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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.      Home login  
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 1
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.Page 1 of 1    
Are more teens NOT wanting to get their license? How much should I push my son to get his?

Ok my son turned 16 last spring and I thought I'd be nagged to death for his D/L... but no.. "yea I want my license is as far as it went.

We live in the middle of nowhere and you can't even get a cab to come out here after 9. (unless you give them a CC over the phone)It's an hour ride on the bus for him to get to school, but like 20-25 mins. by car.

Anyways, I refuse to ride him anywhere pretty much.. Seems alot of the parents are into just driving the kids around...Talking at the PTA and rec center this is becoming the norm...Parents around here have no problem with it, and I was amazed at how many Sr.'s don't have a car or D/L...

Is this a new trend? When I was 16, almost EVERY single kid had their lic. In fact it was 15 1/2 for learner's and younger for farming licence.

Just being that I am raising 2 kids, it would be great to send my son out to pick up something...Also there is no way to get to a job...

So..... is better to have another driver, or happy to not be worrying to death??????????(That's what alot of the parents say around here)
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 2
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 7:42:41 PM
Because of some extenuating circumstances with my becoming very seriously ill last spring and an incompetent other parent, my daughter did not get her permit when she was 15 and frankly, the whole damned thing is so confusing she still doesn't have it. She recently turned 16 and while she really, really wants to learn to drive we have wound up with one thing after another coming up like the transmission going out on my vehicle.

I don't worry about her driving because she is uber responsible and her friends all seem to be as well. She had one girl tell them all to be quiet or she was letting them out of the vehicle. I know of other parents that do not let them drive but one person for the first six months. Kids today seem more aware that it takes concentration and experience to drive well and don't want to be responsible for totalling a car or hurting their friends.

I think when you get sick of carting him around you will make sure he has had enough time behind the wheel to get his license. My stepson is 29 and currently lives in eastern Tennessee and I'm not sure if he ever got a license, but he didn't get one here because when he turned 16 we got custody of him and he never followed through on the grades he was expected to get for us to ante up the cash for driver's ed and he left the state before he turned 18.

I don't know if it is a trend but few of my daughter's friends seem to have gotten their permits as soon as they could or the license the minute they turned 16. And I live in an area of the country in which it always seemed like everyone gave their kids a car when they were 16 if they could really afford it or not. The only one I know of, the mother is bipolar so I think she had significant incentive to want to be able to get out of the house whenever she wanted, and her grandfather replaced his car and gave it to her, so she has her own vehicle too.
Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 3
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 11:30:15 AM
i have 2 sons and they both were not interested in learning till age 19 and i was glad about that as by that time they are more mature and responsible.

now they are 21/22 and have their licence and also bought their first car with their own earnings.

i think when the time is right your son will ask that he wishes to use putting pressure on him if he is not ready for it yet

just my 2 cents
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 4
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 2:00:20 PM
I understand the money... For just basic coverage it's $1,988.

I also understand the car,

But this is neither for my son. I have my own contruction business, and he could easily make 500 plus a week, A 1,000 in the summer if he wants.. it's all up to him..The more HE makes the more I make.

There lays part of the problem... money means nothing to him. He does not have the urge to go get something, did I spoil him over the years???

Car is not an issue either. I have a couple older trucks, and and even an orginal 84,000 mile older chevy caprice, which was actually traded in a job for his older brother 4 years ago, but he's married out of the house,kid, and 75 mins away,,and still no D/L

I offered to pay for everything but the insurance and gas...

We'll see what happens tuesady when they go back to school. He hasn't said anything about pay, and it's going down like this...

I'm gonna clip like 400 dollars on the frig and tell him... Here's what you eraned this week... You can use it for car insurance, or it's staying there until your 18 and you can use it for a security deposit on an aprtment.. I'm serious

...get tried of driving him around...

Pffft, thats my point. He often ask, and I look him right in the eye and say get your licence and drive yourself.. There will be a cold day when I drive him 1/2 hour up the road so he can play station or skatebord.....NOT at almost 17......BUT...

Plenty of parents seem to be find with it

Out of all my child rearing years ... this is the most frustrating, Then when I start talking around with other parents, I get the shoulder shurgs, and It's how they are now days

BTW he thinks it's fine to take a go-cart or his sister's motorcycle up the road... However, that's not happening... Other parents let their kids, but I refuse ... I even take their toys to another farm to ride, NOT on the street.

Again, I understand the money strain on the parents, but in my situaion, the boy could be doing good, and making his dad some money..

While I'm here ranting.... Each summer I'll get a boy or two from the neighborhood that works a few weeks, month starting out for money to get a car, but they are to lazy to work...I watch the 19 y.o. walk past the house several times a week who worked for me 4 years ago....sad but true.
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 5
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:59:32 PM
Mine bugs the crap out of me to get his license. Problem is......he won't do a damn thing around the house (on his own initiative) to help out. I have to remind him to feed his own dog, pick up his plate, don't leave socks in the living room, don't put his cap or hats on the kitchen counter, don't get into my tools without asking....etc, etc, etc.

He wants a license. Badly. Until I see more responsibility out of him it won't happen.
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 6
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To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/29/2008 9:26:56 AM
Hi 4408joseph.... well, speaking "from BOTH sides of the fence" i am a parent of Two 6 ft. Boys, AND i am a Driving Examiner for The State,.. the stupidest thing a parent can do is bring their child in on their 16th Birthday to take The DrivingTest...if they fail, they hate our guts, if they pass, they are an accident waiting to happen... i Love my Job (yes i am crazy and i sometimes use my own children as examples, both of them had accidents within the first four months of getting their licenses... one got his at 16 & one got his at 18.
and a few years ago, i got word that a teenager i had tested, was given a car and had a few of his friends in the car, were playing music loud not paying attention, & talking, going a bit too quick, Lost Control of the Vehicle, and crashed, He died, one passenger/a friend died, and the other was still alive when taken to hospital....
Parents should know in their heart if their child is ready and can take on the responsiblity of being in a moving 3000 lb metal target... too many parents are angry when their child does not pass, but maybe, just maybe there is !&%*$# reason for it?!? if i have to choose between safety and convenience, i have to choose safety.... Then, when they DO pass that Drive Test, its between the insurance company and fate.... Hugs....
P.S. we also have to give Driving Tests to people who ALREADY HAVE Licenses for Various Reasons, and they don't always pass, and to people from other states and other countries.....ALL ages ... *sigh* hugs again!
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