|Meeting halfway?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|I see nothing wrong with admitting your car is less than reliable. I think dirt and the paint is the only thing holding mine together, which is part of the reason I avoid the car wash. |
If someone is not able to understand your reality, that is their problem and loss not yours.
However, that said, I have borrowed a car on ocassion, and even rented them when I have a long journey to make that I feel old Betsy is not able to do safely.
It all depends how bad the want is.
How interested are you ???
How interested are they ???
Have you built up a good rapport with any of these men, or has it been a couple of emails ???
Do you feel a mutual connection of some sort ???
Depending on the person, I would be more than willing to fly half way to facilitate meeting.
Geez, if there was a very special bond, I'd be willing to go by foot.
Posted: 3/15/2008 7:05:30 PM
|Why not suggest to the guy that if he drives to your town, you will pay for the meal. Personally I always did the driving and paid for the meal, too; but, if you really want to share the costs, but not have to drive, that would seem the logical thing to do.|
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:08:54 PM
|Hey, what if after the second or third time you meet him you can give him a VERY good reason to drive the whole 2 hours?....yeah a good reason would be to be in your presence ,but if you gave him a VERY good reason(if you catch my drift) he'll come to you on a skateboard if he had to....lolol|
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:34:11 PM
|I would have no problems meeting a woman at a place that is closer to her residence than my residence. If a woman wanted me to drive all the way to her town and she lived more than 1 hour than me, I would stop talking to her. Not necessarily because I think she is selfish ( That would depend on the reasons why she wants me to drive to her ). I simply wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I constantly have to drive a long distance to see a woman.|
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:55:30 PM
First things first... Honesty is always the best policy. If you feel you have to lie in order to get past the next step, or hide something about yourself, then the guy is not for you... That simple.
Next... In answer to your question... I think how the guy responds to your particular issues is really about how you present them.
Some good suggestions have been made here that follow along a general principal... so I will spell out the principal. If the guy asks you to drive half way, explain why you wish not to. You have perfectly valid reasons.
If you stop there, the guy might think you were blowing him off. But if you then offer an "equalizer" showing that you are prepared to put as much effort into the meeting as he is, although in a different way, no guy should have a problem with that. I happen to think your picnic approach is wonderful!
Of course, if he has a similar issue, then the both of you need to find a more creative approach of bridging the gap.
As an example, I went to meet a lady 2 hours away from here by plane once. It would have been pointless to meet in the middle... But as it turned out she worked in the hotel industry and could get a great deal on a hotel room. So that was her contribution to the meeting. Although we mutually agreed upon meeting that we would be friends, we both hada good time. It was a great way to spend my 40th birthday.
Another poster asked...
Why do we always think that special one has to live across the miles.
While I don't think she has to live far away, I just don't rule out the possibility.
While it would be wonderful if the person I seek was nice and close, I can not think of anyone next door I would care to date. All distances thereafter are relative to each person.
Indeed, many simply refuse to consider the concept of "longer distances"... whatever they are to each person... the reasons vary.
Then there are those, such as myself, who refuse to let what I refer to as geographical inconvenience get in the way. The more serious individuals are about finding the person they seek, the farther they are likely to go to find them.
It is a given however, that if the relationship becomes "serious", one or both of you are going to have to move. This normally happens anyway, but the bigger the distance of the move, the bigger the step it becomes. Just make sure were it is you know in advance were you stand on that subject as well.
Some people can move easily... they have skills that are in demand anyway they care to go, and very little "keeping" them were they are. The opposite end of the spectrum might be a single person with children that can not me moved for any variety of reasons.
At one time I thought the idea of LD was something that could never work. Then I saw two people connect who were diagonally across the globe from each other. And other couples with varieties of distance have since made it work that I am aware of. So I was forced to re-examine my thinking.
Best of luck to you... And take a picture of the look on the guy's face when he sees your picnic. It will probably be priceless!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:02:57 AM
|One other point here is interesting... And I bring it up only because I was previously reading a thread that was discussing "gender equality".... "discussing being a very kind way of describing it... LOL|
Now before I get flamed here, please note, this is simply an observation.... not an indictment. Personally, although each situation is unique, I generally offer to do the travelling first, because it is just the way I do things.
But in a day and age were men and women are supposed to be equal, I note that the vast majority of posters so far on this thread believe that it is the man that is supposed to do the travelling in situations were travelling is required.
Double Standard? You decide.
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:36:41 PM
|i think this blonde bimbo needs to be on meds..you think? and her long ass manic profile....and her 10,000 pics of her chest.......34 A breast..alittle too insecure for me... 1 blonde ambition needs help and therapy..alittle insecure|
Posted: 3/22/2009 11:29:56 PM
|It takes 2 making an extra effort for a long distance relationship to work. |
And I think traveling to visit the other person is better than meeting halfway, it almost happened with me a few weeks ago.
Except I blew it.....backed out a couple days before and she was not impressed, I had my reasons but the biggest one was what if I fell for her and then I started thinking........how am I going to make this work.
I like doing spontaneuos things when I'm seeing a lady.......take her out for lunch, pick her up for a beer after work, hit the beach or go for a drive.
That won't happen with a long distance relationship.....everything has to be planned in advance and crammed into a short period of time.
I suppose sometimes it does work but you really have to be ready for all that it takes to make a long distance relationship work.
I guess I was'nt......... it's a shame cause she's a nice gal.
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:04:23 AM
|Well now,,,,,,here's a post that needs deletion:|
think this blonde bimbo needs to be on meds..you think? and her long ass manic profile....and her 10,000 pics of her chest.......34 A breast..alittle too insecure for me... 1 blonde ambition needs help and therapy..alittle insecure
Dude, this is a typical case of the pot calling the kettle black. Get your own meds under control.
Naughtical, my sweet friend, you are, after all, living in the south. Real men have no issues with meeting you in your comfort zone AND paying the tab. Any man who has a problem here is definetly NOT worth your time or consideration.
"To thine own self be true,,," and tell the truth, always.