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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Help with an ex, I want to move on.....      Home login  
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 lilsunshine1219
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 1
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Help with an ex, I want to move on.....Page 1 of 1    
Ok I need some advice from people who are not involved in my situation. Five months ago I left my boyfriend of nine years, we have an 8 year old son together and I honestly just fell out of love with him I am 27 and met him young. He cannot get over it, I receive 200 plus phone calls a day, am followed and questioned constantly. I am watched at work and there is a history of vandalism on my house and car. I have gotten into a confrontation with him which resulted in a broken nose and a black eye. I will admit I lunged at him when he caused the broken nose?? I have gotten a restraining order, he violated it twice (on police record anyways) and I have just gotten a new set of charges including stalking, harrassment and violation of the restraining order put on him again from another state because I work in mass live in ri.

Ok so heres what I need help with, my son loves his dad and I know he loves his son. With these new charges and everything prior he will spend alot of time in jail. It breaks my heart and have had thoughts on trying to help him out to get less time. I guess I am thinking that I just want him to spend some time away and maybe he will get better and move on. Even though I do not love him anymore I know this is not the man he always was, and I think I feel like I caused this because I left him. I just need some opinions and advice. Should I lock him up and move on or help him get less time.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 2
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Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:13:50 PM
If he loved his son, he would have swallowed his anger/pride and not cause all this drama for their sake if not yours. He did this to himself and he didn't think about his son. Don't lessen the judgement, more likely he's counting on you to do so. If anything you're teaching your son that those who do vandalism, stalking, etc, should not get away with it.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 3
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Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:01:13 PM
Your son needs a mother and if this man's behavior continues to escalate there is a definite possibility that he will kill you and sometimes people that deteriorate like this also decide to kill the x and the child. You say you lunged at him, did you hurl your face into his fist? I know it is hard to see someone you once loved like this but you have to protect yourself and your son, period.

Do what you have to do and encourage him to get counseling while he is in prison. You left him, you did not ask to be harassed and abused. In a perfect world, he would have recognized that a relationship that was empty for either of you would not be good for your child.

If he does the work he needs to do he can get paroled early and at this point, he needs to take responsibility for his choices. If legal proceedings are underway that is good on your end but if something should happen, you should also check into a protective order. In most states a protective order is far better at helping you than a restraining order.
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 4
Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/17/2008 5:17:33 PM
This thread is already posted in a relationship section.
 lilsunshine1219
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 5
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Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:27:50 PM
I know I'm sorry this was my first time posting a thread and I figured it belonged under the relationship section after I posted it here. I didn't know how to delete.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:29:51 PM
It doesn't matter, you can post it here cuz it does relate to having a child, and post it there due to a past relationship. now you know.

good luck and hope you and your son can move on from this.
 msudeere
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 7
Help with an ex, I want to move on.....
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:26:36 AM
Totally agree with verdua post he will not learn untill he is punished . Sorry but he is definately a punk ( hitting you and causing a black eye) . I don't care if you lunged at him a man does not hit a woman .
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