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 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 4
Do people Not have Morals anymore?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I understand where you are comming from.I feel I need to say YES,people do have morals.However,many people define them differently,this is why communication is so important as is using good common sense.Its bad that your ex propositioned you perhaps you should expect it because you knew him and knew it wasn't out of his character.Perhaps,the character issue is a reason you are not together.The other incident with the other ex was a mistake BOTH of you made.He lied,but you had to know he too lacked character and wanted to believe his lies.The moral issue for him was/IS lying cheating and decieving.The issue for you seems to be knowing its NEVER a good idea to be with someone who has demonstrated bad character in the past,AND to have sex with someone who is even supposedly just getting out of relationship.Yes, he was wrong for lying no doubt! Just some observations
 Domeroth
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 7
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 8:14:38 PM
What is Morality? Ooooooooh that stuff my mother raised me with.

Now I don't fit in because it's an uncommon commodity. Thats kinda ironic.
 djama
Joined: 1/17/2005
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 8:27:42 PM
i think i left mine in my other pants; the ones withthe values in them!!!
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 12
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:01:34 PM

Neither of these men had ever shown me bad character


The second one just decided that he could not commit to a relationship....





hummmmm........THAT would be more than a Clue
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 14
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:08:07 PM
I am an ultra moralist , women for the most part hate that , think it is so gay .... I wanna change and be a male slut one day , got to remove terrible stigma of morals

Women say they want a moral guy but for some reason it does not atract them
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 17
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:19:15 PM

Neither of these men had ever shown me bad character


The second one just decided that he could not commit to a relationship....






hummmmm........THAT would be more than a Clue

My point is that him deciding he didn't want to commit AFTER you began a sexual relationship shows character (or rather lack of)then again,it took 2 to tangle......a good moral would be to never have sex outside of some type of understanding of relationship/commitment. The character issue SIMPLY continued as you say he "betrayed" your friendship as well later....my point earlier.....HUGE CLUE was the 1st commitment phobia after sex.
Its important for us all to use common sense so our "morals" aren't compromised.
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 18
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:20:00 PM
woman that have gone through alot usually find morals later in life even though they fooled around when they were young .


I do not wanna miss fooling around in my life only had sex with two women in my whole life and one of them was my wife (RIP)
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 23
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:28:05 PM

Now many men think it is moral if he didnt rape you


What I'm trying to point out is;
1)this should NOT be about GENDER......far too much silly gender bashing going on

2)It takes 2 (most times)Its HORRIBLE when someone lies...but bad when someone ignores all signs that the liar has bad character and therefore will lie,cheat,decieve whatever.

3)Morals is NOT just what we "feel" but what we DO...not just "intentions" but ACTIONS

4)Morals as a term is highly subjective and therefore should be discussed thoroughly by parties BEFORE becoming involved,even as early as 1st few conversations.Ask questions BEFORE stating a moral position that way,a liar can't feel you out to say what they may think YOu want to hear.
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 25
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:38:12 PM
My issue is only the fact that he told me that he was already split up his girlfriend when we had sex.


I totally understand that and have stated so from my 1st response. HE LIED! My point is, is it wise to think that someone of questionable character would lie? I think not. Also,to the point of morals.....is 1 time sex EVER "moral"? It goes back to the questions of the subjectivity of morals and the use of good judgement.The best way to avoid stepping in chicken Sh*t is to stay out of the chicken coup ...IMO.
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 27
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:48:59 PM
Can I suggest time off from all dating? I honestly believe everyone should take 3-6 mo off between dating after sexual relationships/encounters for many reasons.1 important reason is self examination and re generation.A stronger YOU makes a stronger Unit. I certainly wish you the absolute best and I hope you find the direction and strength you need and desire within your self and your creator.
 SarGasm
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 29
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:54:44 PM
if i had too many morals, i probably wouldn't have had as much fun!
 felldownstairs
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 30
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 11:02:51 PM
My question is: how do you define morals? You are talking about "cheating" as immoral. Why is it immoral? The whole concept of adultery stems from religious doctrine, so should it be defined as immoral if you don't necessarily believe in that religion? Or are we going by socially accepted rules and even possibly man made laws? Because that's a fairly slippery slope to climb what with the ideas of what is socially acceptable changing quite quickly, not to mention that each society has different ideas on how to act. And if we look at laws, some States still have laws that make it illegal to perform sodomy. Well I can say that I don't feel immoral when I and my gal participate in a little bit of sodomy, and I still wouldn't feel immoral even if we did it down in Alabama.

