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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > The gum trick      Home login  
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 1
The gum trickPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I've only been dating for about a year now and I'm still essentially trying to figure it all out, as it is my nature to do so. One thing that I've noticed in my experiences thus far is that, on occasion, at some point during the date (usually following a meal, but not immediately), the girl will pop some mint flavored gum into her mouth and subsequently offer me a piece. Initially, I thought this to be only a courtesy, but then it occurred to me: what a clever trick it would be to offer your date some breath-freshening gum to signal the desire for a good-night kiss.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a brilliant tactic this is. It can be incredibly awkward when a guy goes in for a kiss only to find that the girl is unsure or uninterested. By offering the gum, the girl is essentially giving the guy a green light without actually coming out and saying it (which is also extremely awkward). Then, if the guy doesn't pick up on this hint or isn't interested himself, there is no discomfort to either individual. Simple, yet effective.

I've found that the most difficult part of dating, for me, has been knowing when (and how) to initiate physical contact (including kissing). A trick like this seems like it would be an enormous help in this regard, and I'd like to hear some thoughts about it. Guys, have you found that you've been more successful kissing girls who use the gum trick? Ladies, is this one of your signals, or am I completely mistaken?
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 2
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The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:44:05 PM
This is a tricky one. I have used the offering of gum as a signal that I want a guy to kiss me but I have also used it when someone has bad breath. If a girl chews some gum herself and offers some to you then it probably isn't a sign you have bad breath but it could be that she is just sharing her gum with you, to be polite. I don't think it is a reliable signal at all.
I think there are other more subtle ways to know what is going on in your date's head. In the course of the conversation, gently touch the lady's forearm, does she flinch away (in disgust) or stay put (because she is comfortable with it). If she also returns your touch at some point, I think this gives you a very clear signal that she wants you to kiss her. If you want to kiss her, ask if she would mind. Women often prefer a warning and a choice. Too many men just dive in without so much as a 'by your leave'.
But the gum is unreliable!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 4
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The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:55:59 PM
Ewwwwwwwww GROSS.....I know that any guy chewing gum will get nothing from me but the back of my head as I'm walking away!
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 5
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The gum trick is a hoax!
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:35:46 PM
What if it was a way to prevent a kiss. He starts going in for the kiss, and I say "sorry, I can't. I've got gum in my mouth."
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 6
The gum trick is a hoax!
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:40:49 PM
What an interesting variety of responses. Clearly I've been misreading this one, or at the very least I shouldn't be using it as a cue.

Just to clarify something, every time this has happened to me there has always been an opportunity for us to trash the gum before night's end, and most of the time we've both ditched it, so that's not an issue.

I agree that there might be some better signals out there, and I like the idea of using touch and body language as possible cues, but in my experience I've found that these, too, can be misleading. Perhaps the girl is flirtatious by nature and just likes to play around. Perhaps she's shy and just naturally draws back from an advance, even despite some desire to be kissed/touched. There are just so many possibilities to consider.

I can count on two hands the number of girls I've kissed, and the circumstances surrounding each one has been entirely unique without any common denominator. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that there is no such thing as a reliable signal, as much as I'd like for there to be.

Let me just say one more thing to those people who suggested using touch as a way to initiate a kiss. For me, initiating touch is far more difficult than going in for a kiss - especially if it involves more intimate areas of the body (non-sexual, however), such as the arms, hair, neck, cheek, etc. So, I'm always trying to find ways to sneak the kiss in there first so I know there will be some kind of response.

Oh, and I don't touch my friends playfully. That, to me, is kinda weird.
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 7
The gum trick is a hoax!
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:26:15 PM
dude, all you need to do is go for it, stop thinking about it and jsut make the move, as you get better at anything from practice
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 8
The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:37:13 PM
There is NO GUM TRICK!
It would be a cool way to hint at a good night kiss.
It almost sound like the MOVIE TRICK. You know "Come over to my house let's watch a movie" That means sex!!
I am not into that trick!! Sometimes you just want to relax and not feel rushed if the convo is good. A movie and pizza at my place should not equal sex!!!!!
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 9
The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:46:05 PM
I am suddenly reminded why I have always been so disgusted with the human race. I'd like to say thanks to everyone who offered up a straight response - I appreciate your input and value your opinions. Those of you responding with sarcasm and ridicule can suck it.
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 10
The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 5:47:35 PM
I suppose we all respond differently to different things, but yes, I am much more turned on by the touch of a woman's skin than by her lips/tongue. Maybe that's unusual, but it's me.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 11
The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:32:46 PM
It's not the gum. It's the color of the gum. If it's green, it's go. If it's red, it's no. If it's black, get out fast. Ordinary tan gum? No message.

Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 12
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The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:39:55 PM
As the good doctor said “some times a cigar is just a cigar”


But then some of us have TMJ and wouldn’t chew gum if you paid us anyway. LOL…

I actually looked at this tread thinking the “gun trick” was going to be some version of the “cheery stem” trick I hadn’t heard of yet; I used to know a girl that was very good at the cheery stem trick… talent… yes… she had great uh… talent… /sigh…
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 13
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The gum trick
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:41:35 PM
^^^ HaHa! Wooby that's funny WAIT, What if??it's not just the COLOR of 'The Gum', but the KIND.... *gaps* like that gum that s-q-u-i-r-t-s?!? omg..THEN what would the Guy think??
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 14
The gum trick
Posted: 3/17/2008 9:12:00 AM
Oh no! No wonder I wasn't getting kissed! I missed the meeting on the gum trick!

Actually, I'm not a gum chewer, never have been (my mother considered it a tacky, ugly habit and wouldn't allow it, so...early training dies hard) and thus, it wouldn't be something I'd use to offer a person either because he had bad breath or because I wanted a kiss. I'm also with the other poster just thinking it's not enticing, if I'm looking at the person's mouth imagining a kiss, (which I know I do!) I'd rather not see (and hear) the chomping. By the way, that is something I remember reading somewhere - if the person you're interested in stares at your mouth a lot while you're talking, he likely wants to kiss you, and vice versa!

 hanging In
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 15
The gum trick
Posted: 3/17/2008 9:16:43 AM
If you can take the simple offering of gum and turn it into something other than, she is offering you gum stupid, you must have played dungeons and dragons with the non-cool guys back in school.
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 17
The gum trick
Posted: 3/18/2008 9:14:46 PM
"Ladies, is this one of your signals, or am I completely mistaken?"

You are completely mistaken.
But it's a good idea if anyone offers you gum....take it! As matter of fact, I think it's in the date/party etiquette manuel isn't it?
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 18
The gum trick
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:42:58 AM
If she gives you a mint, AND invades your space...assume she's probably a human being who plans ahead.

Grab her quick! People who plan ahead are keepers! :)
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 19
The gum trick
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:38:04 AM
You should try the "shoe trick".

This is very simple. First you complement her on her shoes, then you ask her if you can see them. She will usually give the shoe to you. Then you sniff it. If she makes a face like you are totally nuts. It's on, she likes you. Then you take off your own shoe and give it to her. If she sniff it as well, you too are made for life. If she continues to give you a look as if you were nuts, it means she may like you. Then take her other shoe. Put them on and walk in a circle around her. If she doesn't hit you with her bag and screams at you, you are on, she likes you. If she just runs away as far as she can screaming... Well, end of date, but she may respond to your emails....NOT.

Ludicrous? Hell, it's as effective than the "Gum trick."

 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 20
The gum trick
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:12:55 PM
Your breath may have been gross enough to gag a maggot and she was being kind as she could have found you kissable aside from the breath. It could have been worse, she may just not have wanted to kiss you from the get go, and the gum may not have come into play at all. If it is a recurring problem, visit your dentist. That's all!
 hanging In
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 21
The gum trick
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:30:18 AM
My previous comment was to say that everything is not a sign of anything. Someone has gum and they offer you gum...That's just being polite. The only thing decided in this case is whether to take the gum and say, "thank you", or not accept the gum. If people get so wrapped up in what offering a piec of gum means, you may need to get out more often.
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 22
The gum trick
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:01:16 AM
If the piece she is offering is the same piece she is already chewing, that is a signal that she wants to kiss you.

Otherwise, she is just being polite.
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 23
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The gum trick
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:56:58 PM
Good lord folks... y'all reckon she may just be acting polite. I mean, if you don't bring gum for everyone, don't break it out.
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 24
The gum trick
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:11:15 PM

Hmm!!! I usually offer my dates a jaw breaker or a lolly pop.

Stuff like that is why I love the POF forums. I am trying to remember now if a guy has ever offered something hard for me to suck on after a date. Hmmm??? What could it mean if he does?
 Tight Curves
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 25
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The gum trick
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:16:13 PM
So the point of the initial thread was knowing when, cues, etc to go for the first kiss, right? How about just asking her if you may kiss her at the end of the date????

I happen to respect and appreciate it more when I'm asked. It shows her your manners and respect. No reading cues necessary... you want to kiss her, therfore you ask to kiss her. I've had many first dates that I was not interested in and they were interested in kissing me... much rather of been given the opportunity to say "no thank you" than to receive an unwanted kiss. And why not start with a nice innocent kiss. If she wants more, she can let you know... and pull you in for "more of a kiss" and if she's not THAT interested, but just accepting of an innocent kiss... she won't. well that's my preference anyways.

Where's the smilie for calling a duck a duck?

Good luck with the smooches!!!!
 Leiam Conway
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 26
The gum trick
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:10:48 PM
i have never heard of this. It sounds intresting though....... Mabye i should look more into it....
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 27
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The gum trick
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:47:12 AM

Ladies, is this one of your signals, or am I completely mistaken?

As some have pointed earlier, it could be 'bad breath' issue but for me chewing gum is simply a replacement for a toothbrush. Nothing to worry about, I chew discreetly and once flavour has gone so the gum was going in the bin.

Sorry OP, I've never heard about the desire/trick for a goodnight kiss.
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