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 Super_Mister_Right
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 8
is there faithful or decent men out therePage 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
hi "red-alert". I happen to be that decent faithful Man who is Deeply interested in finding that special lady and marrying her. The problem is that, when you are a decent Man, some women call you a wimp. If not, they call you a Jerk. The Real problem especially with dating websites is that Women have Too many Choices. "Why settle for Great, when You can have Excellent"?
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 9
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:48:56 AM
msg#2: "you should listen to Eddie Murphy "Raw". It's pretty funny... he says all men are programmed to cheat. It's just whether they act on it or not. So essentially all men are cheaters they just don't all act on it. And it usually has nothing to do with you."

Well, if EDDIE MURPHY said it, it HAS to be true...lol I think I would believe it more if Oprah or Maury actually said it....not.

OP, my first wife cheated, not me. Guess I'm one of those cheaters that have never acted on it...nor ever will.


~ds~
 janice31
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 11
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:54:14 AM
i agree that its not only men that cheat i have seen women do it to.i am one of those who has been burned by men cheating but keep hope that there are still decent men out there.and if a decent man is called a wimp then so be it guess i am looking for a wimp.to me if you dont cheat you are a great guy and deserve a pat on the back.and to be honest most of the time like the other people have said its you thats attracting them i have realized this and have worked to fix it and if they come around there are signs i turn the other way and dont give them a chance.
 JamesP166
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 15
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:07:05 AM
some (many) women tend to be attracted to the bad boys. - -

and guess what you get what you should expect from one of the bad boys.

Jim P.
 dogs rule
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 25
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:38:56 AM
Yes were out here but were getting screwed over by the women that are unfaithful and not decent. Anyone else asking, your looking in the wrong place I am here in St Louis.

As for they don't know what they lost till they lose it. You might be right, but it sounds more like they left it rather than they lost it.

I don't believe that 80% of all men cheat. Out of all the married men I have known I know of more women that cheated then men. for men I know probably 20% cheated. And the men that got cheated on never seen it coming, they thought the marriage was good.
 Sentinel83
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 26
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:45:57 AM
OP, as has been stated before, a lot of women are attracted to the bad guys, and leave the good guys out in the cold. And then the women who had a choice between the good guys and bad, and picked the latter, and just came out of a bad relationship and were cheated on, start asking where all the good guys are, and the good guys come along again, trying to get their attention, only to be rejected again, and so on it goes, it's a vicious cycel, at least that's what I've seen in my experience of it. So the advice I would give you is stop being so attracted to the bad guys.
We faithful, decent men are out there, we're just waiting to be given a chance.
I know this sounds like a kind of harsh message and maybe not exactly what you were hoping to hear, but honestly I'm trying to help. I hope all goes well and I wish you all the best. Good luck! ;)
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 48
Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:06:57 PM

I was always taught that there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. ;)


No, there are only questions asked of stupid people.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 50
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:18:17 PM
^^^ "Fabricating phantom studies shows a lack of honesty, integrity and intelligence"

But that CAN'T be....it says right in her profile, she's honest??? WTH??! rolleyes:


~ds~ :
 liznude
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 51
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:18:23 PM
This is the best thread yet! You guys (men) are harsh, but what you all have said I would agree with. I have nothing profound to add, just find it quite humorous.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 52
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:21:05 PM
The only commonalities in the relationships is you. I have never broken up with a man because he cheated nor have I ever had any reason to believe afterwards that he did either. The men I have dated whether it worked out or not were honest decent people. I would question the type of men you seem to be choosing.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 54
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is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:25:45 PM
No, seriously mxk883....there's an article about it....and a study was done....and everything....seriously.


~ds~
 dogs rule
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 63
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:57:00 PM

5. It happens over and over again. No one let's go of the anger. Everyone assumes everyone is like that, and presto...angry person is left, assuming everything, whether right, wrong or indifferent.

LOUD BUZZ SOUND!!!! think again. not every assumes that and has issues letting go of anger. If your like that don't assume every one else is.
I have had women cheat on me and I still trusted every woman I dated after till they gave me reason not to. I have even had friends ask me why I am so trusting. I look at it like this, if their going to cheat they will, why worry about it with out knowing. I just hope I will find out before its to late, like after they gave me a disease. I don't expect the women I date to cheat and the ones that have it was a big surprise to me and our friends
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 69
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:17:40 PM


Msg: 1 -- you men dont know what youve lost till its gone.... is it really worth it?


I could ask the same question of some of the women with whom I have been involved. I have ALWAYS been a one-woman man. But, repeatedly, I have been with women who have chosen to "go out on me" with other men.