Or are we claiming that cheating is immoral because it usually involves dishonesty? What if you just told your partner that you were cheating, does that absolve you? Or is it still immoral if they suffer emotional distress because of your cheating?

You ask if people still have morals, some said yes. I ask what the heck are morals?

I was raised to always respect the feelings of others and to avoid doing harm to others. I don't know if that is considered to be some sort of moral code, or an indicator of my moral fiber. They just seem like good rules to live by.
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 31
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 5/26/2005 11:27:59 PM
Morality is the most subjective topic ever.........and i wont be suprised if this thread strings for ever........heres my humble opinion..not directed towards anyone in particular...

What is immoral in one country is normal in another.
What is immoral for the slave is moral for the master.
A wild woman is considered immoral by some cultures while a man doing the same is seen as a stud by that same culture.
Cannibals dont think theyre immoral.
In some remote cultures incest is not considered immoral.
Some consider public nudity natural..while some consider it immoral

I can type out these paradoxes until my fingers bleed...but you get the picture


My opinion : question your own morality not others......because others seldom live by your values.....the act of questioning anothers morality is in itself "immoral".

best wishes all....may you find the strength to change the things you can...the serenity to accept the things you cant and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.
 ravessa
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 34
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/17/2005 6:12:26 PM

Ask questions BEFORE stating a moral position that way,a liar can't feel you out to say what they may think YOu want to hear.



WOW am I late reading that advice. Like 20 years.

Good point Marathonman. I'll keep it in mind. Thanks!
 ravessa
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 36
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/17/2005 6:19:42 PM

I just don't understand why people have to cheat. If they are not happy,,,,then get out.


For some it's a matter of low self-esteem. They need that physical reassurance that someone (anyone) still finds them attractive. And it doesn't matter that they have someone who finds them attractive in their relationship...that's old news, they've had it. They want to know they're attractive to someone new...or that they're still attractive to someone they used to have.

The advice I received the most when I told people I was getting divorced was "don't have rebound sex with him". That just blew my mind. That's NOT happening. Like Marathonman said, you have to look at the person's character. If they've lied to you in the past or treated you disrespectfully, then odds are they haven't changed. I think people can change. They can learn ethics, morals, values (however you want to label them) but that doesn't happen very often.
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 37
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/17/2005 7:47:58 PM


Where have morals gone?


You know, not long ago you would have been considered immoral for getting a divorce and engaging in pre-marital sex.
 ravessa
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 40
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 4:52:40 AM

I am still devasted that he had such little respect for me to think that I would even consider this.



Syllie, your ex sounds a lot like mine. Don't let him hurt you so much emotionally because he wasn't even considering how his question would make you feel. He was thinking about HIS needs at the time and his needs have nothing to do with yours. Thinking about how he made you feel probably isn't something he's capable of doing. That would require him to empathize and some people don't have that ability.
 ravessa
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 44
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 8:32:39 AM

This man defintely does not have the ability to emphasize. And he has always only thought of himself first, for the whole 15 yrs that I have known him. I was very hurt at the time, cause I was going through alot of self esteem issues already, and this just brought my self esteem to a final low.


Hmm...your ex and mine sound like psychic twins.

At first I was feeling very hurt and rejected when my ex started having another affair, but then I realized that he couldn't truly reject me because even after 20 years, he doesn't have a clue who I am. He's always been too wrapped up in himself to consider my needs or desires. He projects his shortcomings onto me and thinks I view the world the same way he does.

Don't let your ex have this kind of power over you. You are the stronger person because you know that you need to do what's right for your son and you put his needs first. I think dads CAN play a VERY important role in their kids lives, but some are more destructive than beneficial. Same can be said for some moms, but it's up to the custodial parent to decide when to back off from pushing contact. Right now my ex is trying to play superdad. It won't last and when he starts undermining my son's self-esteem again, my son will have the option of staying home. I would dearly love for my kids to have a healthy, happy relationship with their dad, but it's not going to happen.
 SaritaTallahassee
Joined: 12/3/2004
Msg: 47
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 9:17:09 AM

Tonight I called my son's dad when I got home from work to go get him some dinner for our son since my other son had my car. He did do it,,,,,,,,,but he had the nerve when he got here to actually proposition me for sex. Said he would take it out on trade. We have been split up for 9 years........and the relationship was over long before that. He has a girlfriend that he lives with and comes here and really expects me to say yes. I was astounded to say the least.

