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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Question about Loneliness      Home login  
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 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 2
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Question about LonelinessPage 1 of 1    
I think it's more of a fear of being alone, they can't handle the silence, or being by themselves. With someone there, that offers distraction from their issues, and they can focus on the other person. Plus they have a feeling that they'll never have someone if they are alone for a period of time. I'm a solitary person, so I can handle being alone, and I don't feel lonely, but once in awhile it is nice to break the silence of being your own companion. To each their own.
 happyboi
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 4
Question about Loneliness
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:59:57 PM
Hmmm, I am lonely at times. Lets see if I can put it into perspective.

I have a daughter, and a lot of friends... if I want to head out on an evening, SOMEONE is a phone call away. My daughter is finally old enough to be able to go out with me, without being a real burden, beyond just keeping track of her, because she takes after her favorite cartoon, Curious George. I have several hobbies that I enjoy... but there is something missing.

I was married for almost 12 years. Most of my adult life, if I had a problem in life, I didn't have to handle it alone. I could count on a partner. Friends, generally, do not get into the minutia of your life. Your partner WANTS to know that stuff, to be closer to you. You take comfort in a hug, at any time. You do NOT have to be an island, if you are having a rotten day, THEY can cook dinner, and give you a chance to relax. They can do something that needs done, so you can relax, and get your head back in the game. (It is a two-way street, the reverse is true, too).

It is also about just having someone there. Listening to their breathing as you go to sleep. Waking up in the middle of the night, and reaching out, to someone there, letting you know, that you ARE loved. You ARE wanted, they are there.

Probably the opposite of being lonely, would be pure contentment/feeling of well being.

I guess that would be MY take of it. It is not good, or bad, it just is. Just like ANY emotional reaction, it can go to far, and become detrimental. Honestly, I think those of us with kids are kind of lucky. We at least always have someone around that loves us.
 tazisjustlooking
Joined: 6/12/2004
Msg: 5
Question about Loneliness
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:35:40 PM
No wonder you don't know what it is like to be single Emmy, you have five kids you are never a lone
I have been single for 6 years and I have custody of my son. Up until this last year he would not go and stay with anyone except for his mom on occasion or if I had to work late he would stay with his grandparents. So I wasn't alone much at all. I also like to be by myself a lot. I can get into what ever I am doing and get lost and before I know it 3 or 4 hours have passed. But there are times that you would just like to have someone to be able to talk to or just sit and feel them up against you while watching tv on the couch. The feel of someone touching your face, your arm or your leg. Not in a sexual way but just sitting there touching you and you touching them. Those are the lonely times.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Question about Loneliness
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:44:41 PM
I think loneliness can take many forms. There are people that really have no one to speak of in their lives and they experience a certain type of loneliness, a failure to connect really with anyone.

Some single people are lonely for a significant other because they do miss things like being held but it is also the intimacy that is usually reserved for someone with whom we are romantically involved. And I think part of it is not just what one is missing now, but the feeling that one doesn't know how long the dearth of intimacy will last. So you miss it partially because you don't have it but also because you have no clue when you will again. That's loneliness.

Not knowing the answer to this is a good thing assuming that you have close relationships, which it sounds like you do.
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