But do you know the SHOCKER? It is when they decide to come back and PRETEND nothing significant happened. And then, NOTICE their UTTER AMAZEMENT when I say "You made your choice, and with THAT you ENDED our relationship. And NOW you offer a CHOICE? THERE NEVER WAS A CHOICE FOR ME!!!! YOU CHOSE HIM OVER ME!!!! LIVE WITH IT AND DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Now, switching back to a more rational thought-mode, I will simply deal with this without any emphasis, since I believe the thrust is absolutely clear.

Anyone in a long-term relationship, whether it be marriage, live-in, or exclusive love-f-w-b should know that infidelity is unacceptable. Infidelity simply means that the straying partner is unsatisfied with the SO. If that is truly the case, then a severance of the relationship is necessary, based on its insignificance and insolvency in regard to the offending party. The offended party is hereby freed from this farce should then consider other options as his/her emotional stability will allow. The offended party should, at the very least, terminate the present relationship to preserve his/her emotional health.

A Long-Term-Relationship means quite a lot to me, probably MUCH more than it should. I consider it TANTAMOUNT to a MARRIAGE, and if the woman regards it as such, then it becomes a fact.

Long-Term MEANS "LONG-TERM". I have said this before, and I will say it again, "LTR" does NOT mean "Long-Term-Relationship". It MEANS "LIFETIME-RELATIONSHIP", a marriage, REGARDLESS if VOWS are exchanged or NOT. It is a COMMITMENT of TWO LIVES, come HELL or HIGH WATER.

Now, please answer, what sort of MARRIAGE could DARE to surpass THAT!
 J.R.0950
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 80
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:49:13 PM
you and eddie murphy are both wrong,damn, someone taking advice from a comic!
 J.R.0950
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 83
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:50:40 PM
yes there are decent men out there,im one of them,however, there seems to be no decent women in this area of ohio.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 87
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:18:19 PM

Actually, according to statistics, 80% of men cheat, when in a relationship.


Source? And who are they cheating with?

I see women who have boyfriends and husbands cheat on them in bars and lounges. Quite often. Not exactly a scientific observation, but your stat isn't, either.

The screwy thing is that is seems many women have little trouble with hooking up with players and cheating men, until they get caught---by their own bfs/hubbies.
 Naughtical
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 89
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:19:47 PM

is there faithful or decent men out there

I think they all went to Russia or Nigeria, some might have went to Africa.
In distress, they e-mailed women over there and asked for air fare...women are just too complicated for them everywhere else. *sighs*
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 92
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:35:50 PM

Your dark, I read about it in a news article, and to be point blank honest, I don't recall where it was. Then again, I really don't think it matters that much, but I'm sure if you google it, you might be able to find the study.

Who are they cheating with? Umm...I would suspect either their own sex, or the opposite sex...depending on the person? hehe I mean, it would seem a bit overboard if they went for an animal or plant, don't you think. Although, I'm sure some of them do, hehe. ;)

Are you sure my stats aren't exact science? Just because someone 'says' my info isn't factual...does that make what they say a fact? Meaning, unless you know for sure, maybe, just maybe.


"Studies" come and go. You can't rely on a single article posting a number in order to justify an agenda or get attention. And if you even have taken an ungrad statician course, you would realize how serious errors can be committed, even with non-biased intentions. Plus, that's not accounting for demographics, the size of the pool of subjects, length of study over time, variance in cohorts, etc.

Covering a few dozen men (anon-wise) and asking in a questionnaire if they would cheat, for example, is not impressive or something you could extrapolate a conclusive---and a forgone conclusion at that---that eighty percent of men cheat if you're poll was scientifically weak in the first place.


Aside from that, most men aren't bisexual or gay. Sure, a minority of men cheat with other men, but most cheat with---you guessed it---other women. This includes single, divorced, and married women, btw, who are clearly complicit in their actions if they aren't ignorant of his marital status.

And I would also advance that loyal/monogamous men are considered "boring" for a strong subset of women and these women seek out men that see multiple partners in a short span of time, but that's for another thread.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 94
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:44:16 PM
Plus, there is the question of cohorts and activity. A man who has a single one night stand and never has one again is far different than the one that cheats with several women over time.
 ciscoj33
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 96
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:54:12 PM
now here's a lesson for all you psychology 101 majors out there....it'd have to take a woman who constantly goes after guys that are losers to post a thread asking if there are any faithful decent men out there.

i find this completely hilarious. a woman will go after a loser in a heartbeat...but thinks she has a right to complain about the way she gets treated. now is it just me or is that kind of person a hypocrite???
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 100
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:04:48 PM

Is this a Clinton response


False assertion.



Hmm..."No, oral is not considered sex," roflmao. I thought cheating was cheating? You know...married, you don't have one night stands...simple enough, right? hmm...Yup, Clinton and Monica all over again. What's one cigar, right? ;)


Why don't you ask all the young gals who (for religious reasons) don't have intercourse yet have oral sex and don't consider it 1) sex 2) or cheating on their boyfriend? That's a Clinton style denial as well, don't you think?

