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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why don't more guys give massages?      Home login  
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 Alberio
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 5
why don't more guys give massages?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Hell, it was how the nights typically ended with my ex. She had a stressful job, so I'd give her a massage every night to help her sleep. Like to think I got pretty good at it. It was fun to do, just watching the tension leaving the body. Probably shoulda charged her for it though.
 OptimismVsRealism
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 7
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:16:15 AM
i tried giving a massage once to my ex. i didnt have any lotion or oil, so i used icey hot.


it wasnt a good idea.
 bigshrek
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 12
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 7:19:26 AM
Perhaps they need training...best way to start is with mutual foot massage...you tell 'em, "Ok, whatever I do to you that feels good, you do to me"...then you do to them what feels good to you.

this works with all types of massage...but the best training video I've used was Playboy's Sensual Massage Techniques...it's basically a Long Tease Session. But...ummmm...only use those techniques when you want an LTR...
 CJ8401
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 14
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 7:51:33 AM
I kinda like giving them.

Though sex probably won't come out of it (And don't get me wrong, I don't expect it), the feel of her skin in my hands, and the look on her face or sounds of relaxation definately makes it worth the time to learn.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 20
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:41:22 PM
well I do.
No complaints either.

But I'm afraid they are sexual.
either before or after.
(Hey I'm a guy, I'm wired that way.)

So not something I'd do with just a friend.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 21
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:48:22 PM
Well, I'll speak for myself. I've been giving massages to my very close single female friends since I was 18. But 99% of women seem to think it's a come-on for a man to give a massage to a woman. Men also think it's a come-on for a man to give another man a massage. So I never get to give anyone a massage who is not an incredibly close single female friend, unless she is intending it to lead to sex.

If any other men have had my experiences, then other women and men have conditioned them to only associate massages as a prelude to sex.
 OptimismVsRealism
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 25
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 3:05:47 PM
But why is it that some guys would expect a blowjob in exchange for a massage? I mean, returning the massage is acceptable and expected, and I can see a handjob, tops. Otherwise, it hardly seems like a fair exchange- unless the guy is a trained masseuse and whatnot.


its good to know the difference between you sucking someones **** or not, is a certificate hanging on their wall.

now excuse me while i got attend a 2 week course on how to give a decent massage, so i can get a certificate.
 djrichpowers
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 26
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 4:16:36 PM
I give massages! Good long deep massages just letting you know.
 SilverRay68
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 27
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 4:51:30 PM
Only time I like massages is when I have a muscle pain, and more then 5 min. I get bored receiving or giving. If my lady needs one I'll gladly give it to her, but I'm not very good at it, I tend to do more damage then good.

Carry on!
Ray

PS. Stay away from my feet.
 jd28spot
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 29
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 6:13:20 PM
I LOVE to give massages (and not the "5 minute...good enough" kind either).....long, slow, sensual massages! Head to toe. Have all the oils and lotions right here but no willing candidates. Oh well..........what's a man to do.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 30
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 6:26:47 PM
of course men love to give women massages, we just want to massage the parts of you -that your not so inclined to.
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 31
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:21:34 PM
I do definitely give massages.

But....

I have to reward myself by spanking that ass in return though.
 HillsideCA
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 32
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/21/2008 12:58:19 AM
Well, I can't tell you why more don't except some of what's already been said: it's laziness.

I give 'em. I love to give 'em. No sex required.

I love to get 'em too...again, no "happy ending" required.

My best advice would be to look for a better, less lazy caliber of men.
 jldude
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 36
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/21/2008 10:21:29 PM
Real f****n simple, we suck at them. if we were good at it, we would love to pleasure you with a great massage. But we suck so why waste ours and your time?
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 39
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:44:26 AM

My hands are deadly weapons. One touch, and off to bed you go.
However, I use this knowledge for the good instead of the evil.


When it comes to massages, it's ALL good. I'm putty in his hands
 jimvonbaden2u
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 40
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/22/2008 2:04:24 PM


I thought that guys are not supposed to be afraid of ANYTHING.
Ok... maybe lions, or tigers... but, soft, pedicured, pretty feet... with read toes...
Dang, where are all the foot fetishists when a gal needs them.
(Gal being OP, not moi... this is just a Public Service Announcement... no need to message me offering foot massage... I'm good. Thank you.)



You just pushed my button!

Seriously, most men are lazy, but usually will give a massage only if they think there is something in it for them!

Fortunately for me, the "something in it for them" is an opportunity for a LOT of physical contact in a potentially erotic way! Has worked for years, and thankfully for me most guys never do get it!

Jim
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 43
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 2:08:17 AM
It is simply MAGIC to give one to someone you LOVE. To me anyway. Or, get one for that matter.

