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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?      Home login  
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 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 1
Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?Page 1 of 1    
Have you met someone and the sparks fly, halfway through you realize the one thing you love is the one thing they won't do? Does it end the physical side, what are your compromises and what are simply the "must haves".

I will get the ball rolling, I compromise on kissing and oral but ONLY if the sex otherwise is mind blowing. I have discovered through frustration that these two things really mean alot to me and what was once a compromise is now ... a must have. Now the oral is oral performed on me, which I can take or leave but its important that a guy who loves BJs for example be WILLING to reciprocate in theory.
 Wylie_Coyote
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
Posted: 3/12/2008 10:00:35 AM
Blonde Charm,

If the couple isn't compatible the relationship won't work.

Yeah, you may give up oral in the event that you can feel satisfied somewhere else but it is a sacrifice and ultimately will bring in animosity towards your partner.

Would it be any different if one partner habitually spent more than they made or mixing a neat freak with a slob? Compromises in a relationship are normal and are to be expected but we all have needs that must be fulfilled.

My sexual compromise: I like going down but my g/f is a squirter and I got my sinuses filled and became gun shy. After taking a few months off I changed my style and became a breath holding spitter. The noises aren't quite as pleasing for her yet I'm doing my best to go with the flow...

Overall our relationship is complete and we do work through every issue. 10 months now and we haven't found anything worth fighting over.

Just one guy's opinion.
J Mac
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 3
Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:30:53 PM
lol Funny!!! I am a squirter which is why I have latitude over the oral on me. Quite honestly I have control over my "gift" but you are correct if a couple whether married or sexual friends aren't compatible its bound to bring friction.

I have an open relationship where the things my husband may not be comfortable doing, I do try to find a FWB partner who DOES fill in those blanks. It generally works but I found myself giving over a huge amount of time (years) for someone who was less than my standards accept normally. I wonder if compromise is that or its just one person giving up while the other flat out refuses.

I like your point, you are working around the ... issue. Kudos to you and your lucky gf!
 Edmswingr
Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 4
Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:51:04 PM
Well, I think that there are some give and take issues, but if you are not getting what you need then ultimately you will go somewhere else to get it. I have been with my wife for 10 years now, and I have had this conversation with her many times, but her sex drive is nowhere near my own. I am 'self medicating' like 1-2 times a day. And she doesn't stay trimmed either. I like to go down, but I won't go near the jungle monkey she has. Again I have brought this up on several occassions. So now I am taking matters into my own hands and actively seeking some side arrangements. I have always been faithful but I am not going to look back on my life and say WTF I wasted my prime for nothing. There is only one trip here and I am going to make it worthwhile.
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 5
Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:02:11 AM
I hear you passion seaker. My husband understands my needs (his drive is much lower, his tastes differ) so I don't need to hide anything.

Consideration goes a long way for any relationship, sexual or otherwise. I hear you about the trimming, and understand your frustration at not getting enough. You have tried to address the issue, no compromise.

I wish you luck in finding someone understanding and discrete. Discrete being the key word. I was faithful in my first marriage only to find he fell in love with his mistress. I think life should be lived, not endured.
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 6
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Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:06:53 AM
i can be with a girl who doesnt ever wanna perform oral on me
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