One night stands added to chronic cheating would make the stats much higher, simply put.

And if your source is Cosmo mag, we can safety assume those stats are not reliable.

But, don't get me wrong...women are catching up with these players,


And would that be by cheating on them? I thought you believed "cheating is cheating." Is it two wrongs make a right if a woman does it?

 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 102
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:09:55 PM

now here's a lesson for all you psychology 101 majors out there....it'd have to take a woman who constantly goes after guys that are losers to post a thread asking if there are any faithful decent men out there.

i find this completely hilarious. a woman will go after a loser in a heartbeat...but thinks she has a right to complain about the way she gets treated. now is it just me or is that kind of person a hypocrite???


QFT
 softeeatl
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 106
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:59:24 PM
You are a moron and one of the reasons good women...who may not puntuate properly are distressed and heartbroken...it makes you feel like a big good ol boy to destroy others....and just for the record 1) i got(have) a Master's...a BS. and a minor in Fine Arts...may I go further and say that most of the professional,articulate,well to doer's yes I said it are dirty fingernail,ring around the Bill Blass collar,hobbit feet having JERKS!
 Oliver_Seeking
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 111
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:37:58 PM
Here are some stats to boggle your minds:

It's tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy.

* 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
* 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
* Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
* 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity.
* 5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the year1997.
* 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
* 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
* 50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll.
* 61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
* 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
* Source: Associated Press
* Up to 37% of men and 22% of women admit to having affairs. Researchers think the vast majority of the millions of people who visit chat rooms, have multiple "special friends”. Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com
* Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)
* Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery. DivorceMag
* 80% think it's Ok to talk with a stranger identified as the opposite sex. 75% thinks it's ok to visit an adult site.
* About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage "Monogamy Myth", Therapist Peggy Vaugn
* About 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women have had sex outside their marriages, according to a Dec. 21, 1998 report in USA Today on a national study by the University of California, San Francisco.
* Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair,as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.
* A lesser known fact is that those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. For example, Dr. Jan Halper’s study of successful men (executives, entrepreneurs, professionals) found that very few men who have affairs divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers.
* Frank Pittman has found that the divorce rate among those who married their lovers was 75 percent. The reasons for the high divorce rate include: intervention of reality, guilt, expectations, a general distrust of marriage, and a distrust of the affairee.
* One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs. This Is An Internet E-Mergency, The Fortino Group
* Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature. Dr. Michael Adamse, PhD., co-author of Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships
* Because of the anonymity, affordability, and accessibility of Internet sexual resources, the computer can accelerate the transition from "at risk" to "addicted," as well as the progression of sex addiction in those with a history of prior sexual compulsivity. Cooper et al Survey
* 8-10 percent of Internet users become hooked on cybersex. Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com
* Spouses who get hooked on Internet porn are a growing complaint among spouses filing for divorce, according to a survey of 350 divorce attorneys. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," said lawyer J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, which conducted the study.
* 57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
* 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
* Evidence proves there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
* Evidence supports the existence of disinhibition, accelerated intimacy, and hyper-sexual online behavior that can easily lead to real-time infidelity
* 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex.
* It is estimated that 53% of all people will have one or more affairs during their lifetime.
* Look at the numbers from Playboy Magazine:
* -2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men admit they have sexual thoughts about co-workers.
* -86% of men and 81% of women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex.
* -75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with.
* The fact is that human beings are NOT monogamous by nature. That means they cheat.
* Experts say that a gut instinct is the most powerful indicator of a cheating lover. Adultery statistics state that 85% of woman who feel their lover is cheating are correct. 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. The first clue is seldom obvious. Typically, it's a "feeling" that something is different.
* Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair - largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.
* According to Annette Lawson, author of Adultery, published in 1989 by Basic Books. "The various researchers arrive at a general consensus…suggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women—perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty." According to Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners, first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
* "Most experts do consider the 'educated guess' that at the present time some 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become extramaritally involved by the age of 40 to be a relatively sound and reasonable one." According to Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, first published in 1989 by Newmarket Press (third edition published 2003).
* Conservative infidelity statistics estimate that “60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives."

Note that the above adultery statistics of the prevalence of affairs were made more than a decade ago; so based on changes in society during the intervening years, the current percentage of the population who have had affairs is probably somewhat HIGHER. For instance, the continuing increase of women in the workplace and the increase of women having affairs on the Internet means that the numbers for women having affairs is probably similar to those for men—about 60%.
 corsetsme
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 115
is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:52:56 PM
you know OP...I like you have always been cheated on, and to be honest I am not sure why as I consider myself to be a decent, fun person...but I am in agreement with the other responders...it is all about choices and looking back, break my heart though it does...I just made bad ones...so here is to us being wiser for it now...good luck to you...
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