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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > do men like to be approached first?      Home login  
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 poorashell
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 3
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do men like to be approached first?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
sandia,
hes a liar if he says no ,everyone loves to be flattered!!!!!!
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 16
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:49:16 AM
Personally I find it very refreshing as I enjoy assertive as well as aggressive women personally as well as professionally.
 AtypicalOrgin
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 19
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/14/2008 8:14:26 AM
I like being approached but there is a limit to the excessiveness.

I was at a local pub once and a woman walked up to me and told me, " I was going home with her at the end of the night."

I said, is that right??

She proceeded to run her hand down my pants and grabbed herself a handful and said, "YES." Like she wasn't taking NO for an answer!!

I laughed, reached down, grabbed her arm and withdrew her hand from my crotch and told her if she needs a fix to use the bath spout or call 1-800-man-toys.

I like aggressiveness but I still desire respect in the process....

Some men may have liked that though!!

If I had known this woman maybe I would have reacted differently because I enjoy this type of aggression but she was a total stranger and she was extremely rude about the whole situation.

Made my decision easy…..REJECT, REJECT, REJECT!!

Confidence is extremely attractive but brazen disrespect is a complete and utter turn-off!
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 21
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:29:10 AM
If the woman does it subtly, of course. The best way is to have a girlfriend ask you to approach her. That shows tact and does not change the roles. It's an "invitation to ask". The woman simply has her girlfriend mention to you, discreetly, that her friend would like to meet you. Then you just stroll over knowing that your attempt will be received warmly.
 girlcantalktoo
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 22
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:22:00 AM
A lot of guys shy away when there are approached .......Have noticed that in clubs...It's like if they were interested in you and then you approached them that's ok .....
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 31
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:52:22 AM
I know I sure do, that is a good indication that there is or might be mutual interest. Also saves me from the devastation of being rejected by approaching her first, as I have been in the past a few times. So, sure, we love to be approached first, go for it ladies.
 GREAT EXPERT 800
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 34
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:52:00 AM
sometimes i like when women approach me in person because its basically telling me their interested in geting busy. sometimes i get a little shy when they approach me. i really like getting e-mail from women on this site first, especially when they compliment you or your profile, thats like an online booty call....lol
 Purple Tang
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 37
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:50:05 PM
It has happened to me on more than one occasion, but I was married and it was always for the wrong reasons, it's flattering to a certain degree, but when your wearing a wedding band it's not something that I respect under that circumstance.

Now that I'm not married, I wouldn't have an issue as long as it's not done aggressively with only 1 thing in mind. If she can initiate a conversation, I wouldn't refuse, that would be unkind and unsocial.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 40
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:47:12 AM

mcbobly wrote: Also saves me from the devastation
of being rejected by approaching her first, as I have
been in the past a few times.

I've seen many times after a man or woman has been
harshly rejected they upgrade their approach technique
and go on to amazing success, so it may not be you that's
being rejected, but the way you're doing it.

Maybe, but I always try to do it tactfully and try not to come across as an arrogant a$$ or rudely, possibly I have been out of the "loop" too long to remember exactly how it's done...LOL. Either way, I will continue from time to time and maybe try to brush up on the ol skills.
 seriouslyhorney
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 44
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:06:07 PM
i don't know about most men, but i do, the chase is childish
 scoutniagara
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 45
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:34:26 PM
I love it. It takes some of the guesswork out for the man. I'd never turn down a lady who asked for a dance, either. I've been on the other foot over the years, and I'd find it a compliment. Thanks...nakde
 ChicagoStyle
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 47
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:57:06 AM
Yes, they do. Some don't for whatever reason but I think a lot of guys wouldn't mind it. It takes a lot of pressure off of the guy.

Unless he's not into her and he has to be the one to give out the fake phone number or pray his buddies come rescue him.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 52
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:43:50 PM
I never approach them. I wait til they come to me.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 59
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:56:14 PM
For me it can be a turn-on, but most of the same rules apply for women as for men:
don't waste my time with corny pick-up lines, just tell the truth and be yourself.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 60
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:24:10 PM


whoissue wrote:
So...let's get this right? Guys really do like when a lady approaches them, huh? Are guys just shy or afraid of rejection so they kind of like if ladies do the approaching? Kind of takes the pressure off of them. Nothing wrong with that. :)


My results improved dramatically when I stopped worrying about what people like, and paid attention instead to what makes them feel attraction.
LMAO ... Said the man who is a "Freelance exotic dancer".

A man who has women running at him all the time certainly is in a position to tell us. I guess we've got to believe him on this one.

It's been my experience that most men do not like having women approach them unless it's closing time in 5 minutes and they still do not have a "lay" arranged for that night. I have noticed that at first they act like they are flattered as hell, but in the end, they end up driving the lady off with their inappropriate remarks ... especially when they're with their friends and want to look all "Bad A$$" in front of them. I suppose it could be the booze talking as well ...
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 62
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:32:20 PM
Well ... I've lived in a lot of different places ... traveled to many more ... and I have to say without exception ... the men I have approached are pretty rude about it ... some are even downright crude.