A few months ago, when I was still friends with my last ex boyfriend, we were quite close and he messaged me on msn and talked to me about him and his girlfriend breaking up that day. He was really down, and asked me to come and spend some time with him. Of course, one thing led to another ( I still cared for him alot at the time). After the fact, I find out that he had not actually broken up with his girlfriend yet. Made me feel very low, thinking that I just had sex with someone's boyfriend. Doesn't anybody have morals anymore? I have very high morals, and just can't believe what happened tonight. My morals are so high that if I just start dating someone, I will not see 2 men at the same time. That really makes me feel like I am cheating even though nothing has been said that we are exclusive.

Where have morals gone?


I think it's the conscience. Society increasingly encourages the dismissing of the conscience. A conscience is vital. A belief in what is basically right and what is basically wrong. Lying to someone about breaking up with a girlfriend, to get some sex, is wrong in any language, culture or situation. People that display a loss of conscience or the absence of conscience are sick people.
 Bunnyfunny
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 48
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 9:47:01 AM
MarathonMan, you have an bizarre understanding of what morality is. Lying, cheating, stealing, murdering, whatever, it's all immoral. Morality is derived from the idea of greatest good for the greatest number over the longest period. It breaks down to hurting or deceiving anyone, and it includes being aware of whether one's actions would hurt someone else.

For the most part, men today seem totally oblivious that sleeping with a woman 'just for sex' hurts her. Except for a very few, no woman wants to sleep with a man just for sex. She assumes that if a man sleeps with her, he's at least interested in her and wants something of a relationship.

In my experience, those people that want to blur morality issues by saying that it's different for everybody, generally tend to want to excuse their own lack of morality. Some interesting research (recent) showed that liberal men had less morality, ethics, than anyone else on the planet.
 Bunnyfunny
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 49
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 9:53:36 AM
No, Syllie, most people do not have any morals anymore. Mostly, they don't even know what they are. You see, they were never taught what they were.

Unfortunately, when people threw out religion, they threw out the baby with the bath water. Throughout the ages, morality/ethics have been taught through religion or philosophy. As no one is teaching this nowadays, very few people even grasp what they are.

For the record, morals and ethics are based on the greatest good for the greatest number over the longest period of time. Probably, there were derived over a long period of time as a result of what behavior caused ruptions.

For instance, in early tribal life, is someone was going around murdering other people, most people in the village wouldn't feel very safe. So, it became taboo to murder. Likewise adultery, and even premarital sex. It caused problems. Jealous husbands/wives are known to take revenge. Men who father children are known to skip supporting those children.

Morality evolved in order to take care of their problems and to ensure that people lived happily with each other. It is the same reason we have laws in society.

Those people who tell you that morality is different for everybody are not particularly bright or educated. Invariably, they like the sound of it because it means they can do whatever they like. The fact that they learned some of it from liberal intellectuals doesn't make their opinion particularly valid - just shows how incredibly ignorant they are to believe that hogwash.

So, what do you do? You choose either to remain single until someone actually pops out of the wood work who understands morality, ethics, etc. (and they do exist), or you get screwed in the process.

Believe me, most people are on prozac for a reason.
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 54
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 11:11:29 AM


She assumes that if a man sleeps with her, he's at least interested in her and wants something of a relationship.


Well, you know what happens when you assume...
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 55
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 11:15:00 AM
Actually morality is based on what's best for the individual. We're all egoists in this regard, but most of us try to rationalize our behavior as acting for the common good.
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 57
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 1:20:19 PM
MarathonMan, you have an bizarre understanding of what morality is


@ writingstar,That is your perrogative to THINK,however I CHALLENGE YOU to post 1 thing that I have stated that is in ANY way "bizarre" in understanding or perception. ANYONE can make a statement,but a sign of inttelect is the ablitiy to back it up. Perhaps you can make yourself clear or gain some crediblity if you simply state EXACTLY what I've stated that is "bizare" in my understanding of morality.
 Bunnyfunny
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 59
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 6/18/2005 2:51:46 PM
Marathon Man, I understood you to say that morality is different for different people. No, it's not. It's never okay to murder others, regardless whether some people think it is.
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