creepy....needless to say, there was no second date. I had to block his email.
 smileyface34
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 8
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:39:32 PM
I would say that just about every time it should raise a red flag if someone comes on too strong.

However, last night I visited some friends of mine at their home. They had invited another couple I had never met before. While talking to this couple, the husband told us this story: He met his wife in a bar & he knew immediately that he would marry her some day - that she was "the one". He even told her this on their second date - she was quite surprised by his strong feelings for her, yet she did not get turned off. Sure enough, they were engaged within a year & they have now been married for 20 years. Go figure! But that is the exception - not the rule. And thank goodness he wasn't creepy or an obnoxious jerk - he was actually a normal guy who fell head over heals for a girl as soon as he set eyes on her! Lucky for him that he had not SCARED his wife away when he had come on too strong 21 years ago!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:53:41 PM
If it is one-sided it is totally creepy but I do know of many people that seem to have experienced love at first sight and have stayed together for years. When it is not creepy, I think people are in a way excited and calm at the same time, just seem to know that it is right. If someone is asking this question it is probably a run in the other direction deal.
 phule
Joined: 4/8/2004
Msg: 11
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:56:04 PM

What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? (says he has feelings for you right away, wants you to trust him, etc.)


It all depends on the man. There is no generic or pat way to answer this. Some people are psychotic. Some are not. Some people fall in love quickly, some do not. Some people can buy a house the moment they see it, regardless of the fact that they will be paying it off for 30 years. Some need weeks to decide if that is the right house for them. Some people can buy an outfit when they see it right away. Some need to go back to the store a few more times.

Ye Gods... this is just another case of someone who most likely demands honesty, then complains when they get it. Try communicating, and seeing if the guy is actually being honest, or just looking to get laid.
 azgirl72
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:13:25 PM
I can be ok as long as the emoitonal involvement doesn't come with it. I likeit when men show their feelings... I have had a few come on strong and as long what ever becomes of it isn't too fast. Its all good..
 kezza79
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 13
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/16/2008 12:58:32 AM
i really don't no hey i had this one guy after meeting him told me he loved me and that todays after meeting him he was looking for a house for us to move in together that just screams out weirdo there is really liking someone when you first meet them then going over the top like that i mean when i meet my boyfriend i new it was spacial straight away we use to speck for hours on the phone every night and that after spending the day together so i dont no on that hey sorry
 Lixiette
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 14
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/16/2008 1:06:28 AM
I think they are controlling and I start to feel stifled and trapped. Then I avoid staying in touch with them.

If anybody really falls in love THAT FAST, then I wouldn't want a relationship with them anyway. Falling in love and falling out of love are one and the same--he could fall out of love with me just as fast.
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 15
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:48:29 AM
I'd be a bit apprehensive about someone who for example wanted to move in together after only a month of dating.I feel there is a fine line between "needyness" and "wanting" a good,loving,lasting relationship.Pushy people are a turn off.
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 16
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:50:48 AM
Dr.Phil had a show one time about this subject and Dr.Pjil recommended a book called "Addicted to Love".
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 18
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:04:45 AM
If you're looking for a fùck buddy, then the person who "comes on strong" will qualify. These people aren't good for long-term relationships, though.
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 19
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:41:31 AM
Lust at first site ... yep --- physical
Infatuation at first interaction -- yep -- initial emotional
Strong attraction -- yep -- initial mental

Love builds upon infatuation and attraction. The building takes time. It is beyond the physcial, emotional and mental and on into the spiritual - the culmination of all 4.

So, I tend to interpret any early and pushing "Love" as a person who doesn't know how to develop a relationship all the way through the early stages to real enduring love. Not to say that many many people haven't developed infatuation and attraction into love and looking back call it love at first site.