They seem to think that just because I am approaching them, that all I want is SEX. If that is a man's take on a woman approaching him ... then there's no secret why most women do not want to approach men. They don't want the man to think that all they want is sex with him.

For the last two and a half years ... all I have ever wanted is just to make friends. I haven't even been looking for a date ... been too involved dealing with my own personal tragedy ... purposely haven't wanted to get a man involved in that. So for sure, I have not been "coming on" to men.

I guess they're so programmed to believe that only "sluts" or "professional" women would approach a man ... they think that all women are like that. Well, we're not. We can be just as lonely as anyone else and just be seeking friendship and/or companionship.

I've met so many men on here (mostly at POF parties) and there is no so-called "chemistry" ... and that's fine with me when just seeking a friendship. It's amazing ... those guys would rather sit home alone in front of the TV than accept an invitation to go out. And I don't expect them to pay my way ... just accompany me out. They can choose the venue ... I'm flexible.

Inevitably, in the course of the conversation ... even though I have made it clear that I'm not looking for a date ... not looking for a relationship ... they open their mouths and some alien must take over, because they end up saying ... "Look, I really don't like it when women 'chase' me ... and I'm not feeling any chemistry with you, so I will not be sleeping with you either."

It's pretty difficult to render me speechless ... but that line will do it every time. So as far as I'm concerned, you men can come in here and post to your heart's content that you enjoy having a woman approach you ... but in the end, I've discovered sooner or later, the true feelings come out and while perhaps the first moment it is flattering ... most men end up becoming an A$$ about it.

I guess it's really true ... men really can't ever just be friends with women. Either they have to screw them or ... screw them over?
 nocalsingledad
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 64
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:16:22 PM
I would have to say yes
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 67
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:57:55 AM
I don't like to walk up to a woman and she says "no " . that why I like it IF the woman makes the first move . YES , I love it whan you ladies make a move on us men . even if she tells me " let me show you what I can do " TURN ON YES .
 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 68
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:06:00 AM
Very much of a turn on
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 69
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:32:34 AM
At least TEN of the dozen or so ladies I have MET here, [face to face] sent me the FIRST opening email. Nuff said. And it would be the same IF out in a social atmosphere... Confidence can be ver sexy.
 Midwesterngal
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 74
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:48:51 PM
I have a hard time approaching men when I see them in public and can't seem to go up and ask them out or whatever. I'm naturally very opinionated usually and open, but it's too hard for me to approach a guy.

I, however, tried it a few times in my past and each time was a flop. I don't know how they took it or anything, but it felt so uncomfortable for me.

I would rather be chased and if a guy were to see me in public and like me, I want him to approach me. Maybe I'm just too old-fashioned and think it's up to the guys.

That's just me.

 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 75
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:51:32 PM
The last thing I'd want to do is to approach an unavailable woman and if she's attractive to me then I typically believe she is going to be unavailable.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 78
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:54:38 PM

Confidence can be ver sexy.

YES , I love it whan you ladies make a move on us men . even if she tells me " let me show you what I can do " TURN ON YES .

Very much of a turn on

I prefer it that way, I find assertive women a turn on, and in todays legal climate I feel safer that way!

I absolutely love a woman who will go after what she wants, definite yes here...


Well ...
**What if she's not your type?
**What if she's not especially the nicest-looking woman in the room?
**What if she's a tad over-weight?

I have seen such situations ... been out with women who attempted the "approach" and I'm here to tell you that the men can be pretty cruel about it. They don't give the woman a chance to prove herself ... just reject her and go chase after the chick they can't possibly get.

Not only have I witnessed that, but to add to the cruelty of it ... they walk by then and purposely talk loud to each other ... "Yeah ... that's the one ... thought she might be my type ... BLECH!!!!" I'm sure women do the same to men, but have any of you who talk about it being such a turn on done that to women?

Of course, I'm a plain Jane type and cannot afford to be mean to men ... there just aren't all that many looking my way to begin with ... ... I'm sure not gonna do anything to run them off ...
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 81
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:57:44 PM
demanding and impatient where are those woman . I'll chase after her . I WANT A WOMAN WHO IS IMPATIENT . I want the relationship to start NOW .
 afishcalledjack
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 83
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:09:47 AM
Of course it's flattering.

It's how my previous long-term relationship got started.

I'm so glad she made the first move because I didn't really notice her before.

I only knew her as the quiet, shy girl who wore glasses.

She was one of the most beautiful, attractive women I've ever known.

Three years ago we broke up. Last May she passed away.

So go ahead and make the first move. You have nothing to lose, and so much you could gain.

Happy out in a "social atmosphere."

Cheers,
afishcalledjack
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