And IFFFFFFFFF giving one before sex....!
 Mr. Good man
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 46
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:25:46 AM
I will give a massage if it is someone I truly care for.

Last relationship i was always giving massages, without expecting anything but cuddling on the couch later in return.

I can never relax enough to receive a massage, so I never expect to be given one.

It makes me feel like I am important to her and that I can touch her in a way nobody else can. It certainly helps with trust and can lead to better foreplay and more enjoyable sex if you feel a true connection with your partner.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 50
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:28:01 PM
I can't speak for all guys, but I for one love to give massages. Just knowing they are enjoying me rubbing out their stress and massaging away their soreness and all that goes with it is so nice, for both of us. Good luck though OP, you'll find a good one, one day that not only knows how to do it right, but will enjoy doing it often for you.
 Onyxed
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 51
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/24/2008 3:50:52 AM
In my experience the "More Blowjobs = More Massages" didn't even come close to balancing out!
 Shylent
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 54
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:48:03 PM
OP: pity your in canada and i'm in the usa and without a passport we would get along well lol.

I'm and affectionate person by nature, especially around people i like and am close with.
One of the ways i like to show affection or let someone know i like them and care is by massages.

Unfortunately i suffer from the same problem that you do. I end up giving them FAR more than i receive them. Like you i wish that wasn't so as i love to get them too.
For me massages are not a sex thing either they are an affection thing.

I think many people men and women both dont give them often is because they ARE work to the one giving them.
Even giving a 5-10 minute backrub gets my hands tired pretty quickly. that and it can be kinda boring. Then there is the knowledge factor, most people don't know how to.
Being able to give them though doesn't take much to do to learn to give decent/okay ones.
Just get some massages and try to duplicate what feels good on you and listen to the person your giving them. some people like em hard some like em soft ya have to be able to listen to the feedback receiver gives you. just like with sex. moans means your doing it right and OwOwOwOW! means your doing too hard or wrong for that person and a softer approach might be needed.

For any of y'all who like to get massages and you find someone who likes to give them, ya gotta give some back if you want to keep getting them.
Kinda along the same lines of "scratch my back and i'll scratch yours".
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 56
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:32:49 PM
Any man should have the ability to give a good massage in his quiver of talents, if you want to really please a woman totally. Of course , some women are less into them than others.

After a long day, even something as simple as a properly done foot massage can work wonders. Turn down the lights, put on some soft music, and perhaps add some scented candles for additional effect.

Done properly, you can expect a smile to result on her face that you could not take off with a power sander.

The expectation of sex in return (at least right away) is not part of the equation in such instances, btw. That simply reduces it to "I'll do something for you, if you do something for me."

The enjoyment in both cases should come from the act in and of itself, and not any expectations of a reward for the thought.
 gjay1
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 57
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:41:48 AM
theres nothing so relaxing as a good massage- im a qualified massage therapist - its not my main job but i do it in my spare time and also for friends...
so of course most of the massages i do are entirely non-sexual but with that special someone (ok ages ago lol!!) i love to do a massage thats can lead anywhere we want it to....lovely to get one in return but not part of the deal!!
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 61
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 3/8/2008 5:50:11 PM
I think you have to be willing to give a massage without expectation of anything in return, it is a gift of your skills and time you give to someone .To expect something
in return will cheapen the gift.
I do enjoy giving a message, and each one has to be as awsome as I can make it.It's
like a personal challenge for me.[that means Im not stoping until I turn you into
a stick of melted butter]and those sounds a woman makes when you do it right are plenty of payment.

I started about 10yrs. ago when a barmaid friend of mine asked me to try my hand
at it,taking over for someone that wasn't good at it.To explain a little she suffered
from Croans disease[hope thats spelled right] and had some painfull days from it.
It turns out I was a natural at it. she helped me learn what was good , and not , and
I was amazed at the power human touch had over her pain.Well I have spent the
last 10 yrs perfecting my craft. I have actually looked into getting my theropy
license, but the classes conflict with my work ,so for now it't tabled.
o. p . good luck in finding some one who can do this for you. If you get to
Troy ohio look me up ,you can have a rain check for one if you want it.
 Hairtrigger
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 63
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:12:59 PM

I don't get it, why is it some men flat out refuse to give them? Or if they do it's a lukewarm half hearted attempt which is usually along the lines of rub rub, okay sex now?


I can't answer for all guys, but I've always loved giving full-body massages. I think where it gets old is if the guy tries to give the woman pleasure and then feels that there's no reciprocity. It's not necessarily one-for-one -- massage=bj or whatever, but if, over time, things are grossly uneven, the guy loses interest. I know I do.
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