Gandi
 Blk_Archangel7
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 20
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:57:12 AM
my pastor once told me that any man or woman start coming on strong for you is a liar and cheat. If they had respect they would wait.
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 21
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:57:52 AM
Quick to jump in, quick to jump out. I once dated a gut that took me to an event where you had to wear a badge & he gets me one with his last name after my first name. Yikes!!!
I have a jewelry drawer full of steady & engagement rings. They all thought I was THE ONE, till I opened my mouth!!!
 digitalfever
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 22
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:11:35 AM
Men who come on too strong put me on red alert. I don't like it because I feel they need someone more than they actually want them. Basically the thought of being in a relationship is what drives them; they don't realize what a relationship really is. Men who come on to strong turn me off; I like to be presude but at the same time i like to chase them aswell.
 chickalina
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 24
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:25:46 AM
A guy who comes on really strong will tell you that he is just being honest up front. After I read that - bye bye. If a man cannot have a simple conversation with you first then he definately is not the type to "stick around" for any amount of time. Tell him thanks but no thanks - you would be doing yourself a favor
 cmdr_iceman
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 30
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:26:33 PM
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? (says he has feelings for you right away, wants you to trust him, etc.)

Answer: I would be flattered by their level of interest by coming on really strong, I still would keep them at arm’s length esp if they are asking me to grant them my trust instead of earning it gradually. I see that as a red flag.

Do you assume they are just desperate for a relationship with ANYONE? That they are in love with the idea of love?

Answer: No, I don’t necessarily assume they are desperate to be with just ANYONE - just me at the moment.

Do you think they might not be well?

Answer: Perhaps.

Excluding any reasons having to do with sex what are your thoughts on this?

Answer: Run swiftly, Run silent, Run deep, just RUN!

Do you think that most times when someone "falls in love" this easily they can fall out love just as easily? (going from one extreme to the other)

Answer: Yes, these types do tend to be extremists in that manner and can easily swing from one end of the spectrum to the other with ease.
 Straight Christian Lady
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 31
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:55:48 PM
I do NOT like having any man come on strong to me, I don't care who he is, or why he's trying .. I find it invasive and alarming.

- he probably acts this way with any woman.
- I don't know where he's been.
- he doesn't know where I've been, which makes him seem indiscriminate.
- I don't have sex with people I don't know.

FRIENDS FIRST!!!
 scotishthistle1967
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 32
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:53:35 AM
If a guy were to tell me on a first or second or 6th date that he loved me..I would wonder what the guy was up to....and make my retreat..lol
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 33
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:14:19 AM
Just because someone has feelings early on doesn't have to be a red flag. . . if they're 40+ years old and never been in a ltr, then yeah, it may be an issue - but falling in love has a lot to do with chemistry and compatability - when you feel it, you feel it. Communication is key - ask them what they love about you.. . My SO and I just hit it off immediately - we were comfortable, and compatible - and there's nothing wrong with that!
 Sunny4ever2
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 36
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 2/20/2008 3:48:50 PM
When I was much younger I would fall for the guy who walked right up to me at the party, now I am much more intrigued by the one who stays at the back and just as I am getting ready to leave, walks over and introduces himself.. that means that he watched me for a while, and then decided that he would like to meet. The "pouncers" are usually not the keepers, this being said, I do believe in instant attraction.
:-)
 moniquesc
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 41
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:29:10 PM
I find it a complete turn-off if someone comes on way strong. I like confidence, but there is a difference.
 Blk_Archangel7
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 44
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 3/17/2008 8:30:54 PM
I jumped off the boat with one girl that just kept annoying day after day with hi, and stupid msn nudges, had to put her on blockage.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 45
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:50:30 AM

Msg: 1 -- What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?


I see no difference between this and any other start-up relationship. I simply state that things will progress on MY time-frame and by MY RULES.

She either accepts or rejects.

Acceptance will compel me to do what I can within my comfort zone to maintain the relationship.

Rejection will terminate the relationship, if there ever was one.

I try to keep things simple. But then, I AM a simple-minded person. I SIMPLY DESPISE complications. I am not QUITE to the point of "my way or the highway" in the sense that I REALLY DO TRY to make a potential relationship work.

If she moves too fast, I try to slow her down. If she moves to slow, I try to speed her up. If my efforts fail within my tolerance level, I terminate the relationship. A NO-GO is quite simply a NO-GO.



Msg: 5 -- The good thing about dating is, there are two speedometers that should be used to check how fast things are going...and there's no requirement to match the other's.


Ahh, yessss, but would you not agree that MATCHING SPEEDS are MUCH MORE DESIRABLE? After all, compatible desires DO make for a pleasantly STEAMY relationship!!!
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